


Add It Up

by leftennant



Series: Add It Up Forever [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: And formulates a plan, And helmet sex, Apologies happen, Ares is not amused, Athena goes green, Athena saves the day, Bondage, Bruce is the man, Christening the Temple, Darcy discovers a fun book in china, Darcy does what she wants, Darcy gets the taser, Darcy is never allowed to meet Hermes, Darcy just wants her closet sex dammit, Darcy makes breakfast, F/M, Heimdall is awesome, Hermes and Artemis, Hermes is a shit, Iris is a flake, Jane and the Apple, Jane is stunned, Jealous!Loki, Jotunn!Loki, Loki dated Artemis, Loki gets jealous, Loki gets revenge, Loki goes Jötunn, Loki is a shit, Loki learns that is not ok to erect a naked statue of his girlfriend in Vanaheim, Mischievous Loki, New York Dragon, Odin is contrite, Oh my taser-toting goddess, Psyche slaps Hermes, Roleplay, Shameless Smut, Shower Sex, Smuff, Smut, Sub!Loki, Team Hammer to the rescue, There's no place like Helheim, Thor comes to the rescue, Thor finally gets the double-date, Thor is confused, Thor was a shit, Toga party of champions, Tony gets mad, Tony gets revenge...sorta, Tony is an ass, a very important discussion, back in Asgard, bagels in Asgard, blue sex, fondue is hard, possessive!Loki, snarky darcy, taserbabies, tasertricks - Freeform, twins!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 17:27:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 125,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1907577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leftennant/pseuds/leftennant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Darcy have been dancing around each other ever since they were paired up as a team at S.H.I.E.L.D. by Nick Fury.  When they both end up up in his apartment after saving the world, things finally hit the boiling point.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a oneshot. (hence smut in the first chapter) However, the response to the first chapter was so positive, that I wrote another. And another. 46 chapters later, and I'm pretty sure I've written the longest oneshot in history. ;D 
> 
> Writing this fic was ridiculously fun. I love the characters, and the pairing, and wreaking havoc with the Marvel Avengers universe. 
> 
> This fic is cracky. It is fluffy. There is more smut than you can shake a stick at. I had the very best time writing it, and I hope you have a good time reading it. :D
> 
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_Why can't I get just one kiss?_  
 _Why can't I get just one kiss?_  
 _There may be some things that I wouldn't miss_  
 _But I look at your pants and I need a kiss_  
 _-Violent Femmes, Add It Up_

Darcy can’t say it wasn’t building to this all along. I mean, seriously, what the actual fuck was Nick Fury thinking, pairing her with the God of Mischief and Lies? How did he not see that she was a total sucker for the whole misunderstood bad boy schtick that Loki constantly projected like a homing beacon straight to her highly receptive ladyparts? And she wouldn’t even get into what his armor did to her libido. Darcy had some very well-developed fantasies involving him wearing the helmet that would make even Aphrodite herself blush.

They were total trouble together too. It was like mixing gasoline and dynamite. The constant pranking that was now going on at Shield was quickly becoming the stuff of legend. It started with them changing the main conference room into a massive ball pit just before a meeting, and sort of spiraled out of control from there. In truth, Darcy was surprised that hadn’t both been unceremoniously ejected from the deck of the helicarrier, but so far everyone had seemed more amused than homicidal.

Their current pièce de résistance was turning everything in Nick’s private office pink. Carpet, desk, curtains, all of them looking like a giant cotton candy explosion had gone off. It was mostly Loki, but Darcy bought the pepto colored m&m’s and the candy dish that looked like it possibly came from Dolores Umbridge’s private stash. The My Little Pony emblem on Nick’s eyepatch was her idea as well, but Loki was the one with the magical chops to make it happen. It had Pinkie Pie surrounded by swirly script reading ‘Brony 4 Life’. Nick almost looked _pretty_ with it on. Almost.

Imagine their surprise when Fury’s response was cool indifference followed by a wry smile and him saying, “Haha, motherfuckers. The joke’s on you. Pink’s my favorite color.” 

And then he kept his office like that. Seriously. For all Darcy knew, it was _still_ fifty shades of Disney princess up in there. He didn’t keep the eyepatch though. Much to her disappointment.

So really, Darcy was not to blame for the fact that things had gotten this out of control. She’d tried. She really had. But then there was that whole situation a month ago with the not-exactly-lizard people in San Francisco, where she and Loki shared a very intense celebratory hug. Well, whatever. I mean, they’d won, and she had nearly died falling off the Golden Gate Bridge before Loki teleported her back to safety. So, you know. She had to hug him. For five full minutes. With some minor grinding and eye-fucking. Dammit. Stop judging, he smelled really, really good, and she was totally buzzing with adrenaline and relief. Not. Her. Fault.

And then there was the incredible victory kiss last week after they managed to stave off a full-scale killer alien blob attack in Paris. This time _she_ saved _him_. With the taser, thank you very much. Ever see a sentient blob of jelly laid out flat in front of the Eiffel Tower in a dead faint? It’s a fucking heady thing. Loki was pretty grateful. So he may have sort of kissed her. And she may have sort of let him. And possibly, _possibly_ , there was a bit more tongue than is strictly necessary in a ‘Hey, you saved my life, thanks for that’ kiss, but whatever. It was Paris. French kissing at the top of the Eiffel Tower was practically law there. Besides, she didn’t see anyone complaining. 

Ok, Tony made a comment. Two comments. Fine, three. Three comments, mostly of the ‘Get a room’ variety. However, it was _Tony Stark_ , so that was kind of to be expected. It would have been weird if he hadn’t. 

Incidentally, no one was more impressed by the pink office stunt than Tony. He was also profoundly offended that they hadn’t included him. They literally had to promise that if they ever decided to prank Fury again, Stark would be in on it, or he would put a very incriminating iPhone video of the victory kiss with tongue up as the official Shield screensaver. 

So, to add it up, one hug, one kiss… Had she mentioned what an amazing tongue Loki has? Like really, sinfully, Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down amazing. No wonder they put a muzzle on him that one time. Darcy was just surprised the Asgardian women didn’t riot over the fact that it was locked up.

Anyway…where was she? Oh yeah, the hug, the kiss, and more than a little highly inappropriate and extremely suggestive flirting had sort of brought them to a point where things were either going to boil over, or she was going to need to find a new partner before her frilly bits caught fire from the lusting.

The breaking point came in the form of yet another invasion in New York. Could Darcy just take a minute to point out that ever since the Chitauri, most of the galaxy was apparently dying to take over New York? Literally dying, because not a single group had managed it yet. Everyone at Shield seemed to think it was because New York was so populated and vital, but Darcy suspected it was actually because you could get sushi delivered at 2am. Who wouldn’t try to take over the biggest city on the Eastern seaboard for that? It was awesome. 

In fact, it was so awesome that after they’d defeated the latest threat, she and Loki had decided to order some to celebrate. And yes, okay, he’d suggested they eat it in his apartment and she’d agreed, but that was mostly because she was dying to see what his place was like, and it was much closer to where they were than her tiny place in Brooklyn...and...shut up. 

So they’d ridden the elevator up to his insanely-posh-in-an-extremely-modern-way apartment while she buzzed and fizzed with nervous excitement. He’d immediately done that cool trick where he trades his dirt smudges and battle-stained armor for clean skin and clothes with a flick of his fingers. Darcy, however, had zero convenient clothes changing magic at her command. Plus she was totally filthy. So she did what any completely insane girl would do at that point. She asked the God of Mischief and Lies if she could use his shower. 

He said yes. In fact, he said it pretty damn quickly, with this licentious perusal of her person that made her wonder if he had x-ray vision. An annoyingly prudish part of her pointed out that she should have minded that, and she told that annoyingly prudish part of her to shut the hell up. 

The end result of this was that she was currently in Loki’s bathroom, stripping off her gross Shield issue black fatigues, when she noticed the iPod dock sitting on the granite vanity. Oh _hells_ yeah. Darcy plucked her iPod out of one of the lower pockets in her cargo pants and slid it into the dock, scrolling quickly through until she found just the playlist she wanted. Then she kicked off the rest of her clothes, turned on the water, and stepped inside. 

The shower stall was all travertine tile with more jets than she’d ever seen, and a massive drenching showerhead. Darcy was totally going to have a little conversation with Nick on Monday about feminism, and how if she were going to be killing baddies alongside an ex-supervillain Asgardian Princeling then she sure as hell should be getting the same perks he was. If he got an apartment in Stark Tower, then she wanted one too. And it had better have _twice_ as many jets in the shower as Loki’s. Goddammit, she’d earned that, babysitting his quasi-reformed ass the way she had the past few months. No one even _knew_ the trouble she’d kept him out of. 

For instance, just last week she’d convinced him to not to turn that guy who’d cut them off in traffic into a toad. Well...okay, that might be a teensy, tiny fib. She had let him turn the guy into a toad, but only for like, twenty minutes, half an hour, tops. Frankly, they were probably doing the world a service by curbing his tendency to be an rampant asshat on the road. The dude was totally apologetic once Loki had de-amphibianized him. In Darcy’s eyes that was an all around win/win for everyone.

She was still giggling over the memory when the strains of the Violent Femmes’ Add It Up washed over her like a high energy bolt of awesome. Darcy just couldn’t help it, she started singing. And maybe… _maybe_ dancing. Just a little. The shower stall was just so damn big, it would have been a crime not to take advantage of all that space.

So there Darcy was, singing, and you know… _dancing_...when she was suddenly confronted with a tall, green and black silhouette standing on the other side of the fogged up glass partition. She took her hand and swiped it across the glass at eye level and there was Loki, staring at her with one elegant eyebrow arched. 

Now, as she saw it, Darcy had two options. Option number one: freak out. Tell him to get the hell out of the bathroom and go back to rinsing the mint-scented bodywash off her highly naked skin. Or, and this seemed ever so much more fun, option number two: act like it was no big deal and keep up her sudsy song and dance routine. 

Just then the playlist switched into the next song, and Kiss Off started blaring over the speakers.  
The thing was, Darcy really loved this playlist, like, a _lot_. And it wasn’t her fault if she was shamelessly enjoying it in his huge, gorgeous shower when Loki walked in like he owned the place. Which, technically, he did. See? She was totally absolved from guilt over this. The circumstances were extenuating to say the least.

Decision made, Darcy peered out through the tiny clear space she’d made with her hand and grinned wickedly at Loki. Then she went right back to what she was doing before he walked in. There was a pause, a beat where he stood there unmoving, just staring coolly at her through the little clear patch of glass. Then she watched in exhilaration as his face disappeared and the Loki-shaped mass rapidly flowed towards the end of the partition separating the shower from the rest of the bathroom.

Seconds later a decidedly more in-focus Loki appeared in the open threshold, and he leaned back against the travertine wall smirking sexily at her. “Is impromptu bathroom cabaret something you indulge in often?”

“Is walking in on your guests while they’re showering something _you_ indulge in often?” she countered, refusing the urge to cover anything up and brazenly putting her hand on her hip instead.

He gave a small nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “As you are my first guest, then I must assume the answer is yes. However…” Loki’s eyes traveled over her from head to toe and his gaze turned heated. “...I suspect for a conclusive result, it would require more testing. It is possible that you are the only guest who piques my interest in this manner.”

Darcy cast an impish glance at where his arousal was becoming clearly evident under his leather pants. “Oh yeah? Looks like your interest isn’t the only thing that’s piqued.”

“Indeed,” he replied, smirk deepening. 

“So,” she said, knowing that she was about to change all the rules forever, “were you planning on using that, or just standing there like some fucking creeper while I condition my hair?”

His reaction was breathtaking in its immediacy. Almost faster than she could follow, he stepped towards her, clothes shimmering away into nothing. By the time he reached her, he was completely nude and completely aroused, and she was pretty sure her brain short-circuited entirely when she saw how ridiculously well-endowed he was. 

“Jesus,” she whispered.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Hardly. Although I’ll take it as a compliment that you cannot even manage the correct deity at the moment.”

Darcy dragged her eyes upwards to give him a sly smile. “If I’d known what was under your armor, I’d have been praying to you all along. Trust me. In fact, I think I just became a convert.”

Chuckling, Loki began backing her up against the wall, his chest pressed against hers and his cock brushing the skin just above her hip with every step. She felt the cool tile behind her shoulders in sharp contrast with the heat of the man in front of her. Which was...well...actually it was sort of unusual. Loki generally ran a bit cold. She just assumed it was due to his Frost Giant heritage and didn’t ask questions because it was clear he was a little reticent to discuss that aspect of his life.

She’d only seen his frosty side once. Shield ran across some Jötunn relic hidden in the basement of old military bunker and they called in Loki to retrieve it because he was the only one who could touch the damn thing without getting life-threatening frostbite. Since she was his partner, Darcy was alone with him in bunker when he located and removed it. The moment he touched it, his skin tone rapidly changed from his normal pallor to an icy blue. 

The color started at his fingertips and washed upwards until it covered his whole body. Weeeell, she could only assume it covered everything. He was wearing his full armor at the time. For all she knew, while he was in his Jötunn form he was striped like an electric blue zebra, and only the parts she could see were solid cerulean.

Anyway, the point of the whole thing was that the man currently eye-fucking her was warm. Really warm. The sort of warm you associated with the term hot-blooded. And it wasn’t that she didn’t like it, because any naked Loki was _good_ naked Loki, but she was starting to wonder if he was doing the hot-blooded thing for her. And if he was, well...it wasn’t necessary. If Darcy was being completely honest, the whole temperature thing was sort of a turn-on. She wasn’t going to say that she’d gotten off to the thought of his cold tongue doing things to a very not-cold bit of her anatomy but...yeah, ok, she totally had. So sue her.

“Um, Loki…” she began, struggling to keep her train of thought as his breath wafted hotly over her lips.

“Hmm?”

His hands began drifting down the sides of her body, and she realized that she had about three seconds left before they started touching places that would rob her coherent thought. It took all the willpower she had, but she forced herself put both palms flat on his shoulders and push him back enough to put some space between them.

The look of absolute confusion on his face almost made her laugh. “What? Did I do something wrong?” Then his expression went from confused to guarded. “Do not tell me you have suddenly changed your mind.”

“Oh, oh no. Nothing like that. Really. I’m totally on board with this. Trust me. But, um…” She paused, trying to think of a good way to broach the subject. 

“ _Ask_ , Darcy. I too am on board. In fact, I would very much like to get _back_ on board,” he declared impatiently.

“Right. Yeah, me too. It’s just...your skin.... Isn’t it usually colder?”

An emotion flickered across his face so quickly she couldn’t quite place it. “I thought perhaps you would appreciate it if my body felt closer to that of a Midgardian. Do you not like it? ”

“Yeah, I get that, and it’s sweet…” He scowled at her choice of words. “...but it’s really sort of not necessary. I mean, if we’re gonna do this, I kinda want the full Loki experience...if you catch my drift.”

He was still giving her that curious look which she couldn’t quite define, but he stepped forward so they were flush again, she could feel his body gradually cooling where his skin touched hers. 

“Better?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow at her.

“Mmmm, yes. _So_ much yes,” she replied, squirming against him and making him chuckle.

“Was there anything else you needed, or may I continue pleasuring your person now?”

 _Pleasuring her person?_ Yeah, her knees almost went out from under her. “Nope, I’m good.”

“I suspect you will need to find a better adjective in just a few moments.” 

“Lucky for you, I’ve got an extensive vocabulary.”

I look forward to hearing it,” he said, expression totally filthy.

“Did you just come in here to talk? Because we could have done that in the living room. I mean, I could get dried off, and…” Darcy acted like she was going to duck under his arm and he promptly caught both her wrists in his hands and pulled them up over her head. 

“I came in here to fuck you, Darcy. But I think you know that.” He punctuated his statement with a slow grind of his hips against hers that sent heat rushing to pool low in her abdomen.

“Then shut up and fuck me, Loki,” she countered, “because I’ve been wanting this for weeks.”

At her words, he practically attacked her mouth, tongue sliding between her lips and thrusting along hers. She kissed him back enthusiastically, pulling his bottom lip between her teeth so she could suck on it. He moaned, eyes snapping open, and she had a moment where they gazed straight into hers, pupils fully dilated, before his head ducked down so he could press open-mouthed kisses over the line of her jaw and neck. 

Loki worked his way over her shoulder and down her chest, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting slightly so that her back curved enough to give him better access to her breasts. The first time he took her nipple in his cool mouth she gasped. He glanced wickedly up at her and nipped it lightly with his teeth before laving it with his tongue. Then he switched sides, tracing over her nipple with his tongue before blowing on it, sending a shiver all over body. 

While he continued his gorgeous torture on her breasts, she writhed against the wall trying to create a little more friction lower down. Seeming to guess what she needed, Loki trailed his hand up the inside of her thigh, fingers circling nearer and nearer until they grazed over her centre. Darcy made a half-choked groan as he slid those talented fingers straight into her slick folds, alternately dipping inside her entrance and rubbing over her clit. 

“God, Loki!” she gasped out, hips rocking helplessly against his hand.

He looked up at her, smirked devilishly and promptly removed his fingers. She had just begun to protest, when he dropped to his knees before her and deftly lifted her thigh up onto his shoulder.  
Darcy gulped, balancing precariously on one foot and staring down into his burning green eyes. 

“Don’t drop me.” 

Loki brought his hands up to cup her firmly cup her bottom. “I was thinking more along the lines of making you scream my name actually. Unless you have any objections?”

“Nope,” she replied so quickly it made him laugh. 

“Well then…” And he leaned forward, placing an open-mouthed kiss over her clit, eyes fixed on hers the entire time.

Darcy drew in a shaky breath and leaned her head back against the wall. “You’re making a good start,” she said, and could feel Loki’s answering smile against her skin.

Within seconds, she realized all her fantasies about his cool tongue over her hot flesh fell far short of the reality. She found herself arching into his mouth, fingers scrabbling for purchase on the travertine tiles behind her while he very slowly and deliberately teased her to the point of begging.

“Please…”

He glanced up at her and lazily stroked over her clit with his tongue. “Please what?”

She shuddered in his hands. “You know what I want. Stop being such a tease.”

“And you know what _I_ want. Say it.” He slid one hand forward and slipped the tip of a finger just inside her, moving it in and out with measured precision. 

“Loki,” she all but whispered.

“Louder.” The finger was joined by a second.

“Loki,” Darcy said, with a bit more volume.

“I said _louder_.” He curled his fingers, stroking her inner walls and making her grind down on his hand as he lapped against her clit again. 

“Fuck! Loki! Loki, please!!!” she cried out, burying her hands in his hair and fighting to pull him closer.

“Mmm, that’s what I wanted to hear.” Then he dove for her, tongue and fingers moving in sync as he relentlessly pushed her towards orgasm. 

Ok, so _this_ is what all that Silvertongue stuff was about, Darcy thought as he closed his lips around her clit and roughly sucked. She bucked against his mouth, fingers still wrapped in the silky strands of his hair, as she felt spiraling heat of her climax winding tighter and tighter inside her. Oh God, any second now… Any fucking second and…

Loki was right. She totally screamed his name. With absolute abandon. Like, twenty times. In fact, it was possible that Tony could hear her all the way up in his soundproofed penthouse apartment. Had Loki not been holding her up, she would have been on the floor, because her legs were shaking so hard that she was pretty sure all the bones had dissolved.

It went on for-fucking-ever too. Wave after wave of orgasmic bliss, cresting over her, and only building higher each time. It was then that she realized, for the first time in her life, she was have multiple orgasms and what a truly fantastic thing _that_ was. She was totally renaming him the God of Oral and Orgasms, like...immediately.

Finally he coaxed her back down, tongue and fingers slowing to a stop, and then he grinned up at her like the smug bastard he was. Oh well. He’d certainly earned it. I mean, you can’t fault a guy for knowing when he’s absolutely stellar at something. Seriously, if they ever muzzled him again, Darcy was going to bring about Ragnarok herself.

Besides, despite the smug smile it was pretty clear Loki was totally affected right now. He stood up, pupils so dark they’d practically swallowed every centimeter of his normally green eyes, and hitched her legs around his hips with lightening speed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and lowered her head to kiss him, tasting herself on his tongue as he enthusiastically responded. 

Loki reached down between them, and ran his cock through the wetness at the junction of her thighs. She was just about to sink down on him when the doorbell rang. They both froze, then Loki dropped his head down onto her shoulder and rocked it back and forth in annoyed denial. 

“Fuck,” she succinctly proclaimed.

“No,” he replied firmly. “Or rather, _yes_. One moment.”

And, to her great relief, he promptly conjured up a double and sent it answer the door.

“Best trick ever,” she said, and he gave her a slow-blooming smile that sent glorious tingles shivering out all across her skin. Hot damn the man was beautiful. Even more so when he was naked and unguarded in her arms. Darcy resolved then and there to do everything she could to bring about that smile every single day going forward. 

She rocked a little against him, gasping as the tip of his cock slid over her clit and then back down to her entrance. He locked eyes with her and she watched his face as he finally pushed inside her, going slow to give her body time to adjust. At the last moment he closed his eyes, lips parted a tiny bit, and she was struck by the near innocence of his expression. Then his lashes flickered open again, and he began to move. 

In seconds, her entire world focused down on the thick slide of him inside her, the concentrated, unhurried thrusting already causing the tense coil of arousal to build in her again. 

“You’re ridiculously good that this. You know that right?”

He smiled at her, look of concentration slipping onto one of affectionate amusement. “I might have been told that once or twice.”

“Fucker,” she said, and swatted his shoulder.

Loki retaliated by increasing his pace, pulling her hips down hard against him with each upward thrust. Darcy raked her nails down his back, and he hissed in pleasure. Just the sound of it caused twinges of heat to start low in her belly.

“Loki, please...I’m so close. So… _so_ close.”

“How close, Darcy? Tell me what you need,” he gasped urgently, as his thrusts became more erratic.

She placed her palms flat on his shoulders and used them for leverage to tip her pelvis towards his. “Just...I just need…” 

He slid his hands around her lower back and tipped her even further, each stroke causing him to grind against her clit.

Darcy gasped and cried out. “ _FUCK_ , yes! Just like that. Don’t stop, don’t, stop, don’t stop...” 

Loki thrust up, once, twice more and she was shattering in his arms, muscles spasming wildly around his cock. He groaned as the sensation triggered his own release. Darcy felt him manage a few more frantic thrusts before his body went taut and then began to shudder. He lifted his head, eyes seeking hers as he spilled himself out inside her.

Afterwards, she clung to him, waiting for the aftershocks and her pounding heart to slow. His body still held her pinned to the wall, and the water pelted down on them, dripping off their skin in rivulets to the floor. Loki’s head was resting against her neck and she could feel the alternating warm and cold of his breath on her collar bone.

Darcy shifted, attempting to unwind her trembling legs from around his waist. “That was really, really...” 

“Yes. It was.” He lifted her slightly, withdrawing from her body, so she could stand.

“Ouch.” She winced, and gingerly stretched up on her toes. “I’m not gonna be able to walk tomorrow, am I?”

He didn’t even attempt to hide his self-satisfied smirk. “I wouldn’t let that worry you, since I have no intention of letting you out of my bed for the foreseeable future.”

With that, he strolled out of the shower, jeans and a fitted t-shirt shimmering into place over his frame as he walked away. She stared after him, wide-eyed. Well, that answered her question over whether or not this was a one-time thing. Darcy found herself fighting down the urge to dance around and squee like a thirteen year old girl. 

That was until she stepped out of the shower and realized all her clothes were missing. And her taser. She was going to kill him. Slowly. Without mercy.

“Oh, by the way, Darcy, as your clothes were less than pristine, I’ve left something for you to wear on the vanity.” His voice wafted in to her from somewhere in the living room.

Okay. So maybe she wouldn’t kill him. Yet. A quick search of the vanity turned up one light green oxford shirt and nothing else. No, he was pretty much dead.

She quickly dried off and pulled on the shirt, rolling the overlong sleeves up midway to her elbows. All thoughts of killing him over it died the minute she stepped into the living room and saw the raw desire and satisfaction on Loki's face. 

He swallowed hard, gaze making a slow circuit of her body. “It suits you.” 

Darcy made her way over to the couch, sliding straight into his lap and pinching a bit of the oxford between her thumb and forefinger. “Your shirt, hm? Possessive much, Loki?”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “You have no idea.”

“Oh, I think I could probably guess. So, where’s the food?”

All it took was a single flick of his fingers at the coffee table and it was promptly set with their takeout plus chopsticks, cups and a little ceramic pitcher full of sake. 

“A girl could seriously get used to all this awesome hocus-pocus, you know that right? It’s like dating the super-sexy, badass version of Harry Potter. Although...you’re probably more of a Sirius Black than a Harry Potter,” she mused.

It took her a second to realize he was staring curiously at her and then she went back over her previous words with a groan. Crap. Crap, crap, crap. She’d totally just implied that they were _dating_. 

“I um… Not that we’re exactly, uh...well, you never said. Which I’m totally cool with because labels are just that. They aren’t important or anything, and…”

Loki reached up and laid a slender finger over her lips. “Relax, Darcy. I already told you that I intended to keep you in my bed for the foreseeable future. Also, we are sharing a meal at my apartment, which I paid for, after making love. I believe all of this more than meets the Midgardian requirements for dating.”

“Yeah?” she asked, excitement sparkling in her eyes as she bounced happily in his lap.

He smiled indulgently. “Yes, mortal, but be warned. If you start calling me your boyfriend, the deal is off. I am certainly no boy.”

“No,” she said, thinking of what just transpired in his shower. “you sure aren’t. So what do you want me to call you then?”

“I found the God of Oral and Orgasms to be rather appealing,” he replied, lips twitching.

Her jaw dropped. No. Nooooooo. “Loki Odinson, were you reading my _mind_ in there? That is some serious dirty pool. You can’t just do that.”

“I think you’ll find I can and I will. Get used to it. Dragon roll?” he asked, holding up a bite of sushi between two chopsticks.

She warred between the need to snark, and the need to eat. In the end, her stomach won out and she let him place the food in her mouth. “Look,” she said, once she’d swallowed, “I get that you have the ability to do it, and sometimes that is probably pretty advantageous, but a girl likes to think what’s going on in her head is private.”

Loki appeared to seriously consider her words. “Fine. From now on I’ll get your permission before delving into your mind. Truly though, it’s so utterly cluttered with nonsense that it was a wonder I could read anything at all. Fortunately, during sex you seem to be a bit more...focused.”

Darcy figured that was as good a promise as any she would ever get from Loki. Although she made a mental note to have less sexual fantasies of him at work. Or maybe more, if that meant it would lead to him getting frisky in broom closet or something. Mmm, getting frisky in a broom closet. _Oh Loki_.

“There is a very sizable coat closet just through there if you would like to practice,” he interjected dryly, nodding towards the entryway of his apartment.

“Oh my God, Loki! Knock it off!” She swatted his arm in exasperation. 

He chuckled and brought the knuckles of the hand she’d just hit him with up to his mouth so he could brush a kiss over them. “Darcy, I _am_ a god. Do not invoke my name in your little fantasies unless you wish me to see them. It is that simple. Although I will miss them. The one you had last Thursday during that tedious training session was quite intriguing.”

She started to turn bright red all over and then realized there was no point. “How intriguing?”

“The very next time we are in France, I intend to show you,” he said in a low voice that promised all sorts of deliciously naughty things.

Darcy suspected the citizens of Paris would never be the same. 

Which gave her an idea.

She pulled herself up, looked him straight in the eye, and thought very, very hard.

It only took a second.

Loki sucked in a harsh breath, pupils rapidly dilating. “ _Darcy_ ,” he whispered.

“I’m not going to get to finish eating, am I?” she asked, lungs hitching at the look on his face.

He licked his lips. “I’ll order more.”

“Okay.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

An hour later, Darcy lay on Loki’s chest in the wreckage that had once been his bedroom. He was idly curling a lock of her hair around his fingers. She tilted her head up and bit his chin.

“You aren’t going to start saying ‘mischief managed’ after every single time we have sex, I hope?” He asked, running his fingers over her ribs and making her squirm and giggle.

“Possibly,” she replied, “but only if it’s really, really fucking good.”

Loki pulled himself up on his elbows so he could look her in the eye. “Darcy, it will always be really, really fucking good.”

“Then yes. I’m gonna say it.”

He gave a sigh of resignation. “Fine. Although, I do not understand why I tolerate such impudence from you, mortal.”

She smiled wickedly. “I think it’s because I did that swirly thing with my tongue.”

His chest rumbled underneath her as he laughed. 

“Hey, it’s a valid point and you know it,” she said, and then rolled up to face him as another thought grabbed her. “What are we going to tell them at work?”

Loki pondered that a moment. “Whatever you wish. Tony will be pleased. I believe he had several bets running in the office pool as to whether or not we would crack before the next mission.”

“Really?” She stared at him, wide-eyed. “He _would_ , that fucker. It seems wrong somehow, he gets all the money and we did all the work.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” he replied nonchalantly.

Darcy peered at him suspiciously. “Wouldn’t say what?”

“I entered,” Loki said with a shrug.

“You WHAT?” Her jaw dropped in disbelief. 

“I entered the betting pool. In fact,” he declared with a smug smile, “I even got the exact date.”

She just stared at him, feeling like she should probably get really mad. Any minute now. Except… “Why would anyone bet against you? I mean, that makes no sense.”

“I disguised myself, of course. As far as any of those imbeciles are aware, I am Steven Brewster, from Logistics.”

“Steven Brewster.”

“Yes.”

“From _Logistics_.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t even know what to say. Wait. Yes I do. This had better not have been all for a bet, because god or not, I will fucking toss you out the nearest window,” she threatened, drawing herself up on the bed and wondering where the hell he’d put her taser.

Loki sat up and pulled her into his lap. “I assure you, Darcy, _this_ had nothing to do with the bet. I had no idea when I chose that particular date that it would be accurate. However, I will not lie and say that I didn’t want this very, very much, or that I did not suspect that you wanted it as well. Besides, I fully intend to split the winnings with you.”

“Really?” she asked, feeling a bit mollified.

“Really,” he said firmly. “Now, do you think we could actually eat this time, or do you have more wicked fantasies that you would like to loudly broadcast at me from that naughty little mind of yours?”

“Maybe later. I’m starving.”

He gave a highly suggestive look. “Definitely later, and you order.”

Darcy quirked an eyebrow at him. “If I order, will you wear the helmet in bed?”

His eyes glittered. “I’ll let _you_ wear it.”

“Deal.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Darcy return to work on Monday morning, and get more than they bargained for when Tony discovers what they've been up to all weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I couldn't not do this. I mean, you know they were bound to get found out. So, here it is. And yeah, it's a bit cracky...but then again, Tony Stark is sort of a cracky guy and this is a bit of a cracky ship. I am unapologetic. :D Also, I promise closet sex will follow. Cross my heart. Not beta'd. Any screw-ups belong to me and only me.
> 
> By the way, you guys are the best. Have I said that? I'm just amazed by the kudos and the comments and all the love in general. Thank you so much. I've often said that for me, writing fic is like running around outside naked and yelling, "HEY! Check this out! Feel free to comment on it!" So when people are encouraging, it really, really rocks. 
> 
> And before I forget, you guys are always welcome to prompt me. Sometimes all I need is the merest hint of a bunny and it gets the creative juices flowing.  
> 
> 
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well, this meeting had turned out to be more awkward than usual. And considering what they were normally like, that was really saying something.

It was their first Monday back after what Darcy was currently referring to as Awesome Sexathon Weekend of Motherfucking Mischief. Apparently she and Loki must have been putting off some sort of post-epic-fuck glow or something, because they'd barely sat down before Tony scented them like a shag-centric bloodhound. 

The Man of Iron was looking over a packet full of schematics, totally ignoring everyone, when his head suddenly snapped up and he zeroed in on them. It only took a minute for the look on Stark’s face to go from minor speculation, to intense speculation, and then morph into total smug awareness. 

He sat back in his seat and folded his arms over his chest, smirk fully engaged. “Sooo, you two look...relaxed...this morning.”

Loki eyed him coolly. “Yes, thank you, Anthony. It was a restful weekend.”

“Uhuh. I’ll just bet.” Tony’s smirk grew. 

Darcy tried desperately to distract him. It wasn’t that they planned on hiding their uh, _liaison_ , per se. It was more that she wasn’t exactly keen on announcing it during some sort of Avengers Q&A session complete with Fury scowling at her from his one good eye. And even if she _was_ planning on doing that, she certainly had no intention of doing it before coffee.

Which, actually, gave her an idea. “You!” she said, snapping her fingers at a nearby intern. The poor guy actually jumped. “Yeah, I’m talking to you, emo-hair. Coffee. Stat.” Then she turned to Tony. “Would you like some too?” she asked sweetly.

“That was literally the worst redirection I’ve ever seen,” Tony said. “Coffee? Seriously, Darcy? You’re losing your touch.”

“Hey, I just want my glorious morning elixir, dammit. I have no idea what you’re even talking about,” she replied innocently. Or it would have sounded innocent, she supposed, had Loki _not_ taken that moment to stroke his long fingers over the inside of her knee. Instead, it started out innocent and then ended in sort of a highly suspect squeak and jerk that had everyone staring at them. Awesome.

“If you wish for redirection, Anthony, I could always turn your hair into snakes,” Loki suggested with a dangerous smile. “It certainly worked well for Medusa.” He curled his fingers at him threateningly.

Darcy started to giggle and then thought of something. “Um babe,” she said under her breath, “didn’t anyone who looked at Medusa get turned to stone? Probably not the best idea for an 8:30 meeting.”

Unfortunately it wasn’t under her breath enough. Tony now looked like the cat who swallowed the canary. Tweet, tweet, fuck.

“ _Babe_ , hm? So, by this charming little term of endearment am I to assume the two of you have finally done the deed?”

Well, that certainly got everyone’s attention. Even Bruce had lost his perpetual look of pained detachment and was eyeing them with interest. At least Thor hadn’t gotten there yet, so she was spared whatever sort of input he would have had.

Loki remained impassive. “I have no idea what you are referring to, Anthony. Nicholas, feel free to begin the meeting. My time is precious and we have wasted enough already on this nonsense.”

Tony waved off Fury the minute he started to open his mouth. He wasn’t about to let this go. It was too much fun.

“Oh I think you know _exactly_ what I’m referring to, Reindeer Games. Sealing the deal, polishing the rocket, rolling in the hay, making the beast with two backs…” Inspiration lit up his eyes. “Riding the baloney pon..”

Loki was up like a shot, leaning over the table with both palms spread flat on the surface. “Complete that equine reference, Metal Man,” he hissed menacingly into Stark’s face, “and I shall remove your tongue permanently.”

Tony held both hands up in surrender. “Hey, hey, listen, I’m not faulting you. Being blocked is a bitch. I’m just sorry you two didn’t meet _before_ you decimated New York. It certainly would have saved on the bill to have my floor restored.”

Banner piped up, looking slightly embarrassed. “Um, yeah, sorry about that,” he said, grimacing.

“Don’t worry, Big Green, not your fault. Besides, you more than made up for it with that whole saving me from impending death bit. Which reminds me, I still owe you all shawarma. How does next Tuesday sound?”

Everyone stared at him. 

“What? Tuesday doesn’t work? How about Thursday?” He picked up his phone and spoke into it. “Hey, J.A.R.V.I.S., what do I have planned for Thursday afternoon?”

The British-sounding AI serenely responded, “You have a meeting with the President, select cabinet members, and the Head of the Department of Defense.”

Stark paused, and clucked his tongue while he thought. “Yeeeeeah, can you reschedule that for the following Monday?”

“Certainly, sir. Consider it done.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic. So Thursday then? I assume everyone can make that?” Tony looked around the table expectantly.

Nick just shook his head, jaw clenched. He was so used to the meetings getting away from him at this point, that he pretty much allowed at least twenty minutes at the beginning for just this sort of bullshit. Darcy realized it was like daycare. You let the kids blow off steam before calling circle time. She actually wondered if Fury had taken classes in early childhood development in order to deal with all of them. Either that, or he had copious amounts of alcohol before coming in. Probably both.

At that moment, Thor finally decided to put in an appearance, striding through the door, toting mew-mew and looking especially brawny in jeans, his armor and a fucking cape. Seriously. Jeans and a cape. Only Thor.

“Greetings my friends,” he bellowed happily. “How did you all fare this weekend? Jane and I have only just gotten back from Vanaheim. It was most refreshing.” He absently dropped the hammer down on the table, which groaned under the weight.

Tony grinned. “We were actually just discussing that. It seems your brother and Ms. Lewis had a very, shall we say, _stimulating_ weekend.”

Thor turned to Loki with an overjoyed smile. “Brother! Have you made further forays into friendship with Darcy? But that is wonderful!”

Tony snickered. Bruce whistled at the ceiling. Natasha bit her lip and turned her head away, shoulders shaking almost imperceptibly. Steve was grinning despite the fact that it looked as if he were slightly uncomfortable with the entire conversation. Barton gave Darcy a knowing wink, and Fury seemed three seconds away from strangling them all.

Loki was silently seething. Darcy wasn’t sure what worried her more. The fact that he appeared ready to pitch Tony out the nearest window, or the fact that at this point, she’d be totally fine with him doing that. In fact, she’d open the window herself.

“So,” she said loudly, clapping her hands together. “Whaddaya say we get this meeting started? I’m sure Nick has lots of really, really important stuff to discuss, right Nick?”

“Oh,” Fury said dryly, “Am I _in_ this meeting? I hadn’t noticed.” Then he looked from Loki to Darcy and narrowed his eye. “Just tell me you two idiots used protection, and we’re not going to have any cobalt blue surprises showing up in about nine months.”

Darcy made a half-strangled sound. Tony was now openly guffawing.

Concern clouded Thor’s features. “Protection? Were you and Darcy in danger? Why wasn’t I called immediately?”

She considered crawling under the table.

“No, you fool,” Loki snapped in low tone. “We were not in danger. Nicholas is referring to Midgardian prophylactics.”

Thor looked completely puzzled for a moment and then you could practically see the lighbulb go off over his head. “Loki,” he said in amazement, “are you _courting_ Darcy?”

"We are...dating," Loki said tersely. 

Darcy almost melted despite the utterly mortifying situation.

Crossing around the table, Thor clapped Loki heartily on the shoulder. “Jane will be so pleased! We now have a couple with whom to double-date.” He beamed congenially at the room in general.

The look on Loki’s face was priceless. Tony slid off his chair and rolled on the floor, hooting with laughter. Darcy had no idea what the rest of them did, as she was too busy doing an actual head-desk.

“Although,” Thor sounded thoughtful as he addressed Fury, “you do realize, Nicholas, that Midgardian forms of birth control have no effect on Aesir. Or Jötunn, for that matter.”

Wait, what? WHAT??? Darcy’s head popped up immediately, eyes searching out Loki’s face in a panic. Was Thor saying that her daily dose of hell-no-I-don’t-want-babies was useless against Loki’s godly sperm? Well, fuck.

Loki sensed her alarm, and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Do not worry, Darcy. I am perfectly capable of preventing conception. There is no danger of any, as Nicholas so charmingly put it, cobalt blue surprises.” He brought his hand to her eye level and green magic sparkled around it briefly before fading away.

The men at the table looked highly interested in learning that little trick themselves. Including Fury...which...ewwwwwww. 

Although...did Jane know this whole Asgardian super-sperm thing? For a moment, Darcy’s brain entertained images of strapping infant Thorlets running around, banging miniature hammers and bellowing about justice. It made her giggle in a really, really appalled sort of way. He’d better have told Jane, or Thor was in for tasing part deux.

“So,” Tasha said, finally deciding to enter the conversation. “Dating, hm? Is it serious?"

Shit. This was the _last_ thing Darcy needed. She glanced nervously at the God of Mischief. Fortunately, he seemed completely unruffled. 

It was at this exact moment that Jane came barging into the room, arms full of folders and papers scattering everywhere behind her. 

“Oh God, sorry, sorry. _So_ sorry I’m late guys,” she said, crouching down to scoop the loose pages off the floor. “Thor and I went to Vanaheim, and then there was this line when we were waiting to use the Bifrost to get back, if you can believe _that_ , and…” When she realized no one had replied, she stopped and slowly stood up, taking in the general atmosphere in the room. “What? Has something happened?”

All eyes were fixed on Darcy. You could have heard a pin drop. 

“Um, hey! Welcome back! So uh...how’s Heimdall?” Darcy practically shouted in an overly bright voice.

Jane's eyes filled with suspicion. “What did you do?”

“Seriously? Why do you automatically assume I did something?” Darcy blinked innocently. “I’m hurt, Jane. Like, really. Where’s the trust?”

She took a sip of her coffee, trying to look casual. Jane appeared unimpressed with her act.

“Let’s see… I walk in here, no one is talking, and…” Jane peered over the table in disbelief. “Tony, are you sitting on the floor? Why? Nevermind. I don’t want to know. As I was saying, everyone is silent and _staring_ at you. Meanwhile, you are sitting there doing the wounded bambi act. Which to me, is a pretty good indication that you have done something. So spill it. What did you do?”

Darcy opened her mouth to respond. 

Loki held up a hand to stop her. “Please, allow me to handle this.” Relieved, Darcy shut her mouth and gestured at him to go ahead. He turned back to Jane. “Darcy and I have just spent the past thirty-six hours rampantly fornicating. It was quite satisfying. We are now dating. Oh, and I let her wear my helmet in bed. She is very fetching in it. Will there be any further questions?”

Darcy almost fell over, which was saying a lot, because she was still sitting down.

Jane looked as if someone had just doused her in freezing cold water. “I’m sorry. I just...need a minute here. You’re saying that you and Darcy…” She made a rather eloquent motion between the two of them with her hand. “All weekend long? And that now you are dating. You’re dating _him_?” she asked Darcy.

“Um, that would be a yes. To all of it. Can I get some more coffee over here please? Like, possibly the whole pot.” Darcy held her mug up at the intern.

“I can’t believe I didn’t think to get a video of this on my phone,” Tony chimed in from his spot on the floor. “Hey Nicky, does the video surveillance in this room come with sound, and if so, may I have it? This is just screaming to be on Tumblr. Am I right, Barton?”

“Shut up, Tony,” Darcy, Nick, and Jane said the same time.

“Just once,” Fury fumed, “I would like to have a damned meeting that doesn’t devolve into a three ring circus within the first five minutes.”

“Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen,” Stark replied, reclining back and folding his arms behind his head. “Don’t worry, I'll just have J.A.R.V.I.S. run recon for the surveillance.”

“Personally, I’m happy for the two of you,” Steve Rogers said. “I can’t explain why I think this, but for some strange reason, you make sense together.”

Barton snorted.

“Uh, thanks I think, Cap.” Darcy wished the liquid in her cup was something stronger than coffee. Like straight vodka. Maybe she should ask Fury for some of whatever he drank before these meetings.

Jane was still frozen. Thor slung an arm around her and tucked her under his shoulder, ignoring the fact that all her folders spilled straight onto the floor due to his attentions. “Come my love, is this not a marvelous surprise? My brother has found someone to bestow his affections upon.”

“And his frosty Jötunn ice-pick. Don’t forget that part,” Tony called out jovially from the rug while sliding two fingers on his one hand into the curled tunnel he’d made with the other.

Loki looked at Darcy. “Feel free to taze him at your discretion.”

“You got it, babe,” she replied starting to fish around in her purse.

Tony feigned hurt. “Really? No shawarma for you two. You’re officially off the list.”

Nick shook his head. “If any of you need me, and believe me, you will _not_ need me, I will be in my office. Trying to choose a different career path. One that does not involve interacting with other human beings. So unless one of you is bleeding...no, scratch that. Unless the world is actually ending, stay the hell out of my way for the next twenty-four hours.”

With that he got up and left, still shaking his head and muttering what sounded like very scary death threats. 

“Well,” Loki said cheerfully, “it would seem this meeting is adjourned. Come Darcy, we have a closet to christen.” He held his hand out to her with a sexy smirk.

Tony sat up in alarm. “Wait. A closet _here_?”

Loki just smiled back enigmatically. 

“It had better not be the one in my office,” Stark said, glaring at them.

“Really Anthony, you do not actually believe I’d tell you if it were. What would be the fun in that?”

“Well, I’m never getting my own copy paper again,” Tasha said in a tone of disgust.

Jane still looked gobsmacked. Steve Rogers looked horrified. Barton looked intrigued. Banner started laughing.

Darcy decided closet sex sounded _way_ better than sticking around here. “Um, so, I guess this is goodbye. I apparently have some stuff I need to take care of…” She cleared her throat. “...in a closet. Jane, I’ll call you later and explain.”

Loki slid his fingers through hers. “Ready?”

She nodded. They disappeared in a flash of green light.

“Well, that was way more than I ever needed to know,” Banner said.

Tasha started gathering up her things. “Tell me about it.” 

“It had better not be the closet in my office,” Tony interjected darkly. "I'm just saying. Not my office."

“Are they truly banished from eating shawarma with us?” Thor asked with a frown. “It could be our first double-date.”

“I don’t know about you guys, but I could use a drink. Who’s in?” Clint inquired.

Everyone raised their hand.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy finally gets her closet sex. Loki gets even with Tony. And Tony gets some scotch and a vendetta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _This chapter is dedicated to Kiki923, ohhmyybonesss, and marshmallowdeviant. They specifically asked, more than once, for closet sex with the helmet. Here you go, guys, hope it meets all expectations. ;)_
> 
>  
> 
> _I also feel like I need to warn everyone that there is a lot of smut about to to happen. Copious amounts of it. Some of it may involve Loki's ability to make doubles, so If you aren't into ot3 action, this may not be your cup of tea. Although I'm not sure you can call Darcy with more than one Loki an ot3. Technically, it's still Loki. I need to think about this some more. Possibly while studying some diagrams and a full slideshow presentation of Tom Hiddleston doing various charming things. I'm not sure yet. Anyway. Chapter Three. Enjoy. :D_

The whole dematerializing and rematerializing thing didn’t always go as smoothly as Darcy would have liked. On short distances, she usually managed to keep her footing. However, when Loki moved them farther...say...from the Shield offices to wherever they were now, it was kinda bumpy.

Not that he had any trouble with it. No. He inevitably arrived looking all smooth, and godlike, and exuding sexy confidence. Which was totally unfair, because Darcy had a bad habit of stumbling around like a vertiginous mess. The upshot to all this was that Loki had begun either holding her hand, or, and exponentially better in Darcy’s opinion, wrapping his arms around her whenever he decided to teleport them somewhere. 

He’d done that this time. So she arrived pressed tightly to his chest, inhaling the spicy mint mixed with leather goodness that was his own particular scent. Mmmm. He smelled better than Christmas. In fact, if anyone ever made Loki candle, she’d buy out every single one and light them all at once. Her apartment might catch fire, but it would be totally worth it.

It was with great regret that she unfolded her arms from around his waist and turned around to take in their surroundings. “Um, Loki? Where the hell are we?” 

He gestured negligently at the space around them. “You wished for a closet. I have provided a closet.”

“ _This_ is a closet?” Her eyes widened as she took in the room which was roughly the size of her entire apartment. It was lined with what appeared to be closet doors, and had mirrors interspersed between them, with drawers running down the side of one wall. Curious, Darcy tugged open one of the drawers to find it full of neatly folded t-shirts. She then slid open a closet door, and stared at the row of very expensive looking tailored suits stretching on for what seemed like miles.

“Yeah, but whose…." She stopped as she realized she recognized one of the suits. "Oh my God, this is _Tony’s_ closet, isn’t it? Like, his closet at home.” Her lips started to twitch.

Loki grinned wickedly. “He very clearly specified that we not use the closet in his office. This is not his office.”

“He’s going to kill us.”

“He can only kill us if he catches us, and I have no intention of getting caught. Do you?”

“Nope.”

“Well then,” Loki began stalking across the room towards her, and her heart started doing this very fluttery dance in her chest. 

“Oh!” she said, as a problem suddenly occurred to her. “What about J.A.R.V.I.S.? Won’t he tell Tony we’re here?”

“Disarmed.” Loki continued his advance, eyes becoming more and more predatory the closer he got to her.

She licked her lips. “Awesome.”

“Yes.” He’d reached her at this point, and had her pinned between one of the mirrors and his body. 

She could feel the thick, hard length of him pressing against her through their clothes. “It seems like you’re in a bad way there, Cowboy.”

“Darcy, I have been aching for you since breakfast. It took every ounce of my willpower not to to have my way with you in on that conference table in front of Nicholas and his ragtag band of avenging misfits. The only thing stopping me was concern for your privacy. Believe me, I have no such qualms with public displays. So yes, I am in a very, very bad way.”

Darcy shivered. “Fuck.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Indeed.”

“Um, so then, where are going going to… Urk!” She squeaked as his suddenly lifted her off her feet and deposited her on one of the padded benches that ran down the center of the room.

Loki gazed up at her, smirking. “Lift your skirt, mortal.”

She shifted her feet nervously on the bench. It was a long way down to the ground. “Are you sure…”

He cut her off with a look. “Darcy. Lift. Your. Skirt.”

She did as he asked. Loki hissed loudly.

“Oh you minx. You naughty, naughty, brilliant little minx.” His face was warring between admiration and lust. Darcy thought it was a gorgeous combination.

“Well,” she replied primly, “I was a Brownie once. Always be prepared and whatnot.”

“I have no idea what that means, but I am thankful for it nonetheless.” He traced a long finger over her bare slit.

“I’ll be sure to send them a letter of appreciation,” she responded dryly. Or at least as dryly as she could while he was currently doing extremely arousing things to her below her skirt.

“So. I’m up on a bench. Any reason for that?” she asked. “Not that I’m complaining.”

Loki turned her slightly and she realized that it gave them both a perfect view of what they were doing in one of the nearby mirrors.

“Oh. Well. That’s um… Yeah. That’s an excellent reason. In fact, I love your reasoning.”

“You are going to love it even more in just a moment.” 

He reached up and brushed his fingers over the top of her head. Within seconds she could feel something heavy materializing over her hair. Awwwww, yissss! The helmet. She could actually sense the sexual excitement coming off him in waves. Loki had a serious kink for seeing her in his helmet. Which worked out very well, because she had a serious kink for him being turned on.

This time, however, he went a step further than usual, and as her clothes started to disappear, she could feel something else forming over her body. It took her a second to understand what was going on, and then she could see swirls of green and black falling into place over her skin.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. It was his _coat_. Darcy almost went over backwards. Now him putting her up on the bench made sense. The coat was miles too long, and the tips of her longest fingers barely peeped out below the metal vambraces, but still. Loki's coat. She was gonna die of sexy right there in Tony's closet.

Loki smiled at her, pupils blown wide, and despite her overwhelming sense of arousal, she couldn’t help but tease him a little bit. “This isn’t like some warped way of having sex with yourself, is it?”

He gave a lazy flick of his fingers and the room was suddenly crowded with Lokis all looking at her like she was their favorite dish on the menu. “If I wanted to have sex with myself, wouldn’t this be simpler?”

She would have responded had her brain not been completely broken by the idea of what appeared to be seventeen Lokis at once. Seventeen Lokis. At the same time. Jesus Christ. Darcy would never survive it, but she was absolutely sure she’d die a ridiculously happy woman.

It was clear he knew exactly what she was thinking, and he shook his head, chuckling. “Perhaps next time. I’m not in a sharing mood.” The extra Gods of Mischief abruptly disappeared. “Well...maybe one. We can’t have you falling over, now can we?”

She felt large hands steadying her shoulders, and whipped her head sideways to look. The helmet slid down over her eyes, and one of the hands left her shoulder to right it on her head. Then she found herself staring straight into the face of a Loki clone, captivating green eyes sparkling with mischief, and black hair drifting forward to brush his cheek. 

While she watched, the second Loki cocked his head and then leaned forward so that he could capture her lips with his own. She reacted instinctively, dropping her head to give him better access and parting her lips so he could sweep his tongue over hers.

Darcy had just brought her hands up to cup his face, when she felt a second pair of lips working their way up her leg. The Loki behind her broke the kiss, and she looked down to see that the real Loki was now kneeling at her feet on the floor, busily taking advantage of her distracted state.

She allowed all her weight to fall back on the Loki behind her. As she watched in the mirror, he wrapped an arm around her waist, and another around her shoulders, securely clasping her to his chest. The Loki on the floor moved higher up her leg, and she brought her own arm up over the one pressed to her waist. It was a novel and highly erotic sight, her small hand covering his large one while they were both enclosed in identical sleeves. He parted his fingers and allowed her to slip hers through them, while pushing his head down between where his coat collar met her clavicle so he could kiss her there.

Pleasure was washing over her in near overwhelming waves. Just being able to watch the twin Lokis making love to her was almost too much. She could feel herself getting wetter and wetter the closer the Loki at her feet came to her aching centre. Instead of touching her there, he skipped straight over it and began working his way over her stomach and back down the other leg. Darcy growled in frustrated need. 

“Mmm,” the Loki behind her said, lips grazing her neck. “Listen to you. I’m driving you spare, aren’t I? Shall I give you what you want, Darcy?”

Darcy whimpered as his eyes met hers in the mirror, and he slowly drew both of her arms up so they were locked around neck. 

“Hang on tight, Sweetheart,” the Loki beneath her said, his breath coming in cool puffs over her sensitive flesh.

Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh…. “ _Loki!_ ”

His mouth was right there, tongue working over her with calculated precision. She was shuddering, rocking back against the man behind her, fingers tangled tightly in the hair at the nape of his neck. He was murmuring encouragement in her ear. Telling her how gorgeous she was, how much this turned him on, how he was going to fuck her senseless in just a few short minutes.

“Oh, Jesus. Please," she begged. 

The Loki double’s hands drifted down her front, spreading the coat away from her body. They stopped a moment to cup her breasts, thumbs rolling over her the taut peaks of her nipples before continuing their journey downwards. She was gasping, head rolling back on his shoulder. The Loki on the ground slid one cool hand up the inside of her thigh and began teasing her with it. Dancing his fingers through her folds as his tongue stroked firmly over her clit. 

She wasn’t going to last much longer. The Loki double had reached her hips at this point, and splayed one hand over the skin of her abdomen, using two long fingers to hold her open more fully for his counterpart’s mouth. Darcy cried out, back arching against him. 

He spoke urgently in her ear, “Come, Darcy. Come for me. _NOW_.”

And just like that, her orgasm surged through her like a fucking freight train. It was all she could do to keep her hands wrapped around his neck under the mind-blowing onslaught of sensation. The Loki behind her used one of the horns on the helmet to tug her head back so he could kiss her, his tongue running riot in her mouth. She was practically sobbing by the time the two of them finally allowed her to come back down. 

Gentle hands guided her back onto the bench, one of them removing the helmet and the other stroking idly over her exposed skin, just giving her time to recover. When she opened her eyes again, there was only one Loki left in the room with her, an irresistible smile playing over his lips. 

“Hello,” he said. “Did you like that?”

“You couldn’t tell by the screaming?” she replied, voice a bit ragged around the edges.

He gave a dark chuckle. “Well, I had some idea, but it would be nice to hear it from your lips.”

She closed her eyes again. “You are the God of Oral and Orgasms. I’ve never come so hard in my life. Someone ought to build a monument to your tongue. Wait…” She cracked an eye. “...has anyone already done that?”

Loki was still smiling, but now he was doing that eyebrow thing that drove her wild. “Not to my knowledge. Feel free to erect one.”

“Be careful what you ask for, Christmas is coming up in a couple of months.”

He hummed in amusement.

“So, I’ve caught my breath. You know what that means.” Darcy gave him an impish grin.

If anything, his eyebrow went up even higher. “Do I?”

She pushed herself up off the bench, slid the coat off, and caught his hand in hers, pulling him along with her.

“Yep. It means it’s your turn.” Darcy began backing him up towards the wall. “Now, I know you said that you had plans to fuck me senseless and everything, but you never even bothered to ask what my plans were. I find that kind of rude.”

Darcy saw the very instant he caught on, expression going from heated to apologetic in a second. Well...more like heated _and_ apologetic. She was okay with that.

“You’re right,” he murmured. “How very rude of me. Please, accept my apologies. I am your humble servant.”

“You bet you are. Helmet up. I want full-on battle Loki.”

He gave her a look, but did as she asked, armor shivering into place all over his frame. He even added a ceremonial green cape thing. Well, fuck. 

She nodded. “Good. Now, laces. Get those things open, buddy.”

Wordlessly, Loki reached down and began undoing the laces on his pants, not stopping until they were completely loose. “Anything else?” he asked, calm tone belied by the harshness of his chest rising and falling with each breath.

“No. I can take it from here,” she said, and dropped to her knees in front of him.

He swallowed thickly, eyes fixed on hers. She decided the direct route was the best and lifted him free of the leather confines, immediately running her tongue over his swollen head.

“Fuck!” he said and metal clanged against the wall as his head dropped back.

“Watch it, you’re going to put holes in the wall.” Darcy licked a wide stripe down his cock.

Loki gasped. “I’ll fix it… _fuck_...after.”

“Okay.” She wrapped her lips around him and slid her mouth down as far as she could. His palms slammed against the wall, fingers crumbling the plaster under them.

Part of her wanted to torture him the same way he had her earlier, but an even bigger part of her wanted to push him as hard as she could. To take him and force him straight into pleasure in a way that would throw him off balance completely. 

So, without preamble, she went straight for quick and dirty. Darcy pulled her mouth free and spat in her palm, using her hand in tandem with her lips as she hollowed out her cheeks and bobbed over him. His hips began rocking immediately, bucking forward to meet her mouth. She could feel Loki struggling desperately not to be too rough, and it made her smile around him. 

More plaster came down from the wall, this time in larger chunks, and the sound of metal scraping woodwork filled the room when the horns came in contact with the frame of the closet doors. 

Darcy looked up to find his eyes closed, head thrown back in pleasure. As she watched him, Loki opened his eyes and looked straight down at her. 

He reached over with one hand, cupping the back of her head. Not pushing. Not trying to take control. Just...sliding his fingers into her hair at the back and tugging a tiny bit. She rewarded him by doing that swirly thing with her tongue that he’d expressed a great appreciation for previously. That little move was enough to tip him straight over into orgasm and his hips snapped forward as he came with a loud groan. 

Cool liquid spurted into her mouth and she swallowed reflexively, working him with her hand until he’d finished. Then she released him and carefully tucked him back in his pants. Darcy waited, just watching Loki's chest heave as he got himself back together.

“Stand up,” he finally said, holding his hand out to her.

Darcy took it and he immediately pulled her over to him, burying his hands in her hair so he could give her a bruising kiss. She nipped at his bottom lip and he growled. 

“So, enjoy your turn?” she asked, once he’d relinquished her mouth

“Will a simple yes do, or would you also like a monument?” he mumbled against the skin of her neck.

She laughed. “Hells yes, I want a monument. I just rocked the world of an actual _god_. If that isn’t monument worthy, I don’t know what is.”

He lifted up his head. For a moment a look of intense concentration crossed his face and then dissipated. 

“It is done,” Loki said. “Remind me to take you to Vanaheim some time and show you. Although I expect the villagers are rather confused at the moment.” He began to smirk.

She shot him an uneasy glance. “What villagers?"

“The ones residing in Nelhalla. I've just placed a statue of you bearing the words ‘Darcy Lewis, Goddess of Oral and Orgasms’ in the town square. Shall we go tomorrow and see it?” 

Darcy stood there, dumbfounded. “Did you really just stick a monument praising my blowjob skills in some village on Vanaheim?”

“Of course. You said you wanted one. I was just doing what you...”

She cut him off. “Take it down.”

“You really ought to see it first. It’s quite lovely.” He smirk was growing by the second, and she could tell by the faraway look in his eyes that he was somehow watching the poor villagers looking at whatever risque statue of her he’d just erected.

“Take. It. Down.”

“Fine.” Loki sighed in resignation, then brightened. “I could place it in Central Park instead. There is a charming spot right by the largest meadow that I think...”

“No.”

He folded his arms over his chest. “You really are no fun.”

“That’s not what you were saying five minutes ago,” she retorted.

He just rolled his eyes and fell silent for a few seconds. “There. It is no more. Do not say I never do anything for you.”

She gave him a wry smile. “Thank you, Loki.”

His current mischief thwarted, Loki looked about for something else to do. First he pulled her clothes out of thin air and handed them to her so she could get dressed, while he used magic to fix the damaged wall. Then she wasn't sure what he was doing, but he was clearly up to something. Darcy watched him suspiciously as he brushed his fingers over the myriad of drawers. After he’d made a full circuit of the room, he returned to her grinning smugly. 

“We can go if you wish,” Loki said, reaching for her hand.

“Uhuh. I know that look.” Darcy walked over to one of the nearest drawers, pulled it open and nearly fell over laughing.

Loki waited patiently until she was done, leaning on a nearby wall with one ankle crossed over the other. 

“Tony is going to _kill_ you. Seriously. I think we’d better check into a hotel tonight or something.” 

He shrugged his acquiescence. “How does one in Hong Kong sound?”

Darcy looked at him and realized he was dead serious. She considered it. It had been a while since she’d had really good Chinese food. Her stomach rumbled. She could totally go for some bean curd dumplings right now. Mmm, bean curd. So much better than impending death by Iron Man.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go to Hong Kong.”

"Excellent." Loki put his arms around her and they disappeared.

*****Later That Night*****

Tony Stark arrived home feeling pissed as hell. He’d had a long day working with Banner on some weird-as-fuck alien tech. They were still no closer to figuring out what it did than they’d been six hours earlier, but he _had_ been squirted with some foul-smelling space lubricant no less than four times while trying. All he wanted was a shower, a scotch, and a second scotch to keep the first one company. He grabbed the first scotch on his way to the shower and set it on the vanity where he could sip it as needed. 

Twenty minutes later he strolled into his walk-in, scrubbing a towel over his wet hair and toting his new friend, scotch the second. Tony realized something was wrong the minute he pulled open his drawer to retrieve a pair of boxer-briefs. 

Every damn one of them was green.

He froze. No. Absolutely not. Those two freaks had _not_ christened his walk-in. It was unfuckingthinkable. 

Full of trepidation, he pulled open the next drawer, and his jaw dropped in disbelief. All his favorite t-shirts. Gone. And in their place, looking like a fucking leprechaun explosion in a shamrock factory, were stacks of emerald hued replacements. 

Tony pulled a few out. The first one read _I’m with stupid_ and had an arrow pointing directly up at the collar. He tossed it on the floor. The next one had a sparkly chartreuse screen print of Loki’s helmet crossed with the glow stick of destiny and read _Keep Calm and Kneel, Bitches_. The third one had the letter **I** in bold print with a giant lime-colored heart underneath it, and then below that was the word **Horns**. 

Tony decided he needed a fortifying slug of scotch before checking out the fourth. That done, he set the glass down and unfolded it. _My God of Mischief and Lies went to Niflheim and all he brought back for me was this lousy t-shirt_.

That megalomaniacal shit. Tony was going to _kill_ him. Well, first he was going to have his closet disinfected and fumigated and _then_ he was going to kill him. If Reindeer Games was smart, he’d have teleported off to another country, because Tony Stark was gonna knock his ass straight back to Asgard when he found him. God dammit, it was a good prank though. Why didn’t he ever think of this stuff?

Tony picked up the now empty scotch the second, and decided to make those calls on his way to find scotch the third. And then he was going to suit up and find that fucker. It was about time Loki learned that Jötunn mischief had nothing on good old-fashioned American lasers.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor finally gets the double-date he's been hoping for...but is it a disaster or a success?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hey guys! I thought it would be fun to post this one from Thor's POV. And this chapter is for hquinzelle, who prompted me with the idea for a fondue restaurant._
> 
> _Thank you all again for the awesome feedback. Nothing makes me want to write like hearing that people like something. It's the best thing ever. You guys rock!_

Thor had been having a distinctly unpleasant half an hour. In theory, everything should have been wonderful. Loki and Darcy had agreed to a double-date with him and Jane. For an entire week, Thor had looked forward to it with great excitement and anticipation. Now, in the midst of said double-date, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

He picked up the tiny, pronged feasting implement in his large fingers yet again. What sort of foul sorcerer had conjured up such a baffling utensil? It was like trying to eat with a dainty metal twig. Thor simply could not understand why anyone would wish to do that.

Loki, of course, appeared to have no difficulty. There he was, handling the slender device as if he’d been born to use it. For a moment, Thor entertained very uncharitable thoughts about his brother. Thoughts that involved the words girly-man, and the term _ragr_. He immediately tamped those thoughts back down. Loki was neither, which he’d proven rather decidedly during the fight against Malekith, and it was unkind to refer to him as such. 

It was not Loki’s fault that his hands were more adept at handling delicate things, whereas Thor’s were better suited to tossing oxen over hedgerows. He sighed. Jane looked over at him sympathetically.

“Next time we’ll pick a steakhouse,” she whispered, setting a comforting hand on his knee. 

He brightened at her touch. His Jane, so very beautiful. She was especially lovely tonight, wearing a sweater the color of ripe cherries, and her hair caught up in a decidedly Asgardian fashion that he knew she wore only for him. For a moment he allowed himself to imagine how he would pull the pins from her hair later and watch it cascade around her face. Then they would enjoy each other on their newly reinforced bed. 

Thor looked up to find everyone at the table staring at him strangely. “What?”

Loki cleared his throat. “You were just waxing eloquent regarding bedframe reinforcements.”

He turned to Jane and found her staring fiercely at her plate, cheeks as red as her sweater. Well, damn. There went his plans for the evening.

“So, _that_ completely awkward thing just happened,” Darcy piped up from the other side of the booth. “Don’t worry Thor, Loki and I have destroyed our fair share of beds too. And closets. Plus just last week there was that whole episode where we got thrown out of Yankee Stadium...so..yeah…”

Thor drew his brows together. “But I thought the season for baseball was over.”

“Oh it is,” she replied airily. “We weren’t there for a game.”

Jane choked on her bite roasted red pepper in monterey jack cheese. Loki looked at Darcy as if he wished to ravish her on the table. Thor worried that his brother might follow through with it. He decided some drastic action needed to be taken before the rest of their meal ended up in a pile of broken dishes and liquified cheese on the floor. 

“Loki, will you please pass the meat strips?” He pointed at a plate on the far side of the table and Loki obligingly magicked it over to him. 

Thor had barely gotten the confoundingly miniscule chunk of meat on his odd fork when the sound of clanging metal and hissing hydraulics echoed through the restaurant. Loki and Darcy glanced guiltily at each other. A cloud of protective magic began to weave itself around the table. 

“You!” a somewhat metallic voice shouted accusingly. “I’ve been looking for you, Reindeer Games.”

“Oh hello, Anthony. Have you also come to eat fondue? Might I suggest the apples? They are in season at the moment” Loki replied, affecting an air of cool indifference. 

“No you pompous asshole. I’m not here for fondue...although...is that chocolate?” He flipped his facemask up. “Pass me a fork.”

Loki handed one over and Tony speared a marshmallow and a piece of graham cracker, dipping in them in the melted chocolate before parking it in his mouth.

“Goddamn that’s good,” he said while chewing. “Just like camping without having to actually be outside. You tried this yet, Beowulf?” he asked, turning to Thor. “Anyway, thing is, your brother fucked with my shit. I don’t take kindly to people fucking with my shit. On second thought, I think I will have one of those apples.”

Darcy passed him an apple. The rest of the patrons were dead silent, staring raptly at the little tableau unfolding in front of them. A few had begun to film it on their phones.

Tony stuck the piece of apple in some cheese and then started to eat it. “Where was I? Oh right, my closet.”

Thor blinked. “Tony, you are in the closet? I had no idea. How very brave of you to admit it. I congratulate you on coming out to us, my friend. Although I must say I am not surprised. Rhodey is a strapping man.”

Tony looked as if his piece of apple was strangling him. “What? No, man. No. Just...no. Not a metaphorical closet. My _actual_ closet. Where I keep my clothes. Jesus Christ.”

Darcy made a sound between a sneeze and cough, and quickly covered her face with her napkin. The napkin was far too small to hide her shaking shoulders though. Even Jane was snickering.

The smile on Loki’s face was blinding. Thor hadn't seen him look this delighted since they were children and Thor’s pony had dropped him and Mjölnir face-first in a pile of fresh manure. 

“Tell me, what is the issue with your non-metaphorical closet that you felt it important enough to interrupt our meal in such a dramatic fashion?” Loki asked, feigning innocence. 

“You know exactly what the issue is with my closet, you disingenuous prick. What have you done with all my Black Sabbath t-shirts?" 

Loki smirked. “Am I to understand that you didn’t appreciate my little upgrade to your wardrobe?”

“I _knew_ it was you. What else did the two of you get up to in there?” Loki started to open his mouth and Tony immediately cut him off. “Wait. No. I don’t want to know, and it doesn’t matter, because I’ve already had the place completely stripped and disinfected. I’m sending you the bill for that, by the way, Goat-boy.”

“First I am a reindeer, now I am a goat. Tell me Anthony, do you have some strange preference for animals that you would like to share with the class?”

Stark leaned across the table. “Oh you wanna play that game? Fine. Two words: Horse fu…”

Darcy began to cough loudly, covering up the rest sentence in a flurry of noisy hacks.

Loki maintained an icy calm, rising up from his seat with a look of disdain. “How many times must I explain to you people that Sleipnir was not my child, he was my _pet_.”

“Oh yeah? Tell that to your buddy Snorri Sturluson,” Tony retorted. 

“That man was a lunatic and a menace. You have no idea what sort of rejoicing took place on Asgard when we learned of his demise. Incidentally, he was stomped to death by a horse...with eight legs. I cannot imagine how that happened, can you?” Loki hissed back.

Thor decided he had better break things up before Tony armed the lasers. He hoisted Mjölnir from the floor and set it conspicuously between the meat and the fruit.

“Won’t you sit and share our repast, Tony? We have more than enough, although I do wish they had provided larger forks.” 

For a moment no one moved. Then Loki slowly returned to his seat. Stark still seemed uncertain, but Thor waved furiously at a nearby waitress and she scuttled over with another chair. Tony pressed a button on the suit and it started to unfold around him. He stepped free of it and it refolded itself into a weirdly torso-shaped suitcase.

“Well, that’s fucking creepy,” Darcy said, eyeing the suit like she expected it to start eating random diners. “Does it always do that when you aren’t wearing it? Ugh.” She shuddered.

Tony shrugged and dropped into the chair. “Newest modification. I’m still working out the kinks. Can I get a plate over here? How’s my hair look? The helmet tends to flatten it.”

Loki pulled a mirror out of nowhere and handed it to him. Tony took it like magic mirrors were something he used on a daily basis and began fussing around with his hair. Everyone watched in silence as he unselfconsciously turned this way and that, making pouty faces in the reflective surface.

“Thanks,” he said, and handed the mirror back. Loki immediately made it disappear. “So, about my clothes. Is there any chance you could make them appear the way you just did with that mirror, or are they like, gone forever on some distant plane of existence I can’t reach without copious amounts of meditation?”

“Your clothes are where they always have been. I merely used a simple perception altering spell on them.” Loki flicked his fingers and Tony’s current shirt, which read _Asgardians Do It In Valhalla_ shimmered for a moment and then turned back into his familiar Black Sabbath tour shirt.

“I actually liked the Valhalla one,” Tony said. “Any chance I could get another? Maybe in blue?”

“Don’t press your luck, Anthony.”

“Whatever, I’ll just have one made up. So, what brought about this happy occasion?” He gestured between the four of them while taking of sip of water.

“We are having a double-date,” Thor responded enthusiastically, relieved that the conversation had turned to less inflammatory subjects.

Tony looked at him like he’d just escaped from one of Midgard’s less reputable mental wards. “Uh..yeeeeah, I gathered that. Any reason, or is it just Fondue Friday?”

Darcy turned to Loki in surprise. “It’s Friday? We were in Hong Kong for a _week_? Why don’t I think it was a week?”

Loki smiled indulgently at her. “Well, Darling, you were rather preoccupied with the Taoist sex manual we picked up at that bazaar. As I recall, nearly the entirety of Thursday was taken up with page fifty-seven.”

“Oh yeah.” A fond look crossed Darcy’s face. “The Flying Dragon.” Then she did something with her arms and Loki’s chest and neck that nearly made Thor fall off his chair.

“Okay, that’s just _way_ more information than I ever needed to know,” Jane said.

“Seriously. I’ll never be able to unsee that,” Tony added.

“Relax you guys, we aren’t serious. My arms were actually more like this...” 

Jane grabbed her arms before she could demonstrate. “Thanks, but I think that I could go my whole life without knowing how your arms were during the Flying Dragon. Or any part of you, really.”

“Eh, don’t worry, I’ll lend the book to you when we’re finished. I bet Thor would find it totally inspiring.” Darcy smiled at Thor winningly.

“No. No thanks. We’re good,” Jane said. 

Darcy shrugged. “Okay. Your loss. Hey, is anyone going to eat the last marshmallow?”

Thor couldn’t decide if the date had been a massive disaster, or a brilliant success. At the moment he was leaning more towards disaster. He supposed that the lack of death or dismemberment was a positive. Maybe it was a success after all.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Later that evening he was stretched out on the couch in their home, while Jane cuddled up close to his side. 

“Do you think your brother actually has feelings for Darcy?” Jane asked. 

Thor thought a moment, recalling the way he’d seen Loki look at the young brunette during dinner. “I do, but I do not suspect he realizes it yet. Loki often perceives the thoughts and desires of everyone around him, while his own feelings seem to remain a mystery. Why do you ask?”

Jane shifted, lifting her head from his chest so she could look at him. “It’s just… I know Darcy can sometimes come across as a tough, independent girl, and she is...in a way. But deep down she can be pretty vulnerable. I think she really likes him, and I’m afraid she’s going to get hurt.”

Thor nodded. “Do you wish me to speak with him?”

She sat up in alarm. “No. Don’t do that. Darcy would kill me if she found out. But I just need you to know that if he makes her cry, I will hunt him down and make him regret he ever stepped a single toe on Earth.”

“Jane,” he said, face serious, “Darcy is my friend as well. Should Loki make her cry, I shall hunt him down myself.” He patted Mjölnir, which was sitting on the end table.

“Good,” she replied, appearing quite satisfied. “So… I was thinking, you know, since we’ve reinforced the bed and all…”

Thor jumped up like a shot and tossed her over his shoulder. “Come woman, I shall show you how we do it in Valhalla.”

Her loud giggles trailed after them down the stairs.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gets sick. Darcy gets pissed. Someone gets tased. Thor is amazing and hilarious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Ok, I realize this is a short chapter, but the options were:_   
> _A. Mega-Big Chapter that did not get posted for three days._   
> _or_   
> _B. Breaking said Mega-Big Chapter up and giving you something read today._
> 
>  
> 
> _I went with option B, and I hope that's okay. My day is going to be a little hectic. (And by hectic, what I really mean is that I am going to be watching Thor 2 with[greenfairy13](http://archiveofourown.org/users/greenfairy13/works), and attempting to create a new convert to Tasertricks)_
> 
> _That being said, there should be smut tomorrow. Which reminds me, will the lovely person who prompted Loki-bondage please raise their hand? Oh yes, I see you there. Ok, you can all thank thecatwhocouldreadbackwards for tomorrow's smut._  
>   
>  _(Also, I don't own 7-UP or Saltines. Nobody sue me.)_
> 
> *********************************************************************************************

Loki was sick. Not like, call an ambulance, alert the medical staff at Cedars-Sinai sick, but more like puking his guts out while whining like a little bitch sick. And Darcy, quite frankly, was getting real tired of his shit.

She’d _told_ him he was going to get sick all last week. The flu was making the rounds at Shield. Darcy got busy popping zinc and vitamin c tablets, but Loki kept flouncing around like some medieval prima donna going on about his superior physiology and Asgardian immune system of epic amazingness. 

Darcy snorted as she pulled open the door of his fridge to get him a drink. Apparently Asgardian immune systems _were_ fuckawesome but Jötunn ones were total shit, because Loki was half-dead on the couch while Thor was striding around healthy as a horse.

Her hand paused around the neck of the orange juice bottle when she heard another bout of retching coming from the other room. Great. She set the bottle down on the counter and went out to hold his hair.

Once he’d finished, she handed Loki the small glass of water sitting on the coffee table and he took a sip, swished it in his mouth, and then spat it into the mixing bowl where he’d just emptied his breakfast. Darcy winced. She _so_ hadn’t signed up for this three months ago when she agreed to become the girlfriend of a mythical Norse god. Thank God she had a strong stomach. Ugh.

She returned from dumping the bowl and getting him a new one, to find Loki lying pale and limp on the couch. He barely cracked his eyes when she leaned over him and pressed her palm against his cool forehead.

“I keep telling you that attempting to ascertain my temperature by groping my brow will not work. You forget that I am not human,” he snapped in irritation.

Darcy fought the urge to smother him with a throw pillow. “Listen, I don’t have to stay here. Do you think fetching and carrying receptacles for you to yak in, and taking care of your sorry ass for the past two days, has been fun? I can think of at least ten different things I’d rather be doing, and none of them involve holding my godly boyfriend’s hair while he barfs.”

She could actually see him roll his eyes under his closed eyelids. “I hate when you call me that.”

“Tough. My hospital, my rules. Now, can I get you anything? Crackers? A drink?” _Or possibly an attitude adjustment_ she silently added in her head.

“Some peace and quiet would be nice,” he replied sourly. 

Darcy closed her eyes and counted to ten. It didn’t help. She still wanted to murder him with a blunt object. “Fine. I am going to be in the other room. Call me if you need me.”

With that, she rapidly made her way to the bedroom and flopped down on his bed with her laptop. She hadn’t been there more than thirty seconds when she heard this weird tinkling sound echoing through the apartment. What the fuck? Why did it sound like someone was ringing a… Oh, she was going to fucking _kill_ him. 

She slid off the bed and tiptoed over to the door, peering into the living room. Sure enough, there was Loki, propped up on pillows and imperiously ringing a bell for her. That. Autocratic. Fucker. He hadn’t had a bell before, which meant that he’d magicked one up after she left the room. Darcy dropped her head against the doorframe and rolled it back and forth. Why her? Why, God, why?

“Loki,” she said through clenched teeth, and the bell immediately stopped ringing. “Was there something you needed?”

“You will have to come here,” he replied in a haughty tone. “You know I cannot hear you when you mewl at me from the other room.”

Oh hell no. He had _not_ just said that. Darcy surreptitiously slid her hand into her purse, which was hanging on the doorknob, and removed the taser. “Okay, babe. I’ll be right there.”

Holding the small black device behind her back, she plastered a smile on her face and walked out to join him. “You rang?”

“Yes,” he said, adjusting his shoulders on the stack of pillows behind his head. “I require sustenance. Please fetch the crackers and broth. Also, these pillows are unacceptably lumpy. Fluff them.”

She took a step closer. “You know what, babe? I was just thinking, while I was sitting down in the other room for that half a minute before you rang, that what you really need is some rest.” Darcy bent down and began stealthily pulling the taser from behind her back “In fact, I think it would best if you took a little nap.”

His eyes widened with awareness the moment he felt the two prongs of the taser touch his bare chest, but there nothing he could do. “Darcy…” he started to say, “perhaps I have been too hasty…”

“Night, night, Loki,” she said sweetly, and pulled the trigger.

Ten seconds later he was peacefully snoring and Darcy was on the phone to Thor.

“Darcy!” he shouted happily across the connection. “How does my brother fare? Still giving you a hard time?”

“Um, listen, Big Guy,” she said nervously, hoping that she wasn’t about to be decimated by mew-mew for assaulting his brother. “About your brother….I may or may not have just tased him.”

“You _tased_ Loki?” It took Thor a full five minutes to stop laughing. 

During that time, Darcy gathered up her things, and set a cup of 7-UP and a packet of Saltines on the coffee table next to the unconscious God of Mischief. She also wondered about the deep-seated familial issues going on in the Odinson family. Who finds out their brother has been attacked with 50,000 volts, and their first reaction is _mirth_? Only Thor and Loki, that’s who. Fucking weirdos.

Finally Thor had wound down enough to come back to the phone. “Does he live?”

“Yeah. He lives. In fact, he naps, but I don’t really want to be here when he wakes up. I’m sure you can appreciate my reasoning.”

Thor still sounded hella amused. “Indeed. Shall I come and sit with him so you can make good your escape?”

“Yes please,” Darcy replied. “Someone needs to be here in case he vomits. I don’t want him to choke or anything...even if he does sorta deserve it.”

“I understand. Please open the window, I shall be there shortly. Goodbye, Darcy. I pray for your sake that he does not wake before I arrive.” With that the he terminated the call, and Darcy quickly pulled open the sliding doors that led out to the terrace.

A minute later, a very cheerful Thor whooshed into the room, hammer first, and landed with loud thud. “Greetings, Darcy, does he still sleep?”

She smiled gratefully. “He does, and he’s all yours now. I’m going to go home and pass out for the next eight hours.”

“Do not fear, Loki is safe in my hands. It will not be the first time I have nursed him through illness. Although, I expect he would be loath to admit that. His constitution has always been somewhat less hardy than mine.”

“Yeah, I gathered that. Alrighty then. I’ll see you tomorrow to resume my shift. Unless he’s cranky. You’ll let me know if he’s cranky, right?” She turned back, hand on the doorknob, biting her lip with concern. “Oh, and please call me if he gets worse. I'll come right back, okay?”

Thor nodded and laid a large hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I promise you, Darcy, should he worsen I will call you immediately. Now go. Get some sleep. All will be well.”

Darcy nodded. The last thing she heard when she walked out the door was one of the living room chairs creaking as Thor settled himself onto it, and sound of the tv turning on. 

Not wanting to risk the chance of falling asleep on the subway, Darcy took a cab home. The minute she dropped down into the backseat, she was overcome by a dense wave of weariness. By the time the cabbie dropped her off, she only had enough energy left to toss some money at him and stumble into her apartment. She crawled into bed without undressing and was asleep in less than a minute.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies are made. Ex-girlfriends are discussed. Darcy is never allowed to meet Hermes. Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _I realize this is not smut, and for that, I sincerely apologize. (There's a statement I never expected to make in my life. Isn't it weird how things work out? Anyway...)_  
>  _The chapter with smut is being written, and I intend to post it soon. I just thought maybe you would like something to read with your breakfast, and this chapter was ready to go._
> 
>  
> 
> _Again, I can't tell you how overwhelmed and grateful I am by the feedback on this little story. It was literally supposed to be a single chapter oneshot. I'm not even sure how it grew to be a whole multi-chapter Tasertricks story, but I'm absolutely loving writing it. I had a discussion with my DW Beta yesterday about where I planned to go with everything and she was epically excited. I take that as a really good sign. There are already future chapters written, and lots of stuff outlined, and if I did not have to sleep and eat it would probably be completely finished already._
> 
>  
> 
> _Thank you all for your comments, and your kudos, and your love. I'm working super-hard on the next chapter, but it's taking longer than I thought it would because it has become so flipping big. Best case scenario: it will be up later today. (Saturday) Worse case scenario: it will be up Monday. That being said, feel free to let me know in the comments if you would like another mini-chapter today, or if you want it all in one GIANT dollop of fic-y goodness later._

Darcy woke up the next morning completely disoriented. Firstly, she was wearing her clothes from the night before. Secondly, it was still dark out. A glance at the Badtz-Maru alarm clock on her nightstand showed the time as 5:23 am. She closed her eyes and groaned.

“Shhhhhh,” a voice shushed from behind her.

It was then that Darcy noticed she was wrapped up rather securely in a tangle of long, powerful limbs.

Oh crap. Apparently she had a bed full of vengeful, Norse god. Darcy wondered how long he was going to toy with her before her violent death. She attempted to stealthily free herself, and the arm around her waist tightened.

“Stay,” Loki said in a sleepy rasp. “I am enjoying your warmth.”

Darcy stopped trying to wriggle away, but remained poised for flight. “Um… I tased you yesterday.”

He nuzzled his face against the back of her neck. “I know. I was there.”

“If you’re going to murder me, could you please just do it? Because the pre-homicide snuggling is sort of freaking me out.”

“I have no intention of ending your life. At least not right now. Relax, Darcy.”

“Yeah but...” She rolled in his arms so she could face him. “...aren’t you mad?”

Loki opened his eyes briefly and looked at her. “Yes, furious. I’ve never been so angry in my entire life. I am amassing an army as we speak. The decimation of midtown has nothing on what I plan to do to you as soon as I get my strength back.” he mumbled dryly.

She just stared at him. “I don’t understand.”

He gave an exasperated sigh. “Would you prefer me to be murderous?”

“Nope.”

“Then just accept that I am not, and move on. You are safe. I am here. It is very early. Go back to sleep.”

Darcy rolled back over and he pulled her close with a contented sigh.

“We’re the weirdest couple ever, aren’t we?” she said, happily cuddling back against his chest.

“Remind me to take you to Mount Olympus some time. Persephone and Hades will completely alter your perception of what constitutes as a ‘weird couple’. Trust me.”

“Mmmm,” she agreed, and then abruptly sat straight up in bed. “Wait, what? Who? Are you fucking serious? Persephone is _real_? That whole story about the fruit and the seasons actually happened? You’re kidding me.” Then she gasped. “Oh my god, are they aliens, too?”

Loki scrubbed his hands over his face. “When will I learn not to engage you in conversation in bed? Pesky, inquisitive mortal. Which question would you like me to answer first?”

“Are they aliens?”

“Yes, but their realms exist in a separate dimension from ours. Next.”

She bounced excitedly on the bed. The Greek gods were real! Holy. Shit. “The story, is it true?”

He frowned. “No. Not exactly. Persephone _wanted_ to be with Hades. They met at a feast or somesuch event, and began a clandestine affair. Him taking her to the underworld was all a planned elopement. In fact, I think the pomegranate was her idea. She knew Demeter would never allow them to marry otherwise. Hades was millennia older than than she was. In addition, he rules the Underworld. It is hardly the life you envision for your daughter...shackled to the King of the Dead for all eternity.”

Something strange passed over Loki’s face, but it was gone before she could puzzle out what it was, and Darcy wondered if maybe she’d imagined it. It was still pretty dark in the room.

“Wow,” Darcy breathed. “That is really, really…”

“Weird?” he offered.

“No, romantic. It’s so much better than the myth. Are they really separated for part of the year?”

“Well, that’s technically half-true. She is separated from Demeter during the colder months, because her mother refuses to visit the Underworld. However, Hades was not about to be parted from Persephone due to some ridiculous rule regarding fruit seeds, and built them a summer home overlooking the Parthenon. They stay there during her time on the surface.”

“That’s love, right there,” Darcy said. “He left the Underworld for her.”

Loki shrugged. “Only during Spring and Summer, but yes, I suppose you could quantify it as love.”

Darcy was still bouncing with excitement. She had always loved the Greek Myths. Now she wanted to know what else was real. “So, how about the rest of them? Like...um...Aphrodite, and Hera?”

He appeared to think for a moment. “What was that movie you made me watch last week? The one with the girl you said became a wreckage of trains?”

She giggled. “You mean a _trainwreck_. Lindsay Lohan. And the movie was called Mean Girls.”

“I still do not understand what trains have to do with that young woman’s personal life,” Loki said, shaking his head, “but think of that movie and you will have an understanding of what Hera and Aphrodite are like.”

“Really? They’re total bitches then. Huh. Somehow that’s not really surprising. What about Hercules?”

“Think Thor without Mjölnir, and an even larger entitlement complex.”

She made a face and he laughed. “Hermes?”

Loki smiled. “You would like Hermes. He is much like me.” 

“Oh really? That’s awesome. I’ve always sort of had a crush on him. He seems like the sexy, black-sheep troublemaker of the gods.”

His smile disappeared. “What do you mean you have a crush on Hermes? Nevermind what I said. He is nothing like me. I am the far superior Trickster God, and furthermore, he is hideous. Women and children weep at the sight of him. Men gnash their teeth. Animals die in the field.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Oh my God, Loki, are you _jealous_ of my fangirling over Hermes?” 

“No, of course not,” he replied petulantly, crossing his arms over his chest. “There is no comparison. I am Loki, Prince of Asgard, and he is a minor demigod who flits about with wings on his sandals. He cannot even teleport.”

“Admit it, you’re totally jealous.” Darcy shoved at his shoulder, biting back a giggle.

“I am no such thing. Although I do find it worrying that you still profess an interest for him while lying in bed with _me_. It speaks of a fickle and inconstant affection.”

She rolled her eyes. “You do realize I’ve never met him, right? Like, ever.”

“Yes, and now you never shall.”

“Oh hey,” she said, totally loving that she was pushing his buttons, “can I call him the way I call you? Do you think it would work? Hermes!” she shouted. “Hey, Hermes! This is Darcy Lewis at 1167 C Parker Aven..”

He clapped a hand over her mouth. “Stop that immediately, or I shall rethink my position on ending your life.”

She smiled against his palm. “Okay. I promise not to summon any super-sexy Trickster Gods but you from now on.” Her statement was completely muffled, but he seemed to understand anyway, because he removed his hand.

“So, what about you?”

“What about me, what?” he asked, brow furrowed.

“Do you have a crush on any of the Olympians?”

“I… No. I do not.” He looked away evasively.

“That was a total lie. You really must still be feeling sick, to not be able to hide when you’re lying. So tell me...which lucky goddess was it? Paidia? Circe?”

Loki was still refusing to face her. “If you must know, it was Artemis.”

Her eyes widened. “Really? Artemis? Wow, how’d you meet her?”

“At a banquet. We were seated together. I think my mother had hopes of a match. For a while, it seemed like there might be one.”

Darcy felt a little nauseous. How on Earth could she compete with a goddess? What did he even see in her? “So, what happened? Why didn’t it work out?”

“She met Thor,” he said quietly.

 _Oh Loki_. Her heart broke a little at his pained expression. 

“Fuck her,” she said. “Bitch doesn’t know what she’s missing.”

He turned to face her, green eyes pleading. “Darcy, do you mind if I sleep now? I am still ill, and bringing myself here earlier sapped much of my energy.”

Oh God. She really wished she’d never brought it all up. “Yeah, of course. Here.” She drew the blankets up over him and placed a kiss on his forehead. “You sleep. I’ll be here if you need me.”

“I am sorry about yesterday,” he said. 

“No. I’m sorry. You sleep, Loki. Okay? I’ll figure out breakfast.”

He nodded and rolled over, burying his face in the pillows. Darcy quietly slipped out of the room, shutting the door behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now for something completely different: Loki's POV on events...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _You guys, this chapter is really more involved than I expected. I do not know why. Wait, yes I do. All the characters will not stop talking and doing things. Anyway, I'm still working the um...kinks out..so to speak. (oh lord, nobody notice that pun) So, because I feel like you all deserve a little treat, here is some Loki. You're welcome. ;)_   
> 

Loki awoke to the sound of humming. For a moment, he stared at the strange room around him in confusion, and then he remembered. Sick. Tased. Teleporting to to Darcy’s in the middle of night because he missed her, and how he was going to destroy Hermes in a hail of fire if so much as looked at Darcy. Ever. 

And oh...Artemis. He was long over her, but the betrayal still stung, even after several hundred years. 

The humming came closer and then stopped. Loki propped himself up on the pillows, watching as the door opened a crack, and Darcy peered in around it. 

“Oh hey,” she said, with an absurdly touching amount of happiness at seeing him, “you’re awake! Feeling better?”

He was actually feeling desperately weak, but hated the idea of admitting it. The amount of magic he had used to bring himself to her home had been taxing on his already unwell body. At least the nausea had abated. That was a great relief.

Darcy was staring at him quizzically, and Loki realized that he hadn’t yet answered her question. She crossed the room and crawled up onto the bed on top of him, leaning down to bring her face inches from his.

“Whatsa matter? Cat got your tongue?” she asked, lips turning up impishly at him.

What in the Nine was she talking about? “Certainly not. What would a feline want with my tongue?”

“Oh good,” she replied, leaning down even further so her lips brushed against his, “because I’ve got some plans for it.”

For a few moments, his mouth was utterly consumed with the pleasant task of entertaining hers. Things were just becoming quite stimulating, when he found himself breaking the kiss so he could drop back and gasp for breath. 

Darcy gazed down at him in alarm. “You okay? Because usually I’m the one begging to come up air.”

This weakness was unacceptable. Loki shifted irritably on the bed. “I am fine. Bring your mouth back here, I wish to plunder it some more.”

“Uhuh,” she said, looking at him doubtfully. “Let me see you sit up first, Cupcake.”

“No. I am perfectly comfortable as I am.” He frowned at her. "And I am not a cupcake."

“Okay then, transport my iPod in here from the living room. I want it,” she said, folding her arms over her chest.

Childsplay. Loki rolled his eyes and flicked his fingers at the other room. Nothing. He glanced at his hand in annoyance and tried again, focusing harder on the object in question. For a moment, green magic sparkled around his fingers, and then fizzled out. They heard her iPod clatter to the floor in the living room.

“Right,” Darcy said, face etched with worry, “I’m calling your brother.”

She began to scramble off the bed, and he quickly snatched at her wrist, holding her back. “There is no need to involve Thor. He will only come and fuss over me like an old woman. My body is merely using the magic to heal.”

Biting her lip with indecision, she asked, “Promise you’re okay?” 

Loki quirked an eyebrow at her. “Are you really demanding a promise from the God of Lies?” 

“ _Loki_.” Her tone said she was not amused.

He sighed. “Fine then, you have my word. I just need time. All will be well in a day or so, and then I will transport that ridiculous Midgardian toy all over your domicile for you.”

"It's called an iPod. Say it with me, iiiiiii-pod." She put her thumb on his bottom lip, trying to get him to play along. He bit it. "Ow! Hey, that hurt!" Darcy immediately popped the offended digit into her mouth, glaring at him

"Give it back, and I will kiss it better," he said, giving her a sultry look.

She shook her head no, smiling around the thumb still trapped between her plump lips.

Loki reached for her hand and she twisted away, holding it aloft and giggling. "No way, Typhoid Mary. I don't want your germs."

"You adore my germs," he said, sliding his hands up her thighs so they rested on her hips. "Come mortal, I wish to infect you. Then I can mop your fevered brow, and tase you when you misbehave."

She flopped forward with a groan and buried her head in his neck. "Oh God, I'm never going to here the end of that, am I?" Her muffled voice vibrated against his skin as she spoke. 

"No. You are not." Loki reached over and pulled a few errant strands of her hair off his face, tucking them behind her ear. "I expect that by this time, most of Shield knows you assaulted me in my fragile state. My brother found it highly amusing, and his ability to keep anything to himself is nonexistent." 

Darcy immediately sat up. "Speaking of your fragile state, does that mean until you recover, you are more or less stuck here?” 

It was obvious that she found that intriguing, but Loki wasn't sure why. He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. “What is going on in that devious little head of yours?”

“Oh nothing,” she replied nonchalantly, looking everywhere but his eyes.

“You are lying.”

She ignored him. “Um. Listen, I’ve got a few errands to run, and I need to stop in at work and drop off the data I did while I was off taking care of you. Will you be alright on your own for a little while? I’ll stay if you need me.”

“Darcy, I am not such a delicate flower that I cannot manage on my own for a few hours," he scoffed. 

“Hey, watch it there with the attitude, buddy, or I won’t get you any delicious breakfast. Which reminds me, hold that that thought!” She darted off the bed and out of the room, returning moments later with several plates balanced precariously on top of a metal tray. 

While Loki watched in amusement, she unfolded two metal legs and set the whole thing in his lap. 

“Tada! Breakfast in bed! Isn’t it great? I made french toast, and see?” She pointed at the topmost piece of toast. “I put powdered sugar and raspberries on them in the shape of my boobs!” 

Loki looked from the plate to Darcy, lips twitching.. “It is a very good likeness.”

“I know, right? Look at those nipples! I’m like, a culinary genius or something. Anyway, your orange juice is on the nightstand. The fork and napkin are next to the plate, and I’m going to get out of here before I die from the sheer adorableness of you tucked up in my bed with a tray in your lap.”

She leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the lips before bouncing out of the room. He watched her go with an amount of fondness that almost made him feel uneasy. Then he turned back to his wildly inappropriate breakfast, and chuckled. It appeared her ability to surprise him was never-ending. She was clearly up to something at the moment, and he simply could not wait to see what it was.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shackles, role-playing, Darcy on top the the win!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _4,946 words. I _told_ you guys this chapter was long. Anyway, here it is. And I cannot remember who brought up penis pancakes, but you can all thank them for it being in the story. There is going to be bondage in this chapter. It is completely consensual, but I thought I would warn everyone in case that is not your cup of tequila. Also, we've sort of hit a milestone here with the 4K hits on this story. So I'm going to have some fun. What would you like to see happen next? Blue Loki? A visit from some other mythological characters? Some possessive God of Mischief behavior? Prompt me today and tomorrow. I'll pick my favorite...or favorites, tomorrow night, and dedicate the chapter to the winner(s). You can either prompt here in the comments or send me an ask on my tumblr: [Leftylain's Tumblr](http://leftylain.tumblr.com/). Ok, that's about it. Hope you like the chapter. :) _

Darcy returned from her errands feeling like her stomach was full of butterflies on a bender. She had a plan. A pretty fantastic plan, if she did say so herself. Unfortunately, getting her plan in order had involved a really, really awkward conversation with Thor that she wished she could wipe from her memory forever.

She groaned as she recalled it. So, _so,_ embarrassing. And even worse, it had happened in person, because she ran into him at work. She was hoping it could be done over the phone. At least then she wouldn’t actually have to see his face when she asked him completely mortifying questions about his brother’s fantasy life. 

“So...uh, Thor,” she asked, trying to avoid his eyes by pushing down the dispenser on the water cooler and filling up a small paper cup, “I was just wondering… Do you know if your brother maybe has any um… sexy nurse fetishes?”

Thor choked on his sip of water. Darcy ended up having to drop everything and pound on his back, while he hacked away with tears streaming down his face. 

“Nothing to see here,” she said to the various Shield employees who had stopped to stare. “The Stormy Wonder just sent something down the wrong pipe. We’re all good. Move it along, people.”

Well, this was going as badly as she imagined it would. Awesome. She waited patiently until Thor got his voice back. 

“Let me see if I understand you.” He tossed the remains of his crushed cup into nearby trash can. “You are asking me if my brother harbors any sexual interest in the occupation of a healer?”

“Um, well, not exactly.” Darcy paused a moment, trying to think of how to put it without completely freaking Thor out. “Ok, so like, here on Earth, men find role-playing in the bedroom to be sorta fun. And one of the more common costumes is sexy nurse. Is this making sense at all?”

An expression began to dawn on Thor’s face that Darcy usually only saw on Loki’s. Truthfully, it was sort of creeping her the fuck out. Mischievous, sexual deviant was not a good look for the Thunder God. She made a mental note to warn Jane about potential role-playing suggestions from her boyfriend. 

“You are asking me if Loki would be aroused by the uniform of a Midgardian nurse?”

“Kind of, yes,” Darcy answered, wishing the floor would conveniently swallow her up.

Thor thought a moment. “I do not believe he would.”

“Oh.” Darcy felt totally downcast. All this humiliation for nothing. Bleh.

“But,” Thor continued, voice sounding much brighter, “he _would_ appreciate the gesture of you wearing the garb of an Asgardian healer.”

Her head snapped up. “Really?”

“Oh yes,” Thor said, looking vastly amused. “Loki always did have a thing for Eir and her trainees. Well, mostly her trainees.”

Darcy had no idea what he was talking about, but she wasn’t about to let that stop her. “So, do you think you could describe what they wear? You know, just in case I wanted to um...wear something like it. For purely scientific purposes, of course.”

He gazed down at her and chuckled. “I can do better than that. Wait right here. I will not be gone long.”

Thor went striding off down the hall, and Darcy stood there feeling foolish and waiting for him to return. Not ten minutes later, he came striding back, carrying a small, wrapped bundle under one arm. 

He handed the bundle over to Darcy with a wink. “Eir sends her regards. She also says that you may keep it, and use in the pursuit of science as needed.”

Darcy clutched the ball of fabric to her chest. “Is this what I think it is?” she asked excitedly, trying to ignore the fact that half of Asgard probably knew about her amorous pursuits with their non-hammer toting prince right now.

“Yes. And if I might make a suggestion? Skip the inner garment and wear only the over-tunic. Asgardian men tend to find that...inspiring.” 

She glanced sharply at him. Thor looked as if he were having some very _inspired_ reminiscencing going on. Ew. Darcy totally didn’t need to know what Thor had gotten up to up in Asgard with his hammer. In fact, she didn’t want to know what he and Mew-Mew Jr got up to on Earth either. Jane looked satisfied, and that was more than enough knowledge on the subject.

Darcy abruptly cleared her throat. “So, um, thank you. You know, for this. And I’ll uh, I’ll be in touch. Bye!”

She had practically run down the hallway, and the whole time she could hear him chortling way behind her. If she ever found out that he had told anyone on Earth about their little talk, she was going to have Loki give the Chitauri Thor’s home address. 

Anyway, onwards and upwards. She had what she needed, and Loki was waiting in the bedroom. By the sound of it, he was sleeping, which was good. If she was going to get her plan in action, she would need to be sneaky, and it was really hard being sneaky when the person you were trying to be sneaky around pretty much invented sneaking.

Darcy tiptoed to her bedroom door and peeked in. Yep, he was totally asleep. So far, so good. 

A few minutes later, she was standing in front of the full-length mirror that hung on the back of her bathroom door mentally thanking Thor. She wasn’t sure how he’d done it, but the dress fit perfectly. And he was dead-on about skipping the underdress. The tunic part was way sexier without it. 

The cerulean blue outfit was almost shaped like a kimono, with a wrap-front and thick banded collar. There were little cap sleeves, and a small gold clasp that held it together in the front. She decided against wearing anything underneath. Loki would probably just rip whatever it was off her anyway, no sense in wasting a perfectly good pair of panties.

Darcy was tidying up the bathroom when she ran across a small, heavy leather bag that she’d missed before. It must have been wrapped up in the underdress of the healer’s outfit or something. A metallic clinking noise was coming from inside, and she curiously upended the contents into her palm.

There was a small cloth packet and what looked like two ornate bracelets. Then she noticed the metal links that connected to two circles and started to laugh. This was either Thor’s idea of a joke, or he was _way_ kinkier than Darcy had thought. She looked back in the leather pouch, and there at the bottom was a note.

Setting the fancy handcuffs and little cloth packet down on her bathroom vanity, she pulled the note free of the bag and began to read.

_Dear Darcy,_

_Eir asked me to include a packet of herbs. She said they are most efficacious in restoring health and vigor. Also, I thought these might come in handy the next time you need to tame my brother. It will certainly save you on having to charge your taser. They have the ability to contain both Loki and his magic._

_Best Regards,_

_Thor_

_PS. Feel free to use them for science as well._

Well. That was helpful in the creepiest possible way. Darcy weighed the fun she could have with the little gift against the knowledge that they had come from Thor. It was close, but fun won out. Then she wondered if Thor had brought a second pair back for him and Jane. That was a disturbing thought, and one which she hoped she’d never have again.

Still sort of shuddering, Darcy wandered out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. She filled a large bowl with hot water, and carefully carried it into her bedroom. After that, she got a stack of towels and the little packet of herbs and headed back in. 

Loki was really out. His face all peaceful, and chest rising and falling softly with quiet breaths. She silently set out the towels on the bed, making sure to create a thick, absorbent padding with them, and then tossed the herbs into the bowl of steaming water on the floor. As the final step, she hid the handcuffs behind the pillow on the empty side of the bed, making sure the connecting links went around one of the decorative iron posts.

Then she took a deep breath. Okay. She could do this. Role-playing naughty nurse was going to be fun. Now she just needed to wake him up and get the ball rolling. Darcy slid up onto the bed and stroked her fingers through Loki’s hair.

“Looooki… Hey you, think you could wake up for me?” She bent down and brushed a gentle kiss over his lips. 

He awoke with a sharp inhalation through his nose, eyes snapping open, and then immediately relaxed when he realized it was her. “Mmm, hello,” he said, slipping the fingers of one hand into her hair so he could pull her mouth down hard onto his.

She melted into the kiss, letting him take control, and his free hand came up to press against her lower back. She could feel his fingers sliding over the silky fabric of the tunic and then stop. He pulled his head away to get a better look at her. 

“My, my...what’s all this?” He did that sexy eyebrow arching plus smirk thing at her. “Did you become a healer in your spare time today?”

Darcy grinned down at him. “Well, I wouldn’t say healer, exactly. I’m more like a trainee.” 

“Oh a trainee, hm?” He lightly touched the gold clasp that held her dress together. “How very fascinating. And did you have a particular patient in mind?”

“Well,” she said, tracing a finger over his lips, “there was this one guy. He’s been pretty sick and miserable for the past four days. And then his girlfriend tased him.”

“Did she now?”

“Yes, she did, and she feels really bad about it.”

He smiled at her and ran his hands up her arms. “How bad?”

“Oh, you know, bad enough to get dressed up as an immortal space-nurse and offer him a sponge bath,” Darcy replied coyly, gesturing at the towels laying next to them on the bed. “As long as you’re cool with the idea, that is.”

Loki studied the towels for a moment and then turned back to her, desire starting to build in his eyes. “By all means, Darcy, have at me. I promise to be a most compliant patient.”

“Awesome,” she said with a smile. “I don’t suppose you’ve gotten enough magic back yet to do that amazing clothes disappearing trick, do you?”

He shook his head. “Sorry. I’m afraid you will have to undress me the old-fashioned way.”

“Do you have any idea how sexy that statement was? I mean, it shouldn’t be, but it was. How do you even _do_ that?”

“I’ve had a thousand years to practice.”

“Well you certainly put the time to good use. Now,” she said, reaching for the ties on his shirt, “let’s get this thing off you.” 

It took a few minutes of wrestling, but she finally got the linen shirt and pants off his long frame. He wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Mmmm. Commando Loki. If they made an action figure, she’d buy ten. 

Undressing Loki had actually been kind of novel. In the entire time they’d been dating, she hadn’t had to do it once. He had a very convenient habit of dissolving their clothes like smoke at the drop of a hat. She loved that habit. 

Darcy dropped the pile of clothes over the side of the bed, and stared admiringly at her patient. “You’re so gorgeous,” she said, sliding her palm over the sharp planes of his hips. “Seriously, Loki. This is probably why I spend all day trying to figure out how to get my mouth on you. It’s almost unfair.”

He gave a strained chuckle as his hips rose up slightly under her hand. “You spend all day trying to figure out how to get your mouth on me?”

She leaned down and kissed the spot her hand had just caressed. “Sometimes.”

“Have you considered just asking? I cannot imagine that I would say no.”

“Really?” She grinned at him “Is that all it would take? I’ll have to remember that for next time.”

He arched his hips into her palm again. “Please do.”

Darcy laughed. “Alright, Cowboy, let’s get you moved over onto these towels.”

Loki shifted himself over to the other side of the bed, his eyes tracking her predatorily as she walked around the bed to reach the bowl of warm water. “You’ve forgotten the underdress.”

“Did I? Huh. Imagine that.” 

“What do you have on under that?” Loki asked, cocking his head at her and studying her body intently. “Or rather, what _don’t_ you have on under that. Come here, _Healer_ , your prince wishes to satisfy his curiosity.”

“Ah-ah. Patience. No nookie until I take care of my patient.” She leaned down and dipped one of the washcloths in the bowl and wrung it out, before gently wiping it over his forehead.

Loki closed his eyes and let her do the rest of his face, only opening them again when she’d moved down to his neck. Darcy slid the cloth over his collarbone, leaning down to give a quick lick to his Adam’s apple. When she pulled back, she found his smoldering eyes fixed on her. 

He continued to watch her in silence as she dragged the terrycloth square down each of his arms, and then carefully drew it along each of his fingers. After she finished his arms, she set them up on the pillow above his head. 

“Stay,” she said, pointing at his hands. He smiled smugly and shrugged in acquiescence. 

Okay. It was now never. And she would have to be fast, or Loki would catch on, and very likely _she’d_ end up the one handcuffed to the bed. Attempting to distract him, she unclasped her tunic, letting it slide off her shoulders and onto the floor. Then she leaned over and pressed her lips to his, reveling in the fierce kiss as she cautiously reached behind him for the cuffs.

They fell open when she took them in her hands, and she could feel him pause when he heard the sound. Before he could figure out what she was up to, Darcy snapped them on. She let go with a gasp when the mechanism spun and tightened, reforming to fit snuggly around the bones of his wrists. 

Loki abruptly tried to jerk his arms down, rattling the links between the handcuffs. They held fast. He gave another sharp tug, but they refused to budge.

“Asgardian shackles,” he whispered himself. Then he smiled licentiously at her. “Oh, you _have_ been a busy girl, haven’t you?”

“Well,” she said briskly, “I can’t have you exerting yourself. We’re trying to get you better.”

“How very thoughtful of you.” Loki licked his lips. “I seem to be at your mercy, Healer. Whatever will you do with me now?.”

Darcy re-wet the washcloth and brought it to his abdomen. “I think you’ll find I’m a very thorough girl. Now you just lie there like a good little prince, and let me get on with my job.”

She went back to washing him, pulling the square of wet terrycloth over every inch of his skin while he strained at his bonds, panting beneath her attentions. Her eyes followed her hand as it moved over one of his powerful thighs, purposefully avoiding his fully erect cock, and switching to the other leg. 

“I am quite sure you already cleansed that knee,” he bit out, hips rising and falling restlessly.

“Did I? Well then, I suppose I’m done. Unless you can think of anywhere I missed,” she replied, feigning innocence. 

“Minx. You know very well where you missed,” he said, lifting his head from the pillow to glare at her.

“Where? Here?” She leaned down and dropped a kiss on his chest. 

“No.”

“Oh. Well, how about here?” Another kiss, this time just above his navel.

He growled. “No.”

“Oh, I know, it must be here.” Darcy licked a swath over his hipbone and he yanked so hard on the cuffs that the iron frame of her bed groaned under the strain.

“Stop toying with me,” he hissed through clenched teeth.

She straddled his thighs and bent over until her face was inches from his. “Say. Please.”

He inhaled sharply, and his pupils dilated until almost no green was left around them. Well, well, how about that? Loki liked being dominated. Wasn’t that just rich, with all his bossy behavior, and kneel here, kneel there, worship me nonsense. Now he was all tied up and loving it. Go figure.

Darcy found that she was way into their little game too. In fact, she was almost embarrassingly wet. Not that she was even remotely embarrassed. Nope. She was _way_ past that by now. Chaining your boyfriend to a bed will do that to a girl.

Speaking of her boyfriend, he was still being totally stubborn. She brought her lips to his neck, nipping over his pulse-point. Loki sucked in a harsh breath, and his back bowed against the bed.

“Say it.” She could feel him swallowing convulsively under her lips, but he still refused to beg. Okay, she would just have to play dirty. Heaven knows she’d learned from the best.

She worked her way across his clavicle leaving a trail of open-mouth kisses in her wake, and bit him hard enough to leave a mark where his neck met his shoulder. Loki moaned, hips rocking up forcefully, and she had to put her hands flat on his chest just to keep her balance. 

Crawling backwards down the bed, Darcy continued to torture him with her mouth, circling his nipples with her tongue before moving on to slowly lick her way down his rock-hard abs. He was shaking now, muscles rippling under the skin.

She had finally reached the thin skin spanning his hips, and began to tease him relentlessly with her mouth, as she kissed her way from one side to the other, completely ignoring where she knew he wanted her the most. The shaking increased, and midway through her second circuit he hissed loudly in frustration.

“Please.” The word came out on a gasp. 

“What was that?” she asked, running her tongue along one side of the deep V of his pelvis.

Loki pulled furiously at the shackles. “I said _please_ , Darcy. Fuck me, touch me, _anything_... just… _PLEASE!_ ”

Oh thank God he’d caved, because she was barely holding onto sanity herself. Not that she was about to let him know that.

“Of course,” Darcy purred, lifting up on her knees so that she could properly straddle his hips. “All you had to do…” She grasped his cock and slid it through her slick folds before sinking all the way down to the hilt with a loud moan of relief. “...was ask.”

He bucked straight up into her and she cried out loudly with the intense pleasure of it. “Again,” she panted.

Loki caught her eye, gaze desperate. “Together.”

_Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes_ , her brain chanted as she lifted above him and slammed back down just as he was thrusting back up. “God, yes,” she moaned, gripping the headboard in both hands to give her more leverage. 

“Harder,” he said in a low, hoarse voice, and she could feel tension begin to swirl and gather where they were joined. 

She gave him what he wanted. Riding him almost viciously as he voiced his approval. Each stroke of his cock inside her was pushing her higher, and she pulled a shaky hand away from the bedframe so she could circle her clit with two fingers while he watched. 

Darcy was getting so close, and she hoped to God that he was too. There was no way she could keep up this punishing pace much longer. She rose up again, thighs trembling, and came back down hard. Loki’s back arched up, every muscle in his body frozen in stark relief, and then he was coming wildly inside her, lips pulled back from his teeth in a feral snarl.

Her fingers quickened over her clit and within seconds she was orgasming uncontrollably, back curved to the point where her hair was touching his legs. Her body milking him from the inside while she shook and cried out above him. 

Afterwards she collapsed bonelessly over him, just trying to catch her breath. Their skin was damp with exertion, and his chest was heaving just as hard as hers.

“I don’t suppose you would consider releasing me,” he eventually asked in a quiet, amused voice. 

Oh right, because he was still shackled to the bed. Yeah, she could totally…. Shit! Darcy looked up at him in a panic. “I don’t have a key, there wasn’t one in the bag!”

“You _are_ the key,” he replied, giving her a half-smile. “Just touch them.”

Darcy did as he asked. The shackles instantaneously clicked and spun as they fell free of his wrists. Loki brought his arms down to his chest, cradling one wrist in the opposite hand and rubbing it with a rueful look on his face.

“Oh my God,” she said, completely distressed by the deep red grooves in his skin, “Loki, why didn’t you say? I would have stopped.”

“Because I didn’t want to stop. These are nothing. Here…” He held his wrist up to her lips. “Blow on it.”

She looked from his wrist to his face, brow furrowed in confusion. 

“Go on,” he said encouragingly. “Trust me.”

Gently cupping his injured wrist in both hands, she blew a warm breath over the scored flesh. As fast as the air hit it, the wound healed over, and she was left looking at perfectly smooth, unblemished skin.

Loki smiled, “Good. Now this one.”

Darcy repeated the action with his other hand and it healed in the same way. Blue eyes met green over the curve of his palm, and she smiled. “You’ve got your magic back.”

He gave her a sly grin. “I had a very adept healer.” Then he glanced down at the bowl of water on the floor. “And the herbs that Eir sent didn’t hurt either.”

Yeah...she didn’t exactly want to talk about Eir and the incredibly awkward Conversation of Embarrassment and Doom she’d had earlier with Thor. Loki would probably be vastly amused, but Darcy was pretty much hoping she would be able to forget about the whole thing. 

Loki pulled his hand out of hers and rubbed his thumb over her lips. “What are you thinking about?”

“Oh,” she said, giving her head a little shake. “Nothing. It’s totally not important. Are you hungry? I am.”

There. Asgardian males could _always_ be distracted with food. Even the really, really smart ones.

He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I suppose I am rather famished. Shall we order something, or would you like to make more sexually charged breakfast food? I could help this time. Maybe pancakes?”

Darcy had an extremely disturbing mental image of pancakes in the shape of Loki’s penis. With strategically placed butter. And a ridiculous amount of syrup spread over them suggestively. 

“Um… No, I’m not really feeling pancakes right now. What is it with you viking space princes and sugary breakfast stuff, anyway? When Thor first arrived, he practically ate all the Pop-Tarts in rural New Mexico in one sitting.”

“Did he?”

“Yeah. It was sort of gross and impressive all at once.” She made a face at the recollection. “Mostly gross. No one should eat that many Pop-Tarts in one sitting. It’s fundamentally wrong. Pop-Tarts should be savored and cherished. Especially the ones with frosting.”

When she looked up at Loki, she found his eyes trained on her affectionately. “You are so very odd,” he said. “I never know what you are going to say.”

“Unless you read my mind,” she inserted.

“Yes,” he agreed, “unless I do that.”

Darcy thought of something. “Hey, try reading it now.” 

She focused on what she wanted, which was kind of difficult, because she’d never actually seen the thing she was trying to picture. Loki’s eyebrows squizzled together for a moment in concentration and then he laughed.

“Really? For someone who has never seen Asgardian fare, you managed a fairly decent interpretation. The ostentatious use of gold flatware is certainly accurate.”

“I just wondered what you ate after you, you know, tumbled some comely bar wench or something,” she replied with a shrug.

His eyebrows practically hit his hairline. “ _Tumbled_ some comely bar wench? Did you actually just say that?”

She snorted. “Don’t tell me you didn’t have your share of wenches or whatever. A thousand years of being all princely doesn’t happen without getting it on with a few hot commoners.”

“For the very first time since I met you, I am relieved that you do not want me to read your mind. If only for self-preservation. Tell me, Darcy, what exactly do you think I was getting up to in Asgard?” He seemed slightly appalled and intrigued all at once.

“Are you saying you never bedded any scullery maids, or serving wenches, or I don’t know...cute, youthful stablehands? Because I find that hard to believe.”

She didn’t think he could look any more shocked. She was wrong.

“I am going to pretend you did not just say that thing about stablehands. In fact, I am going to pretend this entire portion of the conversation did not happen. Yes, Darcy, I had my fair share of sexual exploits. I am young, virile, royal. However, the only wench I wish to think about _tumbling_ right now is you. Will that suffice?”

His face was dead serious. She decided to let it go. “Yep. So...food. Can we make that happen?”

“Of course. Did you truly want to try Asgardian fare?”

“Sure. I’ve already gone native in other ways, why not try the local cuisine.”

He gaped at her. “Did you just refer to our sexual congress as ‘going native’?”

“Totally.”

Loki dropped his head back on the pillow and groaned. “Why do I crave your company so much? I must be cursed.”

“You’re not cursed, jackass,” she replied, leaning over him so the tip of her nose bumped against his. “I’m just really, really loveable. People can’t help it. I’ve got a magnetic personality. Just look at how everyone at Shield adores me. And may I remind you that you teleported here in the middle of the night, and that was _after_ I tased you. Admit it, Loki, you like me.”

“You do realize,” he said, putting both hands on her hips and rolling them so he was on top, “that if anyone else had called me a jackass, they would be dead right now?”

“Yeah? So? You basically just proved my point. You didn’t kill me, hence you like me.”

“Your mind is terrifying.”

“You love it.”

“Shut up.”

She smirked. “You always say that when I’ve one-upped you. You know that right?”

“I know no such thing,” he declared, scowling at her. “You are the most aggravating mortal I have ever met. Shall we eat?”

“I’m sorry, what?” She was trying to understand what her being aggravating had to do with eating.

He sighed and pointed to the other side of the bed. “Look.”

The whole opposite side of the bed was covered in large metal chargers and wooden bowls full of food. In addition, there were two tankards sitting side by side on her nightstand. 

“My room looks like a renaissance faire,” she said, staring at the food in amazement. “Is this really what you eat?”

Loki nodded and pulled himself up into a sitting position, linen shirt and pants appearing over his frame. Darcy leaned over the side of the bed, trying to find her missing tunic. 

“I don’t recall saying you could get dressed, wench,” Loki said, and then he totally smacked her ass.

She turned around to stare at him. “Oh my god, Loki, are you role-playing? Look at that! I completely corrupted you! Awesome.” Darcy grinned. 

He snorted. “Yes, because I knew nothing of sexual games prior to meeting you. Look at me. A few wanton months spent with a single mortal woman and I am ruined forever. You have stolen my innocence. I hope you are proud of yourself.”

“Damn straight I’m proud of myself. Keeping up with you is no mean feat. You try surprising the man who invented deception. It’s fucking hard.”

“Not right now, it isn’t, but I could certainly remedy that if you wish.” His eyes glittered with lust.

She swallowed. “Um…” Food? Sex? God, this was a tough call. She blamed him. He just looked so damn scrumptious, sitting there all disheveled, with his hair doing that slightly curly thing she loved.

“Eat, Darcy,” he said, handing her something that looked like an oversized dinner roll. “You will need your energy. I have plans for you later.”

“I love when you have plans for me.”

“I know.”

“So these plans,” she mumbled around a bite of roll, “do they involve sex?”

“Darcy?”

“Yeah?”

“ _Eat_.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermes gets more than he bargained for when he tries to seduce a certain brunette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have a winner for the 4k Hits Prompt Challenge!!!  
> Lavanyalabelle said: Blue Loki and possessive Loki due to cameo roles of the Olympians.
> 
> YAY! Lavanyalabelle, this chapter is for you! 
> 
> Also, here are the other people who requested Jötunn Loki and therefore should be mentioned: MegMHanna, Poor Unfortunate Soul, MarshmallowDeviant, Kiki923, and Loki-Got-Your-Tongue on Tumblr. Thanks everyone!!!! That was awesome!!!!
> 
> Now, there is an attempted seduction in this chapter. Nothing happens, BUT because of how Hermes tries to get his sexytimes on, I am putting a trigger warning for noncon. Again, he never gets his paws on her, but I just want to cover my bases, and be sensitive to people with triggers. :)
> 
> ********************************************

Darcy flopped over grumpily on Loki’s couch, and turned on the tv. He’d been called into work on some sort of urgent, top secret business, and she’d been left to amuse herself in his apartment until he got back. Amusing herself without Loki was so lame. She’d much rather amuse herself _with_ him. 

She sighed. Loki had totally spoiled her for pretty much everything. Even watching crappy tv was better with him, because he always cracked snide jokes about the actors, and made out with her during the commercial breaks. For a big, bad, trouble-making viking deity, he was surprisingly affectionate. 

God, she had it bad for him. Worse than bad. How long was that damn meeting with Fury going to take? Darcy and her frustrated ladyparts wanted their silver-tongued Prince of Mischief back.

Speaking of his silver tongue, last night was totally going in the Oral Sex Hall of Fame. They had been hanging out in his bed, because...well...they did a lot of that. It was big, and comfortable, and very often making out during the commercial breaks in there turned into sex, which she adored. 

Wait, where was she? Oh, right hanging out in his bed. So there they were, hanging out and talking about how much she loved the holidays. Arguing really, mostly because Loki pointed out that they weren’t _his_ holidays, and she told him to shut up and just enjoy how fun New York was around Christmas, and they both realized that they’d been together for six months.

Six. Months. If you had told Darcy Lewis that she would be in what basically constituted a long-term relationship with Loki seven months ago, she would have told you to go stick your head in a bucket. Despite that, here she was, not only in a relationship with him, but pretty sure that at this point, she was totally, completely, and quite irrevocably in love with him.

Jesus. Now _that_ was a scary prospect. Darcy began to throw the remote control up in the air, and catch it in her hand as she thought. She hadn’t told him yet, more or less because it occurred to her that moving too fast with a guy who had the sort of trust issues Loki did would be hardcore suicidal to their relationship. Somehow, by some miracle of epic proportions, she’d managed to keep him interested for six whole months. It really made a girl want to count her fucking blessings, especially since all her past relationships had never made it further than the three month mark.

And her train of thought had totally derailed again, as usual. A small smile played over her lips as she thought back to the look on his face when the whole six months thing had come up. He was surprisingly okay with it. Of course he did that typical “Woe is me, stuck with this pesky, insane mortal,” shit that he always did, but she could tell it was all for show. Once he got done bemoaning his tragic fate, he sat up and pointed out that she had been a very good girl for the past six months, and good girls deserved to be rewarded.

And then he rewarded her for the next forty minutes. With his tongue. Until she was crying from how good it felt. Guh. He was so, totally evil. Darcy wondered if she should be disturbed by how much she loved the fact that her boyfriend was a sex-crazed psycho. She was not. Not even a little bit. What did that say about her? Oh well, whatever. She had six orgasms in forty minutes and that pretty much made up for any moral ambiguity on the subject of her relationship with Loki in her book.

He counted. Did she say that before? He actually _counted_ them off. One for each month. By the fifth one she was actually screaming, and later when they came out of the bedroom they found a very snarky message from Tony on her phone asking if she could please go orgasm at her place, because he and Pepper had guests. Oops.

Actually, what he really said was that it was fine with him if she and Loki wanted to put on a show, but he’d be damned if all he could do was hear it and not see it. They could either feel free to continue in person and entertain his guests, or go back to her place. Darcy was totally going to show the message to Pepper. It would serve him right.

Oh for fucksake, how was this meeting not over yet? She dropped the remote control down on the coffee table and started wandering around his apartment. Finally, she got herself a cup of tea and went out on the balcony. It was freezing, but she kind of liked it. Standing there, looking down on the city with a cup of tea warming her hands was nice. She’d just taken her first sip, when she heard a soft thud behind her. Mmmm, he was back.

“Hey, Babe, I was just about to call y…” she began to say while turning around.

The words died on her tongue when she saw the distinctly non-Loki type person standing directly behind her, regarding her with far more interest than she felt was warranted. Darcy backed up until she could feel the railing pressing across her spine, and her eyes widened as she regarded the man currently mentally undressing her. 

She absently noted that he was very pretty in a tousled sandy curls, lithe golden body sort of way. She mentally checked off his weird as fuck attire as she simultaneously looked for an escape route. Head full of floppy hair and a crown-thing made of leaves? Check. Weather-inappropriate toga looking thing? Check. Ridiculously well-muscled bare legs ending in equally weather-inappropriate gold sandals with wings on them? Check, check. Wait. What?

Oh fuck. Oh fuck, and shit, and everything bad. She knew _exactly_ who this guy was. If Loki came back right now, someone was totally going to die, because the unfairly pretty chocolate brown eyes currently staring into hers belonged to none other than Hermes.

Well, this day had gotten fuck-all complicated in short order. “Um...hey,” she said eloquently, wiggling the fingers of one hand at him nervously.

He smiled, showing off an inordinate amount of perfect, white teeth. “If it isn’t 1167 C Parker Avenue,” he said, grin growing with every word. “You _have_ been a difficult little supplicant to track down. Although, if I may say, it was well-worth the chase.”

He went straight back to eye-fucking her. Awesome. 

“Yeah, about that…” Darcy cleared her throat and glanced from side to side, trying to determine if she could make a break for the door. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, because I'm sure you're super-popular and all, but the whole calling you thing was an accident. I sort of already worship at another shrine, if you catch my drift.”

“Do you?” Hermes asked, taking a step closer. “How very unfortunate. Perhaps we could remedy that. I’ve been told that I have a gift for persuasion.”

“That’s a really nice offer, but I’m good, thanks. Maybe you could go check in on a more willing supplicant or whatever. I’m pretty sure you could find tons of girls who would be totally happy to have you stalk their balconies in New York. It’s super-populated.” Good, good, just keep him talking, don’t make any sudden movements, and pray that he leaves before Loki comes back and decides to demolish a city block with this guy’s face.

Hermes seemed less than impressed with her suggestion. Darcy desperately wished that she had thought to bring something a little bit more dangerous than just a cup of tea out here with her. Like her taser. Although...did they work as well on Greek Gods as they did on Norse ones? Someone ought to have done a study. She totally would have read it. 

“Do you like music, mortal?” He cocked his head at her, and pulled some sort of curvy stringed instrument from the freaky, golden man-purse hanging at his hip.

She shrugged. “Depends on the music. Anyway, I’ve got lots of stuff to do, and I’m sure you are really busy with whatever godly messengers do, so I’m just gonna go inside and we can pretend all this never happened.”

Darcy tried to step around him, and he immediately blocked her with his body. Oh for the love of… Why was she such a magnet for trouble lately? I mean, what were the odds that she could go her whole life without a single immortal mishap, and then in the space of three years, she’d practically been inundated with the supernatural and/or completely fucking weird? The Fates totally had some explaining to do. 

Meanwhile, Hermes had begun to play his lyre or whatever it was and… Wait. Hold up just one second. Was that _dubstep_? How the fuck was he playing dubstep on a lyre? It didn’t even make sense. You literally cannot get electronic drumbeats out of a stringed instrument. Except that somehow, he was. Just…really??? Hermes was a hipster. She couldn’t even get her head wrapped around it. Although, the man had chops. That was the best bass drop she’d ever heard, like _ever_.

In fact, the song was pretty damn intriguing. Darcy found herself moving closer to him in a very scary, totally involuntary sort of way. It was like her brain knew she was doing it, but her body didn’t give a shit what her brain was saying.

“You don’t want to do this,” Darcy murmured, through the haze starting to cloud her brain.

The fleet-footed god in front of her just laughed. “Oh, I’m rather sure I do. Furthermore, I’m rather sure you do too. Don’t you? Just a few more steps, little supplicant, and you will discover how very gratifying worshipping at the Temple of Hermes can be.”

Darcy fought his creepy musical roofie with everything inside of her, focusing her whole being on her feelings for Loki. “No, really,” she said, feet betraying her as she took another step forward, “my boyfriend will blast your be-winged ass right back to Mount Olympus. He’s one seriously dangerous motherfucker. You do _not_ want to mess with him. I mean it.”

“You worry for my safety? How very quaint. Let me assure you, Parker Avenue, whomever your boyfriend is, he is no match for me.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that, asshole,” Darcy retorted, watching a tell-tale green shimmer of magic begin to form directly behind Hermes with a mix of dread and relief. “If I were you, I’d make like a tree and leave, because in about three seconds, you are going to be a smear on this balcony.”

The shimmer was quickly materializing into Loki, and as he became fully corporeal just over Hermes left shoulder, Darcy raised her hand to wave. “Hey baby, did you have a nice meeting? As you can probably see, we have company. Try not to break New York with him, okay? Also, I realize this is technically my fault, but I seriously asked him to leave like three times now, so that totally has to count for something, right?”

Loki froze, eyes rapidly flicking back and forth from Darcy to the dead-man on his balcony. Hermes still didn’t seem to realize just how very deep the shit he had wandered into was. She almost felt bad for him as he obliviously continued doing the whole dubstep-via-lyre trick. 

At this point, Loki had completely worked it all out, and he was looking hella murderous. Darcy watched while his armor shivered into place all over his body. Uhhhhhn, he looked so hot. So very, very sexy while contemplating killing another god on his terrace. What the actual fuck was wrong with her anyway? She should not be so turned on by this.

Faster than her eyes could follow, Loki’s hand whipped out and caught Hermes around the back of the neck. The baby-faced god’s feet kicked helplessly as they dangled a foot off the ground while Loki held him aloft from behind. The lyre clattered to the floor, and Darcy sighed in relief as the cloying club music ground to a halt.

“Will Zeus totally toast us if you kill him?” she asked. “Because I don’t really want to get lightning bolted or whatever for causing the death of his bike messenger.”

“Be still, Darcy,” Loki snapped back in a low, dangerous voice.

Hermes' jaw dropped as soon as he heard Loki’s voice, and she actually saw him mouth the words, _Oh. Shit._ Then he glared at Darcy. “Your boyfriend is _Loki_?” he rasped out in a choked voice.

“I warned you,” she said, looking at him sadly. “I said you didn’t want to mess with him, but nooooo, you just had to try and date rape me with your hipster-rave musical skills.”

The Greek God raised his hands in a gesture of surrender, and tried to turn his head so he could face Loki. “My apologies, Trickster. I had no idea this mortal was your pet."

Darcy winced. That was totally the wrong thing to say. Loki spun around and slammed Hermes face first into the wall, brick and concrete tumbling and bouncing to floor of the balcony. 

Then he leaned his full weight on him, bringing his lips close to one godly ear. “Her name is Darcy. And she is not my _pet_ ," he hissed malevolently. "This woman is under _my_ protection. She. Is. Mine. Do you understand?"

The air around them was suddenly arctic. Way colder than the normal Manhattan in December temperature. Darcy’s whole body began to shiver violently, and her teeth clacked together in an almost painful way. The mug of tea dropped from her shaking fingers and shattered. Loki’s cape began to stir eerily around him even though there was no breeze. In the realm of bad omens, Darcy figured this ranked kind of high.

He pulled Hermes free of the wall, and more debris crashed to the ground at his feet. Just as quickly, Loki shoved him back into it, this time back first. The formerly handsome god certainly looked worse for wear. Blood streamed from a gash in his forehead, and she was no doctor, but it totally looked like one of his cheekbones was broken. 

Loki’s back was still to her, his broad shoulders hiding everything but Hermes face. The battered Greek God fixed his eyes beseechingly on hers. “Please,” he whimpered.

Really? He was asking _her_ for help? Ugh. Fine. “Loki,” she said, tentatively walking forward and laying a hesitant hand on his vambrace, “he’s really not worth an intergalactic incident with the Olympians. Seriously. I think he’s learned his lesson. Haven’t you?” She directed the last at Hermes.

Loki had averted his face from her the moment he heard her coming up behind him, so she had no idea what he was thinking, but Hermes looked utterly contrite.

“Yes,” he said. “Come Loki, we have always been friends. You know I would never have approached her, had I known she was yours.” 

A tremor went through Loki’s whole body, and Hermes looked even more terrified. “Tell me, you pathetic, winged errand-boy, what is to stop me from gutting you right here?” he asked Hermes, sliding a dagger out of its hiding place under his armor.

Loki pressed the point of the blade down on Hermes' sternum, and a small dot of red formed on his toga. Snowflakes began to swirl around them, gathering until the two men were almost a blur behind a blizzard of white.

“Please,” Darcy whispered, her fingers tightening on his arm. “Please Loki, you aren’t this guy anymore. He’s not worth throwing everything away over. Don’t do this.”

For a moment, nothing happened. Then the snowflakes stopped blowing and held themselves suspended in the air. 

Loki’s head bowed, and he let out a great shuddering breath before abruptly dropping Hermes. “Go!,” he said in a voice like a whip-crack. “Before I change my mind.”

Hermes darted to the rail of the balcony, leaping up to the top of it and disappearing into the air. Loki placed one palm flat on the wall and dropped forward, horns of his helmet grating against the rough concrete.

“Hey,” Darcy said, sliding her hand up to his shoulder in concern. “He’s gone. I’m fine. It’s okay, Loki.”

He roughly shook her hand off. “Go inside, Darcy. Do not touch me again.”

“What? Why?” She tried to wriggle between him and the wall, but he held her off with a vice-like grip.

“Darcy, I am begging you, for your own safety, go upstairs to Anthony and Pepper. _Now_.” Loki had his whole body twisted away from her, and his chest was heaving harshly.

“No.” She tried pull her arm free. “Why are you being like this?”

He turned to face her then, and she gasped. Loki had gone full-on Jötunn in his fury.

“Because,” he said, crimson eyes burning into hers, “I want you very, very badly right now, and if I take you in this state, you are going to to get hurt.”

She opened her mouth, to plead or protest, she wasn’t really sure. He jerked away from the wall and towered over her, radiating menace and sexual energy.

“Do you not understand me? You. Will. Get. Hurt.”

Jesus Christ. Fangs. Loki had _fangs_. She stood there, mesmerized by his blue skin and red gaze.

He looked positively desperate. Like he was clinging to any shred of control he could find. Darcy couldn’t think, couldn’t move, couldn’t even breathe.

He closed his eyes for second, and his whole body twitched. Then he leaned down so his face was directly in front of hers, and snarled just one word at her. “ _Run!_ ”

She did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, we had a massive storm here and my internet is totally down. I had to connect my phone to the iPad like an animal just to get this posted. No lie. Everyone cross their fingers that it is up tomorrow, or I might start setting stuff on fire.
> 
> Tuesday Morning Update: You guys... YOU GUYS!!!! My internet is STILL down!!!! I'mma cry. (flailing) Supposedly, it is getting fixed later, but I had intended to post this morning, and I can't. No one panic. And to answer some questions in the comments: Yes, Hermes is not a nice guy...at all, Loki won't freeze her-a commenter actually guessed what is up (but I'm not going to spoil the surprise), Darcy didn't run because she was afraid - she ran because he told her to run, and I promise I have a plan to make this all okay.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think it's about time we met some Olympians, don't you? All hail the Sun God!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People!!! I got my internet back!!!! 
> 
>  
> 
> You have no idea how happy I am. If you could have seen me hunched over my first gen iPad last night with it connected to my phone trying to post that chapter... I swear to you, I would be utterly useless in a zombie invasion. 
> 
> Me: Is there internet? 
> 
> Carl : No, but we have pudding. 
> 
> Me: Uhhhhh, yeah, I'll just be over here feeding myself to some zombies. Nice meeting you, Carl.
> 
> Okay, maybe it wouldn't go exactly like that, but I'm so happy my interwebs are back. :D
> 
> *********************************************************

********Meanwhile, Back on Mount Olympus********

Hermes stumbled gracelessly as he landed with a loud thud in Demeter’s olive grove. The moment he touched down on home soil, the wounds on his body healed, and within seconds he was pacing around muttering furiously. The muttering was overheard by Eros, who popped his head out from between the branches of the tree he was sitting in to get a better look.

“What the hell happened to you, Hermes?” Eros gestured towards the lyre in Hermes hands, and blinked his blue eyes in astonishment. “Is that what I think it is? FYI, your brother is _totally_ going to kick your ass when he finds out you took his lyre.” 

Hermes shot him an annoyed glance. “And how exactly do you think he would find out unless you tell him? I have no wish to die, and I assume you do not either,” he threatened.

Eros rolled his eyes and swung slightly from his knees where they were hooked around a curved branch. “Please, like I’m going to run off and tattle to Apollo. I practically invented secrets. God of Love, here. Secret affairs? Clandestine meetings? Hidden trysts? I am a master at keeping my mouth shut. You, however, tend to do things in a very big way. Who’s the unlucky girl this time?”

The irritated god refused to answer, choosing instead to stomp around the clearing in a white-hot fury. Eros just watched him in silence. Hermes had clearly gotten his immortal butt into some serious trouble. The God of Love had observed his less than perfect dismount from the air, and had seen all the damage to his body. Eros made a mental note to keep a closer eye on Hermes. It was apparent by the fact that he’d stolen the lyre that he’d been off trying to seduce some poor woman, and it was also clear that his seduction had not gone well.

This intrigued Eros. There weren’t many people who could best a god. In fact, when it came right down to the nitty gritty of immortal ass-kicking, it pretty much took another god to inflict any real damage. So, this meant that Hermes had gotten into fisticuffs with some other immortal. Weird. Who could it possibly… Oh. Zeus’ golden beard…he hadn’t. Even Hermes wasn’t that stupid. Was he?

“Hermes, please tell me that this did not involve Loki.”

Silence.

“Seriously, Hermes, you are not that big of a fool, are you?”

The silence became even more suspicious, and Hermes began glaring off into the distance towards Earth.

Eros sighed, and shook his head, setting the chestnut curls tumbling around his face. Sweet mother of Persephone, why did Hermes _insist_ on falling for the very last girls in the universe that he should be interested in? As the God of Love, he was all about star-crossed romances, but the winged-wonder here had zero sense when it came to choosing people on whom to bestow his affections. Eros had offered to help numerous times, and had always been rebuffed for his trouble. Even Aphrodite had tried to get involved to no avail. Although his mother did enjoy hooking up with Hermes…for reasons Eros didn’t even want to think about.

Twisting himself upright on the branch, Eros dug a pair of binoculars out of a leather pouch hanging nearby and trained them on Earth.

Well…fuck. Hermes had royally screwed things up, hadn’t he? The girl was with the strange sometimes metal man and his mate, crying…and Loki… Loki was blue. Very blue. Very blue, and very angry. Eros began to get pretty damn irate himself. He’d been watching these two. In all his years of bringing the sugar to mortals and immortals alike, he’d never seen anything quite like the relationship between the Norse God of Mischief, and the tiny, curvaceous spitfire of a human girl. They didn’t even need his help, which was really saying something.

Eros had always liked Loki. Oh true, he had a bad habit of letting the darker side of his nature overwhelm him in the worst possible ways sometimes, but he was also funny as hell, and completely damaged. The girl had been fixing that. Ever since Loki had met her, he’d been different, better…happy even. 

Eros briefly considered sticking an arrow straight through Hermes’ stupid head. He could not have been more exasperated with his friend. Of all the shit things to do, he had to get in the way of that relationship. Instead of an arrow, he grabbed a handful of raw olives and lobbed them directly at Hermes’ thick skull.

The olives made little thunking sounds as they hit, and bounced off harmlessly to the ground. Hermes whipped around and flipped Eros a very rude gesture. Eros rolled his eyes. “Why her?” he asked. “I mean, there are tons of pretty mortal girls. Why go after Darcy Lewis?”

“Is that her surname?” Hermes asked, eyes going all crafty.

“Stop being such a prick, Hermes. You’ve already had your ass handed to you once, and let me tell you this, if you interfere with them again, I’ll take you out myself.”

Hermes snorted and waved his hand at Eros’ slender frame. “You are welcome to try, Cherub.”

Eros had just about had it. He dropped out of the tree, landing squarely on the balls of his feet, fists clenched. “Is that an invitation, bitch?”

Just then they were interrupted by a cacophony of horses and hooves, and Apollo appeared in their midst driving his golden chariot. He looked livid. Hermes went white under his perpetual tan.

“HERMES!” Apollo bellowed, springing from the chariot. “What hast thou done now!”

Hermes tried ineffectually to stuff the lyre back into his bag before Apollo saw it. 

“And now thou art trying to deceive me. Brother, do not increase my ire.” The Sun God stepped forward and held his hand out for the lyre. Hermes sighed and handed it over.

Eros lounged back against the tree he’d been hanging in. He always got such a kick out of the upper echelon Olympian Gods. They were so damn pompous. Well, except Zeus. Zeus was cool. But really, thousands of years of watching the mortals and they all ran around talking like they were still in the Byzantine. It was ridiculous. Besides, the mortal language was always getting better. Eros was particularly pleased with the word asshat. It worked for so many occasions. He'd even taught it to Zeus. 

Hermes was now glaring defiantly at Apollo who was frowning and tuning his poor, misused instrument. "What hast thou done to her?" he asked sorrowfully. "You know she cares not for that caterwauling music you favor."

"You might remember who gave you that lyre to begin with,” Hermes snapped.

“Think you that I have forgotten? It was to appease my furor after you stole my kine. Even as a babe, thou wert most untrustworthy.”

“Apollo, seriously, we are not your acolytes. Stop using the God-speak. It’s making my ears bleed,” Eros interjected.

Apollo turned his fiery gaze on Eros, and the God of Love did his level best not to flinch. To Eros' great relief, his shoulders relaxed, and he gave a small smile. “Fine. I shall moderate my speech to protect your precious ears, Eros.” Then he turned back to Hermes. “Why have you been secretly watching Loki’s mate?”

Eros’ jaw dropped. What? How long exactly had Hermes been stalking Loki’s girl?

Hermes opened his mouth to protest, and Apollo held up a shining hand to cut him off. “Before you answer, brother, do try to remember that I see all from my place in the sky.”

Hermes kicked a winged sandal in the dirt at his feet. “Stop acting like my father. I was just checking her out between deliveries. She is lovely. I wish to know her better.”

“Yeah, in the biblical sense,” Eros muttered under his breath, shaking his head at Hermes.

“What is the harm in that?” Hermes practically shouted. “The mortals exist for our pleasure. She is nothing. Loki is behaving unreasonably. We could have shared her.”

Eros nearly fell over, and even Apollo looked shocked by his brother’s outburst. Then he began to laugh. “This is _Loki_ we are speaking of, think you that he would share his mate?”

“She’s not his mate,” Hermes retorted. “They have not even been hand-fasted. He is merely amusing himself with her.”

Apollo stared at Hermes as if he had lost his mind. Eros didn’t blame him. The Sun God’s brother must be blind. Whether Loki realized it yet or not, he was completely smitten with the sassy mortal. Although Eros sure hoped he realized it soon, because if he didn’t, the relationship was going to detonate in a big way.

“Did the part where he said ‘She is mine’ escape your notice, Hermes?” Apollo shook his head in exasperation. “You meddle in affairs that will get you killed. Or worse, you may begin a war with Asgard. What shall I say to our father when Odin comes calling demanding retribution for the mistreatment of his son?”

“Odin’s sons are banished,” Hermes said sulkily. 

“Hermes, you are an idiot,” Eros replied. “Despite their estrangement, Odin would be overjoyed to know that his youngest son had found love.”

“Odin is destined for disappointment then, as is his son.” Hermes lifted off the ground and stormed around in the air. “I doubt Darcy still holds affection for Loki after beholding his true form. You saw him,” he hissed at Apollo. “What girl would want a monster like that?”

“That girl does,” Eros answered mildly. “I can hear her thoughts. She loves him. _All_ aspects of him. In fact…” He cocked his head and appeared to be intently listening. “She is quite intrigued by his Jötunn form.” Eros almost blushed at what was currently running through Darcy’s head. If he didn’t already have his beloved Psyche, he might have been interested in the lusty human himself. She did have such marvelous breasts. Loki was a lucky man.

Apollo turned to Eros, eyebrows raised in disbelief. “She wishes to lay with him in his Jötunn form?” 

Eros smiled. “She does. Quite implicitly, in fact.”

“Then the girl is a fool.” Hermes made an expression of disgust. “His touch alone would kill her.”

“You are wrong, Hermes,” Apollo replied, clucking his tongue. “I saw him touch her after you departed, and she remained unharmed.”

Hermes gaped. “How is that possible? We all know what the touch of a Frost Giant can do.”

“Loki is no ordinary Frost Giant, and Darcy Lewis is no ordinary girl,” a melodic voice answered, and Psyche fluttered into their midst on butterfly wings. “Hello my love,” she said to Eros. “I have been searching all Olympus for you. You promised to bed me this afternoon.”

“He beds you _every_ afternoon,” Hermes snorted, lightly dropping back down to the ground.

“As well he should,” Psyche answered sweetly. “Perhaps you would be less inclined towards pursuing the loves of others if you found one for yourself, Hermes,” she gently scolded

Eros beamed at his beautiful wife. Typical Psyche, cutting straight to the heart of matter, so to speak. Hermes _did_ need to find his counterpart. Although, who that person could possibly be still eluded Eros. He made a mental note to work harder on it.

Psyche slipped her fingers through his and began tugging him from the clearing. “I long for you,” she whispered in his ear. “Let Apollo deal with his wayward brother, and allow your wife to soothe you. It troubles me to see you so upset.”

Soothing sounded fantastic. Eros felt like it was _exactly_ what he needed. “Glade, cloud, or bed?” he asked her, knowing full well that he was grinning like a fool and not caring one whit.

She appeared to be contemplating the choices, which was charmingly amusing to Eros, as she always answered the same thing. 

“I cannot seem to choose,” Psyche finally answered, giving him an open, innocent gaze that didn’t fool him for a second. “Perhaps we should try all three.”

Oh how he loved her. “I love you.” He lifted her hand to brush a kiss over her knuckles.

She smiled archly at him. “I know.”

“Gentlemen,” Eros said, giving the other two a sweeping bow, “I take my leave of you to consort with my lovely wife. Hermes, please try to be less of an asshat while I’m gone.”

And with that, he led Psyche off to find a convenient glade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *fetching the matches*
> 
> The internet. Is down. Again.
> 
> I am totally stabby. All I can say is that my provider better show up here with a gift-wrapped Tom Hiddleston bearing chocolate and flowers, or they are going to learn the meaning of pain via fire.
> 
> Wednesday Morning Update: 
> 
> A technician is coming out to make the internet happen his afternoon. I can't post until things are fixed, but do not fret, the chapter is ready to go. :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce is awesome. No, seriously you guys, Banner is the man. And, while we are on the subject, so are Tony and Pepper. Well, Pepper isn't the man, per se, because that would be weird. Let's just say that Pepper is amazing. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Bad news first. My internet connection is STILL not up. The guy came, and it turns out that the entire neighborhood is screwed up and that will take a whole other type of technician. Sigh. However, I am nothing if not persistent. You people are getting your chapter today. Do you want to know how much I appreciate all of you? Enough to connect my phone to the PC and deal with a wonky connection just so I can give you something to read. I know some of you are sending me asks on tumblr, because I can see them in my email. And trust me, I am dying to answer them. But trying to manage the gif filled wonder that is my tumblr dashboard on this sort of connection is hellish, and so I can't get to them. I promise that I see you there, lovely tumblr followers. I'm going to answer you all on Friday. (they assure me that this nonsense will be sorted by then)  
> RESULT! RESULT! I got the internet up myself! I am AWESOME!!!!
> 
> Also, look what GreenFairy13 got me:  
> 
> 
> **********************************************************

*****Stark Tower, Earlier that Same Day*****

Tony Stark was at a loss. It was an almost entirely novel sensation, as he could easily count the amount of times he’d felt this way before on one of his incredibly talented hands. He positively hated it. Thank God for Pepper, because when Darcy Lewis had showed up on his doorstep sobbing hysterically about stalky Greek gods and angry blue boyfriends, Tony had just stood there with his mouth hanging open wishing he'd thought to include a wet bar in his foyer.

Somehow, Pepper knew just what to do. She promptly steered Darcy to the couch in his study, and shooed Tony off get them all some stiff drinks and ice cream. Half a bottle of his second best scotch later, and he sort of had a better understanding of what had happened. Not that understanding it made it any less fucking weird, but wasn’t weird lately?

Oh, and had he mentioned that directly after Darcy arrived, there was the sound of massive boom somewhere beneath them, which J.A.R.V.I.S. immediately identified as a blast of telekinetic energy? Tony was relatively confident about just who had caused said blast, and he’d be damned if he was going to pay for the contractors just because Loki had some supernatural hissy-fit in his building. Again.

So, anyway, here they all were, sitting around his study cozy as you please, as if there wasn’t an angry, potentially frosty Norse God doing fuck knows what three floors below them. Tony sighed. He missed the days of regular old terrorists who didn’t come from other planets with enough emotional baggage to outfit a visiting delegation.

He was also completely furious that some wing-shod Greek freak had shown up on his turf and tried to get handsy with Darcy. Tony liked Darcy. Darcy might be mouthy, and her taste in men was completely mystifying, but despite that, she was good people. Also, she was fluent in the language of snark, and he couldn’t help but appreciate hearing his native tongue spoken by girl with such an impressive ra… Tony cleared his throat. Best not linger on those thoughts. Loki had apparently nearly skinned the last guy who did.

Speaking of that guy, what the hell was up with that? Hermes sounded like a complete douchecanoe. Wait until Fury found out that all those Greek motherfuckers were real. His good eye would bulge so hard it might pop right out. Tony hoped he’d be able to catch the moment on his phone. It would be youtube gold.

Once Darcy had finished explaining what had happened, Tony began to formulate a plan. First off, he had no idea what sort of crazy shit was currently going on Loki’s apartment, nor did he know what state of mind Reindeer Games might be in. What he did know was that the man felt he was out of control enough to send Darcy up to someone who regularly wore a metal suit with shoulder mounted rocket launchers. That gave Tony a pretty clear picture that Loki wasn't safe to be around at the moment. 

There was no way he was letting Darcy go back down there, and he certainly wasn't going to leave her on her own at her place, and he told her so. After a bit of an argument where he had a brief, terrifying glimpse of what fatherhood might be like, Tony had managed to convince Darcy to move into one of their guest rooms for the time being. 

Stark also knew someone needed to go talk to Loki, and he felt utterly unqualified. His iron clad alter-ego wasn’t so much a scary, hidden embarrassment as it was a fucking amazing, recognizable symbol of all that was awesome. What he needed was a person who would get Loki’s tortured, self-deprecating, navel gazing. Natasha might work, but she still held a grudge against their resident Goth Lord of the Sith for whatever shit had gone down on the helicarrier. Clint was no good, because he had no actual public persona, since the sharpshooter was pretty much entirely secret alter ego. 

It was around that time that Tony’s brain latched onto the one person who probably _would_ get whatever Loki was going through. Although putting this person and an agitated Loki in the same room might be like coating a powder keg in lighter fluid and then playing with a pack of matches while sitting on top of it. Tony shrugged. What choice did he have, really? Someone had to sort this shit, because he could only deal with a sobbing twenty-something girl interrupting his extremely private home life with Pepper for so long.

Decision made, Tony excused himself from the room and went off to call Bruce Banner.

*****An Hour Later*****

Banner arrived at Loki’s apartment already braced for what he might find. The door was hanging halfway off its hinges, and he could see the scattered remains what had once been some pretty swanky furniture littering the room. He picked his way around bits of couch and coffee table, feeling slightly relieved that if he did lose his cool, at least everything was already more or less destroyed. 

“Loki? It’s Bruce. Tony sent me over to talk to you. Listen, try not to do that whole appearing out of thin air thing if you can help it, because the big guy’s already on edge. One good shock and he’s going to want to come out and play.”

For a few seconds, the apartment remained silent. Banner was just turning to leave when he heard something that sounded like metal scraping against brick coming from the direction of the balcony. 

Bruce headed over that way, and found Loki sitting on the ground with his back up against the concrete wall looking utterly bereft. Banner had been prepared for angry, he had been prepared for blue, what he hadn’t been prepared for was broken, but that was exactly how the God of Mischief looked. Broken.

Loki barely acknowledged the other man's presence, merely glancing up at him and then looking away.

Bruce quietly sat down across from him and began to speak. “I heard you had some pretty heavy stuff going on here earlier. Want to talk about it?”

Loki closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. “Do you truly think that would help?”

Banner shrugged. “Maybe not, but it couldn’t hurt,” he said practically. "Besides, I'm already here, and what else do you have going on right now other than sitting here working on your self-loathing?"

There was a deep, weary exhalation from the God sitting across the balcony, and then Loki said, "You seem familiar with the prospect."

Bruce scratched his neck and smiled cynically. "Yeah, you could say I've made a bit of a study of it."

"Has it ever driven you to attempt world domination?" Loki asked dryly.

"No, I tend to internalize. Although, if you want my opinion, I think that whole world domination thing was a cry for help. Either that, or possibly a suicide attempt. Not that I'm excusing it, but of everyone at Shield, I'm probably the only one who might understand it."

Loki looked off into the distance for a moment, and Bruce could see a muscle in his jaw twitching. "Is she alright?"

It was clear who he was speaking about. "She seems okay. A little shaken up about the whole Hermes thing. Pepper has her all set up in a guest room for as long as she needs it."

“She fears me." The God of Mischief was still gazing off at some point on the horizon and there was nearly no inflection in his voice. "She saw the monster inside, and she ran.”

Bruce nodded. “Yeah. I hear you there. The whole people running away from you part is never easy. But, and forgive me if I misunderstood, Tony made it out like you _told_ her to run. You can’t fault a girl for listening.”

Loki’s eyes widened. “You think I blame Darcy? Never. If you knew what sort of state I was in, how I felt at that moment.” He shuddered. “She was in danger. From _me_. Tell me, Banner, how much do you know of my true race?”

“Just what I’ve read from the various Eddas and what Thor told me. Big, blue, somewhat aggressive, limited ability to play well with others…that sort of thing.”

Loki gave a sardonic smile. “All true, and yet you haven’t even scratched the surface. I am inherently possessive, it is a strong part of my nature even in my Asgardian form. However when I revert to my birth race, that tendency to mark and claim what is mine increases tenfold. And Darcy is mine. Do you see now why I had to make her run? What Hermes intended to do to her was nothing compared to what I could have done. _Wanted_ to do. I am a monster.”

Banner chewed on the side of his cheek, thinking. “Well, I don’t know much about Jötunn sexual habits, but do know about monsters. I certainly wouldn’t want to unleash the green guy on any unsuspecting female. First off, he’s massive, and I don’t mean to be indelicate, but that massiveness is an all-over sort of thing. Secondly, he’s not exactly great at thinking things through or examining consequences. You though, Loki, you seem like a guy who has a handle on the potential consequences of your actions at all times. And the fact that you were able to send her away tells me that you probably aren’t as dangerous to her as you think you are.”

Loki shot him a furious look and leapt to his feet, striding back and forth in front of the sliding glass doors. “You have no idea how dangerous I am to her. None. You were not here to see it.”

“Whoa there,” Banner said, holding his hands up. “You're going to need to bring it down a couple notches, because the big guy is starting to wonder what the hell is going on out here. You really don’t want him to decide to come out and check. _I_ really don’t want him to come out and check either. He isn’t your biggest fan.”

It was clear that Loki was remembering his brief stint as a living rag doll. He abruptly stopped pacing and stood still, the only sign of his internal war was the sight of fists clenching repeatedly by his sides. “It is not just what I could have done, Banner,” he snapped. “My appearance terrified her as well. I could see it.”

“Actually,” Bruce began and then stopped to clear his throat, “I talked to Darcy for a few minutes when Tony called earlier. According to her, and I’m quoting here…please understand these are not my words… you are a stone cold blue fox in your Jötunn form.”

Well. That certainly got his attention. Loki almost choked. “What?”

“Like I said, not my words, hers. So your assumption that she finds that side of you unattractive appears to be unfounded. And frankly, I’d rather not think about you and Darcy in that way, no matter what color you are. No offense, it’s just a personal preference that I don’t have those images in my head for our green friend to peruse.” Bruce watched Loki warily. He still seemed completely stunned. “She also mentioned something about your cold tongue that I am not going to repeat. I’m sure you can use your imagination."

“Are you saying that she wants me…” Loki paused, jaw tensing. “…like _that?_ ”

“From what I gathered, she wasn’t adverse to it,” Bruce said, "You know Loki, if I found a girl who could love me despite the monster, I would consider myself pretty lucky. Although it sounds like in your case, she doesn't think you're a monster at all. If I were you, I'd consider the value in that very carefully."

Loki sat back down. Actually, it was more like his legs collapsed underneath him, but the end result was the same. Bruce waited a few minutes for him to say something, but it seemed like he was completely lost in his own head. Not that he could blame the man. Whatever happened earlier had sounded like a really bad scene, and top it off, it had brought out some long standing issues from Loki's past. It seemed like the kindest thing to do was to go and let him work through it.

Banner stood up and brushed off his pants. “Look, it seems like you have a lot to think about, and for what it’s worth, I think you should talk to Darcy about it instead of holing up down here. I know that hiding seems like a good idea right now, but it's not exactly fair to her. Regardless of the outcome, she has a right to be heard. Darcy’s a special girl. We all like her, and she seems to really like you. Take care with her, Loki.”

The shell-shocked god lifted his head. “I will.”

“Good. ” Bruce frowned, looking at the wrecked furniture in the house. “Would you like me to call someone to come and clean this all up for you?” he asked hesitantly, not sure if that would fall under a maid service or a demolition expert. He’d had to hire both in the past to restore his own house.

Loki flicked his wrist at the rooms beyond the doorway. The furniture reformed as if it had never been broken. 

Banner gave an impressed whistle. “I don’t suppose you’d consider hiring those services out, would you? They’d certainly come in handy after the big guy visits.”

“You will find my number in your phone, avail yourself of it as needed,” Loki replied. “And Doctor Banner?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. It is surprising, but I believe this may actually have helped.” 

Bruce leaned back and stuck his hands in his pockets. “I’m glad, and you’re welcome. Monster talk is sort of my wheelhouse.”

“Indeed. Until next time then.”

Banner gave Loki a small salute and walked out of the apartment, hoping for Darcy’s sake that he’d just done the right thing. If not, he’d never forgive himself, and he already felt like he had too much he was unable to forgive himself for already.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feels. That's pretty much it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the Loki x Darcy feels. You guys, anyone who wants to sit over here in in this glass case of emotion with me is is totally welcome.
> 
>  
> 
> ***********************************************************  
> 

Three days. That’s how long it had been since Darcy had seen or heard from Loki.

She was going to kill him. Well, first she was going to find him. _Then_ she was going to kill him. With an exasperated sigh, she rolled over in her temporary bed at the topmost floor of Stark Towers and punched her pillow. 

He was just being an ass. She knew that was all it was. He’d gone blue, freaked out, and now he was being a complete idiot about it. Or, and she really did not want to think of this, because it was breaking her heart, he’d decided to end things and his way of doing that was to completely disappear.

A tear rolled down her cheek. She hated this bed. It was too big, and too comfortable, and it didn’t smell a thing like Loki. For the three hundredth time in just as many minutes, she checked her phone. You know, just in case he had called or texted. Even though she’d already made sure his ringtone and text alert were turned all the way up, they could have malfunctioned. You never knew with phones. 

Nothing. Not a word from the stupid, stubborn, broody-ass Jötunn man that she loved. Right. She was totally going to kill him. Darcy flung the phone across the room, where it landed on a plush loveseat with a soft plop. Fuck him. Let him call. Darcy wasn’t answering.

Two seconds later she was out of bed and retrieving the phone. He might call. He might, and if the phone was all the way over there, it could go to voicemail before she answered.

It was then that she realized she had become one of _those_ girls. You know, the crying at three am, staring hysterically at a phone willing it to ring, simultaneously planning reunions and revenge kind of girls. It was simply unacceptable. She refused. She would not be one of those girls.

She hated him. Seriously. Maybe he would get eaten by a bilge snipe.

God , she loved him. Where _was_ he? What if he was getting eaten by a bilge snipe?

Nope. She hated him and wished he were dead. And she wished Hermes was twice as dead. For the next twenty minutes, Darcy amused herself by imagining all ways in which she could kill Hermes. Slowly lowering him into a vat of boiling oil was ranking way up there. She wondered if he’d beg for mercy. Not that he would get any, that's for sure.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to throw things. She wanted to march out onto the balcony and pitch all the stupid pillows on this stupid bed down onto the street below. However, she was not allowed out on the balcony. No, really. Tony had _forbidden_ it. Her windows were on lockdown too. It didn’t matter to Tony that she had explained gods didn’t really need unlocked windows or doors to get in. He’d just muttered something about how he was never, ever having children, and then had J.A.R.V.I.S. seal the place up.

She rolled over, pulled the duvet over her head, and screamed into the mattress.

*************************************************

Loki watched her from across the room. He watched as she tossed and turned restlessly in the bed. Watched as she checked her phone over, and over. Watched as she cried.

He watched. And hated himself.

What had he done to her? He was a monster. 

It was never supposed to get this far. Never. He had only intended it to be a bit of fun for the both of them. Something casual, to temper the boredom of being banished to Midgard. What he hadn't counted on, was how much he would come to enjoy being with her.

He had liked Darcy immediately when they met. She was funny, and quirky, and the only person at Shield who told him off for what happened with the Chitauri. No one else had the courage…or possibly the sheer, blinding insanity, to do such a thing. It had stunned him so much that he had apologized, and she’d accepted. In fact, she’d forgiven him, and then completely let it go.

No one else had. Even after all these months, they still held him at arm’s length. Not that he minded that entirely, but it would have been nice if some of his more recent efforts had been acknowledged with a bit more gratitude. Everyone still treated him more or less like a pariah.

Darcy had no idea why she was Fury’s first choice as the agent to be paired up with Loki. In fact, she was his _only_ choice. That infuriated Loki to no end. It meant that Nicholas considered Darcy expendable enough that she could be left to the tender mercies of a known threat while the powers that be at Shield determined if Loki was actually going to play by the rules. 

Darcy had tackled it with the same bravado and forthrightness that she did everything else. Right from day one, when she basically told him that if he ever tried anything she would kick his ass from one side of the city to the other. She trusted him, and she joked with him, and she treated him as an equal even though he kept telling her they were hardly equals because of his station and birthright.

Now he knew how very wrong he’d been. Darcy was so far above him, that he had no idea how he could ever begin to aspire to her.

Truthfully, he didn’t even know if he should. What right did he have to this brilliant, beautiful mortal creature? For her sake, it would probably be best if he left. Banishment from Asgard didn’t mean there were not other worlds where he could easily live in relative comfort.

Of course, that would mean living without her. Loki thought it would be better to remain invisible and near her, than seek out a life for himself somewhere else where she was not. It was the right thing to do though. He knew that. It was right, and selfless.

Loki had never been any good at being selfless. 

So he watched Darcy as she finally emerged from under the duvet. Her cheeks were flushed, hair rumpled beyond belief, and she was scowling furiously. He thought she'd never looked more beautiful.

Bruce had told him to talk to her. Loki supposed there was no harm in talking. She deserved that, at least. 

He tried very hard to tell himself that his need to talk to her had nothing to do with the fact that he missed her desperately, as he crossed the room to the bed. It was definitely not borne from a crushing desire to hear her voice, and feel her touch, he continued to lie to himself as he slid under the blankets, and pulled her into his arms. It wasn't until Darcy turned, and without a single word of recrimination, buried her face in his chest and sobbed, that he finally admitted to himself it was because he loved her with every single fiber of his being.

***************************************************

It was hot under the duvet. Hot and suffocating. Darcy flipped over onto her back and yanked the blanket off of her face. Then she rolled to face the nightstand. She told herself it was not because she wanted to see if he’d called and she’d missed it, which she knew was a total lie.

As she lay there, staring off into the darkness of the room, she wondered what Loki was doing right now. If he was okay. If he was thinking of her too. The more she thought about him, the more it seemed she could feel him nearby. In fact, she seriously needed to get a grip, because it was almost like she could smell him, that familiar scent of spicy mint and leather that was all Loki.

Her chest started to hitch, and she fought as hard as she could against the lump in her throat. What if he wasn’t avoiding her? What if he was hurt somewhere, or dead? What if he’d chased Hermes straight back up to Mount Olympus and they were holding him prisoner? What if she never, ever knew what happened to him? Darcy began to sniffle. The what ifs were making her eyes ache and her stomach hurt.

Right about the time the first tear streaked down her cheek, she felt the bed dip behind her. As the second tear zigzagged its way down to her ear, strong arms encircled her waist and pulled her back against a comfortingly solid body. And just before the third one dripped off the end of her nose, she turned around and fell apart in his embrace.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very important discussion is had, and decisions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! So, I am not sure if I'm going to be posting the next chapter until Monday. My weekend is going to be insane, starting in about an hour. Don't fret though, it is written and just needs to be edited. So if I get a chance, I'll try to get it up. :)
> 
> *********************************************

Loki never let go as she bawled, and hiccupped, and got snot all over the front of his shirt. He didn’t complain that she was smothering him, or tease her about being a weak, emotional mortal.

No. He just held her pressed tightly to his body, and said, “I’m sorry,” over and over into her hair.

Which, you know, made her cry even harder. 

Oh well, at least it was dark in the room. He probably couldn’t see how awful and puffy her face looked. Hopefully, anyway. Besides, she couldn’t feel too worried about all it. After spending the past three days wondering if maybe he was imprisoned or dead, a little bit of sobbing in front of him was hardly the worst thing that could have happened.

He started to pull away, and Darcy was not at all okay with that, but she quickly realized it was just so he could sit up and tuck her under his arm. She relaxed into his side, and let him cuddle her.

“I spoke with Banner,” he said quietly, pulling one of her hands into his and making complicated swirling patterns on her palm with one finger.

“He said,” she replied, “and then you disappeared for three days.”

Loki exhaled heavily. “Darcy, I _am_ sorry. For all of it. I nearly killed Hermes, I terrified you, and then I left you on your own while I went off to brood. It was cowardly.”

“Yeah, it was," she agreed. "You could have called. I thought you were dead, or that we were over...and…” She lifted her tearstained face to his. “We _aren’t_ over, are we? Because if that is where you plan on going with all this, just tell me right now. Don’t prolong it while I sit here and wonder. My heart can’t take it, Loki.” 

“Oh Darcy, no. We are absolutely not over. I know that I should probably let you go. A better man would, but I find that I am not a better man.”

She felt a deep sense of relief tinged with a decent amount of annoyance at his self-flagellation. “Stop being so tragic. You are an awesome, amazing man, and I lo…” Oh shit. Did he catch that? Darcy peeked at him, but he appeared to be doing the whole self-loathing thing, and he missed it. She would be thankful for that, but she hated when he did the self-loathing thing. 

“I wasn’t terrified, you know,” she said, trying to draw him back out of his dark mood. “I mean, the part where you yelled at me was a little scary, but that was because you were yelling, not because you were blue.”

He snorted. “Yes. My appearance had nothing to do with it, I’m sure.”

“It didn’t.”

“Bruce claimed you told him that as well. Your need to spare my feelings is admirable, but unnecessary. You will never see that side of me again if I can help it.”

Darcy was at a loss. Why didn’t he believe her? Somehow she had to make him understand, because otherwise, this whole Frost Giant thing was going to build a chasm between them. 

She swiveled around and straddled his lap, using both hands to cup his face so she could look directly into his eyes. “Loki, do you trust me?”

He gave a half-smile. “I trust that you do not wish to hurt me, and that you believe telling me that you do not fear my Jötunn form will please me.”

Darcy sighed. “That’s not the same thing, and you know it. You either trust me, or you don’t. Pick one, because I can’t…” She stopped and took a deep breath. Oh god, if this didn’t go well, it would literally rip her apart. “I can’t be with a guy who doesn’t trust me. So you need to make a decision here, or we aren’t going to work.”

His anguished green eyes scanned her face. “Darcy, do not…”

“No,” she said firmly. “You _don’t_. I've trusted you with my life on missions. I trusted you when you told me to run. I need _you_ to trust _me_ when I say there is nothing about you that frightens me. Not your age, not your past, and certainly not the fact that you were born blue. Which, by the way, was something you had no control over, and shouldn’t matter anyway because there’s nothing wrong with it.” 

“Darcy,” he said patiently, “I have seen what my Jötunn form looks like. No woman could find that attractive. Even my own brother shrinks away when he sees it.”

She made a frustrated sound. “Seriously? Do I _look_ like Thor? Because, forgive me, but I don’t see any magic hammers lying around in this room. Furthermore, I think you're the sexiest guy I have ever met, and I don’t check that attraction at the door when you happen to unleash your frosty side. In fact…” She stopped and looked away, feeling a blush begin to burn on her cheeks.

He reached up and hooked a finger under her chin, turning her face back to his. “In fact?”

Darcy worried her bottom lip between her teeth for a second while he waited. “It was really hot, alright?” she finally admitted. “ I mean, you were all different, and growly, and storming around being super aggressive while looking at me like you wanted to sex me up against the wall, and I just… I liked it, okay? I _liked_ it. Plus you’d just rescued me from Hermes, and you listened when I asked you not to kill him. You have no idea what that meant to me. I saw how enraged you were, and you just let him go...because I asked you to do it.” 

Loki had kept his watchful eyes on Darcy’s face during her entire little diatribe. They’d slowly gone from doubt, to disbelief, and then to wonder. “You truly did not fear me?”

She dropped her shoulders in exasperation. “No, you ass. If you’d been paying attention, you would have noticed that I just said I didn't.” 

“I always pay attention to you, Darcy,” he replied quietly.

“So does that mean you believe me then? Because I need you to believe me, Loki.”

He took a slow breath, in and out. “I cannot pretend to understand it, but yes, I believe you.”

“Oh,” she said, exhaling in relief. “That...that’s good. If we fell apart over this, I would have been an absolute wreck. You have no idea.”

“And you are of the opinion that I would not have been?” he asked wryly, brushing some of the loose hair back from her face. “I think you have greatly underestimated what you mean to me. Allow me to demonstrate.”

He started to lean forward towards her. Just before their lips connected, she reached a hand between them and laid her fingers over his mouth. “Wait.”

Loki drew back and quirked an eyebrow at her. “Really? I’d rather not. It has been three days after all. I want you, mortal. Quite desperately, in fact.” 

He wrapped his arms around her hips, and pulled her down against the growing hardness in his lap to show her the proof of his statement. Darcy’s body immediately responded, and it took all her resolve not to give in.

“Yeah… Um, that’s a really, really compelling argument you’ve got going on there, and I’m all for it, believe me. It’s just that I don’t think we’re done here.”

“Would it be possible for me to convince you to pick this line of thought up again afterwards?” he asked, mischievous fingers beginning to work their way under her tank top. “Because I am in a delicate state here, Darcy. And I think you are as well.”

God he was good at distracting her into getting his own way. She was already starting to melt into his touch. It suddenly occurred to her that the entire situation could be resolved easily with just one, icy-blue compromise. 

“Okay,” she acquiesced, “We’ll do it your way, but I have one condition.”

“Anything,” he replied, bending his head so he could nip at her neck. “Just name it.”

She could feel her heart beginning to thud as she prepared to make her request. “I want you to be Jötunn.”

Loki drew back immediately, face darkening with vexation. “No. That is off the table.”

“And I say it’s very much _on_ the table,” she retorted defiantly.

“Darcy, you saw what I was like. I have no intention of turning that loose that on you.”

She shrugged. “I’m not afraid.”

He gave a sharp laugh. “Only because you have no understanding of how dangerous I could be to you.”

“Why, because of what happened three days ago?” Darcy shook her head at him. “Listen Loki, I’ve been thinking about this, and I don’t think it’s fair to use that incident as the basis for how any Jötunn interaction between the two of us would go.”

That seemed to stop him in his tracks. He stared at her with reluctant curiosity. “Not that I have any intention of testing your theory, but indulge me. Why do you believe that to be the case?"

“It’s like this,” she said. “You had just come home from a stressful meeting to find another god in your territory trying to move in on your unwilling girlfriend.”

“He wasn’t just trying to move in on you, Darcy, had I not gotten there when I did, you would have been…” He paused, jaw working. “Hermes had every intention of making you his, whether you consented or not.”

“I know, and that's just my point. It’s no wonder you lost it. Most men would have. And Bruce explained the possessive Frost Giant thing to me, I get it. But we’re not in that situation right now. It is just you and me. No threats, no danger, just us. Look at me and tell me that you think you could harm me, no matter what form you were in. Because I don’t believe you could.”

“There is no guarantee that I would not,” Loki stubbornly replied.

Darcy leaned her forehead against his. “I trust you. Let me prove to you that you aren’t a monster. And if you feel like things are starting to get out of control, then we stop.” She tilted her head and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Please? I promise that if it doesn’t go well, I’ll never bring it up again. It will officially be tabled.”

She could sense the indecision in every line of body. He was tense and almost trembling. “Loki?”

Before she could say anything else, he roughly pulled her face to his and began to kiss her. She reacted instinctively, tangling her fingers in his hair and moaning when he slid his tongue into her mouth. Loki rolled them so she was beneath him, his arms caging her her in. 

As the kiss deepened, Darcy began to notice he was gradually growing colder. The tongue in her mouth changed from the normal cool temperature she associated with Loki, to something much more arctic. The sensation was incredible, and when it withdrew back into his mouth, she chased after it with her own.

He pulled back immediately, and she found his guarded scarlet eyes gazing down into hers . Then Loki opened his mouth just enough to show off the points of his fangs. 

“Oh,” she said, sheepishly. “Right. I forgot about those. I’ll be more careful, okay?” Darcy examined the sharp white canines with fascination. “Is it alright if I…” She reached hesitantly towards his mouth. 

Loki gave a small nod and she gently traced her finger over his cold lips before running it along one of his elongated incisors. He waited until she was completely absorbed in what she was doing and abruptly snapped at her finger, causing her to squeak and jump.

“Gotcha,” he said, chuckling, and Darcy swatted his shoulder. 

“Hey! Not nice. Bad frosty God of Mischief," she pouted.

He grinned. “Sorry. That was simply impossible to resist.”

"What’s up with you, Mr. Playful Pants?” she inquired, narrowing her eyes at him, “I thought you were going to be all demanding, dominant Frost Giant with me."

“Believe me, Darcy, the Jötunn urges are there. I’m just working very hard to control them right now. If I think for one second that things are going to get out of hand, this stops. Do you understand me?”

“Cool, cool,” she replied, and then she giggled. “No, seriously, _cool_. Get it?”

He made a typical Loki sound of affectionate exasperation, and pinned both her wrists over her head on the pillow. “Behave yourself woman, or I will be forced to reprimand you.”

“Rawr, that’s what I’m talking about. Wanna get the handcuffs, big boy?”

His expression promptly switched from mischievous to predatory and she watched as he warred with whatever was going on inside his head until he got it back under control. With measured movements he released her wrists and settled his palms on either side of her face. 

“Are we good?” she asked, cupping his cheek in her hand.

He nuzzled against it. “We are fine. For now. Although I think it will be best if I take things very slowly."

Her face beamed with hope and excitement. “We’re really doing this then?”

Loki bent his head and brushed his lips over hers. “Yes. But not here."

A tingly haze of magic began to build around them, and Darcy got the impression that wherever they were going, it wasn’t somewhere close. As it coalesced and grew she rapidly became more curious about the destination. “Loki? Where are we going?”

His arms wrapped tightly around her and he kissed her one more time before simply saying, “Home.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the great words of marshmallowdeviant: Bow Chicka Bow Bow! (or possibly Blue Chicka Bow Bow...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said Monday, but I figured everyone would be okay with me posting a day early. :D
> 
> A few things about this chapter: I had to look up Old Norse. People...it was like going back to college. And since I used the internet, heaven only knows if it's correct. I'll put a translation at the bottom of the fic so I don't spoil anything here before you read it.
> 
> This chapter is heavy on the smut. Don't read it at work. Unless you have a really cool boss. 
> 
> Have I thanked you all lately for being so awesome and encouraging? We've got close to 7k reads on this story in two weeks. I have no words. Thank you so much for helping to turn this oneshot into something that now has fourteen chapters and counting. You are all amazing, and if I could clone Tom Hiddleston and send each one of you a copy, I would.
> 
> ****************************************************

It was definitely the furthest he’d ever teleported them. Darcy was sure that if they hadn’t landed in a bed, she would have stumbled despite his arms being around her. As it was, she felt completely disoriented and dizzy. 

“Ugh,” she muttered against his shoulder. “I’m gonna need a second.”

She could feel his chilly lips smiling where they were pressed against her forehead. “Darcy,” he said in an amused tone, “open your eyes.”

“Can’t. Everything is spinning even with them closed. It’s worse than Hong Kong.”

Loki clucked sympathetically, and she felt a tingling warmth settling into her all over, washing away the discomfort. She sighed in relief. 

“Better?” he inquired.

“So much. Where did you take us, any…” She opened her eyes and her jaw dropped. "Are we where I think we are?"

"I did say home,” he reminded her.

"Yeah...but... _Asgard_." Darcy wriggled out of his grip and sat up on the bed to get a better look at her surroundings. "Is this the room you grew up in?"

"It is. What do you think?"

The room was enormous. Literally, her entire apartment could have easily fit inside it with space left for an olympic size swimming pool besides. The ceiling soared with gothic style arches, and the walls were covered with tapestries and bookshelves. 

There was a fireplace across from them. A high backed chair sat on a thick rug facing it. To the left of that, was a large desk with a bunch of scrolls neatly stacked on top. 

The bed itself was massive, some sort of canopied, four poster affair with long draperies drawn back at each corner. It was a far cry from the modern platform type he had at his apartment. Everything seemed to be in shades of black, gold, and green, but it was hard to tell in the low light.

“Loki, you are so Team Slytherin,” she teased. “Like..for real. This is what I imagine their common room probably looks like. Well, without the giant bed, that is." 

He rolled his eyes, but she could tell he was pleased. "I bring you all the way to Asgard and you make Harry Potter references."

"Speaking of Asgard, won't we get caught? You're banished, remember?"

"My room is heavily warded.” He tugged her over to him, and brushed the tip of his nose over hers. “No one outside these walls will have the slightest idea we're here."

She smiled saucily at him. "So...what you're saying then, is that we can be as loud as we want?"

Loki ghosted his lips over her mouth. "Yes, Darcy, feel free to scream my name as emphatically as you wish."

Mmm, his lips. So cold and delicious. This was going to be amazing. "It's sort of dark in here,” she whispered against his mouth. “Think you could fix that?”

Loki tensed, and she could see his crimson eyes cloud with uneasiness. 

“I’m not going to run. Really,” she assured him. “And keeping the room dark is a little like cheating, isn’t it? I _want_ to see you.”

One by one, candles lit in sconces around the room, until they were both bathed in the flickering light. The shadows jumped and played over the cool cerulean planes of his face while he observed her anxiously. 

“You know, for all your talk about scaring me, you’re actually the one who’s frightened, Loki. And it’s silly really, because I can see you, and you are beautiful. Do you hear me? Beautiful. The skin, the eyes, these ridge thingies...” She traced a slow line over one of the markings on his chin. “...they’re gorgeous. _You_ are gorgeous. I’m all about my exotic blue boyfriend.”

He cleared his throat. “Sigils.”

“Hm?” she asked distractedly, running her fingertips over the raised skin on his forehead.

Loki caught her fingers and kissed them. “The ridges on my skin, they’re called sigils. You truly like them?”

“I love them,” she assured him. “Are they like...everywhere?”

“Yes,” he answered, allowing her to turn his hand over so she could study the ones on his wrist.

Darcy glanced up at him coyly. “Oh really? Even…” She made a pointed gesture towards his lap, and he looked down for a moment and then back up at her.

The watchful expression on his face had been replaced by something entirely different and far more familiar to her. “Darcy Lewis, are you asking what I think you are asking?” He arched one elegant eyebrow at her questioningly.

“Are you going to call me a minx? Because if you did, you’d be totally right.”

“You _are_ a minx.” He gave her a cheeky smirk. “But I’m also going to answer your question.”

“Oh,” she replied, eyes widening in anticipation. “Awesome.”

Loki shook his head at her in amusement. “This has always been your favorite trick, hasn’t it? Everything I’ve shown you, all the things I’ve done, and you are still most impressed by the fact that I can magically undress myself.”

Darcy would have answered him, but she was too busy turning into a slavering ball of lust. His body was just...she had no words. None. She was the luckiest girl on Earth. Poor Jane and her boring old Æsir boyfriend. Darcy had totally picked the superior brother. Then Loki's pants shimmered out of existence and her brain immediately stuttered to a halt. Holy. Shit. She knew she was staring in a wildly inappropriate way, but then again, he was probably used to it.

“Jesus Christ, Loki, if this works out, we are doing blue, like all the time. You know that, right? I can’t believe you are ashamed of your heritage, because _that_ is a fucking _marvel_.”

There was a beat where he just looked at her, and then Loki started to laugh. Not his usual throaty chuckle, but all-out, head thrown back, uproarious laughter. After a few seconds she joined in with him. It was all so ridiculous. The two of them, sitting on his bed in _Asgard_ of all places, having a discussion about his ribbed Jötunn penis. Seriously. Best. Relationship. Ever.

“Oh Darcy,” he stated, still chuckling a little. “I knew there was a reason why I love you so much.”

Wait. What? She stopped mid-giggle.

He froze.

She froze.

There was a lot of freezing going on. Which Darcy couldn’t help but find the irony in.

Finally she located her voice. It had apparently tumbled down under her stomach, which was currently doing backflips. “Um, Loki, I think maybe my brain has been compromised by the proximity of your incredibly sexy, Jötunn body. Could you repeat that? Just so I know I’m not going crazy.”

Loki didn’t answer. Oh God. The panicked look was starting to creep back on his face.

“You look like you’re freaking out. Please don’t freak out, okay. You don’t need to repeat it. Just answer me this, did you just say you loved me?”

He licked his lips, eyes locked on hers. “Yes.”

She nodded slowly, trying to remain calm. “Right. And was that just like, an expression or…?”

“No.”

“Okay, I’m really sorry. I know I said I wouldn’t make you repeat it, but…”

Loki reached up and laid his fingers over her lips to stop her from speaking. “Ek elska þik, Darcy,” he said quietly.

Heat rushed through her body. The words might have been foreign, but his feelings were written all over his face. Message received, loud and clear.

Gently, she removed his fingers from her lips, and threaded hers through them. “Ek elska þik, Loki.”

There was a split second where she saw the overwhelming joy and elation on his face, and then she wasn’t seeing much of anything, because he pretty much threw her down on the bed went berserk.

It wasn’t long before she was struggling to keep up. His mouth seemed to be everywhere at once, and he had both her wrists pinned up above her head in one hand while he was pulling her thighs around his hips with the other. Then she heard loud ripping sounds all around her and realized her clothes had just met an untimely death courtesy of the red-eyed god currently _growling_ his way over her collarbone.

Okay. She could handle this. They’d had rough sex before. Granted, this was a little rougher than usual...and were those his fangs snapping near her ear? No. It was fine. She was fine. He was saying a lot of things now. None of them in English. And...there was quite a bit of biting. She liked biting, it was just that his teeth were really sharp and...eep! Darcy flinched as they clamped down hard over her pulse point.

He immediately stopped and jerked away to the other side of the bed, body shuddering as his breath came in short, harsh pants. She could see the haze of lust fading from his eyes while Loki struggled to reign himself in.

Finally he looked at her, face full of shame. “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “You don’t need to be.”

“I am.”

As she watched, the blue began to leach from his skin, and she realized that he was changing back. “What are you doing? Stop that,” she protested.

“I told you that if something like this happened we wouldn’t continue,” he said, paused halfway between blue and alabaster.

“You also said that you needed to go slow, and that right there was kind of the opposite of slow,” she argued. 

“Darcy, I _attacked_ you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Please. You got over-excited. It was a big moment. Trust me, Loki, I was feeling it too. Can we just like...start over? You’ve got yourself back under control now, and I promise to behave and not speak space-viking at you. Which, just so you know, I’m totally filing that away for later. If I’d known how much it turned you on, I would have googled it months ago.”

Loki visibly relaxed, and to her great relief, he allowed the blue to recolor his skin. “You realize it was not so much the language you spoke, as it was what you said, yes?”

“Yeah, I know,” she said, giving him a soft smile. “It really did it for me too. So try to contain yourself, because I’m about to come over there, and I am going to kiss you. Okay?” 

“You are sure you still want this?”

“Positive.” Darcy slipped across the bed and rose up on her knees in front of him. “Ready?”

He nodded.

“Excellent,” she breathed, and then brought her lips to his. 

It was so quiet that she could hear the candles sputtering in the room as he almost shyly kissed her back, his hands on her waist. She slid her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, and he tilted his head, letting his lips part. 

So far, so good, she thought, and very carefully slipped her tongue into his mouth and flicked it over the back of his teeth. He reacted instantly, arms tightening around her and pulling her flush against his wintry skin. Darcy let him take over, allowing him to curve over her and deepen the kiss. 

Mmm, there was his tongue, right in her mouth where she wanted it. Well, not the _only_ place she wanted it, but still. They had time for that. It moved along hers, cold, and sweet, and restless, and she let out a hushed little sigh of pleasure.

Not for the first time with Loki, Darcy really wished that breathing was optional, as she reluctantly broke the kiss to come up for air. 

“I’m really loving the whole opposite temperature thing we’ve got going on, like...enough to get all fetishy about it” she said approvingly. 

He smiled down at her. “The feeling is quite mutual.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Loki bent his head and nipped just below her ear. “I find..” Nip. “...the blazing heat of you..” Lick. “...very…” He sucked on her neck and her eyes started to roll back in her head. “...appealing.”

“Oh, good,” she replied absently, and could feel his chest rumble with amusement. 

“Lie down, Darcy. I want to encourage this new fetish of yours.”

Silently, she unfolded her legs and slid back against the pillows. 

“Now, close your eyes.”

She obediently closed them, and felt the bed moving before she heard him get up and start moving around the room.

Within seconds he was back, bed dipping next to her. 

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

She smiled. “You know I do.”

“Lift your head.” 

Smooth cloth closed over her eyes as he blindfolded her. 

“Kinky,” she giggled.

“Says the woman who is willingly bedding a frost giant.”

“Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants. I can’t help it that my heart wants you...along with a few other parts that also totally want you.”

Loki’s hands were starting to wander, his glacial touch slipping over her hot skin and leaving trails of sparks behind them. “Which other parts?” 

“Ummmm….” 

Her concentration was totally blown. Not being able to see what he was doing forced her to rely on tactile sensation, mind only able to register fingers, and lips, and fuck! _Teeth_! There didn’t seem to be any pattern to what he was doing, just random licks, and nips, and… Uhhnn! That was her hip he just bit. His cool tongue swirled soothingly over the bite and she arched up towards it.

He made a tsk sound. “If you don’t answer me, Darcy, I will just have to guess.”

She couldn't seem to find the breath to respond.

“Oh well. I suppose there is nothing for it. How about this? Is this one?” 

She gasped loudly when he dipped his finger into her slick core. “Loki!”

“Mmm, thought so. You are in quite a state. Shall I help?”  
.  
Loki was moving again, she could feel the chill of his body as he positioned himself between her legs. Cool breath blew over her hot flesh in a steady, teasing stream, and her body pebbled with goosebumps.

The finger was back, tracing, touching, sliding through her wetness. Then it moved up to circle her clit with a feather-light touch. Seconds later she felt his lips on the inside of her thigh, followed by his teeth. She reached down blindly for him, and he found her hand and held it.

“Too cold?”

“No. It’s good. Really, really go..oh… Oh!” she gasped. “ _Fuck_.” That was his tongue. Right there. Jesus. His fingers dropped down so they could set up a curling rhythm inside her, and Darcy began to shiver all over in the best possible way.

“How are we coming along with that fetish?”

That smug bastard. He knew _just_ how it was coming along. She was literally fucking his hand at this point. Hips moving helplessly as his tongue continued to assault her clit. 

“God, Loki...please…”

He latched onto her then, sucking hard, and she clutched at his hand and bucked against his mouth. Darcy suddenly had a desperate need to see him, and shoved the blindfold off with her free hand. All it took was the sight of Loki’s red eyes glowing up at her, and she was lost, orgasm boiling up and crashing over her in a hot and cold wave that left her limp and gasping.

She was still recovering when he released her hand and moved up next to her on the bed. One of his thighs eased between hers, and he held himself propped up with one arm under his head. “Well?”

Darcy laughed breathlessly. “You just ruined me for all over men. Possibly even including not blue you.”

He grinned at her. “I suppose not blue me will just have to try harder then.”

“Or you know, you could just make a double and I could have blue you and not blue you at the same time,” she mused. 

Loki looked highly intrigued. “We have all night.”

A thrill went through Darcy at that statement. “Yeah, we do, don’t we? All night, in your bed, in Asgard. You brought me _home_ you big, adorable, old-fashioned dork.”

“Yes, well, don’t expect me to introduce you to my father. I’m not very keen on being imprisoned again.”

“Believe me,” she responded, “I have no interest in meeting Odin. Knowing me, I’d say something totally true and completely rude about what a shit I think he is for the way he raised you and Thor, and we’ll both end up in the pokey.”

“You would, wouldn’t you? My feisty little champion.” Loki brushed the hair off of her forehead and kissed her there.

“I love that you aren’t threatened by what a total badass I am,” she joked, and he laughed.

They lay there for a moment, him stroking through her hair, and her studying his face. 

“You’re so pretty,” she announced suddenly.

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Am I?” 

“Mhmm. Do you think you can behave yourself if I touch you? Because I’m kind of dying to check out those sigil things.”

Scarlet eyes beamed warmly at her. “Do you know no one has ever asked to touch them before? You are the first.”

“You were spending your time with all the wrong people, then.”

“Clearly.”

“So was that a yes, or…?”

“Possibly.” Loki smiled mischieviously. “You could always try it and see what happens. Just remember, I bite.” He bared his fangs at her.

“Yeah, Dracula, I noticed.” she replied dryly. 

He chuckled. “Darcy, you never needed to ask. If you wish to touch me, then do so.”

She lifted her fingers to his face first, tracing gently over each raised line and mark. As she progressed, he leaned further and further into her touch, and by the time she got to his neck he was nearly purring. Then she moved to the lines on his chest and arms, lightly caressing each one as he gazed at her with hooded eyes. 

When she got to the ones on his back, his eyes fluttered shut and he shivered all over. “You like this,” she noted. “What does it feel like to you?”

He dropped his head onto her shoulder. “It is indescribable. The sigils are very sensitive, and your fingertips are so warm upon my skin.”

Darcy trailed her fingers down his spine and then brought one hand around to the front of his hips, slowly working her way closer to where he was trapped, hard and aroused between their bodies. He hissed loudly as she closed her fingers around him.

Loki let her explore the striations covering his length for a few moments, and then reached down to still her hand. 

“Should I stop?” she asked.

He lifted his head. “It is...distracting. And I can’t afford to be distracted right now. The urge to be inside you is overwhelming, and I’m struggling to subdue it.”

She stroked her fingers over his jawline. “Why subdue it? I’m right here. I’m ready for you. If you want me, then have me.”

“You are certain about this?” Loki searched her face, looking for any sign of hesitation.

“Positive. Please, Loki, I need you.”

He inhaled sharply and rolled fully on top of her, roughly spreading her legs with his knees. “Darcy…” He swallowed heavily. “...I am going to do my best to control this. It will be infinitely easier if you do not say or do anything that I might interpret as a challenge. If you do, it will trigger my instinct to dominate. Do you understand?”

Nodding, she replied, “I understand.”

“Good.” He shifted slightly, aligning himself with her body, and cupped her face in his hand. “I love you.” Before she could respond, he grasped her hips and seated himself fully inside her in a single forceful stroke that made them both gasp. 

Oh God. Oh God, and fuck and everything else. The _cold_ , and the sigils rubbing her inside, and the sheer fucking sexiness of him was breathtaking. Darcy found herself fisting the sheets, back bowing up to meet him, and he hadn’t even started moving yet. 

Loki withdrew and thrust in again, and her body lit up like the sun, all burning heat around his icy coolness. On his next stroke, she canted her hips up to meet him and he growled. His pace was languid, but the force of the thrusting was hard and deep, and it was obvious that he was fighting to hold back. She could see in his eyes the battle that must have been going inside, and it wasn’t long before he was shaking with the effort to keep things slow. 

“You need more, don’t you?” Darcy asked.

“I need you to be safe,” he replied, words clipped and sharp.

She took his face in her hands. “Look at me, Loki. I _am_ safe. I’m with you. Let go.”

He stopped moving. “I cannot. What if I hurt you? Darcy, you are so fragile.”

“You won’t. Don’t be afraid of what you are. I love what you are. All of what you are. Give over, Loki. I want it as much as you do.”

His head dropped down, and she could feel him shudder. “If at any point,” he said in a low voice, “you are afraid, or injured, you will tell me immediately.”

“Yes.” Her heart was pounding as he lifted his head.

Loki’s eyes locked on hers, and she watched as he relaxed his hold on the storm behind them. It rushed to the surface in a torrent and she felt pinned under his feral gaze. A snarl ripped from his throat and he grabbed her hips, turning her body, and pulling her up so her back was against his chest. She barely had to time to adjust her legs around his before he was thrusting up into her again. 

The pace he set was vicious, one arm wrapped around her waist and another on her thigh to pull her down on each upward stroke. Darcy could hear him growling low in his chest, and answered him with a keening cry of own, reaching behind her to curl her fingers around the back of his neck.

Each powerful thrust forced her body into new heights of sensation as the sigils on his cock ground along her inner walls. The hand on her thigh began skating upwards, and she cried out again when his fingers found her clit.

“Please...please more,” she whimpered. “Please, Loki.”

“My Darcy, so very wanton,” he purred in a low tone. “Tell me you love this.”

Her hips rocked and his fingers stroked fiercely over the sensitive little nub. “I… I love this.”

“Mine!” he demanded. “Say it!”

“God!” she gasped. “ Yes, yes, yours.” 

“Mine,” he repeated. “Just mine.”

She twisted around so she could see his face. “Just yours. Yours, Loki.”

He made a sound of satisfaction, and grasped her jaw in his hand, holding her in place so he could kiss her. There was no finesse in it, just raw hunger as his tongue mimicked the movement of his cock inside her. Darcy began tremble, so close to the edge that all it took was the sound of him shouting his own release in her mouth to send her spiraling into orgasm. 

The feeling swept through her like a firestorm, and Darcy was helpless as her body quaked and shook in his arms. She hoped the wards on his room held, because she was screaming his name so loudly they could probably hear her in Vanaheim. 

Loki held her tightly to his chest, face buried in her shoulder. After a moment she realized his was whispering words into her skin.

“Ek elska þik, minn sváss. Ek elska þik.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered back. “ _So_ much.”

She felt the temperature of his body begin to change, and looked down to see the arms wrapped around her were rapidly fading from blue to his regular Asgardian skintone. His chest was still heaving as he carefully withdrew from her and laid her down on the bed.

Her body felt boneless, it was all she could do to smile at him as he lowered himself down next to her. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, eyes full of concern.

“Yeah,” Darcy replied, voice cracking a little. “I’m good. Trust me. Do you have any idea how hard you just rocked my world? Jesus, Loki, I love blue you. Go blue!” She weakly lifted her fist from the bed to pump it in the air.

He gave her a tender smile and grazed his finger over her cheek. “Thank you, minn sváss. Thank you so much for that.”

“I told you it would be okay,” she said, tilting her head up to be kissed.

“You did,” he agreed, brushing his lips over hers. “Clever Darcy.”

“ _Your_ Darcy,” she giggled. “That was really hot by the way. Although...” She put her hands on his shoulders and pushed until she could straddle him. “...for the record, you are _my_ Loki, and you’d just better remember that.”

“I’m yðvarr hermaðr, and you are minn sváss, and together we are force to be reckoned with.”

“Damn straight we are. Now, I don’t know if you noticed, but we haven’t broken this bed yet. Care to rectify that situation?”

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Æsir or Jötunn?”

Darcy leaned down and smiled wickedly at him. “Both.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ek elska þik - I love you
> 
> Minn sváss, - My beloved/My sweet
> 
> Yðvarr hermaðr -Your warrior


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki takes Darcy out to see Asgard and they have some alfresco sexytimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, this was supposed to be just a playful little thing where Loki let Darcy take out one of the longboats and then it uh...sort of got away from me.
> 
> I had the best intentions, you guys. It was totally going to be safe for work. But...nope.
> 
> Also, yesterday I was very innocently surfing all the interwebs when somehow, and like, don't ask me how, I ran across a manip of Loki tied to a bed. With his helmet on. It is by a person on tumblr called Moonrainbow. Moonrainbow, I don't know if you are reading this, or if anyone who is reading this knows this amazing person. But seriously, thank you. Thank you so much. That manip is made of leprechaun gold and unicorn fluff, and is a glorious thing.
> 
> *****************************************************

Golden light streamed in the windows of Loki's bedroom in Asgard. The God of Mischief watched as it crept closer to the slumbering woman in his arms. He briefly considered pulling the curtains around the bed, but that would mean dislodging Darcy, and he was loath to do that.

Her chestnut hair spilled across his chest in tangled whorls, and every now and then she would nuzzle her sleep-flushed cheek against his skin. Loki could not recall a time in his entire life when he had been more content. He lifted his hand and stroked it over her bare back.

What she had done for him the night before was staggering. He wondered if Darcy knew the significance of what giving herself to him in his true form meant to him. The complete love and acceptance in that act had begun to heal years of painful emotional scarring and betrayal.

He drew his fingers down her back again, and she stirred, lifting her head to blink sleepily at him.

“What’s shaking, Frosty?” she asked, a small smile turning up the corners of her lips. She began to uncurl from around his body, and then immediately burrowed back down into his shoulder with a groan. “Ugh. I _knew_ I was gonna be sore today."

To his great amusement, her head popped back up a second later and she grinned shamelessly at him.

"We had so much sex last night. Really good sex. Really good, really kinky sex. Am I crazy, or at one point was there a blue you and a vanilla you? I mean, that happened, right? I couldn’t possibly have dreamed it.”

He chuckled, relieved on so many levels. “No, you most assuredly did not dream that.”

“Oh good.” She yawned and stretched against him. “Because I’d like to do that again. Soon. Like, maybe after breakfast soon.”

“Are you hungry?” he inquired.

“Mmm, starving. I think I burned a year’s worth of calories doing, you know, all that stuff we did...while we were naked...in your bed. And, oh God, over on the desk. And um...the bookshelves. Did we really knock all those books down?" She eyed the scattered tomes on the floor. "I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not. Anyway, think you could conjure us up some coffee and bagels?”

Loki smiled indulgently at his rambling mortal. "What flavor cream cheese?”

“Um...vegetable? Or no, wait, how about sun dried tomato. You know how that bakery on 53rd does it? With like, the big pieces of yummy dehydrated tomatoey goodness? Oh, and maybe some of those pastries with the strawberry filling.”

“By all means, Darcy, feel free to turn me into your personal chef," he said, rolling his eyes at the ceiling.

She lifted her chin and settled it on his chest so she could look at him. “Loki Odinson! How many times have I made you breakfast, hm? There is literally not enough challah bread on Earth to satisfy your french toast addiction. Now make with my bagels, Mischief Man, or no nooner today.”

“Darcy, it _is_ noon. You have slept half the morning away, minn sváss.”

"Mmm, I love when you call me that. Say some more stuff in space-viking.”

“Get up, woman! I want to show you my home, and I cannot do that if you remain in bed.” He danced his fingers over her ribs and she squirmed away, giggling.

“Fine, fine. I’ll get up.” She pushed herself into a sitting position and then scanned the room with a frown.

“Behind us. Go through the archway and it is on your left,” he said, guessing what she wanted.

She turned back to him and bit her lip. “This isn’t going to be some weird chamber pot situation, is it?”

Loki snorted. “No, Darcy, we have indoor plumbing in Asgard. Go. I will get our breakfast.”

It took her a moment to navigate the bed, and just before she slid off, she turned back to him. “Toothbrush?” she asked, holding out her hand.

“On the vanity. Toothpaste is in the green jar. Will there be anything else?” He arched an eyebrow at her in mock impatience.

“You realize that I’m picturing you brushing your teeth in a fancy Asgardian bathroom now. Like a normal person. Right?” Darcy grinned. “The mighty Loki. Destroyer of Worlds and Dedicated Advocate of Oral Hygiene.”

“If you were not so delightfully naked at the moment, I might be inclined to be cross with you,” he said dryly.

She put her hand on her hip. “Yes, well, funny thing about that, I don't seem to have any clothes. Some over-enthusiastic Frost Giant ripped them off me last night.” Her eyes fell to the scattered bits of lace on the floor. “That was my favorite pair of panties, by the way. You owe me, buddy.”

Loki sighed. “Darcy, do I need to carry you in there myself?”

“I’m going, I’m going,” she said, starting across the room. “Don’t get your horns in a twist.”

***********************************************************************************

His bathroom was as ridiculously huge as the rest of his suite. It took her a full five minutes to locate the actual toilet. Which, you know, > _that_ was an adventure, because they might have indoor plumbing in Asgard but it looked nothing like the ones on Earth. Loki should have warned her. Plus it was gold. Honest to God, she was so going to tease him about that later.

Immediate discomfort relieved, she made her way over to the vanity so she could brush her teeth. There were two toothbrushes sitting there in a little filigree cup. She picked up the pink one, it had to be hers because the other one was green, and got busy freshening her mouth.

A few seconds later, Loki wandered in, also naked, and stood next to her in front of the sink so he could brush his own teeth. She smiled at him around her toothbrush, and he smiled back. Well. This was...domestic. And ridiculously cute.

When they’d finished, he snagged her around the waist with one arm and kissed the side of her head. “Why don’t you go out and eat, and I will join you in just a minute.”

Mmmm, bagels. Yum. She happily nodded and left him to go find food. It was set up on a table in front of the fireplace, plates full of assorted kinds of bagels and spreads. She dragged one of the sheets off his bed and wound it around herself before going to inspect her breakfast.

He had totally conjured up the cream cheese and pastries she wanted. Darcy knew he would. Loki was just good like that. She slathered an unhealthy amount of spread onto an egg bagel and had just taken a giant bite when he reappeared from the bathroom.

“Hey,” she enthused in a rather muffled voice. “These are great! Thank you.”

Loki made up his own bagel and took a bite. “Hm, they are. I have outdone myself.”

“Always so modest,” Darcy said sarcastically.

“And yet you chose me,” he responded, pouring himself a cup of wine from some sort of metal ewer.

“Are you really having wine with your bagel?” She grimaced. “I’m not even sure if that’s legal.”

He stared at her defiantly over the rim of his goblet as he took a sip. “When have you ever known me to bow to laws?”

“Never,” she replied, “but I have noticed that you get on your knees for me. Which, you know, is very hot.”

“That is different. I _love_ you, whereas laws are detestable.” Loki sat down in the chair before the fireplace and tugged her into his lap.

“Say it again,” she requested, reclining against him and snuggling into his shoulder.

Loki’s eyes sparkled impishly at her. “Laws are detestable?”

“Yes. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear. Not the part where you said you loved me, because that’s totally not important or special,” she said, smacking his arm.

Chuckling, he turned her so she was facing him, and threaded the fingers of his free hand through hers. Then he sobered before he spoke. “Darcy Lewis, I love you. You are the quiet in my storm, and the vessel where my heart resides. Take care with it, I have never given it out before.”

She felt tears begin to prickle in her eyes. Damn him and his totally beautiful way of saying things that completely wrecked her every time. “I’m not good at being eloquent like you are, but I love you, Loki. And you don’t need to worry about your heart, because I’m going to protect it with my life. Okay?”

His answer was to kiss her, lips moving slow and sweet over hers.

Darcy couldn’t believe how lucky she was. She had Loki, and a bagel, and today he was going to show her around his home which just happened to be another planet. Life seriously didn’t get any better than this.

Once they’d finished eating, Loki stood up with her in his arms. “Would you care to bathe with me?” he asked.

“Are we going to use that giant swimming pool thing in your bathroom, because if the answer is yes, then absolutely.” She grinned at him.

"Of course we are, and it is called a bathing pool," he corrected.

"Whatever, it looked awesome, and I'll totally get in with you. Let's go."

Bathing with him turned out to be ridiculously fun. There was splashing, and teasing, and he got very handsy after she agreed to let him soap her up. Afterwards, they dried off. Darcy constantly found her attention wandering to the towel wrapped snugly around his narrow hips.

Finally they were done, and he held his hand out to her. “Come here. If we are going to leave my room, I will need to alter our appearance.” She took his hand and Loki led her in front of a large mirror. “Watch,” he said.

The hands on her shoulders began to pulse with magic, and Darcy felt it flow over her from head to toe. Her reflection in the mirror wavered and slowly began to change into someone else. Within moments, a lovely red-haired woman was standing next to Loki, wearing an emerald green gown with a wide, scoop neck collar.

“Wow,” she gasped, and twisted back and forth in the flowing gown, making the skirts swing around her gold sandals. It was so pretty that she decided not to bother bringing up the fact that he'd neglected to include any underwear in his little spell.

“You look lovely,” he said, gazing at her with open admiration.

“That’s not very nice to say when you’ve just changed me into someone else you know,” she groused.

“Darcy, I see _you_ , not the illusion. Just as you will see me. "Here.” He turned her back to the mirror and then magicked himself into a tall, blonde man wearing a snowy white shirt with a deep blue leather vest over it, and dark camel-colored pants.

She spun back around to look at him, and saw Loki dressed in his usual more casual style of black pants and a deep green shirt.

“See? I am still me. You are still you, but to everyone else, we will just be an ordinary Asgardian couple out enjoying the day.”

“Have I told you yet this morning how amazing I think you are?” she asked, settling her hands on waist and rising up on her tiptoes in an effort to reach his lips.

Loki lifted her up so that she was looking down at him. “Even if you had, do you think I would stop you from doing it again?”

“We both know the answer to that,” she said, rolling her eyes.

He slowly slid her down his chest until their faces were parallel. “Kiss me, minn sváss.”

She did.

Ten minutes later she was still occupied with kissing him. How he managed to hold her up that entire time was beyond her, but frankly, she had other things on her mind...and on her lips.

Eventually he broke away with a groan and set her back on her feet. “We will waste all my magic if we continue this, because I will simply take you back to bed, and you will never see what is beyond these walls.”

Unsurprisingly, Darcy was kind of okay with that, but she could see how excited he was to show her his home. “Let’s go then,” she said, smiling at him. “I want to see where the God of Mischief grew up.”

He offered her his arm, and teleported them straight out of his room. They reappeared in a small space with a stone wall on one side, and a large curtain on the other.

“Where are we?” she asked.

“An alcove in the great hall. I couldn’t very well use my door without alerting Odin to our presence.” He pulled the curtain back and led her around it.

She stopped dead in her tracks and pulled her hand free of his.

“What?” he asked, brow furrowing in concern.

“This room...it’s just…” She made a sweeping gesture, indicating the throne and the pillars, and the huge, overwhelming grandeur of the place. “I know you are a prince. Like, you said it, and I believed it...but seeing where you lived is a whole other thing completely. Loki, you’re a _prince_. You’re a prince and I’m just...what am I, really? A poli-sci major from Earth who grew up eating hot dogs and mac n cheese while you were probably having feasts and being feted, and god knows what else. Seriously, Loki, what do I have to offer you?”

He swiftly moved to stand in front of her, cupping her face in his hands. “Stop that. There is nothing here that compares to you, do you understand me? Nothing. If I was offered my life here, or the chance to have met you sooner, my choice would always be you. Never doubt that.”

“Really?” she asked in a small voice.

Loki rubbed his thumb over her lips. “Truly. Now, minn sváss, enough of these foolish thoughts. How would you like to learn to pilot a longboat?”

“Um… I’m not really all that good on the water,” Darcy replied nervously, thinking of that one time in 8th grade when a friend asked if she wanted to go sailing with her family and she spent the entire time hanging over the port side bow wishing she were dead.

“It’s not that type of a boat.”

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. “What type of boat is it?”

“Come and see,” he said, offering his arm to her and grinning.

She took it, and he guided her out of the hall and through the gigantic golden doors on the other side. They went through several corridors, and down a long spiraling stairwell before ending up in front of a thick, wooden door. Loki pushed the door open and Darcy felt her jaw drop.

They were standing inside a what looked like a giant airplane hanger. Well, if airplane hangers were all fancy and full of hanging pennants that is. However, it wasn’t the actual room that had her attention. No, because at the moment Darcy was totally focused on the rows of shiny, metallic, steampunk looking boats that were hovering a few inches off the ground.

They had wings. _Wings._ Boats with wings. She was already in love.

“Um, Loki…”

“Yes, Darcy?”

“Are these flying boats?”

“I believe they are, yes.” he said nonchalantly, but she could hear the thread of excitement running through his words.

“I see. So when you asked me if I wanted to pilot a longboat…” She finally dragged her eyes away from the boats long enough to look up at him.

His smile was lighting up the whole room. “Would you like to learn to fly one of the longboats, Darcy?”

At that point, she might have screamed, “Yes,” and jumped around in an extremely undignified fashion. For about a minute. In a really fancy dress. Oh well.

Loki walked down the first row of boats and stopped in front of one. It was smaller than the rest, and sleeker, the wings curving back to frame the stern almost sensually.

“She’s yours, isn’t she?” Darcy guessed.

“She is.”

“Are we taking her out?”

He looked down at Darcy. “Would you like to? We can choose one of the larger ones if you wish.”

“I like this one,” she replied, patting the prow. “She’s sexy like her daddy.”

Loki laughed. “First a horse, and now a boat. What will I be accused of fathering next?”

“You forgot the snake,” she reminded him.

“Oh yes, Jörmungandr. Snorri Sturluson certainly had an imagination, if nothing else.”

“Our kids aren’t going to be animals, right?” she teased.

He arched his eyebrow at her. “Did you just offer to give me children?”

“Um…” She took a step back towards the side of the longboat and he followed her.

“Be very careful, minn sváss, or I may take you up on that,” he said in a low tone, framing her in with his body against it.

Darcy shivered. At that moment, with the way he was looking at her, she might have agreed to anything. “I um…” she said, licking her lips. “Maybe…?”

Loki started to chuckle, breaking the tension between them. “Why don’t we start with teaching you how to fly the boat, and we can discuss our potential offspring at a later date?”

“Okay,” she answered in relief.

“Good,” he said. “Now, let’s get you inside” He lifted her over the side before nimbly hopping in himself. “Ready?”

“Yep.”

“Alright. Come back here next to me.”

She did and he arranged her hands around a big gold joystick-looking thing that came up from the floor, placing his own hands around her waist.

“Right, now pull back slowly. You’ll feel it lock into place,” he instructed.

Darcy eased the stick back until she felt a click, and ship began to hum beneath them. “Was that okay?”

“It was perfect.” The arm around her waist tightened. “We need to ascend. Draw back very slightly on the tiller.”

She did. The hum increased and the ship rose up into the air..

“There we are. Now, this is very important. You are in a ship, not a car, so you want to move the tiller opposite of the direction you want to go. Left is called port, right is called starboard. Pulling back will increase our altitude, and pushing forward will cause us to descend. Have you got that?”

“I think so. Port…” She pointed left and right. “...starboard, down for up, and up for down. How do I make it go forward?”

“Feel that small bar underneath where your fingers are?”

Darcy nodded.

“Good. What I want you to do is push that in very lightly.”

Carefully adjusting her grip, Darcy depressed the bar. The ship darted forward and she immediately released it with a little shriek.

Loki leaned around and smirked at her. “I can see we are going to have to work on your definition of lightly, but first…” He turned around and make a double of his longboat, and then she could see magic rippling over the one they were in.

“Better if no one knows we’ve taken your ship out?” she guessed.

“Indeed. I did not have capture and imprisonment on the agenda for today.” He slid his arms back around her. “Shall we try this again?”

“That depends,” she said nervously. “Are you still going to love me if I wreck your pet boat?”

“Darcy,” he said dryly, “if you wreck the boat while we are both in it, whether or not I still care for you will be the least of our concerns.”

“Way to make me feel better, Loki.”

“Stop worrying. You are doing fine. Now, lightly, _lightly_ press the bar in.”

This time she was much more careful, and the ship made a slight vibrating noise as it eased forward. “What now?”

“Clear the exit arch,” he said, pointing towards a large opening in the wall about a hundred feet in front of them.

Darcy maneuvered the ship down the runway area and out through the archway. The view was incredible, and she gazed around them in awe. “Is that the Bifrost?” she asked, looking at the shining iridescent bridge spanning the river below.

“It is," Loki said and then directed her attention down towards the far end of it, "and that building at the end is Heimdall’s observatory where he watches all the branches of Yggdrasil.”

“What’s that?” She pointed at a strange floating structure off to their left.

“The coliseum. Would you like to go see it?”

“Can we?” she asked excitedly.

“Of course.” When she hesitated, he leaned forward and brought his lips close to her ear. “What are you waiting for, Darcy? Let her out.”

She glanced up at him, took a deep breath, and squeeze the throttle. The ship flew forward, whipping by the surrounding structures and turning the scenery into a blur around them. Loki continued to lean against her, keeping her braced along his chest as they accelerated.

“Is this okay?” she shouted back at him, trying to be heard over the wind rushing past.

“You are doing very well. Although, perhaps you might consider steering away from that statue of Thor's great-uncle.”

Darcy looked up in a alarm to see a massive stone statue quickly approaching on their right. She tried to adjust the tiller to avoid it, but forgot Loki’s instructions regarding opposite directions, and inadvertently sent them hurtling towards it.”

“Port!” he yelled. “Port, port, _PORT_!”

She jerked the tiller the other way, and they missed sideswiping the structure by mere inches. “God! Sorry!”

To her surprise, didn't seem upset. In fact, he was smiling at her. “No need to apologize. You should see my brother trying to fly. He once took out half the pillars in the great hall, destroyed the museum of antiquities, and decapitated his grandfather all in a the span of a minute.”

She gaped at him. “Did you just say he decapitated his grandfather?”

“Not his actual grandfather, just a large granite likeness. It was quite humorous actually. Well, aside from the fact that we were being fired upon at the time. Although that did lend a certain air of excitement,” he replied nostalgically.

“I’m sure it did.” She shook her head. “You guys are so weird. I blame your father for that.”

His chest rumbled as he laughed. They were nearing the coliseum now, and she decreased her grip on the throttle, allowing the ship to slow to a crawl as they approached.

When they reached it, she was able to see that the inside of the floating walls were lined with rows of seats, just like a stadium back on Earth. They looked down on a large central field with a tall solid stone wall running around it.

One of the floating seating areas was higher than the rest, and she could see a group of four throne-like chairs set on a dais in the front row. Each seat had a banner hanging down on the wall in front of it. The first was green with a curling snake on it. The next was red with a hammer, the third blue with a falcon, and the fourth purple with a set of conjoined triangles.

Loki slid his hand over hers and maneuvered them over to the row of seats, drawing the longboat up to the rail and tying it fast with rope. Then he handed her out before gracefully dropping down next to her.

“Does it meet your expectations?”

“It’s incredible,” she said honestly. “Is this throne thing yours?”

“It is.”

Darcy suddenly got a very naughty idea. There was nobody around, and the padded chair was so totally convenient. She placed her palm flat in the middle of Loki’s chest and began backing him up towards the throne.

He quirked an eyebrow at her questioningly. “Here?” 

“Is that an objection?”

“Absolutely not.”

He let her push him down into the chair, and then helped her pull her skirts up so she could straddle him. It was big enough that she could fit her legs easily next to his as she knelt above him. Loki made quick work of the laces on his pants, and then she released the fabric of her dress, letting it pool around them.

“Have you ever done this here before?” she asked.

Loki shook his head. “Never.”

She gave him a sinful smile. “First time for everything.”

“Mmm,” he agreed, reaching up and pulling her face to his so he could give her a lazy, searing kiss.

Darcy melted into him, reveling in the feeling of his lips and tongue moving against hers. She was so thoroughly distracted by it, that she didn’t notice he had worked his hand under her skirts until she felt his fingers slipping up between her legs.

He sucked in a sharp breath when his fingers came in contact with her slippery folds. “Darcy,” he rasped, “how long have you been this wet?”

“Um...since you pinned me up against the boat and threatened me with babies?” she responded, blushing a little.

The fingers stroked languidly over her, and she dropped her head to his shoulder with a moan.

“Look at me,” Loki commanded.

She lifted her head and found him gazing at her, green eyes dark with desire. He used his free hand to tug hers beneath her dress and wrapped her fingers around his straining length.

“Feel what you do to me, minn sváss. See how you bring this god to his knees.” He pulled both their hands down his shaft and back up in a firm stroke.

“Loki,” she whimpered.

"You need me?" he asked, and she nodded. He removed his fingers from her and lined himself up with her entrance. “Take me then, for I am yours.”

They both sighed in pleasure and relief when she finally lowered herself down onto him. She lingered a moment, just enjoying the feel of him filling her, and then Darcy braced her hands on his shoulders and began to move.

Loki let her direct the pace, merely rocking rhythmically up into her as she rolled her hips above him. She knew it wouldn't be long. Her body was already so keyed up from him touching her, and her clit was rubbing against him on every single thrust. Her muscles were already starting to flutter around him and they’d only just begun.

It seemed Loki could feel it, because he took her chin in his hand and forced her to meet his eyes. “Not yet.”

She looked back at him distractedly. “Loki, I can’t…”

“You can, and you _will_ , Darcy. Not. Yet.”

He grasped her hips in his hands, tilting them towards him, and increasing the pressure between them. She fought back her orgasm with everything she had, the tension building and building until she felt like she was burning from the inside out with desperation.

Just as she was about to break down and beg, Loki’s hips snapped up hard. “Now,” he said fiercely. “With me.”

The thread she’d been hanging by broke. Her release surged up and overtook them both. Loki gasped her name against her lips as she felt him coming furiously along with her her. His fingers buried themselves in her hair, and when the aftershocks finally began to fade he kissed her wildly, like he couldn't get enough.

Eventually they pulled apart and he helped her rearrange her dress. Then she curled up in his lap, spent. He wrapped his arms around her and they looked out on the empty coliseum, completely lost in one another. They stayed there until sunset began to paint the sky with fiery oranges and dusky blues.

“We must go,” Loki said reluctantly. “It is growing dark, and if I do not get you back to Midgard soon Anthony may do something rash in an effort to locate us.”

She got to her feet, stretching her arms overhead. “You’re probably right. I could totally see him standing on the roof of Stark Tower, insisting that Heimdall let him up simply because he’s Tony Stark.”

“Yes, and knowing Heimdall’s sense of humor, he may just let him in.”

She snorted. “That would be bad. Hilarious, but bad.”

“Yes it would,” Loki replied, a small smile playing about his lips.

Darcy eyed him warily. “I know that expression. Stop considering bringing him here. It would only end in tears...or lasers. Or possibly rockets and World War III.

He sighed. “You are sucking all the fun out of Asgard right now.”

“No, I’m trying “to prevent an intergalactic incident of epic proportions. There’s a difference.”

“So you say.”

“ _LOKI_.”

“Fine, fine. I shall not bring Stark to Asgard,” he conceded, “but I get to pilot the longboat on the way back to the palace.”

She looked from the longboat to his over-innocent countenance. “What do you have up your sleeve, Loki?”

“Nothing. I simply wish to pilot my own ship. Is that so much to ask?”

“I guess not,” she replied grudgingly. “I still think you’re up to something, though.”

“Is this the same woman who trusted me enough to allow me to blindfold her last night?” he asked in a mock-wounded tone.

“Yes. It’s also the same woman who helped you TP Nick’s house last halloween,” she said wryly.

“May I remind you that was _your_ idea,” he retorted, lifting her up into the boat. “We have no such traditions on Asgard.”

He had a point. Not that she was going to admit it.

Loki took them back a different way, steering the boat low over the river that ran under the Bifrost. Darcy watched him pilot in awe. He was amazing, a complete natural. At times, he would allow the prow to skim the surface, kicking up showers of spray on either side of the wings.

Her heart swelled at the expression of utter freedom and delight on his face. It made her wonder if this was how he looked before he discovered his father’s betrayal. Damn Odin for hurting Loki like that. If he were here right now, Darcy would have pushed him straight over the edge of the waterfall.

The boat slowed down, and came to a stop in the middle of the water. She turned to Loki to ask why, and he simply smiled and tipped her chin upwards with one finger so she was facing the sky.

“Now you see what I had up my sleeve,” he murmured, kissing the top of her head.

Darcy’s breath caught in her chest as she stared up at the shimmering starscape spread out above them. Constellations she’d never seen in her life lit up the heavens in a bright, beautiful array reaching from one shore to the other.

She felt a bubble of happiness well up inside her. At this moment, right here in Asgard with Loki, her life was as perfect as it could ever be.

******************************************************************************

High up on the Bifrost bridge, Psyche sat eating a taffy apple and watching the couple in the boat. She was practically basking in the love and contentment flowing from them. There hadn’t been such a compelling set of lovers since... Well, truthfully, since Hades and Persephone. Or maybe herself and Eros. _Oh my darling Eros_ , she thought, _how have you not yet realized the truth about Darcy?_ Her beautiful husband, able to see so much, but somehow this had escaped him.

Psyche swung her legs where they dangled over the side of the bridge, and took another bite of her apple. She needed to have a small conversation with Zeus and Ares when she got back to Mount Olympus. At any rate, there was time for all that. When you are immortal, there is all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so everyone knows, this chapter mysteriously disappeared on July 31st, and I have no idea why. CatsLoveSushi said it was Hermes being an asshat. I bet she's right. Anyway, SvenYves had accidentally downloaded the whole story a few days before, and was able to give me a copy of the chapter in its finalized state so I could put it back up. I owe her forever. She's amazing, and a total rockstar. Thank you so much, SvenYves, you are awesome!!!!
> 
> Sadly, I lost all the review threads. That sucked, because the people reviewing this story are hilarious and cool beyond belief. I have so much fun connecting with all of you in the comments. However, the chapter itself is back and intact, so I'm totally doing a happy dance here. :D


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki hatch a plan. Psyche reveals a secret. And all hell breaks loose in New York.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody kill me.
> 
> ********************************************************************

Loki sat on Thor’s couch and tried to marshal his thoughts. Just this past week, Darcy had tripped in a stairwell at Shield and dislocated her shoulder. Fortunately he was on hand to heal it, but the fact remained that it had happened. He could not protect her every second, no matter how much he desired to do so. Gods, what was he going to do?

The God of Mischief ran an agitated hand through his hair, and sighed loudly. “Her safety is all I think about. When we are apart, my foremost concern is how quickly that can be remedied. These humans are so very fragile.”

Thor looked out the window at Jane watering the geraniums on their balcony. “I know,” he quietly replied. “There is not a time that I behold my Jane and do not think of when she will be lost to me.”

His brother’s words conjured up a sudden image of Darcy lying still and cold before him. For a moment he had a very disconcerting sense of vertigo as the entire room pitched around him.

“Ah, I know that feeling well. Place your head between your knees and it shall pass,” Thor suggested sympathetically.

“Shut up,” Loki replied. “Have you any alcohol in this god-forsaken hovel?”

“There is no need to insult our home,” His brother chided. “And yes, I shall procure us some drinks.” He stood up and left for the kitchen with long strides.

Loki dropped his head in hands. A mortal woman. A fragile human with such a very limited lifespan. By the Nine, what was he going to do? He was over a _thousand_. She had barely scratched her twenties. And yet...what did that leave him? Fifty years, possibly sixty if he were very lucky, and she managed to avoid any of the common ailments which seemed to plague humanity. 

He lifted his eyes and watched Jane for a moment as she plucked a few dead blossoms from a potted plant. How did Thor do it? How did he look at her know that every second was bringing them closer to the inevitable? 

This was very, very dangerous. There was a fundamental difference between himself and Thor. He knew that if Thor lost Jane he would bitterly mourn her, but Thor was essentially good. 

Loki was not essentially good. At best, he was essentially morally ambiguous with a taste for mischief. At worst, he was a man capable of great chaos and evil. He was no fool. A great part of his ability to abstain from embracing his baser aspects had been found in Darcy’s encompassing care and acceptance of him. All of him. 

It wasn’t just Darcy. The newly restored relationship with Thor, and his own ability to recognize the fault in his actions also applied, but Darcy had been the first one to look upon his Jötunn form with wonder rather than disgust. She accepted that part of him so fully, that he in turn had begun to accept it himself. His hatred of his true form was fading under her unflagging loyalty and affection. 

Just how would he keep his head if anything happened to her? The answer was that he would not, and there was a very real possibility that he would unleash untold suffering on the Nine Realms when it happened. 

Loki was still wallowing in his anguished thoughts when Thor came back in the room. He was carrying a tray set with a bottle of amber liquid and two large tumblers. Something else was set squarely in the middle of the tray. Before Loki could see what it was, Thor picked it up in his free hand and lobbed it straight at his head. Loki reached up instinctively and caught the small, red item in his palm. As his fingers folded around it, he realized what it was. An apple.

“Not one of Iðunn’s I am afraid,” Thor said, dropping back into his spot on the couch. “But you get the general idea.”

Loki turned the apple over in his hand and grinned. “Are you suggesting that we commit _theft_? Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?”

Thor grinned back. “I am a man in love, Loki. Ask me what I would not do for Jane, Besides, it has been too long since we have plotted together. I crave the excitement of a new adventure.”

“Iðunn’s apples,” Loki mused. “You realize if we get caught, Odin will very likely have us executed?”

“What worthy cause does not come with great risk? You do not fool me, Loki. The idea of besting our father in this way pleases you immensely.”

“Of course it does,” he unabashedly admitted. “That old fool is ripe for a taste of humiliation.”

“Well then,” Thor said gleefully, rubbing his hands together. “Let us plan. I believe it would be…”

He was suddenly interrupted mid-sentence when a loud explosion rocked the building. Both men jumped to their feet and Jane stumbled to her knees on the terrace. Thor rushed to her side, carefully lifting her and cradling her in his arms. Loki reached them a moment later, and looked past them at the black smoke billowing up from a few blocks away. 

“Loki! Where is Darcy?” Thor shouted to be heard over the approaching sirens.

Loki turned his attention back to his brother. “In her apartment in Brooklyn. Safe. I left her sleeping, although I suspect she is awake now. I should call her. She will be concerned for me.”

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he’d just begun to dial when it rang. The moment he hit send, Nick Fury’s voice echoed over the line. 

“We’ve got a bit of a situation here,” he said grimly. “I’m going to need all forces on the ground.”

“We had noticed that, Nicholas,” Loki replied dryly. “I shall inform my brother. Is there any indication of what the threat is?”

“No one has been able to get close enough for a decent look. Tony is suiting up as we speak and Agent Hill has a call in to Banner.”

“Well then, expect us to be first on the scene. Thor is already champing at the bit.” Loki rolled his eyes at his brother, who was swinging Mjölnir impatiently in his hand.

“Actually, Mischief and Mayhem, I need you at headquarters. You can teleport Natasha and Clint much faster than if I sent them in a chopper.”

“May I remind you that I am not a taxi service, Nicholas.” Loki said in annoyance.

“Tell that to the families of the people who are going to die due to your reticence with getting my people there,” Nick huffed.

Loki glanced at the the site of the explosion where the smoke and flames were rapidly growing. “Fine. I shall be right there. But in the future kindly remember that I am not a method of conveyance.”

“Duly noted. Now get your royal ass down here before I send Banner to retrieve it.”

Nick hung up, and the only thing that kept Loki from crushing the phone was the knowledge that Darcy would panic if she couldn't reach him. She might even leave her apartment to come looking. He made a quick call to her, but the phone went straight to voicemail. 

Loki shook his head. Still sleeping then. So very like his Darcy. He left a message explaining that he was fine, and under no circumstances should she leave her home. He knew Fury had included Darcy when he said he wanted all forces on the ground, but Loki had no intention of putting her in danger like that. Nicholas could just take that up with him if he had a problem with it. Of course, if he did, he might not survive the encounter, but that wasn’t Loki’s fault. No one was putting Darcy in the pathway of a threat. Not anymore.

Thor was still waiting for instructions. As briefly as possible, Loki explained that he would meet him there after he’d gotten the other two operatives. Thor nodded and Mjölnir became a blur of metal as he prepared to take off. Loki called up his magic and pictured the Shield offices. He held that image in his mind, and the room shifted into nothingness around him as he disappeared.

******************************************************************************

Persephone and Psyche sat at a small cafe table in a bakery near the corner of 53rd and 2nd Avenue.

“Was I not telling the truth, Seph? These macarons are a revelation.” Psyche bit into another one, and pushed the box towards her friend.

Persephone plucked one out with her long, elegant fingers and nibbled it while twirling a lock of thick cocoa colored hair around her finger. “You were certainly right about the confections, Psyche, although I must say, I cannot get used to this clothing.”

The Goddess of the Soul stretched one leg out in front of her, and wiggled her dainty foot, clad in a bright blue canvas sneaker. “I find them refreshing,” she replied. 

Her friend shifted uncomfortably in her skinny jeans. “I find them constricting. How long until your mortal arrives? Hades will be missing me. We have had an influx of new souls recently, and he’s nearly gone mad trying to get them all situated. It isn’t a thing like it was in ancient Greece. Back then everyone was content to just flit about acting melancholy. Now they want all the comforts of home _plus_ cable and internet. Truly, it has gotten ridiculous.” She leaned forward and continued in a whisper. “In fact, Hades has not visited my chambers in _days_. I am considering purchasing an artificial implement of ardor.”

“Oh Seph!” Psyche replied in distress. “Why did you not tell me? I shall speak with Eros the very moment we arrive home. Do not worry, he will set things right immediately. I am sure Hades loves and desires you as much as ever. He just needs to be reminded. Stress is the very devil when it comes to romance, believe me, I know.” 

Persephone took another macaron and munched disconsolately on it. “I certainly hope that is all it is. You know how my mother would crow in triumph if she felt there was the slightest bit of dissent in my marriage.”

“One arrow and all will be well,” Psyche asserted firmly. “My Eros knows what he is about, trust me.” 

The bell over the shop door dinged, and both Goddesses turned in anticipation of the new arrival. Psyche watched as Persephone’s mouth dropped open in astonishment.

“There,” she said smugly. “Did I not tell you? The girl looks just like him.”

Persephone stared in disbelief. “It is uncanny,” she exclaimed. “How does Eros not see it?”

“Oh,” Psyche replied, waving her hand negligently. “You know how men are. If it is not clearly labeled and set directly in front of them with some sort of fanfare, they tend to overlook the obvious.”

“You suspect Ares, then?” Persephone asked, watching the girl as she stood at the counter to place her order.

“Oh yes. The only other option would be Aphrodite, and I have already checked. The girl had a mortal mother. She abandoned her at age six and never looked back. Also, Aphrodite tends to keep her children close, whereas Ares…”

Both Goddesses rolled their eyes. Ares was notorious. He had practically invented the art of being a deadbeat dad. Psyche was tremendously conflicted about that fact. She strongly felt it was probably better that he allowed his offspring to live free of his terrible and bitter influence….and yet… This young woman had grown up without a father simply because hers was busy standing on a hill encouraging the mortal world to war and chaos. It seemed terribly unfair to her.

“What does Zeus say?” the Queen of the Underworld inquired. “Surely he has considered the implications of whom she has taken as a lover.” 

Psyche smiled in satisfaction. “That is the best part. Zeus is considering granting them both full immortality...if only to irritate Odin. Everyone knows there is no love lost there. The Allfather has been a thorn in his side for countless millennia. All that pompous bluster, and constant manipulative behavior with his own children. Zeus has no patience for it. You know how he feels about family. There is nothing more sacred. Eros says that is why he has not tossed Hermes out on his ear yet. Zeus believes there is a chance for him to redeem himself.”

“Zeus has always had a blind spot for his youngest. Although, my heart aches for Hermes at times despite his foolish behavior. Immortality spent alone is no life. Look at Artemis. All that posturing, and where has it gotten her? She is turning into the Miss Havisham of Mount Olympus. All those cats. It is unseemly. Her temple has begun to resemble an animal shelter,” Persephone sniffed.

“Truly. Do not get me started on her. Just last week Eros and I went to our favorite glade to enjoy one another, and found it full of quivers. Apparently she felt it was suited for keeping her weaponry. Can you imagine?”

Persephone laughed. “Did Hera not once have aspirations of her choosing Loki?”

“Oh yes,” Psyche giggled. “Hera and Odin both wanted it. Eros says Loki dodged the proverbial bullet there. Artemis ended up throwing herself at Thor, and he could not have been less interested in her. If you ask me, that is where all this nonsense about choosing to remain a virgin began. Miss Havisham indeed.” 

“Oooh,” Persephone said excitedly under her breath. “She approaches.” The Goddess cocked her head surreptitiously at the young brunette, who was now done paying for her order and was making her way to the door. 

Psyche’s eyes followed the mortal over the rim of her over-sized mug as she took a sip of her cappuccino. She could not wait until Zeus gave her permission to speak with Loki. He must be so consumed with Darcy’s mortality at the moment. Humans were like wisps of smoke to the immortals. It would be so much better for them both when she ascended.

The girl adjusted her scarf and the knit cap on her head, and then tugged the door open, heading back out into the frigid city. She had not been gone longer than a minute when the air was filled with a gigantic roar, and the windows of the bakery exploded inward, spraying Psyche and Persephone with a hail of sharp glass shards. 

The goddesses leapt to their feet and raced towards the door, appearances rapidly altering to their divine state. Psyche turned, wings unfurling and grabbed Persephone’s arm.

“Go for Apollo and rouse Asclepius! NOW! If she still lives, we will need their skill.”

Persephone nodded tersely, eyes huge. “Anyone else?”

“Eros...and…” Psyche paused for a moment, mind racing. “Athena.”

The Queen of the Dead gasped. “You are certain?”

Psyche stepped through the shattered frame of the door into the demolished street. “If ever we needed her, the time is now. Go, Persephone. And for the sake of us all, pray that she lives. I cannot comprehend the horror of what may be unleashed if she does not.”

With that, Psyche raced off to find Darcy, hoping against hope that she found her in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am currently writing the next chapter and it is HARD. Hold my hand, guys, because I've got my playlist set to all the angst music, and my thesaurus loaded with all the sad words. 
> 
> Gah.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cause of the explosion is discovered, and the Olympians pay a little visit to New York.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I'm gonna say here is...Athena.
> 
> Just sort of picture a cross between Michonne and an avenging angel and you've pretty much got the idea. You do not want to mess with Athena. I mean, we are talking about a girl who sprung fully formed and wearing armor from her father's _head_. Did I mention that she's Darcy's Aunt Athena? Oh yes. Imagine how happy she will be to find out something happened to her niece.
> 
> Poor Hermes. He is about to have a bad, bad day.
> 
> ****************************************************************

Psyche had never run so fast in her life. As soon as she was clear of the buildings, she darted into the air and began skimming over the rooftoops, scanning the ground beneath for any sign of Darcy. She finally spotted a swatch of rainbowy knitted fabric, and dove back down to the street, landing lightly on a pile of shattered brick and debris. 

The girl wasn’t at the heart of the blast, thank Zeus, but Psyche could see that she’d been gravely injured. As she came closer, the Goddess became more frightened. There was such an amount of blood. 

Darcy was whimpering, pinned down by a piece of rebar, and Psyche could see she’d hit her head when she’d been flung backwards by the force of the explosion. Apollo needed to get there, and soon. Until then, she would do what she could help.

The girl noticed her approaching and held up a hand to ward her off. “Please. Please don’t hurt me. I’m already down. Just...please...” she said in a raspy voice.

Psyche realized with a start that Darcy was afraid of her. Well, it only made sense. Here she was in the middle of a disaster, with no explanation at all, sporting a pair of wings and a chiton. Darcy’s last encounter with an Olympian had not gone well, and she probably assumed they were behind the attack. 

“I promise you, Darcy Lewis, I have no intention of harming you. There is no need to fear me. I only wish to help” She knelt down next to the mortal girl and gently pulled a mitten off so that she could take her pulse.

Things were worse than Psyche thought. Where _was_ Apollo?

There was the sound of feet landing a few yards behind her, and then she heard Eros mutter, “Fuck.”

“Eros,” she said urgently, “has Persephone found Apollo? I cannot heal her alone. We need him for this.”

Eros rapidly crossed over to where she was and knelt down on the other side of Darcy. “The last I saw Persephone, she was going to the Underworld to get Asclepius.” 

He took Darcy’s hand and placed his fingers on her wrist. After a moment his eyes met Psyche’s and he winced.

Darcy looked from one to the other, completely bewildered. “Who are you people?”

The God of Love smiled reassuringly at her. “Friends. I’m Eros, and this is my wife, Psyche.”

“Who? Look, do you know Loki? I need Loki. He can fix this. Just go find him.” She started to cough, and Psyche stared in growing alarm as she saw the flecks of scarlet on Darcy’s lips. 

“Eros,” she said in a low voice, “her soul is fading. I can see it. Perhaps you should attempt to get…”

She was interrupted by the thunder of an approaching chariot, and to her great relief, Apollo appeared with Asclepius and Persephone beside him. He halted the horses, and they snorted and reared as he jumped from chariot and strode over to where Darcy lay, lifting the piece of rebar and tossing it away as if it were a matchstick.

Asclepius was right behind him, and both men dropped down alongside the injured woman. Psyche and Eros moved out of the way to make room. 

“Her time grows short,” Asclepius said to Apollo. “We must begin immediately.”

“Indeed, but which concern is most pressing?” Apollo’s face was grave as he studied her injuries. “I shall take the head, you the chest. The rest must wait.”

The two men worked steadily over Darcy. Hands never stopping. Golden light poured down over her body from where Apollo sat at her head, and blue from where Asclepius attempted to heal the damage to her lungs.

Psyche hung over them, her whole being focused on the pulsing aura of Darcy’s soul as it beat slowly around her. Despite their best efforts, it continued to grow fainter.

The Goddess dropped to her knees, and pulled Darcy’s hand into her own. “Listen to me, Darcy, you must hang on. Do you understand me? We are making every attempt to restore your body, but you must remain with us.”

The girl made a broken cry as shattered ribs knit back together, and the two men healing her exchanged a grim glance. 

“Psyche, we must prepare ourselves in the event that she does not survive,” Apollo said quietly. “Athena…”

“Has already been informed,” Persephone stated, drawing closer to the four of them. “She is expected at any moment should...difficulties arise.”

The Sun God gave a quick nod and went back to his work. 

Color was leaching from Darcy’s skin, leaving her waxy and pale. 

Asclepius frowned. “She bleeds internally.” 

He ran his hands over her abdomen, gently drawing away her coat and pulling up her shirt. Psyche reeled when she saw the dark bruising forming under the mortal’s skin. 

As the light spilled from his hands again, Darcy turned her head and addressed Psyche in a scratchy whisper. “Please. Loki…need him.”

“Yes, and we shall find him for you,” she assured the dying girl. “Eros?”

“Of course.” He leaned over Darcy so that she could see his face, and Psyche was struck by the similarities in their features. His sister. And he was about to lose her without ever knowing who she truly was. “You stay right here until I get back with him. Promise me, Darcy.”

She opened her lips to answer but no sound came out. Psyche felt a tear streak down her cheek, and she hastily scrubbed it away before the girl could see it. Just as Eros was preparing to take to the air, Hermes arrived and landed behind Apollo.

Psyche looked at him in horror. “No!”

He shrugged his shoulders apologetically. “I am sorry, Psyche, but you know I do not choose whom I must escort. I only lead them where they must go.”

“She is with us, yet, Hermes, and I say you shall not have her.”

He shook his head and refused to respond. Psyche frantically searched for any sign of Darcy’s soul, and could only locate the faintest shimmer of violet beneath the brighter gold and blue of healing magic. 

The girl’s lips moved again, mouthing the word, “Loki,” and then she stilled, eyes fixed and unfocused. The violet light disappeared.

Psyche whipped her head up at Hermes, a sickening feeling pooling in her stomach as she watched him turn to someone only he could see. “Hermes, please,” she begged. “Do not take her.”

Persephone settled her hand on her friend’s shoulder in mute sympathy. “You know he must fulfill his purpose. Psyche, I am so very sorry. The girl is for the Underworld.”

“And I say she is not,” a commanding voice declared. The street filled with a silvery glow, and Athena advanced towards them, eyes blazing. “Apollo, keep her breathing. This woman does not die today.”

The two Goddesses beside Darcy audibly sighed in relief. _Finally_.

“Sister,” Apollo inclined his head formally. 

She acknowledged him with a quick nod of her own and then rounded on Hermes. “You!”

He backpedaled, stumbling over the loose brick in the street until he was stopped short by a wall. “Athena...I...”

“Silence! Our father may tolerate your foolishness out of a sense of familial love and responsibility, but I harbor no such tender feelings towards you. This tragedy is of your own making, and you would do well not to anger me further.” The bright haze emanating from her skin grew stronger. 

“I did not know it would harm her,” Hermes whined. “My intentions were only to free her from Loki.”

“You wicked wretch," Athena raged. "If she dies here, you bring destruction upon us all. This woman was meant for him. Who but one conceived by Chaos could truly love and understand it?”

Hermes gaped. “Conceived by Chaos? I do not understand. Speak plainly.”

Athena stepped forward, catching him under the chin with her forearm and lifting him several inches up the wall, so he was pinned by the neck under her leather gauntlet. He struggled and choked. 

“Look upon her, fool," she hissed. "Look, and tell me to speak plainly again.”

Psyche heard Eros make an inarticulate sound of shock next to her as the realization of who Darcy was suddenly became clear. “I am sorry, my love,” she said, taking his hand. “Zeus believed if you knew, you might be inclined to interfere. I wanted to tell you so badly.”

His eyes filled with pain. “I didn’t see it. All that time and I never saw it. How is that possible?”

“You were too close to see it properly,” she smiled sadly at him.

“Athena, the Daughter of Ares yet breathes, but her soul is disconnected from her body,” Apollo interrupted. “Tell me, what would you have me do? She is but a living shell.”

“Do what you must to keep her alive, Brother. While her body yet lives, her soul can be retrieved.”

“A coma,” Asclepius whispered. “It is a clever plan.”

“It is the only strategy available to us at this point,” Athena replied, “and one that I hope will work.”

“And her spirit? What would you have me do with that?” Hermes asked in a strangled voice. “By rights I must take her to Hades.”

The Goddess of Wisdom relaxed the pressure on his neck, and he dropped to the ground, staggering to his knees and coughing. “Do your job, then, Hermes, but attend me well. Lay one finger upon this girl, and I shall tie one of your limbs to each of my horses, and set them galloping to the four corners of the globe.”

“Psyche,” Persephone said in an urgent murmur. “If he is allowed to take her to the Underworld she will be lost. Asgardians cannot travel to the Olympian Realm of the Dead. Loki will not be able to bring her back home.”

Eros listened to the exchange, thoughtful expression on his face. “What if Hermes took her to Helheim instead? Loki could retrieve her spirit from there,” he said quietly.

“Helheim?!” Hermes recoiled. “Have you taken leave of your senses? I do not have any rights to cross over there. Eros, have you ever _seen_ Hel? I’d sooner take her to the Gorgons. Besides, she is one of us, and belongs to Olympus.”

Psyche got to her feet in a fury. She stormed over to Hermes and slapped him hard, snapping his head back. He held his jaw, stunned by the attack from the normally docile Goddess. 

“Darcy may be one of us, but she _believes_ in Loki. That alone grants her entrance to Helheim. Would you deny Loki’s daughter her own? Perhaps she will come looking for the girl. I wonder how forgiving she will be when she finds you instead, Hermes.”

Hermes paled.

“It is decided,” Athena said. “The mortal child goes to Helheim. Let us pray Hel is in a bargaining mood.”

“Loki is her father. Why would she say no?” Eros questioned.

“And Ares is _your_ father,” Athena responded wryly. “Tell me, Eros, how does your relationship fare with him?”

“Point taken.”

“Still, we are out of options. Go, Hermes. Take the girl to Loki’s daughter. I will remain here to contain Loki if the need arises.” Athena flexed her fingers, and a shining sword appeared in her hand.

********************************************************************************

Tony Stark liked to think he’d developed a pretty high tolerance for fucked up things in the past year. Now, faced with what appeared to be a very large, very angry dragon, Tony realized that he was wrong.

He blinked, hoping the whole thing was a product of his imagination.

Nope.

Damn.

The dragon was still there being dragony. It was immense, with a curling, serpentine body, and two wicked horns rising up just above its scaly forehead. 

He’d also discovered the source of the explosion. The monster had apparently tried to eat a gas main. Most of the block had been leveled, but the dragon seemed completely nonchalant about the whole thing. 

The man in the iron suit sighed. What next? Unicorns stampeding in the Lincoln Tunnel? Griffins attacking the Empire State building? This was all getting a bit ridiculous.

He heard a whooshing sound and Thor landed next to him, hammer at the ready. 

“So, dragons now, huh?” Tony said. “There is literally not enough scotch in the entire state of New York for this.”

Thor’s jaw dropped. 

“Yep. I feel ya, man. I made that same face earlier. Any suggestions on how we deal with it?”

The dragon tossed a mangled car up into the air with its snout and then swallowed it whole as the two men stared.

“Maybe it will die of indigestion," Tony wondered. "I can’t imagine a 1983 Accord is good for it. Although, I’m not really an expert on what dragons eat. What about you?”

The God of Thunder swallowed heavily. “Usually, they just eat sheep. At least all the ones I have come across. Sheep, and villagers.”

“Oh, well, that’s comforting. Shit! Dive!”

The heroes threw themselves sideways as the creature greeted them by blowing a volcanic stream of fire and ash from its mouth.

“Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Perhaps we ought to seek some type of shelter.”

Stark looked up at the dragon which was now chewing on a streetlight. “Good plan, man. Lead on, I’m right behind you.”

A few minutes later they were both watching the animal from the relative safety of a bookshop entrance. Tony really hoped the dragon wouldn't develop a sudden urge to read.

He turned to Thor and flipped his facemask up. “What now?”

“I hate to say it, but I think we wait for Loki. He has always been fond of dragons. Perhaps he will have some insight on how to contain it.”

“Contain?” Tony stared at him incredulously. “This isn’t a pet python, Beowulf. It’s a fire-breathing Tyrannosaurus Rex rampaging on 53rd Street. I think we’re a little past the point of containment, wouldn't you say?”

“Did someone say my name?” Loki blinked into existence behind them, and released his grip on Barton and Natasha.

“Jesus Christ,” Natasha said, eyes wide as she took in the dragon. “What the hell is _that_?

“It’s Smaug,” Barton said in awe.

“Who? What the hell are you talking about?” Natasha snapped.

“Really, Tasha? You really don’t know what it is? Remind me to lend you the Hobbit when we get this shit sorted out.” Tony shook his head at her. 

Loki leaned out around the awning to look at the dragon. “Ladon,” he said wonderingly. “What are you doing here?”

At the sound of Loki’s voice, the dragon screamed, head rising and eyes scanning the street. Loki teleported before it could see him. Seconds later, Ladon screamed again and Tony watched in amazed horror as a game of cat and mouse between Loki and the dragon played out in front of them. 

The God of Mischief kept up a rapid fire pace of teleporting around the street, and each time Ladon found him, he tried to fry him with his fiery breath. Finally Loki threw up an army of doubles and used the distraction to return to the bookshop awning. The dragon hunched back over to the lightpost and picked it up between his jaws again, growling menacingly.

“Friend of yours?” Tony asked. “I can see the attraction.” He motioned to the horns rising up from Loki’s helmet. “You two must have so much to talk about.”

“Do not be a fool, Anthony. Ladon is no friend of mine. However, his reaction to my presence confirms who is behind this attack. The dragon was clearly meant for me.”

“Oh good. So glad you know what’s going on,” Tony snarked. “Care to share with the rest of us?”

“Ladon is the dragon who guards the apple tree of the four Hesperides,” Thor answered. “I always thought he was killed by Heracles.”

“Clearly not,” Loki replied, “because there he is.”

Ladon finished the lightpost and turned his attentions to a nearby mailbox. The metal shrieked and bent as his teeth pierced it.

“So what are you saying?” Barton asked. “This is some sort of Greek Mythology thing?”

“That’s putting it very broadly, but yes. If I had to venture a guess, I would say this charming visitation comes courtesy of Hermes.”

Tony gawked at him. “You mean that gilded turd that tried to rape Darcy?”

“The very one.” Loki frowned. “I shall have to kill him now, and Zeus is likely to be very displeased.”

Tony shrugged. “Zeus will have to get over it. Anyone who drops a dragon on my hometown has pretty much declared open season on themselves in my book.”

“Speaking of the dragon,” Natasha broke in, “what exactly do we plan to do with it? I don’t know about you guys, but my training didn't cover giant, fire-breathing, mythological beasts.”

“Loki and I are well versed in such matters, but all dragons are different.” Thor turned to his brother. “How did Heracles best Ladon?”

“An arrow I believe. Although the myths vary.”

Clint lifted up his bow. “Well then, this one is apparently on me.”

Loki placed a hand over the bow, and pushed it back down. “There is no need to kill him.”

Four faces turned to him in disbelief. 

“Um, Loki? There is _all_ the need to kill him. Look what he just did to midtown,” Natasha pointed out.

“Think,” Loki replied impatiently. “He was brought against his will to a world that is not his own. He is confused and quite possibly terrified. The only person he seeks to harm is me. We merely need to return him home.”

Thor looked at him warily. “Brother, can you do that?”

“I cannot. But I am certain that _he_ can.” Loki jerked his chin at the tall figure calmly walking up the middle of the street as if the sight of a giant dragon eating a public mailbox were an everyday occurrence.

Thor gazed out into the street and nearly fell over. The bearded man was striding purposefully towards the beast, eyes fixed on it. He was wearing a toga and a gold breastplate with a purple swathe of fabric draped over one shoulder. In his hand he held a flashing lightning bolt.

Tony looked from the weird guy to Thor’s reaction, and then back to the weird guy. “I’m no scholar of ancient cultures, but I’m going to venture a guess here. Zeus?”

By this point, Zeus had reached the dragon, and it lowered its great head, allowing the God to scratch affectionately under its chin.

“By the Nine,” Thor said under his breath. 

Stark smirked at him. “Want to get an autograph, Thunder-boy? Go on. We’ll wait.”

Barton snorted.

“You guys,” Natasha said in a worried tone, “where are Cap and Banner? Not that I think a large, green hulk would improve the situation, but shouldn’t they have gotten here by now?”

Tony’s brow furrowed. “She has a point. Where the hell are they?”

Tasha pressed her comm. “Dammit, my comm was knocked out by the teleporting. What about yours?”

Barton attempted to reach Shield as well and then shook his head. “Mine too.”

They were interrupted by the sound of crashing thunder, and the entire street lit up in a blaze of lightning. The group turned away, shielding their eyes from the glare. When they dust cleared, they saw that the dragon and and Zeus were both gone.

“Really?” Tony looked annoyed. “That was seriously anti-climactic. Thor didn’t even get his autograph. I want a refund.”

Loki gave him a disapproving glare. “Anthony, why not make yourself useful and contact Nicholas regarding the whereabouts of Rogers and Dr. Banner. I wish to return to Darcy and ensure her of my safety.”

“Go, Reindeer Games, and bring her back with you. We could use her to help direct emergency services.”

The God of Mischief nodded and teleported away.

Tony grimly surveyed the damaged buildings lining the block. “Right. I say we split up, and start looking for survivors. I’ll get on the horn to Nick about the other two, and let him know we’ve got an all-clear for the emergency responders.”

The other three agreed, and he and Thor took one end of the street, while Natasha and Clint took the other. Stark had just gotten off the line with Fury, when he saw Thor freeze and drop Mjölnir onto the pavement in shock.

Tony jogged up behind him, and his blood ran cold at the sight in front of them. Darcy lay on the ground, by all appearances either unconscious or dead, and surrounding her was half the Greek Pantheon furiously arguing with a hipster-looking guy in winged sandals.

Stark felt sick. Loki. Loki was at her place looking for her. And she was here. Possibly dead. Thor looked over at him, face full of dread.

Oh. Shit.

This was not going to end well. Not at all.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm about to play fast and loose with emergency medical response here, and with hospital emergency/ICU procedures/policy in the next chapter. Only because I haven't had first responder classes in about six years, the internet can only tell me so much (and who knows how true it is), and the medical field that I worked in involved dogs and cats not people. 
> 
> Soooo, I'm sure some of you probably know way more about this than me. Just uh...try suspend your feeling of disbelief. I'm probably far more Scrubs than ER. Just sayin'.
> 
> ****************************************************************

The very moment Loki arrived back at Darcy’s apartment, he knew something was wrong. Her table was set for breakfast, but it was clear she hadn’t cooked anything, and the television was off. Her television was never off if she was awake. She said the sound of it kept her company.

He strode through the rooms, banging open the doors of her bedroom and bathroom. She’d showered, he could see droplets drying on the tile, but it had been a while since. Loki quickly made his way to the tiny closet near the front door. Her coat, mittens, hat, and scarf were all missing. 

Loki felt icy fissures begin to crawl across his chest. He needed to think rationally. Obviously Darcy had missed his message, and she was very likely at his apartment waiting for him, and probably out of her mind with worry.

But if that were the case, why hadn’t she called?

Faster than a thought, he teleported to his apartment. She hadn’t been here this morning. He could tell. Yet he searched the rooms anyway, moving from one to the other as pain in his chest grew sharper.

He even searched Tony’s penthouse. Not because he thought she might be there, but because he didn't know what else to do. Loki had just finished there, and was debating if he should go to Thor and Jane’s when his eyes fell on the small desk calendar in Pepper’s office. 

Saturday. His brain whirled back to a conversation he’d had with Darcy when they had gotten back from Asgard last Sunday night. She told him that she was getting the bagels this Saturday. Her treat.

The bagels. The bakery. 53rd street.

No.

Please no.

Fighting back a burgeoning sense of dread, Loki teleported himself to the bakery.

**************************************************************************

Thor and Tony were still watching the strange tableau playing out in front of them, but Tony was beginning to be able to pick out specific details. Like the fact that a very imposing, very attractive man was currently kneeling over Darcy and bathing her chest in some sort of freaky golden light that was spilling from his palms.

Stark had no interest in men sexually, but he was pretty sure he’d do this guy. He was pretty sure _anyone_ would do him. Well..maybe not Fury. But that left just about everyone else.

The argument appeared to be winding down. It looked like they had come to some sort of decision. The dude with wings on his feet, Tony assumed he was Hermes, seemed to be talking to an invisible person. It looked like that invisible person was giving him hell, too. Finally he held out his hand, and his invisible friend must have taken it, because he took off into the air.

Next to Tony, Thor’s body snapped like he’d just gotten a heavy blow to the chest. Stark turned to him and saw his face was full of grief. Okaaaaay…. Thor knew something he didn’t. He hated when people knew things he didn’t. In fact, he was going to rectify that shit right now.

“Um, excuse me…” he said, approaching the assorted members of the impromptu toga party. “Yeah, hello. I was just wondering, and please, don’t take this the wrong way, but what the actual fuck is going on here?”

The assorted Greeks looked at each other for a long moment, and then an extremely beautiful yet completely terrifying woman turned to address him. “You must be the mortal known as Tony Stark.”

Tony was pretty mollified. How about that, they knew who he was on Mount Olympus. Not that he was surprised or anything. They probably knew who he was on Shangri-La too. He was just that good.

“You got me. I’m Stark. And that right there is Darcy. She’s a friend of ours. Care to explain why she’s on the ground getting some sort of New Age light bath?”

“The Daughter of Ares was wounded in the explosion. We are attempting to prolong her life until your physicians arrive,” the guy Tony would go gay for answered.

“I’m sorry,” Tony answered, “but I’m fairly certain that’s the daughter of Amanda Lewis. Or at least that’s what it said on her Shield file.”

“Tony,” Thor interjected in a low voice, “be quiet.”

Really? No one told him to be quiet. He turned to Beowulf to tell him as much, but when he saw the look on his face, the words died on Tony’s lips. “What?”

Thor spoke to the woman who seemed to be in charge. “Athena, is she truly Ares’ daughter?”

The Goddess inclined her head. “She is.”

“And she is alive?”

“Yes.”

It seemed like a large weight had been removed from the God of Thunder. Then his brow furrowed. “I saw Hermes leave with someone. Was it not Darcy?”

A shadow flickered briefly over Athena’s features. “She was grievously injured. We have done what was needed to keep her alive, but we could not keep her spirit tethered to her body. Darcy Lewis goes to Helheim, Son of Odin. It was the only option left to us.”

“Helheim? You sent her to _Hel_?” Thor’s face was ashen.

“If she had gone to Hades, you would not have been able to bring her back.”

He started towards Athena, agitation present in every line of his frame. “We cannot bring her back from Helheim either! No one leaves there. Were Loki to enter, he would not be able to come back out. Even I could not escape!”

Athena looked stricken. “I am sorry. We did not know.”

“You do not tell my brother this. Do you understand me? He must not know. I will find a way to bring the girl home, but Loki cannot be told. If he thought Darcy was lost to him…”

Tony had been silent, listening to the exchange, but now he felt like he needed to speak up. “Whoa, whoa, whoa… Everyone just back it up a bit here. You’re planning on _lying_ to Loki?” He snorted. “Good luck with that. How well did it go over when he found out your dad lied to him? Because I seem to recall him showing up down here with a glowstick of destiny and a plan for world domination.”

“Tony, if he finds out Darcy is trapped in Helheim, it will make what happened with the Chitauri look like a child’s party. Loki has the power to bring about Ragnarok. Do you understand me? The end of everything. All I ask is that you allow me to buy us a little time. I will go attempt to bargain with Hel and…”

Thor stopped speaking as all the Greek deities but Apollo slowly got to their feet. It could only mean one thing. Athena had adopted a defensive posture in front of the lesser gods and goddesses, sword humming almost musically at her side.

Stark took a deep breath, and fought the urge to flip his faceplate down. The last thing he needed was for Loki to think he’d gone on the defensive. God only knew what he was about to do. He and Thor turned around, effectively blocking the sight of Darcy’s body on the ground. 

“Brother,” Thor said as Loki stalked towards them, magic buzzing and sparking around his frame.

“Where is she?” Loki replied, voice low and dangerous. “Thor? Where is Darcy?”

Thor took a slow step forward and began stealthily reaching for Mjölnir. Loki caught his movement, and with a flick of his fingers sent the hammer spinning, where it slammed into a nearby building. Brick and mortar tumbled onto the street from the gaping hole.

Tony armed his suit. 

“Is she dead?” Loki’s burning eyes fixed on his brother’s face. “Tell me! Is. She. DEAD!”

The God of Thunder flinched. He looked like he was completely at a loss for what to do. Stark though...Stark got it. He’d watched Pepper fall to what he thought was her death. Believed she was dead. He knew that look. Knew that pain.

“She’s not dead. Loki? Listen, man, she’s not dead. They’ve got her right here. Just try to keep your cool alright, because she looks pretty bad, but she’s alive. And that’s the important part. Try to hold onto that.” Slowly, Tony stepped to the side, allowing Loki to view Darcy.

He actually saw the God of Mischief’s heart break. And it fucking sucked.

“No. No, no, nonononono. Please…” Loki staggered. The windows up and down the block that hadn’t been ruined in the initial blast blew outwards in an explosion of telekinetic energy, and rubble went flying.

Out of the corner of his eye, Tony could see Athena raising her sword. He motioned furiously at her for her to put it back down. She looked stunned by his impertinence, but lowered it.

Tony started walking forward towards Loki, who was still frozen and staring at the sight of Darcy on the ground. “I’m just going to come over there and get you, okay? And then we’re going to walk over there together. Hear that sound? That's me disarming. Loki, stay cool man.”

There was no sound but the metal and hydraulics of Tony’s suit clicking and hissing until he reached where Loki was standing. The man looked desolate. Tony laid a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “Come on. She needs you right now.”

As they passed Thor, his eyes met Tony’s and he fell in next to them. The small group of deities around Darcy parted as the three men made their way over to her. Once they arrived, Loki seemed to lose his legs altogether, dropping down on his knees and making a howl of anguish that echoed off the walls around them. The two smaller goddesses took an abrupt step back.

“Where is Hermes?” he ground out between clenched teeth. 

Athena shared a glance with her brother. “Back on Olympus. He shall be severely punished for his actions this day.”

“Um yeah, about that,” Tony said, looking from Darcy to the assembled bunch of Olympians. “No offense, but I don’t think that’s going to be enough. It’s not like I’m asking for the guy’s head on a platter or anything, but...oh wait...yes. I am. Or maybe we could just have him stuffed and mounted. I’ve got the perfect spot in my den next to the foosball table.”

“Tony,” Thor said, voice full of warning.

“What? Like you aren’t gunning to have that asshole’s body on a pike right now?”

Thor made no reply except to jerk his head towards his brother.

Loki was holding Darcy’s hand, his other palm resting on her forehead, eyes closed in concentration. A look of perplexity and frustration was growing on his face. Finally he opened his eyes and looked at Apollo.

“I cannot find her,” he said frantically. “Something is in the way.”

“It is the coma,” Apollo answered smoothly. “Calm yourself, Loki. This is just the way of it. Her spirit will grow stronger as her body heals.”

The other deities glanced guiltily at each other, and Tony was infinitely relieved that Loki was so focused on Darcy he hadn’t seen it. 

“She’s not breathing on her own is she?” Tony whispered to Thor. “That guy’s keeping her lungs functioning until help arrives.”

Thor nodded, expression full of worry. “It would appear so.”

“Does Loki know that?”

“I do not know. Loki is in shock at the moment. Tony, I fear for what this will do to him. Just this morning he came to me full of concern over her mortality.”

“Yeah, but she’s half-immortal, right?” Tony argued. “Surely that has to count for something.”

The other man shook his head. “She is human. The children of mortals and gods can be made immortal, but they are not usually born that way.”

The sound of radio chatter filled the street, and Tony looked up to see a team of police and paramedics rapidly approaching. “Here comes the cavalry. Hey!” he shouted, heading towards them with his hands palms up in a display of peace. “We’ve got a girl down over here. Nobody freak out, shit is going to look a little weird, but I promise you, it’s totally safe.” He turned and looked at Athena, still holding a sword. “While I like the whole deadly-yet-whimsical thing you’ve got going on, you’re gonna want to put that away, New York’s Finest don’t really take kindly to sparkly, magical weaponry.”

Athena hesitated briefly, frowning, and then the sword disappeared. 

“You know,” Tony said, taking in her war-like appearance. “I’ve got this friend who would really get your anger-management issues. He’s single. Want his number?”

Before the outraged goddess could answer, they were swarmed by paramedics and police carrying medical equipment and a stretcher. Everyone but Apollo and Loki moved away from Darcy to give them room to work. 

“Sir,” one of the ambulance workers said to the Loki, “I’m going to need you to go stand over there with the others. We need to assess what’s wrong with this young woman.”

The God of Mischief gave him a murderous look, but he didn’t see it because he’d turned back to the assembled crowd. “Does anyone know her name?”

“Her name is Darcy Lewis,” Thor declared loudly, and he moved forward to take his brother’s arm. “Loki, allow them to help her,” he said in a quieter voice. “You do her no favors by keeping them from their job.”

He relented, allowing Thor to lead him a few feet away, but continued to watch with great intensity as the first responders worked over Darcy. Apollo spoke to them urgently in a low tone, and they starting setting up equipment to regulate her breathing.

“I’m going to need the pulse-ox over here,” the first man said. “And get that intubation kit open. This guy says we’ve got no respiration once he stops doing whatever the hell it is that he’s doing.”

For a few minutes it was a flurry of activity as life-saving equipment was ripped open, turned on, and applied to Darcy. When they began to intubate her, Loki started forward and Thor held him back with an arm across his chest. 

“They need to do this. She cannot breathe otherwise,” he assured his brother.

“It is barbaric!” Loki protested, as the workers used a metal guide to hold down her tongue and place the plastic tube in her airway. “They will injure her further!”

Tony watched as they inflated the sides of the tube to hold it in place. “No. They know what they’re doing. Thor’s right, she won't be able to breathe without it.”

As soon as Darcy was hooked up to a ventilator, Apollo removed his hands from her chest and allowed it to begin breathing for her. “There is nothing more for me to do here. Asclepius, Persephone, come, I will return you to Olympus.” He got to his feet, and started for his chariot, pausing as he passed Loki and clasping his shoulder. “May your Eurydice be swiftly returned to you, Loki son of Laufey.”

Loki didn’t respond, still seeming completely shell-shocked by what was going on, and unable to take his eyes off of Darcy. The Sun God appeared to understand and nodded once at the other two men, before continuing on to his chariot with Persephone and Asclepius following him. 

Before she stepped up inside behind Apollo, Persephone turned back to Psyche, “You will keep me appraised of her condition? I do not know when I shall be able to get away again.”

“Of course. Either Eros or myself will inform you immediately should there be any change. Go now, Hades will be missing you.”

She alighted and the chariot took off with a clatter of hooves. A group of police officers stood off to one side, shaking their heads in wonder as they watched it go.

“My wife is never going to believe this,” one of them said. 

Things wrapped up quickly after that. The paramedics strapped Darcy to a backboard, and carried her to the waiting ambulance. Loki stood there as they secured her inside, unsure of what to do. 

Tony gestured to the small bench along the wall. “Get in. We’ll meet you at the hospital.”

Loki started to get in, and Thor stopped him, carefully removing his helmet from his head. Tony felt like it was strong testament to how distracted Loki was that he didn’t bother to make it disappear, and just allowed his brother to keep it. 

“She will survive this, Loki. You have my word,” the God of Thunder promised.

Tony and Thor watched as the doors were shut and the ambulance left, siren blaring. 

“You’re going to go get her for him, aren’t you?” Stark asked conversationally.

Thor gazed steadily after the swiftly disappearing ambulance. “Yes.”

“Cool, cool.” Tony nodded. “Any idea how you’re going to do that?”

Thor pursed his lips and blew out a heavy breath of air. “None.”

**********************************************************************************

Half a block behind them, the three remaining Olympians were deep in conversation.

“I still don’t understand how Hermes got the dragon here,” Eros was saying. “He’s shit with animals. We all know that.”

The Goddess of Wisdom shot him an icy look due to his language. “What are you suggesting, Eros?”

Eros shrugged. “I’m suggesting he had help. Now this is just a shot in the dark, but who do we know that is bitter, warped, has a strange, somewhat creepy affinity for animals, and an undying obsession with a certain Norse God of Thunder?”

Psyche gasped.

Athena’s face grew grim, and she said one word.

“Artemis.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I wanted to tell you that the next chapter took me much longer to write than usual. I started it last night and have been working on it off and on all day. I just finished it about a minute ago, but it is over 3k words and nowhere near edited. I'm still planning on having it up today, but it probably won't be until much later. Sorry about that. Then the next update may not be until either late Sunday or Monday afternoon. (my weekends belong to my family, I'm sure everyone can understand)
> 
> Alrighty! Update Later! Woo!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy's take on events. Loki feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what to say here without giving stuff away. Hmmmm. 
> 
> Today's chapter is brought to you by the letter D and the term BAMF.  
> (Also, remember how I said I was gonna play fast and loose with hospital policy? Still gonna do that.)
> 
> Oh yeah, I think I said this on the last chapter notes, but you know...in case anyone missed it...  
> I probably won't do an update tomorrow. It's my family time, and I'm taking the tiny dictators out to do stuff...and things. So there will either be one Sunday, or barring that, Monday afternoon. :)
> 
> *******************************************

It was absolute pandemonium in the hospital. Victims from the blast were pouring in with injuries ranging from minor to severe, but Loki only had eyes for Darcy as they wheeled her from the ambulance and into emergency.

He wasn’t sure if it was the severity of her injuries or the influence of Shield, but she was promptly taken to a private glassed in cubicle in the ICU, and that is where all the problems began.

Loki was neither her spouse, nor a relative. He had no legal ties to her, and a small, imperious woman was currently telling him he was not allowed inside. He was furiously battling the desire to pick her up and hurl her against the nearest wall. One more time he tried to explain that he had arrived with Darcy in the ambulance, and one more time she waved a clipboard at him while reciting a trite bit of hospital policy in her shrill, piping voice.

He was so very close to losing the small amount of self-control he had left. His head was buzzing, and he could feel his fists starting to clench at his sides. Right about that time, there was a clamour in the corridor behind him and Tony arrived dressed in street clothes with Thor and Pepper following closely behind.

It only took Tony a moment to assess the situation. “Is there some sort of problem here?” he asked the overbearing administrator. 

She pulled herself up to her full height, clipboard at the ready. “Yes. As I was just explaining to your rather rude friend, we have strict rules governing visitation in the ICU. If you are not a family member, assigned surrogate, or guardian, I’m afraid I cannot let you inside Ms. Lewis’ room.”

“I see. Well, I guess there’s only one solution then.” Tony turned around and looked at Pepper. “How long would it take you to produce documents proving that I’m Darcy’s father, and Loki’s her husband?”

Pepper opened her bag and pulled out her laptop. “Five minutes. Three if someone gets me coffee.”

“There. Problem solved. Was there another shitty policy you needed me to get around, or do you have somewhere else to go be a sanctimonious bitch right now?” he asked the woman with the clipboard.

“Tony!” Pepper exclaimed. She looked at him, appalled, and then turned back to the administrator. “I am so sorry. We understand you are just doing your job. Please excuse him. He was raised in the wilderness by wolves.”

The woman sputtered for a moment, face apoplectic, and then stormed off down the corridor, sensible heels clicking out a loud tattoo on the tile.

Tony reached over and pushed to door to Darcy’s room open. “There you go, Reindeer Games. Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

Loki stared at him gratefully. “Thank you, Anthony. I will not forget this kindness.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s not make this weird. Get in there. I’m going to go get Pepper her coffee.”

He nodded and slipped into the room, pulling up a small, uncomfortable chair and folding his body into it next to Darcy’s bed. She was so quiet and pale. Loki reached carefully around the length of tubes and wires spilling over the side of the bed, and clasped her small hand in his own.

Her eyes didn’t open.

She didn’t squeeze his fingers back.

Loki felt his heart twist in his chest. He still couldn’t find her presence, no matter how hard he tried. Darcy was just...lost. He lifted her fingers to his mouth and pressed his lips against them. “Please, minn sváss, come back to me. I will do anything, just please, do not leave me. There is nothing but darkness without you, and I am so alone.”

The room remained silent. Nothing but hiss of the ventilator and the beeping of the machines met his pleas.

Loki dropped his head on her chest, and wept.

****************************************

Darcy was seriously, seriously pissed. Some complete asshat had let a dragon loose in New York. Yeah. A dragon. As in scales, and horns, and a bonfire for lungs.

What the fuck? Who would do that?

She was just about to call it in to Shield when there was a rumbling followed by a roar, and she was flung several yards backwards into a very unyielding wall.

She lost her damn bagels. And her cream cheese. Really, she would have been more pissed about that, had she not been pinned down by a seriously heavy piece of metal across her chest. 

This day had gone to hell in a handbasket. Something warm and wet trickled down the back of her neck. Super. Head injury. God it hurt to breathe. She needed her phone. Loki would fix this shit faster than you could say, “Hey baby, I’ve just been fucking dragoned in Midtown.”

Where was her phone, anyway? It had been in her hand when the explosion hit. Darcy dragged her head to the left, but didn’t see it. She was just gearing up to try the right when a very suspicious looking chick fell straight out of the sky in front of her.

Wings. Of course. Of course there would be some winged fairy-girl, because _dragons_.

Godammit. Next time she was making Loki conjure up the baked goods. It was just so much less weird that way.

Her chest felt bubbly. That seemed bad. God, where was Loki? No. It would be okay. She just had to hold on until he got here, and he _would_ get here. He knew she was getting the bagels today. 

Any minute now, he’d come storming in, all sexy in his helmet, and fix her bubbly chest and throbbing head.

But not if this strange girl killed her first. Darcy had no interest in dying. None. She had lots of stuff to do. Loki had just discovered Nutella, and she had plans that involved licking it off key parts of his body later.

“Please. Please don’t hurt me. I’m already down. Just...please...” 

There. That was totally polite. 

Then the girl said she had no intention of hurting her. And she also, very weirdly, seemed to know her name...and…

Wait a second. Wasn’t this one of the girls who were staring at her in a stalky sort of way in the bakery? Oh yeah. Totally. This was the one with the cool, turquoise Converse Allstars. She hadn’t had wings then. Darcy would have noticed that.

Speaking of wings, there were two of them now, because a very pretty dude had just landed behind the girl who was now kneeling next to her. He looked familiar. Way familiar. 

Darcy’s stomach hurt. In fact, it was starting to hurt worse than her chest. Clearly she was not going to be able to catch a break today. Loki needed to hurry the hell up and make this better.

In addition, the conversation was getting stranger, because oddly familiar winged boy had just introduced himself as Eros, and the girl as Psyche.

Whatever. Darcy didn’t have time for this. These two needed to get her boyfriend there pronto, and she told them so.

Ugh, the bubbly feeling in her chest was so much worse. She coughed in an effort to clear her airways and gagged on the coppery taste in her throat. 

They said they would get Loki, and they they totally didn't. She was never trusting a single Greek deity ever again as long as she lived. Which...you know...if things kept going the way they were, might not be very long.

And now there were more them, with _horses_. Although that tall guy was very hot in a Benedict Cumberbatch sort of way. You know, tall, austere, hair just begging to be tousled. He was no Loki, though.

Benedict and another guy were doing some sort of glowy voodoo to her head and chest. It made her breathing easier, but hurt like a motherfucker. And… Oh dear GOD! Those were her ribs. Ribs were not meant to move around like that. She was sure of it.

Darcy might have done a bit of yelling. And swearing. In front of a bunch of gods and goddesses. Whatever. They showed up to this party uninvited. If they heard a few choice Earth curses that was their own fault.

The wispy looking, non-Cumberbatch was doing something to her stomach now. It felt awful, like crawly worms under her skin. She would have asked about that, but it seemed like her ability to talk was pretty damn limited at the moment.

_Please, Loki. Please, get here soon, because this Olympian version of House was starting to get old._

She could hear the dragon screeching now. I wasn’t that far away, and it sounded like it was chasing someone. Darcy hoped whoever it was would be okay.

The girl who had been identified as Psyche was shouting at someone. Darcy struggled to focus on who had pissed the girl off.

Oh holy shit. This entire situation had just taken the Hell-No Express into Nopetown, because the current arrival was none other than Hermes.

Darcy would have sighed had her lungs not felt so heavy. Then things got even weirder. One second she was in her body, feeling lots of awful, hurty things, and the next she was standing by Hermes looking down at herself on the ground.

She so did not want to be standing near him. He was a total douche. Plus being out of her body was completely bizarre. How could she get back in there? Maybe if she just...

Oooh, but wait. There was a new sheriff in town. And she had brought her own horses.

Seriously, did everyone on Olympus have their own chariot? Darcy wanted a chariot too. She was going to talk to Loki about that as soon as she got out of this mess.

Then there were a whole lot of raised voices and the tall, impressive goddess with badass dreadlocks and a helmet had Hermes pinned to the wall under her arm. 

Darcy couldn’t help but laugh. That fucking twit. He totally deserved it. Plus Athena, because she’d cottoned on to who the commanding goddess was by now, was implying that Hermes had sent the dragon. Poor Hermes, when Loki found out, he was going to remove the messenger’s arms and feed them to him. Maybe he would let Darcy watch.

Why was everyone staring at her body? And why was Apollo calling her the daughter of Ares? What the actual fuck? 

Now Darcy was staring at herself along with the rest of them. Staring at herself...and then at Eros.

No wonder he looked familiar. They could totally have been siblings. 

Jesus Christ.

Well. This was just… Yeah. She didn’t know what it was just. It was very hard to process when you were standing over your own body while a bunch of people in togas discuss how Ares is actually your daddy. She needed a minute. Or you know...ten. Wait until she told Loki. His face! She couldn’t wait.

Hold up. Were they discussing where Hermes was going to take her? Um. NO. She was not going anywhere, thank you very much. Especially not with him. 

“I’m not fucking going anywhere with you, you pathetic ass-monkey,” she hissed at him, trying to keep one ear on the conversation.

“Unfortunately, you do not have a choice,” he muttered back out of the side of his mouth.

She put her hand on her hip. “The hell I don’t. Listen, I’m not some useless Greek damsel waiting around to be seduced by a swan. I’m Darcy _Motherfucking_ Lewis, and I’m telling you that I’m staying right here until Loki shows up. Because he will show up, and when he does, he is going to paint this city block with you, bitch.”

Hermes had the good sense to look utterly terrified.

“Yeah, that’s right,” she threatened, getting right up in his face. “You’re a dead man. In fact, he might just build a stadium and sell tickets to the event. Hermes on Ice. LIVE.”

“You do not understand. Your spirit has left your body. I am required to escort you to Hades. There is no other option,” the god said in frustration. 

“You know what? I’m not even going to wait for Loki. Eat fist, fucker!” Darcy cocked her arm back and swung at his jaw. It should have been awesome. 

It wasn’t.

Her hand went straight through his face like she was made of mist, and she stumbled several feet straight _through_ him before regaining her balance.

Hermes sighed. “I did try to tell you.”

She stood there, totally incensed, while Hermes rejoined the conversation with the rest of them. Shittiest Day Ever. Screw him. The Underworld sounded like it was zero fun. She was getting back in her body immediately.

Darcy stormed over and threw herself on top of her body. Nothing happened. She tried it again. Zip.

Hermes had the nerve to roll his eyes.

She was just about to make a third attempt when something Eros said caught her attention. Helheim? Wasn’t that Loki’s underworld? She thought Hermes had said Hades. Darcy tuned back in just in time to watch Psyche bitch-slap the Messenger God. HA! She totally would have fist-bumped her had she been in her body.

“Darcy may be one of us, but she _believes_ in Loki. That alone grants her entrance to Helheim. Would you deny Loki’s daughter her own? Perhaps she will come looking for the girl. I wonder how forgiving she will be when she finds you instead, Hermes.”

Um. Sorry, what? What crazy talk was this? Loki didn’t have a daughter. He would have told her. Right? Maybe Psyche was speaking metaphorically.

“It is decided,” Athena said. “The mortal child goes to Helheim. Let us pray Hel is in a bargaining mood.”  


“Loki is her father. Why would she say no?” Eros questioned.

“And Ares is your father,” Athena responded wryly. “Tell me, Eros, how does your relationship fare with him?”

“Point taken.”

Okay. Not metaphorical then. Darcy was floored. At some point between, _I didn’t give birth to a horse or father a giant snake_ , he probably should have told her about having a daughter. Unless there was a reason why he was afraid to tell her.

Darcy shivered. Loki wasn’t afraid of anything. If something scared him, it was seriously bad. She didn't like Helheim already.

And while she was on the subject, what about the wolf? Wasn’t there a wolf too? Then she thought of something else. Angrboda. Shit. Was Darcy a Midgardian homewrecker?

She was liking this whole situation less and less.

“Hermes, what about Angrboda?” she questioned urgently. “Am I going to get skewered the minute we get down there?”

“Dead,” Hermes answered. “Why? Didn’t Loki tell you?” He looked gleeful. “Ooooh, it seems the God of Mischief and Lies was keeping a few things from you. How...disingenuous of him.”

“Shut up,” she retorted mutinously. “If he didn’t tell me, he had a good reason. I trust Loki.”

“That was your first mistake,” Hermes countered smoothly. 

“God! Why are you such an asshole? Did someone pee in your heavenly cornflakes or something? Oh hey, there’s Tony and Thor!” She waved even though they couldn’t see her.

Hermes whipped his head around. The minute he saw the two men standing there he seemed to decide it was high time they got going. “Come along. We are wasting time here. I have a service to perform.”

“Don’t you mean ‘The shitteth hath just hit the fanneth’,” she asked with a smirk.

He held his hand out. “The sooner I take you to Hel, the sooner Loki can come get you.”

Darcy dubiously eyed his hand. “Do I really have to touch you?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. But don’t get any ideas. I heard Athena say she’d tie you to her horses if you did, and don’t think I won’t tattle.”

His nostrils flared in annoyance. “You have my word. Now, if you wouldn’t mind…” Hermes wiggled his fingers at her.

Oh well. Now or never. Darcy reached out reluctantly and laid her hand on his palm. His skin was kind of clammy, and she cringed. “Hey, how come I can touch you now, and I couldn’t hit you before?”

He motioned to a small gold cuff around his wrist. “Gift from Hades. It allows me to guide the dead with that hand.”

“Ewwwww! I can’t believe I ever thought you were crush-worthy. You are seriously the worst, Hermes, and I mean that with the utmost sincerity.” Darcy made a disgusted face as they began to rise up in the air. 

“You should stop talking now and concentrate on holding on.” Hermes hovered for a moment and then took off like a shot with Darcy in tow.

He was fast. Like, sickeningly fast. Before Darcy knew it, they were dropping down onto a desolate, frigid landscape that spread out for miles. 

“Where are we?” she asked.

“Niflheim,” he answered grimly. “Helheim is just past that river.” 

Hermes pointed at a sluggish body of water moving along halfway between them and the horizon. 

Darcy shrugged. “So...we what? Walk over there?”

“No. We wait.”

“For?”

He shuddered. “ _Her_.”

Approaching them from the far side of the river was what looked like a woman. It was hard to tell though. Darcy squinted into the distance and could just make out Hel’s silhouette as the tattered gown she wore stirred in the air around her. 

As the woman drew closer, Darcy totally understood why Hermes had been creeped out. Hel was terrifying. She was way tall, with beautiful, striking features on one side...and decaying flesh scattered over a living skeleton on the other.

“Hermes,” Hel intoned, and her voice seemed to come from everywhere at once, echoing over the barren rocks. “You are far from home, Son of Zeus. Tell me, why does the messenger of Olympus visit the keeper of Helheim?”

“Athena wished me to escort this girl to you,” Hermes replied, obviously uncomfortable.

Hel turned her attention to Darcy. Her lips turned up in a mocking half-smile that made Darcy’s stomach churn. “My father’s mortal. How serendipitous to meet you at last.”

Right. This was Loki’s daughter. She needed to get her shit together and be nice. It wasn’t her fault she only had half a face. Maybe there had been some terrible accident or something. 

“Hi, um, don’t worry. I’m not moving in or anything. This is more like a temporary thing. Just until he can come and get me. Nice to uh...meet you by the way.” Darcy held her hand out, and Hel just stared at it until she dropped it back down.

“How very bold you are. I see why my father chose you. He always did enjoy creatures that were hard to control. Come. I shall lead you over the Gjoll.” She wrapped her skeletal fingers around Darcy’s hand and then hissed in shock. “You still live!?”

Hel spun around to face Hermes. “What have you brought me? This girl cannot enter Helheim.”

“Her body is in a coma. Athena bid me bring her to you. What you do with her is your business.” 

“The living death?” Hel shook her head. “I can lead her to the Hall of Lost Spirits, but that is not my domain. Once there, what happens to her is beyond my control.”

“As I said, do what you will,” Hermes sniffed. “The decision to bring her here was not mine.”

“No,” Hel said shrewdly. “You would much rather have had her nearer to Olympus. Do not think your treachery has gone unnoticed, messenger-boy. And do not think it will go unpunished either.” 

Hermes blanched.

“Now go. You have discharged your duty. Leave me to do mine.”

The god didn’t wait for a second invitation, leaping into the air and disappearing from sight in seconds. Darcy couldn’t say she was sorry to see him go, although being left alone with Hel wasn’t exactly comforting.

The goddess gave her a once over. “You love my father?”

Darcy gazed steadily back into her ravaged face. “Yes. I do.”

Hel nodded. “Then perhaps you will find your way back home. Come girl, your place is ready for you.”

She followed Hel around several rock outcroppings to a door set into the face of a mountain. The door opened and they walked through. The chamber inside was immense, walls lined with curtained archways. 

The goddess chose one halfway down the far wall, led Darcy to it, and pulled back the curtain. It revealed an endless hallway full of heavy, wooden doors. Then Hel handed her a spool of ribbon.

“This pathway you must traverse alone. Follow the spool as it unwinds. Do not stray to any doors save the one the thread chooses. That one shall be yours.”

Darcy set the spool down and watched it roll away down the corridor. “How do I get back?”

“The way home will always be within your reach. It is up to you to find it.”

“Could you possibly be less cryptic?”

Hel didn’t respond. She just kept staring at her in a disconcertingly freaky kind of way. 

“Oookay then. I’m gonna go follow this ribbon. Should I tell Loki you said hi?”

Silence. Clearly this audience was over. Darcy turned her back on the taciturn Hel, and started down the hall. It felt like she had been walking forever when she finally came to the end of the spool. The door in front of her was identical to all the others.

Darcy took a deep breath, turned the handle, and stepped inside.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy in Helheim. (Plus our least favorite Greek duo.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the other day [LicieOIC](http://archiveofourown.org/users/LicieOIC/pseuds/LicieOIC) and I were chatting, and she excitedly told me she had been thinking of what I said about Darcy in Helheim and had an idea for how it should look. 
> 
> Her idea was amazing. After a discussion where lots of things were tweaked and figured out, I incorporated it into the story. So Licie, this chapter is for you. Thank you so much, woman! You are a genius. (also, she's a super-talented and awesome author, if you haven't read her stuff you should)
> 
> Anyway, this chapter isn't huge, but I decided to break down the larger one and give you something to read today instead of waiting through the weekend. Hope that's okay with everyone. :)
> 
> ******************************************************

It was dark on the other side of the door, and cold. Darcy wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. As she stood there, she heard an electric fizzing and popping noise above her. She looked up and a long rectangular shape that looked like a billboard began to light up. Smaller lights started to come on as well. All dim, but enough that she could see where she was.

And she was… Well… That was weird. It felt like she knew where she was, but she couldn’t seem to make the words form in her mind. She was somewhere familiar, and yet...not.

Darcy tried to shake the confusion from her brain. There was a reason for all this. She just had to stay here a little while because Lo…

Because…

Because _someone_ was coming. Someone was…

Where was she?

The dingy lightposts illuminated the space around her just enough for her see the street at her feet and the buildings on either side of her. There were numbers on a street sign nearby, but she couldn’t remember how to read them.

The large billboard flared into life for a second, showing a picture of a tall, handsome man standing in some sort of strange boat. Then it crackled and faded back out. She felt a deep sense of loss the minute it went dark again, but couldn’t explain why.

Unable to think of anything else to do, Darcy began walking. Empty windows loomed creepily as she continued up the pavement. More billboards buzzed into life around her. One showed a static image of a blurry house with some sort of tree behind it. Another flickered like a broken film reel, rapidly switching between different scenes. First it was a young woman with long hair holding a piece of electronic equipment and shouting, then a man in a restaurant smashing a cup. Finally it showed a figure standing with his back to her, wearing a helmet with long, curving horns and holding a scary looking staff, before the reel started over again. 

She watched it a long time. It ran and ran, and the images it showed weren’t always the same. Sometimes they came to life like an actual movie. Those were the ones she liked best. They tended to feature the handsome man with dark hair who often wore the helmet.

It was around that time that Darcy noticed none of the pictures had color. Nothing did. The landscape was completely grayscale. She couldn’t even bring to mind what color looked like. That knowledge had been there once, she knew it, but now it was simply gone. 

Darcy had to get out of here. There was such a sense of wrongness to the place. She started to run, footsteps loud in the silent street. As she reached the end of the block she felt relief. Maybe whatever was beyond would make more sense. She jogged around the last building, turned the corner, and found herself at the top of the same street again. The scene before her wavered as frustrated tears filled her eyes. Why couldn’t she _remember_ anything?

For instance, this thing was a called a door. She knew that. Darcy slapped her hand on the solid surface. However, she also knew it had been a color once, and that part was completely gone. The place she was in had a name too, but that was gone as well. And she, _she_ had a name, but whatever it was had been lost along with everything else.

God, this was a nightmare. She wanted to leave. Starting up the street for the second time, Darcy noticed there was a light on in one of the shop fronts. She rubbed a film of grime off the glass, and peered in the window. It looked like a place that sold food, but the cases were empty. There was a single, naked bulb hanging over a small, round table. 

Darcy pulled the door open and stepped inside. It was warmer in here, not inviting, but better than the street. She padded over to the table, and as she watched, a sketchpad and a charcoal drawing set appeared on its surface. 

She had liked to do this once. At least, it felt as if she had. She wasn't really sure. There was no harm in sitting down for a minute, and at least she'd be out of that eerie street. Besides, it wasn’t like she had a lot of options open to her for entertainment right now. Darcy pulled a chair around so she was facing out the windows where she could see the flickering signs across the street, and began to draw.

**************************************************************

Hermes was irritated. He’d not gone back to Olympus after leaving Darcy with Hel. Returning instead to the safehouse he and Artemis had chosen after they had made their plans. Artemis had been furious when he got back. She had paced up and down in the spacious living room, berating him for it all having fallen apart.

He could not believe she was laying the blame on him. How was he to know Ladon would not seek out Loki and Jane directly? Hermes had taken the dragon exactly where Artemis had said. It was not _his_ fault the beast ignored her instructions once it got there. She was the one with power over animals, not him. 

“I never should have left a task like this in the hands of a fool such as you,” she was snarling. “The mortal woman Thor has chosen still lives, and Loki is free to punish us as he will. You know he will come, Hermes. Your responsibility was to end him, and you have failed. We are as good as dead.”

“Calm yourself, Artemis,” he snapped back, examining the gold cuff on his wrist. “No one knows where we are. Why consider this a failure until we have truly failed? There are other ways to rid us of…”

The angry goddess stalked over to him and thrust her face into his. “Idiot! All of Olympus is aware of our hand in this by now. It is only a matter of time until they seek us out. Think you that Ares will be forgiving? You nearly murdered his child, and she may yet die. Even worse, you have involved Hel in this. If she realizes this was a plot against Loki, our fate is sealed.”

He was not about to tell her that Hel had made it very clear she knew. Hermes didn't even want to think of that. “Ares knows nothing of the girl,” he said sullenly.

“Ares knows _everything_ of the girl. Do not mistake his absence in her life for indifference. Although, you will beg for his tender mercies should Hel discover where we are.” Artemis leaned back, a weary look clouding her features. “It was a clever trick Athena played on you, sending the girl to her. Now she is sure to seek you out.”

Hermes glared at her. “She certainly will if you keep saying her name. Have you no sense of self-preservation? Do not draw her attention here. We shouldn’t even speak of her.”

“Oh yes? Loki tried that to protect his pet mortal from the monster he calls his daughter as well, and yet she is in Helheim as we speak.” The Goddess of the Hunt folded her arms over her chest and turned to gaze out the window. “Is it any wonder Thor did not wish him to know where she had been sent? The Goddess of Death does not take kindly to those who would mar the memory of the one she considers her mother.”

The Messenger God seemed taken aback. “You think she will harm Darcy? She did not seem to wish the girl ill.”

Artemis just shook her head at him. “Foolish Hermes, one does not sneer at a gift. How pleased she must have been. You brought her just what she wanted. Anyone wishing to free the girl now will have to bargain with Hel, and you know how that usually ends.”

“I did not think…”

“No,” she replied, cutting him off. “You did not, and now here we are. Go to bed, Hermes. Go to bed and I shall try to discover a way out of the shambles you have made of this.”

Dismissed, Hermes strode out of the room and threw himself down onto his bed, falling into a fitful sleep. In his dreams he was back on Olympus, in his own estate. He wandered through the forest, enjoying the sun falling gently through the trees above. 

As he moved further through the brush, a cloying scent of death began to pervade the place, filling his nostrils and making him gag. He heard the whisper of footsteps, and spun around, but nothing was there. Moments later came the chilling sound of a low, gleeful laugh. This time when he turned, he saw a flash of tattered cloth disappearing behind some bracken. 

Hermes began to run. The thing stalking him swiftly gave chase. He increased his speed, and felt fingers snatch at the back of his toga. Then there was more laughter, coming from everywhere and ringing off the trees. He took to the air, trying to evade whatever it was that pursued him.

A cold, slimy hand brushed his ankle, nails raking over the skin and catching on his sandal. He fought to break free, kicking at whatever held him, unable in his horror to look down and face it. The grip broke, and he rose into the air with a jerk.

Hermes woke screaming. He flung himself off the bed and took a defensive posture against the wall. His room was empty, but filled with the stench of decay. It was then that he noticed the warm blood trickling down his foot, and the broken strap of his sandal flapping uselessly along the side of the sole. He began to quake in terror.

His warning to Artemis rung in his ears. Hermes had been right. Hel had found them.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor!  
> (anything else would be a spoiler)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, because I woke up at 4am and managed to get it sorted out. :)
> 
> I want to take a second here for a shout out and thank you to my amazing buddy [USS_Ichabbie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/USS_Ichabbie/profile). For those of you who don't know, she is my best friend and beta'd most of my DW stuff. We would sit in google docs, me writing and her editing/sending me completely inappropriate gifs and images of various British actors to spark my...uh...muse. (So sorry David Tennant, but those gifs of your tongue were necessary to my process...as were those images of your arse, and all those crotch shots.)  
> Without her, I wouldn't have posted a single fic. It was her encouragement that got my stuff off a computer drive and onto a website. She also has access to all my rough drafts, outlines, storylines, and ideas for this fic. (Glo knows EVERYTHING) I have this habit sometimes of going into what she and I like to call a SVOD (swirling vortex of doom). Anyway, I was swirling pretty hard over this story last night and she basically threatened to drive up from where she lives and kick my ass back into gear. Glo would do it, too. She's awesome like that. The end result is that I am no longer in SVOD mode, and I love her.  
>   
> Thank you Phoebe, yes she is. My incredible, platonic lobster. This chapter belongs to you, Glo.
> 
> ***********************************************************

Thor stood on the far side of the glass and watched his brother as he held Darcy’s hand and begged her to come back to him. 

“Has he eaten?” he asked Pepper, who was sitting in one the small, stiff chairs in the hall. 

She shook her head, face full of sympathy. “Nothing for two days. I don’t even think he’s slept. Yesterday someone came to talk to him about possible organ donation and Tony had to get the guy out before Loki ripped him apart. I’m worried about him, Thor. How long can he go on like this?”

The God of Thunder looked at his brother again. He could feel Loki’s anguish all the way out in the hallway. “His body is able to sustain itself without food or sleep for much longer than a mortal’s, but it is his mind that I am worried about. If she does not wake soon…”

He let the sentence trail off. They all knew what Loki was capable of, and they all feared it. Darcy must be returned to him, and quickly. Thor had been wracking his brain for the past two days on how to make the journey to Helheim without the Bifrost. He wasn’t able to travel between realms using magic like his brother. Heimdall had betrayed his king for Thor once. Could he be convinced to do it again?

Thor was going to have to take that chance. The alternative didn’t bear thinking about. He made his goodbyes to Pepper and left for home. There was much to prepare.

On his way through the lobby he was stopped by a little girl requesting an autograph. The God of Thunder began patting his pockets, looking for some type of writing implement, but came up empty. WIth a sheepish smile, the girl's mother produced a bright green crayon from her purse.

“Mom bag,” she explained, blushing a little. “I’ve got everything from Cheerios to band-aids in here.”

Thor gripped the small bit of wax between his fingers and carefully signed the child’s book. “There you are, tiny princess,” he said, kneeling down to return it to her. 

The little girl beamed and darted back behind her mother’s legs. “Thank you so much,” the woman said gratefully. “Casey just loves you. She’s got a toy hammer and everything. You should see her when...oh… Casey honey, come back! Sorry, she’s off. Thank you again!” She chased after her daughter, who had made a bee-line for a display of helium balloons in the gift shop. 

It wasn’t until he had stepped out onto the street, that he realized he was still holding the crayon. The child and her mother were long gone, so he shrugged and stuck it in his pocket. Maybe Jane would have some use for it.

Once he had gotten back to the apartment he shared with her, Thor began gathering together the things he would need for his journey to Helheim. It wasn’t much. He was just buckling himself into his armor when Jane arrived home early from work.

“Hey,” she said, breezing in the door with her eyes fixed on a sheaf of notes. “Any news on Darcy? I was going to go straight there, but I decided to get changed first. We had an accident at the lab, and I’ve got this giant singe mark on my shirt. You should have seen it, though. Fury is never going to let Erik near a fire extinguisher again.” When he didn’t immediately reply, she looked up in concern. “Why are you in armor? Is something wrong?”

He sighed. “Come. Sit down. We must talk.” 

Thor walked over to the couch and patted the seat next to him. Jane warily crossed the room and curled up in the corner opposite to where he was sitting. 

“Why do I feel like I’m not going to like this?” she asked, eyes narrowed.

“It is very likely that you will not, but I must do it nonetheless. Jane, I am journeying to Helheim to return Darcy to my brother.” 

Jane's jaw dropped. “I’m sorry, what? You are going where? And were you even planning on telling me this, or was I just going to get some note? _Dear Jane_ ,” she mimicked his deep voice, “ _I had to go to the land of the dead for reasons. Do not fear. I shall return. Or perhaps I shall die. If so, mourn me well. Love, Thor._ ”

It was the closest he had ever come to glaring at her. “I do not speak like that.”

“Yes,” she retorted. “You do. That’s not the point though. The point is that you were leaving Earth, _again_ , and I was going to be stuck here worrying about you and not knowing when you would come back, _again_.”

“Jane…” he began.

“No, no, no, no, no. Don’t you “Jane” me. You go, I go.” She whirled around and began pulling things out of their coat closet. “I know I put that breastplate in here somewhere…. Aha!” Triumphant, she came back out, holding the piece of feminine armor aloft.

“I am not taking you to Helheim,” he asserted stubbornly.

“Then you’re not going,” she replied. “Or if you do, don’t think you are coming back here afterwards.”

Thor stood up and started to pace. “Jane, it is too perilous! I would not see you in that amount of danger. You are far too precious to me to put your life at risk in this way!” 

She walked up to him and laid her hand on his chest, stilling him. “And that is exactly my point. _You_ are far too precious to _me_ to let you do this alone. Besides, Darcy is my best friend. If she’s being rescued, then I want in. I realize I’m no Sif…”

He rolled his eyes, “If I wanted Sif, I would not be here on Midgard with you…”

“I realize I’m no Sif,” she continued in a slightly louder tone, ignoring his outburst, “but I’m braver than you give me credit for. Let me help. Give me the chance to be a hero for once.”

The God of Thunder folded his arms and looked away, jaw tense. “Jane, if we do this, we may not return. Traveling in and out of Helheim is unheard of, we will likely be trapped there.”

“Then at least we are trapped together. I would rather be trapped in Helheim with you, than stuck on Earth without you.” She slid her arms around his waist, and gazed earnestly up into his face.

He hoped she could tell how very much he loved her in that moment. Frigga would have been so proud of the woman he had chosen. 

“Fine,” he acceded, “but you wear your armor, you stay behind me, and for the love of Yggdrasil, Jane, you obey me if I give you an order.”

“Got it.” She nodded. “Armor, follow, obey.”

“You have no intention of doing the second two, do you?” he asked with an exasperated sigh.

“Probably not.”

“I feared as much. Go. Put on warm clothes. You will need them. I will try to contact Heimdall. If he agrees, we leave the moment you are ready.”

Jane nodded again and headed up the steps to their bedroom. Thor finished fastening his armor into place and then went out on their terrace hoping that the Guardian of Asgard could be persuaded to allow them to cross the Bifrost. 

He hadn’t even opened his mouth when there was a thunderous sound, and the gateway opened up in front of him. “Jane!” he shouted.

“I hear it! On my way…” She came racing down the stairs, hair in a ponytail, and arms full of clanking bits of metal. “I couldn’t figure out the shoulder thing. Help!”

Thor divested her of the pieces of armor and swiftly buckled them onto her body. Then he grabbed Mjölnir and tucked Jane against his chest. “Heimdall! We are ready!”

Within moments they were standing in front of the golden god in his observatory. “We must hurry,” he said to Thor in his booming voice. “Your father no longer trusts me as he once did, and we are very likely being watched.”

Thor nodded, and Heimdall used his sword to reopen the Bifrost. “May you succeed in your task. I shall be waiting when you are ready to return.”

He took Jane’s hand, and they stepped inside.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Jane arrive in Helheim and a bargain is struck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are going to get two chapters today. At least, I'm pretty sure you are. Woo!
> 
> So, here is the first part, and the second part is being finalized right now.
> 
> ***************************************************************************

Darcy was not what Hel expected. The Goddess of Death stood in front of a silver basin full of water, and watched the images of the girl playing over its rippling surface. The mortal finished another drawing, tore it free of the sketchpad and set it up against the wall. Then she sat down and began another.

She loved Loki. Truly loved him. That was obvious simply by the world she had created. Even in her bewildered state, she had filled it with images of the Trickster. He was foremost in her mind despite her inability to remember who he was. There was much to consider here. 

Hel waved her fleshless hand over the water and the scene changed to the man she considered her father.

He slept. She cocked her head, taking in the way he had formed his body around the girl’s in the small hospital bed, mindful of the wires and tubes, one hand resting on her chest. 

A vibration ran through the floor Hel stood upon and shook the walls. Several rocks tumbled down around the entrance to the Hall of Lost Spirits. Their bond was tearing at the very fabric that knit Helheim together. Even the spirits housed there had become restless, and the whole realm was filling with disquiet. 

Another wave of her hand, and third image appeared. Ares on his hill, helm and spear cast aside and head bowed in grief. 

Hel had not bargained on this. She had assumed the girl would be insipid, fickle, not fit for the God of Mischief.

She had been wrong.

Thor was coming to free her, Hel could feel him nearing. It was time to go out and meet him. One final pass of her hand over the bowl and the water vanished. She resolved to let him free the girl if he could, and then smiled as she felt him arrive.

He had brought his woman into Helheim! How very delicious. Oh this was going to be _such_ fun!

*******************************************************************************

Thor held tightly to Jane, Mjölnir at the ready, as he watched Hel approach. She had taken on the guise of a small child with grey hair and blind eyes. He was unsure whether this was to set them at their ease or a ploy to cause fear. With Hel one could never assume.

The eerie little girl came closer, and he could feel Jane shiver by his side. “Son of Odin, you have come a long way to visit family. It has been many years since my eyes have seen your visage.” She turned her attention to Jane. “And you have brought a guest. How lovely she is.”

“Hel,” he replied, eyeing her warily and placing his body firmly in front of Jane’s. “I have come to…”

“I know why you have come, Uncle. You wish me to release the mortal girl my father has chosen.” The milky eyes blinked, and silver hair wafted around her face despite there being no flow of air. “It shall not be easy. She wanders.”

Thor furrowed his brow. “What does that mean?”

“She wanders.”

“Speak plainly, I do not have time for your riddles. My brother suffers, and I would relieve his pain.”

“Come, and I shall show you.” She led them to the same door in the rock that Darcy had passed through, and they followed her inside. 

Hel disappeared and reformed across the room, standing before a large, tattered curtain. “The mortal is not living or dead. She exists in a state of confusion between the two.” With a pallid hand, she drew back the curtain, revealing the long hallway of doors behind it. 

Jane took a step closer. “What is that place?”

“It is neither Helheim, nor the realms above, but a place set just outside them both. A limbo for souls who are released from their bodies without the completion of death. The woman you seek is here. She has created her own world behind one of the doors you see.”

Thor placed a heavy hand on the frame and peered out into the dim corridor. “Free her. Free her and I shall carry her home.”

Hel shook her head sadly, childlike features affecting a moue of sympathy. “I cannot. She is not mine to set free. These lands are outside my rule, and I have no dominion there.”

“Then who does? To whom must I appeal?” Desperation had begun to creep in Thor’s voice. “Tell me!”

“There is no one. This place is desolation. Go home, Son of Odin, tell my father to release his woman to me. I will care for her, and he can mourn.”

He hurled Mjölnir at the far wall. The structure collapsed in a storm of rock and mortar. “You think that is _all_ he will do? Truly niece, should this woman die, my brother may unleash Ragnarök on us all! You must tell me how to save her!”

Hel merely lifted her hand and wall reformed. “I have told you, this place is not mine. If you wish to find the girl, then you must do it on your own. And the task is one of impossibility.”

Jane grasped at this tiny straw of hope. “We’ve dealt with impossible before. What are we going up against?”

“She will not recognize you. Either of you. That is the difficulty, Jane Foster. The woman wanders. You must help her remember so she can find her way out. If not, she remains trapped here until her body truly dies, and she is released unto my care.”

“How do we make her remember?”

“She longs for my father, but cannot summon his name. He is your strongest link to her memories. You must use him, her connection with him.” For a moment, the film cleared from Hel’s eyes. “Please, Uncle,” she begged, placing a waxen hand on Thor’s wrist. “Either save her or release her, I cannot bear her torment any longer. Her heart yearns in anguish for my father, and all of Helheim yearns with her.”

Thor dropped to his knees and gazed into her face. “Allow us to pass, and I promise you, we shall bring her home.”

Hel nodded. Then she unwound a length of ribbon from around her waist and twisted it back up into a ball. “This will lead you to her.” She laid it down on the floor and set it rolling. “Allow it to unwind, follow it. Do not open any door save the one it stops before. Mark me though, Son of Odin, she must remember on her own. So much as speak a name to her, even her own, and she will go mad and be lost in that place forever.”

He gaped. “But how shall we help her to remember if we cannot even speak her name?”

“You must find another way to awaken her mind. I told you it would not be easy. Now you see why.”

He and Jane started towards the doorway, and Hel placed herself in front of it to stop them. “There is one final thing to which you must agree, or I shall not allow you to pass.”

Here it was then. The bargain. Thor knew Hel all too well to hope she’d let them pass without one. “What is it.”

Hel circled Jane, reaching out a small hand to touch her sleeve. “It has been too long since I have had any company other than the dead. Allow your woman to remain behind while you seek the girl.”

Thor knew this would not be all. The Goddess of Death was full of deception. 

“There is more,” he replied grimly. “There always is with you. What is it?”

“Oh, you know me so very well, Uncle.” Hel smiled gleefully. “It is simply this, should you fail, I keep your Jane Foster and you also release Darcy Lewis unto me. I wish for peace once again in my realm, and as long as she remains on the cusp between the living and the dead she will cause agitation amongst my charges." Thor opened his mouth to speak, and Hel immediately cut him off. "Do not warn me of consequences. If her death should bring about Ragnarök, then so be it. I make order from chaos, Son of Odin. Destruction is nothing to me. My father is the Destroyer of Worlds, and I am his daughter.” For a moment her facade slipped and Thor could see the terrifying Goddess hiding just under the skin of the little girl. “Do we have an accord?”

Just as Thor was shouting, “NO!”, Jane held out her hand.

“Deal,” she said. “I’ll stay.”

Hel’s smile grew and she clasped Jane’s hand, sealing the pact.

Thor rounded on Jane in horror. “Jane! No! This is no kind of bargain, and I will not strike it. We will find another way.”

Jane looked at him, face set with determination. “I don’t think it’s your bargain to accept. I’m my own person, and this is my choice. Anyway, you said it yourself. If Darcy doesn’t survive this, Loki will kill us all. What other chance do we have? I’m not afraid. You can _do_ this. I know you can.”

He was ashen. “And what if I cannot?”

She reached up and placed her hand on his cheek. “I trust you. You'll find a way. Go get Darcy and we’ll bring her home together.”

Hel stepped back and gave him access to the portal. “The woman has made her choice. We have an accord. Now fulfil it.” 

Thor pulled Jane into his arms, clasping her tightly and kissing her fiercely. “I will return with Darcy. I swear it.” He faced Hel. “You will ensure her safety while I am gone?”

“Your woman shall be treated as an honored guest. You have my word, Uncle.”

“Your word had better be enough, or know this, Hel. I shall pull Helheim apart piece by piece and you with it.” Then strode out into the hallway, following the unrolling spool of ribbon. 

Hel fixed her ghostly eyes on Jane. “Come mortal, let us watch his progress.”

Jane paused, staring at the small body and childlike features of the creature in front of her. “You don’t really look like this do you?” she asked shrewdly.

“No.”

“Do I _want_ to know what you really look like?”

The Goddess of Death gave her an unearthly grin, “No.”

“Great,” Jane muttered. “Just great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catslovesushi is psychic by the way. She totally called this chapter yesterday.
> 
> Also, question: Do you guys prefer when chapters have names? I usually only do numbers. However...and oh Lord I cannot believe I am admitting this but whatever...I have this uh, _habit_ of going back in stories I like to find the um, _parts_ where stuff happens. I know you know what I mean, because on tsp you can actually see which chapters get the most reads and watching the smut numbers go up is sort of hilarious. Anyway. Naming the chapters does allow people to do this more easily. Or at least it allows me to do this more easily. (Am currently sitting in a corner blushing. Shut up. Everyone does it.) Right. Back to the question. Should I name the chapters? Let me know what you think.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Hammer FTW!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, this chapter is big. Like...five thousand words big. Which is why it didn't go up until just now. For the record, Glo hung out off and on in google docs with me all day. The woman is a trooper. She got me through so many flaily moments.
> 
> I know I wasn't getting back to many reviews today, and I'm really sorry about that. This was just so flipping consuming. I saw them all and I loved them, and I promise I'll answer them. :)
> 
> I'm one tired girl. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. Darcy's POV is going to pick up tomorrow and we'll find out what our resident Sleeping Beauty thinks of the whole situation. :D
> 
> *****************************************************

Jane stood impatiently behind Hel as she filled a large silver bowl with water. “What are you doing?”

“I use this to see.” Hel waved her hand over the water, and Jane watched as colors swirled across the surface, coalescing into an image of Thor walking down the hallway behind the unwinding ribbon. 

“How does it work? Some sort of light refraction that picks up long wave frequencies?”

Hel snorted in derision. She leaned over the basin, intent on Thor.

As he opened up the doorway and stepped inside, Jane gasped. “Wow, that’s… Wow. Look at that.”

They were both silent a moment, just observing the world Darcy had created.

“She really loves him, you know,” Jane said quietly. “I’ve never seen anything like the two of them. They’re so in sync with each other. The past few days have almost killed him.”

Hel turned to look at her. “I have seen him. He mourns the loss of her spirit.”

Jane nodded and gestured at the scene in the water. “Look at what she made. I think she’s mourning him too. That much detail, and she can't even remember who he is? Imagine what she must be going through right now.”

The Goddess of Death shifted her shoulders under the threadbare dress she was wearing. “I do not have to imagine. I am able to feel her emotions. The girl is in pain.”

“Then you know why it’s so important that you let us take her home. She’s my friend. I love her too, and she doesn’t belong here. Darcy is this amazing, vivacious person. Keeping her here is cruel.”

“I do not keep her,” Hel replied wearily. “She alone can release herself.”

“And if she does? You’ll let her go?”

The goddess was silent a long time before replying. “I will. But I cannot promise to be so forgiving to those who have placed her and my father in such a position. They are still deserving of justice, and I would mete it out”

Jane thought of Hermes and Artemis, and all the damage they had done. Her eyes met Hel’s over the basin of water, and she gave her a grim smile. “Good.”

***********************************************

Thor walked for what seemed like hours down the unchanging corridor. The further he went, the more muted the colors of his own body became, until he almost resembled the grey walls and worn wooden doors around him. Finally he realized the ball of ribbon was slowing in its pace. It rolled for a few more feet, and then lay still before a nondescript door like all the others.

Hel had said the world behind it would be a manifestation of Darcy’s own mind. Not knowing what he might find on the other side, Thor turned the handle and walked over the threshold. 

He paused on the other side in shock. It was New York City. To be precise, he was at the crossroads of 53rd Street and 2nd Avenue, the same place where Darcy had been injured by the blast. Unlike the real world Darcy had modeled this one after, the space around Thor was empty and dead. Everything was painted in shades of grey, black, and white. Not a sound broke through the stillness but the buzzing and crackling of a myriad of electronic billboards mounted on top of the buildings up and down the block. 

The large, illuminated signs held his attention. The first one showed an out of focus image of a house, and the second displayed what looked like running footage from a news report of Loki’s speech in Stuttgart. The news footage ended and the billboard went dark, resuming a second later in a shower of sparks and a jerky video of Loki piloting a longboat. The perspective was that of someone shorter, standing quite close by and looking up at him.

Thor realized that these were Darcy’s memories. He slowly paced down the street, watching each one as if flared to life and showed another moment stolen from Darcy. Here was Jane, holding the gadget she had used in their effort to defeat Malekith, and swiftly following after her was a flickering array of Darcy’s friends at Shield. It ended with the first time she had ever met Loki. He and Thor stood next to each other in Fury’s office as she was introduced to him as her new partner.

Each billboard contained some form of Loki, whether a static image or an animated one. Even if others were present, they always included Thor’s brother. Hel had been telling the truth. Loki was Darcy’s strongest tie to her memories. Now he just had to find her and unlock them.

The largest one was facing a small bake shop. It was the only storefront with a light on, and sitting inside at one of the tables with a sketchpad and charcoal sticks spread out in front of her, was Darcy. Thor pulled the door open and stepped inside. She was so intent on whatever she was drawing, that she didn’t even notice he had entered.

The mortal girl was as grey and colorless as the rest of the landscape. Her legs were drawn up, and a sketchpad sat on her knees while she busily drew upon it with a stick of charcoal. The movements of her fingers were almost feverish. Scattered sheets of paper covered nearly every single surface of the shop, and even lined the walls. Thor picked one up, and his heart clenched. He went about retrieving all the others, arranging them into a large stack in his hands. 

Every single picture was Loki. Sometimes it was just his face, other times his entire body or silhouette, but the man she had drawn over and over was undeniably his brother. As he watched, she finished the one in her hands and cocked her head to look at it. He could see pain washing over her features. 

“Who are you?” she murmured, brushing her fingers over the lines of charcoal. “Why can’t I remember?”

Darcy abruptly tore the sheet of paper off the top of the sketchpad and rested it carefully on the table, immediately starting another. 

Thor crouched down next to her and reached over to still her fingers. Her head whipped up, and she stared him full in the face. “Who are you? Why are you here? There’s nobody here, and I should know. I’ve been here for days.”

He curled his fingers around hers. They felt insubstantial, like they might dissolve into smoke at any second. Darcy snatched them away, and peered up at him quizzically.

“Do I know you? I… There is something about you. Something…” She rapidly flipped through the pages of the sketchbook until she found the one she was looking for, then she held it up for him to see. “Look. This is you, isn’t it? Who _are_ you?”

Thor gently removed the sketchpad from her grip and lifted it to his face. There on the page were small renderings of everyone she knew at Shield. Loki dominated the center of the page, but around him were the faces of Jane, Nick, Tony, Steve, Bruce, Clint, and Natasha. And himself. She’d drawn him in full armor, winged helmet on his head, and Mjölnir positioned just next to him.

“See?” she said eagerly, pointing to the picture. “This is you. You even have the hammer thing. How did I draw you if I can’t even remember who you are?”

Her eyes fell to the image of Loki and she lovingly stroked a finger over his face. “I draw him the most. I don’t sleep anymore...or eat, so I have a lot of time to sketch.” Her gaze turned wistful. “I wish I knew who he was. What he really looks like. I can’t even tell you the color of his eyes. I only remember the shape.”

Thor smiled at her kindly. “They are green, like the moss that grows on rocks at the side of a river.”

She shook her head. “I don’t remember what green looks like. I can’t remember anything before here. Where am I?”

His heart bled at the plaintive sound in her voice. “You are lost.”

“Have you come to find me?” she asked, staring up into his face innocently.

“Yes, I have come…” Thor’s voice broke, and he had to look away for a moment. “I have come to bring you home.”

“Oh good,” she said, bouncing up and brushing absently at her grey jeans. “It’s so boring here, and I miss… I miss… You know, I don’t know what I miss. Isn’t that weird? It’s like every time I try to think of something, the thoughts just run away from me. Sometimes though…” She leaned forward and spoke in a confidential tone. “Sometimes I hear voices. They say the craziest things. All about neurological damage, and vegetables. I mean really...vegetables don’t even have brains. How could they have neurological damage? That’s fucking weird, right?”

He winced. “It is.”

“There’s another voice too. My favorite voice. I love it, but is always so sad. It’s a man, and he begs and begs for someone to wake up. If you heard it, it would break your heart. I wish whoever it was would wake up for him. _I’d_ wake up for him. Whoever he’s calling must have a heart of steel.”

Thor didn’t know what to say. It was obvious that she was speaking of Loki, but there was no way to tell her that without losing her to madness. He began to wonder if his task was as impossible as Hel had said.

“So, are we leaving now?” Darcy looked around her impatiently. “Not to rush you, or anything, but this place is as creepy as hell. The sooner I get out of here, the better.” She scooped up the loose pages with Loki’s picture on them and held out her hands for the others.

Thor straightened up, but ignored her outstretched hand. 

“Hey,” she said, voice a bit irritated. “I need those. I thought you said we were leaving.”

He blew an agitated breath out through his lips. “We cannot do that until you remember.”

Darcy looked at him like he had lost it. “I just told you, I _can’t_ remember. I keep trying, but I just can’t. Look, I’m sure once we get back, I’ll remember everything, okay? It’s this place. It’s like...mind poison. I’ve got to get out of here. Let’s just go.”

“I am sorry. These rules are not mine. We cannot leave until you remember. Please, just try, Da…” He caught himself just in time. “Please, try to remember.”

She stomped her foot. “Listen, you overgrown, blonde gorilla, I’m only going to say this one more time. I. Can’t. Fucking. Remember. ANYTHING! Comprende?” Darcy ripped the rest of the drawings from his hands. “You see this guy? I draw him over and over, and I don’t even know who he is! Just that I can’t get his face out of my head. And like I told you, I have his face, but nothing else. It’s like… Imagine your whole world is black and white, nothing alive, nothing bright, or beautiful. And even worse than that, you can’t remember what bright, or beautiful, or even _green_ means. 

She was practically hyperventilating with fury, waving the drawings about in one hand as she stood toe to toe with him and shouted up into his face. Thor lost his patience.

“Green is just...it is _green_! Here, let me show you.” And he carelessly dug in his pocket for the crayon that child requesting an autograph had handed him earlier. When he pulled it out, it shone like a beacon in the darkness, the vivid color almost glowing in his palm. 

Thor gawked at it. He hadn’t expected it to be so brilliant. Why had this one thing not become muted like all the rest? Then his mind began to whirl. Could it be this easy?

Darcy was staring at the tiny stick of wax in awe. “Oooh, what _is_ that? It’s so pretty. Gimme.”

He dropped the crayon into her cupped palms and she brought it up to her face. 

“Oh!” she exclaimed. “I can smell it. It smells like...school. Like the first grade, when our teacher asked us to draw our homes and I spent the whole time perfecting the shape of the pine tree in my backyard.” Her eyes snapped up to his in wonder. “I had a backyard! And pine tree! I remember them!”

The billboard at the end of the block burst into color, the house becoming focused and the tree behind it very obviously a Douglas fir.

Thor swallowed hard and held the drawings out to her in trembling hands. “Do you remember him?”

She took the pictures and her forehead crumpled. “No. I want to. It’s like my whole being knows him, but I can’t make him real.” The excited light began to fade from her eyes. “I want to remember, so badly. Help me. Do you know his name?”

He shook his head, not trusting himself to say anything. 

“I don’t believe you. You know it, and you won’t tell me. That’s cruel. Why did you come here if you were just going to be cruel? It’s just plain shitty of you.”

Thor started to answer and she immediately cut him off.

“Shhhh, the voices.” Darcy tilted her head, listening to something only she could hear. “He’s angry. Someone wants to turn something off, and he’s yelling. There’s a woman yelling too. That woman sounds familiar, her name is something like a spice, but I can’t focus on it. She doesn’t want whatever it is turned off either, and there’s all this beeping. So weird.”

Even more of the light began to disappear from her eyes as she listened, the billboard grew dark and out of focus again, and the crayon dropped from her fingers. He stooped down to pick it up. When he rose to face her again, she was looking at him curiously.

“Why are you holding my drawings?” she asked. “I need those. I’m trying to figure something out. Who are you, anyway?”

His heart sank. It was as if their entire previous conversation had been wiped from her mind. Darcy sat back down on the ground and pulled the stick of charcoal out of her pocket. “Could you hand me my sketchbook?”

Wordlessly, he passed it and the rest of the drawings over to her. 

“Are you just going to stand there like a creeper while I draw? Why are you here, anyway? Nobody is ever here. Go find your own storefront to camp out in, freak. This one is mine.”

Fear began to fill his chest like ice. Loki was the one who was good at solving things, Thor was the one who used a hammer to smash his way out, and there was no way to smash through this. How in the Nine was he going to save her? If her statement about the voices had been correct, their time was quickly becoming limited.

He sat down wearily next to her. “If you do not mind, I would like to watch you draw.”

“Whatever,” she said. “Not like I can stop you, you’re as big as a house.” Darcy looked at him again and narrowed her eyes. “Oh hey, isn’t this you?” She flipped back to the page she’d shown him earlier, and flashed him a triumphant glance. “It _is_ you. Have we met?”

“Yes,” he answered. “In another place, we knew each other well.”

“That’s awesome,” she replied enthusiastically. “Do you know this guy too?” Darcy pointed to the sketch of Loki. “I draw him all the time. Look.” She fanned out the loose group of sketches. “He’s so pretty. See his eyes. I wish I knew what color they were.”

“They are green,” Thor responded absently. “Here, watch.” He reached over with the small nub of crayon and began filling in the eyes on her drawing. 

Darcy watched in rapt attention as the crayon moved over the page. He was nearly done with the second eye when her small hand dropped down over his, stopping his progress.

He looked to see why, and found tears shining on her lashes. She carefully lifted his hand and moved it from the page before running the tip of her finger over one of the bright emerald orbs. 

“You’re wrong about his eyes, you know,” she said haltingly. “They’re not really green. It’s like...a mask or something. Wait, I’ll show you.” 

Thor’s heart started to pound. She picked up her charcoal stick and began to draw, creating striations on Loki’s forehead and cheeks, and carefully smudging the marks to add depth. As the God of Thunder watched, Darcy meticulously recreated each one of Loki’s Jötunn sigils. 

The half-circles on his forehead, the longer marks on his cheeks, they all took shape as she penciled each one in. The more it resembled Loki in his Frost Giant form, the more billboards burst into color up and down the street. 

Her fingers were shaking so hard when she finished that she had to set it down on the table to still it long enough to see what she had drawn. 

“ _Loki_ ” she whispered. The tears streaked down her face. “This is Loki. And he’s… He’s _mine_. Minn hermaðr.” She lifted her eyes back up to the man standing next to her. “Oh my God! Thor! Mew-mew! Where the hell am I? Where’s Loki? Why do I keep hearing him begging me to come back?”

He could have shouted with relief. “You have been lost, Darcy, but I have found you. Come, we must leave this place. I will explain it all on the journey back.”

She laid her hand in his and he gripped it firmly as he led her back outside. As soon as they stepped outside, all the streetlamps began to blaze, and color started to wash over the buildings from the ground up. 

“That’s when he took me to Asgard,” she said, pointing to the billboard that had the what looked like a video of Loki piloting the longboat. “He let me drive that thing too. He also said you decapitated you grandfather.”

Thor snorted. “He would. I suspect he did not bother to relate the circumstances surrounding it.”

“Nope.”

“I shall tell you all about it once we are back on Midgard, for now, I think we should make haste. I do not wish to leave Jane with Hel any longer than necessary.”

Darcy stopped dead in the street. “Wait. Jane is with _Hel_? Are you fucking serious? Thor, have you _seen_ her? Why would you leave Jane alone with that woman?”

Thor rubbed his hand over his forehead, face full of worry. “I did not agree to it. Jane did. It was the condition of Hel allowing us to rescue you.” He chose not to tell her the rest of the conditions. It would only cause needless guilt.

“Jesus. I owe you guys bigtime. So, you said you were going to explain… All those voices I keep hearing, my memory is really foggy on what happened, but I’m pretty sure I was injured by a dragon. Am I nuts?”

“No. Hermes loosed a dragon named Ladon on New York. From what we have pieced together, you were visiting a nearby bakery at the time. I believe it was the same as the one I just found you in. The dragon caused an explosion, and you were caught in it. Darcy, do you remember any part of what happened next?”

“Just bits and pieces. Lots of Greek gods, lots of magic...and… Thor? Is Ares really my father?”

“From what we understand, he is. Eros and Psyche have been to the hospital often. Your half-brother seems quite concerned about you. He is one of the few people Loki allows in your room.” 

“My room? Exactly how badly was I hurt? How come I’m here, and not able to see the hospital? Am I unconscious? Why do I keep hearing Loki calling me? That whole thing about vegetables, and turning machines off...and... Oh my God, Thor, am I dying?” Her brow furrowed, and her eyes scanned his face anxiously.

Thor sighed. “You are in a coma, Darcy. My brother has been consumed with despair over not being able to rouse you. That is another reason why we must return quickly. I fear that the doctors are trying to convince him that you will not wake. He is liable to become violent...or worse.”

Darcy stared at him, understanding beginning to dawn. “He wouldn’t. Not anymore. Loki isn’t like he was.”

“You have not seen him these past days. I believe the fact that you still breathe is the only thing tethering him to sanity.”

She nodded. “Let’s get the hell out of here then. I don’t want to be the catalyst for Ragnarök.” 

“Indeed. Come, I believe the door out was over here,” Thor replied, heading towards the still dark wall at the end of the block. 

As the pair came closer, a faint light began to show around the doorway, giving away its whereabouts. Thor slid his hand over the rough surface, feeling for the handle. 

“Ah, here,” he said, and opened the door, motioning for her to go our ahead of him. “Now we just follow the thread back.”

They walked swiftly, keeping an eye on the length of ribbon as it wound up in front of them. Finally, after a few minutes of silence, Darcy looked up at Thor and spoke.

“Is Hel really Loki’s daughter?” She bit her lip. “I mean, everyone is saying she is, but I don’t know why he wouldn’t tell me. He’s been so open with me about everything else. Even the whole Jötunn thing. It seems weird to keep a child a secret.”

Thor sighed. “You are hurt by his omission?”

“Well, yeah… I just… Doesn’t he trust me?”

“It is not that. He was very likely trying to protect you from her notice. The relationship between Loki and Hel is...complicated. She is not his true daughter, although she considers herself such, and he allows it. Angrboda and Loki both studied magic when they were younger. I do not fully understand how they brought Hel about. Loki once explained that she was trapped in a dark place, and they set her free. Angrboda did birth her, but she was no more their true child than if they had found her wandering in the woods.” 

Darcy frowned. “So they what? Conjured up a baby?”

Thor shook his head. “Hel did not stay an infant for long. When they realized how powerful she was, Angrboda brought her down to Helheim where they ruled together. She remained...fond...of her parents. Angrboda’s death had a great effect upon her. She became possessive of Loki, warding off any potential replacements for the woman she considered her mother.”

“And he thought she would have tried to scare me off?”

“It is more than him worrying that she would scare you off. Hel is dangerous. Loki would not even have spoken her name to you in order to avoid drawing her attention. Names are powerful things when you are a god or goddess. He would not have wanted to invoke hers when speaking with you.”

“You’re saying he was hiding me from her, and not the other way around?” Darcy pondered on this for a moment. “Yeah, I guess I can get that. Loki is crazy protective, and I wouldn’t exactly have enjoyed Hel showing up to have a little chat with me about her daddy.” She shuddered. “The cat is out of the bag now, though.”

“It is, but I do not believe Hel intends you any harm. There was something she said, before she let me pass through to find you. She is not unaware of the feelings you have for my brother, nor his for you. It is possible that her actions in the past were to weed out any who were not worthy. If that is the case, she can have no reservations with you.”

“Thor,” she said, grinning up at him, “did you just say I was worthy of your brother?”

“You are,” he replied frankly. “And more than that, you are good for him. We are all suffering your loss at the moment. I suspect even Nicholas will rejoice at your safe return.”

Darcy started to laugh.

“Well…” Thor said, rethinking his words, “...perhaps not.”

By now they could both see the archway that led into the room where Hel and Jane were waiting, and they began to jog. In no time, the duo reached the doorway and ducked under the curtain. 

“Jane!” He shouted triumphantly. “We have returned!”

Jane ran across the room and threw herself into Thor’s arms, allowing him to lift her up and twirl her around. “I knew you could figure it out! We watched the whole thing in this bowl of water. I think she was using some sort of lightwave transference beam to create the images on the reflective surface. It was amazing!”

He set her down on his feet and she went to hug Darcy, but her arms slid straight through her. “Whoa!” Darcy exclaimed, taking a step back. “Guess I’m not exactly solid anymore. Weird. Thor could touch me earlier. Anyway, if I could hug you, I totally would. You put your life on the line for mine. That’s some seriously awesome bravery right there. Boss-lady.”

“It was nothing,” Jane declared. “You would have done the same for me.”

“Um, yeah, that was not nothing. You are absolutely my hero right now. You and the big guy. Go Team Hammer! YAY!” Darcy did a little hopping dance, and then noticed Hel standing there staring at her. “Oh. Um, sorry.”

Hel cocked her head at Darcy. “You love the Trickster.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement of fact. 

Darcy knelt down so she was on level with the child-like form Hel still retained. “Yes. Very much. And I’m in it for the long haul. Loki is my whole world, as I think you just probably saw. Maybe you and I could call a truce? Because I’m going to be there whether you like it or not, but I’d much rather not feel like there was a target on my back. He’s been put through enough lately without having to worry about that.”

For a moment it seemed like the entire room held its breath, and then Hel reached out and took Darcy’s hand. “We have an accord.”

Thor felt as if all the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. He and Jane had freed Darcy, and they could now return her to his brother with no fear of repercussion. 

“So,” Darcy asked, bouncing on her heels, “can we get out of here, now?”

“You cannot leave like that,” Hel said, plucking a silver ring from her pocket. “I will need to seal your spirit into something so that you may travel to the worlds above.”

“Whatever,” she replied, holding out her hand and wiggling her ring finger. “Hit me. I’m ready.”

Hel slipped the ring on her finger. The moment it slid into place, Darcy disappeared, and a spiral of color spread over the ring, moving and dancing along the silvery surface like mercury. 

Then she turned and handed it to the stunned Jane. “Keep it safe. When you reach the mortal girl, place it on her finger. She will awaken, restored.”

Thor dropped down on one knee and held out his hand. “We thank you, Hel. I will tell my brother of your part in this.”

She took his hand briefly between both of hers. “Go, Son of Odin. Let us not make my father wait any longer for his chosen.”

He swiftly got to his feet and tucked Jane’s arm in his. “Heimdall! We are ready!”

The Bifrost thundered into existence before them, and pair stepped inside with Darcy’s spirit safe within their possession.

***********************************************

Tony was testing out a new suit, when he got the call from Pepper letting him know Darcy had started to breathe on her own. He didn’t even bother to change, just flew straight to the hospital. By the time he’d gotten there, they’d already removed the tube for the ventilator.

He stood outside the room with Pepper, practically vibrating from nervous energy with his facemask flipped up. “Has she woken up yet?”

“No, but they are cautiously optimistic. Look at you,” she said, bumping his shoulder with hers. “You’re practically as excited as Loki was when they told him.”

“Oh, I’m sure he was worse than me. Besides,” he teased her, unclipping one of his gloves so he could wipe a tear off her cheek, “I’m not the one who’s crying.”

Pepper laughed. “Sorry, can’t help it. You should have seen his face, Tony. He was just...overjoyed.” She brushed her fingers under her eyes, and smiled. “I’m pretty damn happy myself.”

Tony was about to respond, when the doors at the far end of the hall opened and Thor came striding in beaming with Jane racing to keep up at his side. Her smile was nearly as big as his, and Stark had the distinct impression between that and the amount of armor they were both sporting, that they’d just been to Helheim and back and had brought home quite a souvenir. 

“You know Pepper,” he said, glancing from Loki who was standing next to Darcy’s bed, to the pair rapidly approaching, “I think we’re about to witness a bona fide miracle.”

Thor gave him a hearty clap on the shoulder before he and Jane both swept through the door to Darcy’s room. Loki spun around in confusion, and Jane carefully set a small, glowing ring into his palm. For a few seconds he just stared at it, and then he lifted his eyes to his brother’s face. 

There was a conversation then, too low for Tony to hear through the glass, and Loki put his hand on his brother’s arm. Thor repeated the gesture on the other side. It was the closest Stark had ever seen the two of them come to embracing, and the implication was clear. 

Pepper waved happily at an animated Jane through the glass and the two women shared a knowing look.

Footsteps clattered on the tile behind them and they turned to see Eros and Psyche barreling down the corridor, hand in hand. “Tony!,” Eros shouted. “You are never going to believe this, but Ares…”

Before he could finish the doors swung open and the God of War strode into view behind him. 

“This is turning into one hell of a welcoming party,” Tony muttered. “Jesus.”

“Shhhh,” Pepper hushed him. “Here come Thor and Jane.”

The couple walked out of the room, still smiling ear to ear and joined the rest on the outside of the window. 

“He asked if we would let him wake her up alone,” Jane said, scrubbing her hand under her eyes. Then she looked at Pepper who was still sniffling, and Psyche who was starting to cry herself. “Well, at least I’m not the only sobbing mess.”

“Not at all,” Psyche replied. “But I must say, tears of joy are the very best kind.”

Tony cleared his throat as Ares reached the little group, and they all turned to face the window. Loki looked at them all once last time, elation lighting up his features, and then he placed the ring on Darcy’s finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we all deserve some snake hips, don't you?
> 
> AWWWWWWWW YISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
> 
>  


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our girl wakes up. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If everyone will please just stand in a group over here --------->
> 
> Awesome. Now hold still. *dumps giant basket of fluff over the entire group*
> 
> There. Our OTP is back together, guys. :D
> 
> And there was much rejoicing.
> 
> ***************************************************************************

Darcy walked out onto the colonnade of their home on the the side of Mount Olympus, and watched the sun rise. She was wrapped in a snowy sheet, the end trailing back behind her, and held a mug of coffee in her hand. A few minutes later, she heard footsteps coming up behind her, and Loki, _not_ wrapped in a sheet, slid his arms around her waist.

“You have no shame,” she teased, leaning back into him.

“No,” he replied, moving her hair out of the way so he could kiss her shoulder. “I do not.”

They stood there a moment, just watching Apollo as his chariot climbed into the sky. When he reached the pinnacle of the mountain, Darcy waved.

“What brought you out of our bed? I missed you,” Loki said, rubbing his cheek against hers.

She smiled. “I was just thinking about waking up. You know, in the hospital.”

“Mmm,” he replied. “One of my favorite memories. Come back to bed, Darcy, and remind me of how it was.”

“You remember everything,” she pointed out. “Usually better than me.”

“True, but I prefer your version of this story.” He slowly began unwinding the sheet from around her body. “Come. Back. To. Bed.”

She turned to face him, loving the look of his fair skin and sleep tousled hair in the early morning sun. “You are just trying to get laid, mister.”

“Of course I am,” he scoffed. “But I also wish to hear about you waking up. Come, minn sváss, I have made you breakfast.”

That caught her attention. “Tiganites?”

“With honey and walnuts.”

“Right. We’re getting back in bed immediately. Chop chop.” She began pushing him towards the bedroom, giggling the whole time. 

Once they were ensconced on the bed, he handed her a round dish full of the small, Greek pancakes. “For my goddess.”

She felt butterflies fill her stomach at his words. “Not yet.”

“Not long though.” A brilliant smile lit up his face. 

“No, not long.” She tried to quell the nerves. 

The ceremony was tonight, and truth be told, it was freaking her the fuck out. There were going to be like, a zillion people, and deities, and visiting dignitary types. However, Loki was so relieved that she was finally getting her immortality, that she told herself to put on her big girl panties and deal with it. Besides, when she thought of her title… Darcy grinned. 

“You are still not going to tell me, are you?” he asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously. 

“Nope. You’ll just have to wait like everyone else. Zeus says it’s tradition. I can’t wait to see your face though.” She shoveled up some honey on a pancake and took a giant bite. “God. _So_ good. Thank you, babe.”

“I believe you were going to tell me a story,” Loki prompted. “I am still waiting.”

“Oh, right. How I Woke Up, by Darcy Lewis. Well, let’s see… Thor and Jane had just saved me, and Hel sealed me into a ring. That part was weird, the ring part.” 

She paused, thinking back to what being in the ring felt like. All her thoughts were intact, and she was happy, and excited to see Loki again. However, it was like she was floating in her own little bubble full of silver light. 

The closer Thor and Jane came to her body, the more she could hear the sounds in the room where she lay. Then there was like, five minutes where everyone was just talking and she could hear them all. That was so frustrating. All she could think the whole time was _Shut up and let me out!_ But of course she couldn’t say anything. 

Then Loki had her. She knew it was Loki, although how she knew that was unclear. It just felt like him. Darcy was in the ring for another second just swirling around joyfully, and then she was surging back into her body like a rushing tide. 

It took a moment to gain control over her muscles again. She could feel it starting with her fingertips and then traveling through her whole frame in a continuous, tingly sort of ripple. She actually squeaked when it hit her vocal chords. A shadow spilled over her closed eyes, and she realized it was Loki hovering above her, waiting.

Darcy inhaled sharply, and with it came the scent of spicy mint and leather. It was everything she had longed for, and missed, and she knew she was already starting to cry even though she hadn't gotten her eyes opened yet. Unacceptable!

She swallowed furiously, fighting back the lump in her throat, and then blinked her eyes open.

Everything was incredibly blurry. She blinked a few more times, hoping she didn’t look as ridiculous as she thought she probably did. It would be truly sad to finally come out of a coma and look like a giant blinky weirdo. That sort of shit would never happen to say...Julia Roberts or Jennifer Lawrence.

Well...actually, it probably _would_ happen to Jennifer Lawrence, but the whole thing would be televised and everyone would find it adorable, like that time she fell up the stairs at the Oscars. Darcy fell up the stairs at Shield on a daily basis, but no one ever remarked on how adorable it was. In fact, Loki usually…

Oh. Wait. Duh. 

Blink. Blink, blink. Things were getting more focused now. Darcy could make out fuzzy shapes with light around them. The closest was pale with dark hair and broad shoulders. She loved those shoulders. She loved him.

“I love you,” she said, voice way more croaky than she would have liked. “Helheim sucked. From now on your daughter can come visit us, because I’m never going there again. Like, _ever_. Seriously.”

She heard his deep, shuddering exhalation, and then he was over her, arms going around her back and face pressed into the hollow of her throat.

Loki was shaking. He was shaking and...oh God. He was sobbing. She suddenly felt a lot less stupid about crying before she’d gotten her eyes open. 

“Hey. Hey, babe,” she said softly, rubbing her hands soothingly over his back. “Those had better be smiley tears and not like, ‘Oh God, she’s back, now I have to hide my new girlfriend’ tears.”

Darcy felt his chest vibrate as he laughed. 

“We will never have a serious moment in our entire lives, will we?” he asked, voice slightly muffled against her skin.

“Loki, you’re the God of Mischief, and I tase people for fun. So, no. Probably not,” she answered. “I really missed you.”

“Oh, minn sváss, I missed you too.” Loki lifted his face and rubbed the tip of his nose over hers. “I found that I was rather lost without you.”

“I know. Thor said you were getting a little Ragnaröky. Bad Loki.” Darcy sniffled. “You can’t just end the world every time I hit a little speed bump.” She reached up and brushed the tears off his face.

“Darcy, this was no little speed bump. Had Psyche not sent for help…” He swallowed hard, and she winced at the desolate look that drifted over his features.

“Yeah, but she did send for help. And I’m right here with you. I promise never to get dragoned while buying bagels again, okay?”

Loki pulled back to look at her, drinking in her face. “I accept your promise. Do try to stand by it. Now, how is your breathing?”

“My what?” She furrowed her brow. “Fine I guess, but I don’t see what…”

That was all the further she got, because his lips were on hers, and his tongue was in her mouth, and she had a fleeting thought that this kiss right here made her horrific stay in Helheim totally worth it. 

Mmm, it was so, _so_ good. She grabbed his collar and pulled him closer, until he was half-kneeling over her with one knee on the bed and one foot on the floor.

Loki was very enthusiastically responding when he gave a frustrated groan and pulled away. 

“Um… NO,” she protested, and reached for him again.

He caught both her hands in his, and brushed his lips over her knuckles. “I agree, but unfortunately we have an audience. An audience which includes your father.”

Darcy froze. She could feel her eyes going round with shock, and tried to make out the vague forms behind the window. “I need my glasses.”

He conjured them up out of thin air, and carefully set them on her face. Then he helped her sit up, keeping his arm around her for support. The minute he had her upright and facing the window, a giant cheer went up behind the glass. 

“So, not lying about the audience then. Wow.” Darcy waved back at all the assembled friends and deities currently smiling and waving at her. “Is the big, scary-looking guy in the helmet my dad?” she hissed at Loki in a stage whisper.

“That is Ares, yes. I believe this is quite an honor. He is not known to leave Olympus except in instances of war.”

“Right. Is he coming in here?” she inquired nervously.

Loki tipped her chin up so she was looking at him. “Darcy, no one is getting through that door without your permission. I promise you that, but everyone out there has been waiting for you to return to us. Anthony has been here every single day, in fact. Although… Actually, I will let him tell you. I can only hope he does it in front of Ares,” he said with a smirk. “Shall we let them in?”

It would be rude to keep them out, Darcy decided. They'd been here for days worrying about her. She took a fortifying breath and grasped his hand. “Yep. I’m good. They can come in.”

He gestured at everyone and Thor pushed the door open. Jane was the first one to reach Darcy and she enclosed her in a gentle hug, trying not to snag any of the wires or her IV line.

“Hey woman,” Darcy said, eyes misting up a bit, “thank you again for coming to rescuing my ass. Armor is a good look for you.”

Jane was a bit misty herself. “Don’t mention it. Next time you can rescue me.”

The two brothers exchanged a glance. It was obvious to anyone who saw it that there would be no next time if they could help it. 

Thor bent down and set the green crayon in her palm, folding her fingers around it. “I thought you might like to have this. Welcome home, little sister.”

Oh, that was just unfair. Darcy slid her fingers up under her glasses to scrub the moisture away. “I’m never going to forget what you did for me, you know. Are you two good now?” She gestured between him and Loki.

The God of Thunder nodded. “We are good.”

She swiveled around to look at Loki. "Yeah?"

He smiled at her. "Yes. I would saying rescuing the woman I love from Helheim resolved any lingering issues."

She smiled back. “Awesome.” Then she shifted so she could see Tony and Pepper. “Hey guys!”

Pepper came forward and kissed her on the cheek. “It is so good to see you up and talking.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Please don’t kill Tony.”

“Um, okay. Why would I want to kill Tony?”

Before anyone could answer, Ares cleared his throat. Pepper slipped away to give him space. 

He moved to stand by her beside. “I am pleased that you are well, my daughter.” 

“Technically,” Tony piped up from the other side of the room, “she’s _my_ daughter. I actually have the papers to prove it.”

Pepper spun around and glared at him. “Tony,” she muttered, “are you _trying_ to die?” 

Ares frowned. 

“Listen,” Darcy interjected, “don’t let Tony get to you. He’s like that all time. In fact, this is pretty tame really. You should see him at work.”

The God of War didn’t even crack a smile. Oh well. She refused to take the blame for that. People who've just woken up from a coma can’t be expected to bring their A-game. 

“Soooo…” she said, looking up at him. “You’re my dad. I’m still kind of wrapping my head around that. I like your helmet by the way, and you know...the spear thing.”

Ares glanced at the weapon in his hand and then back at his daughter. “I shall see that some are made for you.”

“Really? Wow. That’s pretty badass. Thank you.” Darcy was sort of relieved. It was awkward for sure, but so far meeting her dad had gone pretty okay. She hadn’t really expected it to be warm embraces and tearful apologies for past neglect, and he hadn’t killed Tony, so on the whole she was pretty damn cool with it. Although it was kind of mentally taxing. 

It appeared that Ares felt the same way, because he was eyeing the door as if he had somewhere he needed to be. 

“Thanks for coming down to meet me,” she said, letting him off the hook. “Maybe next time, I’ll come visit you. We can get my helmet fitted or whatever.”

For just a second, she saw his lips twitch. SCORE!!! 

“Indeed, daughter, I shall look forward to it.” He turned his gaze on Loki. “I leave her in your protection, Loki son of Laufey. See to it that she recovers. We expect her presence on Olympus as soon as she is able.”

He finished speaking and nodded to the room in general, before taking his leave. Everyone remained silent until the door swung shut behind him. 

“Huh. That was...something. What did he mean by expecting me on Olympus?” she asked Loki.

It was Eros who answered, coming forward and handing a rolled up scroll of parchment to Darcy. “Sorry about our father, he’s a little vague and well…” He gestured towards the door. “...you saw him. Anyway, this is from Zeus. It’s a formal invitation to Mount Olympus. You’re all invited, actually.” He smiled at the group. “And the ones who aren't here too.”

Darcy looked up from the scroll, noticing who was absent from the room. “Yeah, where are they anyway?”

“Side-project,” Tony said smoothly. “I’m sure they’ll be by the minute they wrap things up, don’t you worry. They've all been by once or twice. Cap brought those flowers.” He pointed to a large vase full of painted daisies sitting on the windowsill.

She had a sneaking suspicion the side project had to do with Hermes, but decided not to get into it. Right now, she just felt so damn tired. Hiding a yawn behind her hand, she collapsed back against Loki’s chest. 

“Sorry guys, I know I seem like a big baby because I just woke up and all, but I can hardly keep my eyes open right now.”

“Not at all,” Pepper chided. “You need your rest.” She grabbed Tony’s hand and started towing him out of the room. 

“Tony,” Darcy called after him. “Don't think I’m not getting to the bottom of that thing you said about being my father.”

“Yeah, why don’t you ask your husband about that,” Tony shot back, grinning. “I’m sure he can explain everything, _Mrs. Odinson_.”

Pepper smacked him in the back of the head, and Tony winced. “Just ignore him. He’s delusional with joy. Call us if you need anything.”

They could hear her scolding him the whole way down the hall.

Jane hugged her again, and Thor kissed her on the forehead. Loki didn't seem particularly thrilled by that, but Darcy didn't care. She owed them her life, he could kiss her forehead if he damn well wanted. They left the room hand in hand. 

“Don’t forget to have victory sex!” Darcy yelled after them, and Loki snorted. “What? Someone needed to remind them. You know what they’re like. Now you and me, we’d never forget to have victory sex. Or pre-victory sex.”

Psyche laughed and put her arm around Eros’ waist. “She is definitely your sister. I am just surprised you do not share the same mother as well.”

Eros shook his head ruefully. “They're going to steal our best spots. I can already tell.”

“We shall find new ones,” she assured him with a smile. “Look, I see a cloud just there that is perfect for us. Now say goodbye to your sister. I wish to celebrate this victory as well.”

Darcy's big brother grinned at her. “Thor has already said it, but welcome back, little sister. I can’t wait to show you Mount Olympus. You’re going to love it.” He tapped her on the nose. “And Loki? About the side-project, we’ve got our team on it as well. They won’t get away with this shit. Trust me. I’ve never seen Zeus so angry, and Athena is on the warpath.” 

Loki’s expression darkened and he nodded.

The God of Love took his wife’s hand. “Come on, my angel, let’s go find that cloud of yours. Bye guys. We’ll stop in again tomorrow.”

They left, and Darcy was finally alone with Loki. She tilted her head and kissed him on the cheek. “Babe, I know this bed is super-tiny and all, but do you think you could stay with me while I sleep? I'm sort of scared to let you go after everything that just happened.”

“Darcy,” he said, sliding down the bed and arranging her on his chest. “Where do you think I have been sleeping since you were brought here?”

“Oh,” she replied in a small voice.

Loki kissed the top of her head. “Sleep, minn sváss, and I shall watch over you.”

*************************************************

“And that,” Darcy said, straddling Loki and leaning down to slant her mouth over his, “was the story of how I woke up.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, you guys, am idiot. I initially posted without this note. Okay. Since we've got so many hits, I'm gonna run a little fun contest here. I'll post it on tomorrow's chapter too for the people who missed it. Ready?
> 
> FIND ME A GREEN DRESS!!!!! That's right. Go. Google. I need a fancy green dress. FOR REASONS!!!!!
> 
> And when I say fancy, I mean fancy dammit. Just you know, keep Darcy in mind, because she has a pretty specific style. But other than that, find me something awesome. :D Then put a link, or embed an image, or however you want to do it in the reviews. Wheeeeee!!!!!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermes and Artemis have some visitors. (evil cackle)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super-sorry I didn't post yesterday. I needed a wee break, and this chapter took much longer to tinker with than I initially thought it would. But here it is, yay! Some of you, and you bloodthirty creatures know who you are, have been waiting for this. Heheh.
> 
> **Okay, Super-Important thing - Please Read**
> 
> A really awful thing happened yesterday. Chapter fifteen, which was the one where Darcy and Loki take out one of the longboats (and have uh...throne-sex), totally disappeared. I have no idea why. I cannot find it. This meant that I had to start over with the chapter, because I have this terrible habit of doing all my editing/finalizing in AO3. So, I've been up since 4am trying to recreate the chapter and it is back...but it is not the same. :(
> 
> Because of this, I am really humbly going to get down on me knees here and ask if any of you either downloaded, or copied that chapter in any way for reading purposes. If you did, may I please have a copy of it? I really want it back the way it was. Just let me know in the reviews of this chapter, and we can figure out a way of restoring it. (I'll probably just give you a link to a google doc where you can paste it, or an email address where you can send it.) Please guys. It would so make my day if this got fixed. I am verklempt over it. Tears, people. Tears. Sigh. If you do this for me, I will write you your own Tasertricks oneshot. I swear it. Whatever prompt you want. (And now I am going to go sit in the GCoE and cry, because seriously you guys, this is making my morning a lame and desperate thing. That was hands-down my FAVORITE chapter in the whole story. I want it back the way it was so badly.)
> 
> **#######UPDATE! UPDATE##########**
> 
> SvenYves recovered it, and sent it to me!!!! HOORAY!!!! It is all fixed, and she is getting her own story, or chapter. Whichever she chooses. Everyone bear with me as I squee loudly and do a happy dance. :D
> 
> ******************************************************

Things were not going according to plan. Artemis paced the floor of the latest in a series of safe houses she and Hermes had fled to in order to escape Hel pursuing them. It did not seem to matter where they sought shelter, the Goddess of Death always found them in the end. 

Hermes was a shell of the man he once was, drawn and pale, and afraid of his very shadow. He no longer slept, saying that his dreams were full of horror and death. Artemis had also come to dread slumber, allowing herself only short rests during the day and keeping them moving at night.

Athena dogged their steps as well. Even the mortals had come close to catching them once or twice. She was certain the archer was aware of their whereabouts even now. He had an innate ability for tracking that Artemis would have found impressive had she not been running for her very life. 

She was crafting the strategy for their next move. The Goddess of the Hunt had decided to beg asylum from Poseidon. Her uncle had no love for her father, and he cared little for the doings of mortals. Perhaps he would offer them some protection.

Or perhaps not.

It was a chance she would just have to take, because Hermes was completely useless, and she had run out of options. She sighed, poised over the scattered pages of maps and star charts spread out across the table. They would need to hire a ship. Something small, and quick that she could pilot alone. 

Artemis was in the midst of plotting the distance to Poseidon’s watery kingdom when she heard the sound of scratching within the walls. Hermes, who was sitting on the floor near the window, lifted his head and gazed wildly around the room. As she watched, he slapped his hands over his ears and cowered, whining like an animal. 

Hel had found them yet again. Artemis began sweeping all the precious maps and charts into a nearby satchel, and reached for her quiver and bow. It was not in her nature to be the quarry rather than the huntress. This game of cat and mouse with the Goddess of Death had become tiresome. She wished the woman would either return to her realm or make a stand and fight.

As Artemis tumbled their remaining possessions into various bags and prepared to make their escape, the scratching grew louder. Nails seemed to be raking down every surface around them, clawing their way into the room. 

Hermes was practically hysterical. His body still bore the marks of the various attacks Hel had made upon him in his dreams. The Goddess of the Hunt froze as she saw new ones being scored down his back right in front of her.

And then, just as quickly as it came, everything stopped.

Artemis sighed in relief. Hel was merely toying with them again, then. She had just begun to unsling her quiver when a fetid breath of air blew through the room, and a dark shape started to coalesce before her. 

The Messenger God stared at the shadow forming in front of them in horror and then scuttled into the corner, curling himself into a tight ball. Artemis strung her bow and waited.

The shade unfolded, and grew taller, features shifting into position. Within moments, Hel was standing in their presence, spectral grin twisting her countenance.

Artemis loosed her arrow and Hel whipped her arm up and caught it in mid-air, laughing horribly. She then dropped it to the floor and ground it into dust beneath the heel of her foot. 

“You think to forestall me with your toys? Come, child of Zeus, you will have to do better than that.” She turned and fixed her stare upon Hermes, who whimpered pitifully. “And you. Not so very brazen now, are you, Hermes?” She shook her head in a mocking display of sympathy. “The pair of you have evaded justice long enough, but no matter. I have decided to deliver it unto you.”

“You have no dominion over us, Hel. Get back to the realms of the Allfather where you belong.” Artemis reached for another arrow in threat, and Hel began to laugh.

“What if I were to tell you that I had been granted dominion over you, little girl?” She advanced on the goddess, smiling cruelly, and Artemis began backing up towards the door. “It was a foolish thing to make the Trickster your target. Did you think I would not repay that insult? The mortal woman as well. How stupid you are, Artemis. I have met this Jane Foster, and she is worth a hundred of you. Odin’s son was right to push you away. There is nothing but bitterness and gall inside you.”

“Be still, hag,” Artemis snapped, taking another step back. “You know nothing of me, and nothing of Thor either.”

“I know that he wished to end you when he found out your part in this. The God of Thunder has given his blessing for me to do what I will with you, as has Zeus.”

The Goddess of the Hunt paled. “No! Father would never do that.”

Hel began to laugh. “And yet he has. Both you and Hermes have been placed in my care.”

Panicked, Artemis spun around and ripped open the door, hoping that she might flee to safety and leave Hermes behind with Hel. He had become nothing more than a hindrance. She could move more swiftly without him. 

She flew into the hallway, and ran for the stairs, only to be brought up short by a heavily armed group of mortals and immortals alike. The archer was at the fore, arrow trained upon her chest. 

Artemis saw she was outnumbered and outmatched, but refused to yield, notching an arrow, and leveling her bow at him. Before she could release it, he loosed his, and it struck her in the shoulder. As she attempted to recover, Ares stepped forward, snatched her bow away, and roughly stripped the quiver from her shoulder.

“Brother,” she said, looking beseechingly at him. “Please. I beg you to help me. Truly I had no intention of bringing harm to your daughter. I only wished to…”

Before she could finish, Ares snapped her bow in two over his knee. Then he hurled the split pieces to the floor. “You will get no mercy from me, Artemis. Had our father allowed it, I would have killed you myself. My hand itches for your neck despite his behest that I spare you.”

She looked up at him, bewildered. “We are to be spared then? Are we not to be turned over to Loki’s daughter?”

“Oh yeah,” said the man in the metal suit interrupted, stepping forward to stand next to Ares, “that’s actually the best part. Tony Stark, by the way. And may I say what a complete and total bitch I think you are? I’m with the God of War here on the whole wanting you dead thing, although I believe I asked for your head on a platter. Anyway, as I understand it, you and your little shit of a brother get to spend the next thousand years suffering the same fate you put Darcy through. Only you won’t be in a coma, which, I’m told, will make it all the more horrific for you. It’s not what I would have done, but still, it has style. You have to give Hel credit. What she lacks in skin, she makes up for in imagination.”

Artemis shrank back against the wall. “You cannot do this. Eros,” she appealed to her nephew who was standing just behind Stark. “Tell them that they cannot do this.”

He remained silent.

“Sorry ma’am,” the man with shield answered instead. “but I think you’ll find that we can. We don’t take kindly to one of our own being hurt the way you hurt Darcy. Not to mention the people who died because of what you and your brother did.”

“Cap is right,” Tony added. “That little horse and dragon show you pulled on my turf was a bad idea. Now you get to spend the next thousand years thinking about that in hell’s version of timeout. From what Darcy said, it’s a real nightmare. Can’t say that doesn’t tickle me pink. You two fuckers deserve it.”

Hel entered the hallway at that point, dragging the gibbering Hermes behind her. She threw him to the ground at Artemis’ feet. “Tend to you brother, I grow weary of his noise.”

The Goddess of the Hunt started down at her youngest brother with broken, shell-shocked eyes. “Hermes,” she whispered. “I am sorry.”

He seemed beyond the ability to comprehend her words. 

Hel snorted in disgust. “This one may not survive his punishment. He is already weak.”

Tony shrugged. “I’m okay with that. How about you guys?”

“No objections here,” Clint said, making a noncommittal face. “Bruce?” 

Banner scratched his chin. “Nah. I’m good with it.”

Eros looked at him sadly. “Hermes, what have you brought upon yourself?”

“I’m sorry to say it, Eros, but he’s earned whatever he’s got coming to him,” Steve Rogers replied, shaking his head. 

“I'm fine with it too, but if you don’t mind, I have a little message to deliver from Darcy before they get dragged off to wherever they're going.” Natasha stalked forward and slapped Artemis across the the face. Twice. Then she grabbed the goddess by her hair, and leaned in threateningly. “I catch you anywhere near my friends again, or if i get so much much as a hint that you are even thinking about them, and I will make Helheim look like a vacation in Delphi. Are we clear?”

Artemis swallowed hard, completely shaken. "Yes."

Natasha released her. “I think we’re done here,” she said, turning around and heading back down the hallway. “I’ve got a party to go to, and I still need to pick up my dress. See ya on Olympus.”

“That reminds me,” Stark said, turning around, “Banner, you coming tonight?”

He smiled. “Wouldn’t miss it. Although if something goes wrong there’s going to be hell to pay at the place where I rented the tux.”

Tony flipped is facemask up. “Good. There’s this girl I want you to meet. Goddess of Wisdom. I think the two of you would really hit it off.”

Banner looked slightly terrified. “Yeah. Uh, I don’t know, Tony. Women and I don’t really...”

“It’ll be fine. Trust me. I’m an excellent wingman. Well...actually, I’ve never been a wingman before. I’m usually the guy getting laid, but still, how hard can it be?”

Clint started to laugh, and Tony glared at him. “Shut up Barton, everyone knows you’re only going because you have a crush on the dragon.”

The archer was just gearing up with a retort when Ares stepped into the fray looking highly displeased. 

“We have wasted enough time on this paltry discourse. Hel, I shall assist you in escorting the prisoners to your realm. The rest of you may return to your dwellings and prepare for this evening. Tony Stark, I wish to speak with you later regarding your assertion that you are my daughter’s true father.”

Stark raised his hands up in surrender. “Listen man, I can explain. That was just a joke. More or less, anyway. Actually it’s a bit complicated.”

Ares did not look amused. “Indeed. You shall enlighten me to the humor in it this evening.”

“Yikes,” Tony said under his breath the minute Ares looked away. 

The God of War reached down and pulled Hermes to his feet, and Hel wrapped her hand around Artemis’ wrist. 

“Zeus,” Ares called out in a loud voice, “we are ready.”

There was flash of lightning, and the four disappeared, leaving the scent of ozone and copper behind them.

“Impressive,” Banner said, looking at the spot where the group had just been standing.

“Eh,” Tony replied. “I’ve seen better in Vegas. Now, who could use a drink? I know this great bar about four blocks down. Kind of a dive, but the jazz is smooth as silk. Eros, you in? I’m buying.”

The God of Love nodded. “Absolutely. In fact, the second round’s on me.”

“Not gonna argue with that. Alright guys, let’s go celebrate a job well done.”

**********************************************

Loki sat in the solar of their home in Olympus, waiting for Darcy to finish dressing. She had been closeted away in the bathing room with a bevy of nymphs for over an hour. He did not like being away from her so long. There was a disconcerting amount of giggling coming from behind the door as well. And splashing.

He frowned. She should not be splashing without him. Or giggling. He knew leaving her alone with a pack of water nymphs was a bad idea. They could be getting up to _anything_ behind that door.

Naked.

Five more minutes, and he was going in.

In fact...why wait? Loki quickly created a double and sent it through the wall, chuckling at the shrieks that greeted its arrival.

“LOKI!” Darcy’s annoyed voice echoed through the room. “Knock it off. This whole bath thing is tradition. You can’t send one of your minions in here right now...and… Oh my God, did you just make him corporeal? Stoppit. Just… Mmmmm. He’s got the helmet.”

A few seconds of silence punctuated by soft splashing and the nymphs tittering followed. Loki smirked. He knew her so well. Then he felt her reluctantly push the double away.

“Ugh, Loki, you can’t just do this to me with the whole kissing my neck and touching...other stuff... Seriously. Helmet or no helmet, all these nymphs are watching and…”

He recalled the double with a sigh. “Fine. I shall behave. How much longer will you be?”

“Well, we're pretty much done with the bathing part now, so like...I don’t know. An hour? I have to get into the dress and then they’re going to do my hair.”

An hour. He groaned. “I am going for a walk.”

“Okay babe, I’ll see you in a little bit,” she called through the door.

He had barely stood up from his chair, when there was a clatter of metal at his feet. Loki looked down and saw a pair of bloody golden sandals laying there, the delicate wings near the heels bent and torn.

“Consider it a gift for your chosen,” Hel said, appearing on the far side of the room. “I have given the quiver and bow to Jane Foster.”

Loki lifted the sandals off the floor, and examined them quietly. “They have been taken to Helheim?”

“They have.”

“Do they live?”

She grinned grotesquely. “For now.”

“You have my thanks.” They both knew he was thanking her for more than just the apprehending of Artemis and Hermes.

“You are welcome...father.” She turned her head towards the sounds of mirth coming from the room beyond. “The woman suits you.”

Loki’s expression softened. “We are well-matched.”

“Indeed,” Hel replied, gazing thoughtfully at him. “I will leave you now to your festivities. There is much to occupy me at the moment. My guests require constant attention.” Her eyes lit up with malice.

“I will see that she gets your gift.” He smiled wickedly. “Darcy may have them hung over our gates. She became quite bloodthirsty when she found out who the intended targets were.”

“She is much like her father,” Hel mused. “Blood will out, will it not? So small, and yet so fierce. I believe she would defend you with her very life.”

“And I her.”

“Good.” The Goddess of Death cocked her head, listening. “I must return. Farewell, Trickster. I wish you well.”

Hel did not wait for him to respond, simply vanishing where she stood. Loki set the sandals down on a nearby table, and sat back down to wait for Darcy. Not long now. His goddess. How very right it sounded.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy, Goddess of.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darcy is about to get her goddess on!!!! Woohoo!!!!
> 
> A couple of things... Picking a title was really hard. So many were taken. I finally decided that if it wasn't held by one of the main gods or goddesses on Olympus it was fair game. Otherwise, I would have been stuck with something like: Darcy, Goddess of New Car Smell, and Spaghetti. No, seriously. That's how many were taken. The Greeks had a deity for EVERYTHING. 
> 
> Also, we have a winner for the dress contest, which I've put in the bottom notes. So you can either scroll down and see it, or just wait for the description of the dress and be surprised.
> 
> And in case anyone missed it, SvenYves was lovely enough to send me her copy of chapter 15, which I was able to fix. She's my hero. Thank you so much!!!! This was her prompt: _I love the idea of a chapter of Loki and Darcy discussing how they would like to raise their children. That conversation has to be funny but also super cute. (Loki will have to say something about how he will love their like princes and princesses completely for who they are, because GAHCUTE)_  
>  Heheheheheh. Guess who is getting baby!fic? 
> 
> Alrighty, that's all. Hope everyone likes this chapter. :D
> 
> **************************************************************

Darcy was having an awesome time in her palatial bathroom cavorting with a bunch of nymphs. Although… Okay they could very easily have added an ‘O’ to the end of that word, because some of them were a bit...uh… _friendly_. She’d been politely fending off their advances for the past couple hours. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t like it exactly. In fact, she found it pretty damn intriguing, but she had Loki, and fidelity was important. They’d done lots of totally amazing fidelity-based things earlier. He even went blue for her. Twice. God, she loved him.

Hm, maybe he could make a nymph double of himself later and they could explore all the _intriguing_ aspects of that together. Nymph Loki. Darcy wondered what that would look like. She’d have to ask him after the ceremony. 

She winced as one of the nymphs clipped a hair ornament into her elaborate updo. The ceremony was still scaring her. Zeus hadn’t created a new goddess in forever, and everyone was coming out to see it. Some people she was totally excited to meet. Like Hades. Persephone talked about him so much, and Darcy was dying to finally see him. Psyche said he looked a little like a young Alan Rickman. 

Speaking of Psyche, Darcy had the best time hanging out in Zeus’ top secret war room with her and Eros trying to pick out a title. Zeus sat there with a big sheaf of parchment recording all their options, and Eros, who pretty much knew everyone, pointed out which ones were already taken.

Sadly, she was not going to be the Greek Goddess of Mischief. That was a huge disappointment. She really wanted that one. Apparently Até already had dibs on it. However, there were still a few awesome choices left, and she was totally happy with what they eventually picked. It fit her, and Loki was going to love it.

She giggled as she remembered his suggestion of the Goddess of Oral and Orgasms. Eros said Aphrodite would never let her get away with that, and Loki pointed out that it didn’t matter anyway, because it was true whether she officially made it her title or not.

One of the nymphs was currently sliding a golden sandal onto her foot, the delicate laces criss-crossing nearly all the way to her knee before being tied into a sturdy knot at the back. Darcy pointed her toes, watching as all the jeweled bangles fastened down the front glittered in the late afternoon sunlight pouring through the window. 

Initially she had wanted heels, but once she'd seen these she’d changed her mind pretty quickly. And anyway, there was less chance of her tripping and falling on her face in flats. Hopefully. She was going to have to do that long walk down the center of the Temple of Zeus all by herself. It was kinda daunting. At least she knew Loki would be at the end of it. Wearing his helmet. That helped.

And then there was the dress.

Darcy looked at the glamorous sheath hanging over a dressing screen nearby. Her hairstyle and shoes might have been chosen by the nymphs of Olympus, but that gown was all Loki. She’d asked him to conjure her one a few nights ago when they were standing on the colonnade watching the stars come out. Her request had been for something that melded Asgard and Olympus, with the modern flair of Earth thrown in.

He spent two days thinking about it. Yesterday he had brought her the most beautiful white dress she’d ever seen. After spreading it out on the bed and looking it all over, she had only one small alteration for him. 

Now the gauzy fabric of her dress was green, and she absolutely loved it. It was a Grecian style column with a cut that fit her curves perfectly. Cinched around the waist, and coming up to frame her breasts, was a gold belt that looked a little like the wings on Loki’s longboat. The back plunged to the point of almost being scandalous, and there was a matching gold choker collar that held the bust up. It was floaty, and gorgeous, and she felt like a total goddess in it. 

Then Loki reminded her that she was going to _be_ a goddess in it, and she got this overwhelming tingly feeling all over. Forever with him was going to be awesome. Although, that had been a bit of an issue too. See, technically, Loki wasn’t immortal. He had a really long lifespan, and was crazy tough to hurt or kill, but he would eventually die. She felt like four thousand years was not going to be enough by a longshot. So Darcy had a little chat with Loki and Zeus, and now everything was arranged. 

According to Zeus, Loki was basically like Darcy’s consort. As her consort, he was afforded certain privileges. One of them being her ability to request immortality for him, which she planned on doing the very second she got her title. 

The nymphs had finished with her hair and were holding out the dress, which meant it was almost time for the show. Darcy’s hands started to shake. She’d once asked Psyche if she had gone through the same thing, and Psyche said no, but only because by the time she’d completed everything she had to do to win back Eros, Zeus had taken pity on her and they’d had a very private ceremony in their villa. 

Plus Psyche wasn’t Ares’ daughter. Ares was very old-school, and tended to go in for formality. Sometimes Darcy wished Zeus was her father instead, but then Eros wouldn’t be her brother, and Hera would be her stepmother. Darcy made a face. No thanks. Hera was like the Anna Wintour of Mount Olympus.

She stood as her helpers pulled the soft fabric of the gown over her body and fastened the choker. Then they carefully straightened out the layers of the skirt, and made sure everything was smooth. Darcy looked quickly in the full length mirror. It was perfect. She couldn't wait to show Loki. He hadn’t actually seen it on her yet. Darcy tiptoed over to door and peeked out, all the nymphs trailing behind her and giggling excitedly. 

Loki was seated with his back to her at the small table where they usually had breakfast. She turned around and shooed her noisy entourage back through the other entrance to the bathing room. Then she stepped out and quietly shut the door behind her. 

He heard the click of the door, she could tell by the way he’d gone still. “Hey,” she said nervously. “I’m um… I’m all ready for you to take me over.”

The look on his face when he finally saw her made every second of the lengthy preparations completely worth it. Darcy could count on one hand the times she’d seen Loki at a complete loss for words. This was definitely one of those times.

“That bad, huh?” she quipped, moving slightly so that the diaphanous skirt swirled around her ankles.

“You are stunning.” His eyes swept over her from top to bottom. “There is not another goddess on Olympus who can compare. Aphrodite herself will be sick with jealousy. I have a gift for you, though… If I may?”

He swiftly crossed the room and gently removed the heavy gold earrings from her ears, replacing them with delicate strands of seed pearls ending in a single drop of amber.

She reached up to touch them. “Oooh, pretty! Where did you get them?”

“They were Frig…” He stopped and corrected himself. “They were my mother’s. I brought them back for you from our trip to Asgard, but you were injured shortly after, and then I could not seem to find the right time to give them to you. I thought perhaps tonight...”

Darcy felt tears prickle in her eyes, and blinked to keep them back. “I love them. Thank you.”

Loki cupped her cheek in his palm, expression softening. “You look like a queen.”

“I’d better. It took almost three hours to pull all this together. Check out the sandals. Aren’t they awesome?” She lifted the hem of her gown to show him.

He smiled. “Are you pleased with the dress as well?” 

“Are you kidding? I adore the dress. I may never take it off.”

“I highly doubt that,” he replied, smirking at her.

“Whatever. You’ll just have to work your way around it later, because it’s totally staying on.”

“Care to wager on it?” he asked, and she could see a flicker of blue run over his skin.

“Don’t you dare, cheater. Pulling the Jötunn sex card is dirty pool and you know it.”

He just grinned at her. “If you say so. Come, my little goddess. Ares will have my head if he believes I have made you late.”

She rolled her eyes. “You know, he’s awful bossy for someone who just showed up in my life a few weeks ago. He actually thought I should move into his villa instead of staying here because we aren’t… Loki? What are those?”

The pair of destroyed sandals had finally attracted her attention. She made her way over to the table and stared at them for a long moment.

“They caught them, then?” she asked, voice flat.

“Yes.”

She nodded. “Good.”

Loki walked up behind her and set his hands on her shoulders. “I told Hel you might hang them over the gate.”

“Part of me really wants to,” she admitted, “but it would be cruel to Zeus. He’s really hurting over this. They’re still his kids, no matter what they did, and he loves them. If they had hurt you, though…” She glanced over to where the latest gift from her father was resting against the wall.

“Have you decided what to name it yet?” His eyes had followed hers over to the spear. 

Darcy shook her head. “Still working on that. Besides, I don’t really plan on using it. Not now, anyway. We’re safe. Aren’t we?”

He pulled her back against him, so she was cuddled securely along his chest. “We are safe. I will be relieved when the ceremony is over, though. Loving a mortal is exceedingly worrisome.” His tone was teasing, but she could hear the truth in his statement.

“Best go get it over with, then. God. I am so freaked out right now. What if I trip? Or get the words wrong?” She turned around to face him, biting her lip.

Loki smiled at her. “All you have to say is yes, I think even you will manage that without error. If not, I shall be right there to prompt you.”

“Right, right. I can totally do this. I’m the daughter of a god. I’m the daughter of a god…” she chanted.

“Darcy, we are keeping everyone waiting. You will be fine, minn sváss.” He held his hand out.

“Okay." She took his hand. "I’m ready.”

*********************************************

The Temple of Zeus seemed so much larger than Darcy remembered. She could hear the hum of voices coming from inside, as she stood at the bottom of the steps and tried to swallow down her nerves. All she was waiting for now was Zeus to call her name.

There it was.

She was good. She was fine. Loki was in there, and he wasn’t going to let anything bad happen to her.

Darcy started up the steps, and headed inside. A hush fell over the throng. She glanced around at the assembled guests as she walked towards the far end where Zeus was waiting. There were Tony and Pepper, who was waving at her a little bit out of excitement. And, was that Bruce? In a _tux_. Wow. 

Steve looked nice, but he always cleaned up well. Who was that next to him, though? Sif? Seriously? _Sif_ had shown up? She caught Eros looking speculatively from Steve to Sif and almost groaned. Darcy would need to have a little chat with her brother about that later.

Oh God, and there was Fandral standing next to Natasha with Clint on the other side looking totally put out. Yeah, he had nothing to worry about. The Black Widow didn’t go in for creepy facial hair.

Thor and Jane were further down towards the front, both smiling proudly. Darcy wiggled her fingers at them as she passed, and Thor lifted Mjölnir in salute. 

Then she saw Loki and pretty much everything else in the room disappeared.

He was in full ceremonial armor with a long green cape, and was looking at her in a way that made her knees wobbly. 

“You are doing beautifully, minn sváss. Just a few more minutes and I will walk you out on my arm,” he whispered quietly as she took her place in front of Zeus.

The actual ceremony itself was mercifully short. Zeus asked her if she was aware of the honor being conferred upon her, and she answered yes. After that, there was a little speech about her duties, and what would be expected of her as a Goddess of Olympus.

When he’d finished, Ares stepped forward and set a crown of laurel leaves on her head, and she felt a huge thrill zip through her because this was really happening. 

Once Ares had finished, Zeus took her hand, slid a large gold cuff onto her wrist which represented her new status, and called out in a deep, resounding voice. “I hereby proclaim you Darcy, Goddess of Merriment and Candor!” Then he winked at her and added, “Although she prefers Pranks and Sass.”

Loki started to laugh, and Darcy grinned at him while thrusting one arm into the air making metal horns. The whole temple burst into cheers and applause. Then Zeus totally gave her a fist-bump, because he was awesome like that. Once the cheers died down, Loki came up to stand on the dais next to her. 

Here came the best part, and the hardest words. But this was seriously important and she was determined to get it right. “As a Goddess of Olympus, I would beg a boon of Zeus.”

He inclined his head, showing that he would hear her request.

“I wish to make my consort, Loki of Asgard, immortal.”

Her grandfather smiled at her. “I grant your boon.” Zeus handed Darcy a second laurel crown and she lifted it up to place it on Loki’s head.

“Um, Loki?” she said, trying not to giggle. “You’re gonna have to take the helmet off.”

Somewhere in the crowd she could hear their friends laughing.

He removed it, chuckling at his mistake, and held it under one arm, leaning forward so she could settle the crown on his head. 

“It is done,” Zeus announced, and there were more cheers as she took Loki’s arm and they turned around to face everyone. 

He began to walk her off the dais, and one by one, the Olympians present dropped to their knees as a token of respect. Darcy had no idea they were going to do that, and Loki couldn’t stop smiling at the look on her face as he led her out of the temple. 

“The Goddess of Pranks and Sass, hm?” he asked once they were outside, eyes dancing with amusement and happiness. 

“Do you like it? I mean, it’s officially Merriment and Candor, but Zeus was cool with me putting my own spin on it. He’s way more fun than you would expect for the guy who's in charge of all of Mount Olympus. I told him he should totally do seminars on how to be a cool boss. We could pay for Nick to attend.”

“Nicholas would truly benefit from that, and I love your title, minn sváss. You could not have picked a better one. Tell me, how does it feel to be a goddess?”

“You know, I’m not really sure. I sort of just feel like myself. Should I feel any different? Maybe I’m doing it wrong.” She frowned.

“I assure you, Darcy, you are ‘doing it’ perfectly. Remind me to show you something later, when we are alone.” He gave her a look that promised all sorts of naughty things, and she wished that they could go home right away to find out what he was talking about.

“Is this party mandatory?” she asked, looking at the rows of low chaise lounge-type things set up on the grass with tables laid out in front of them. 

He laughed. “Yes. Speaking of which, here come your guests.”

She watched as everyone began surging out of the temple in a bright, chattering throng. Dionysus was leading the charge, glass of wine held aloft in one hand.

“This is going to be insane, isn’t it?”

Loki slid an arm around her as Tony and rest of their friends from Shield spilled out right behind the tipsy god. “I believe so.”

“Wouldn’t want to miss that.”

“No.”

A smile began to curl up the corners of her lips. “Fine then. We can stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay everyone, I have picked a dress!!!
> 
> It was super hard. Seriously. It finally came down to three.  
> 
> 
> And the winner, which is: 
> 
> It's a Roberto Cavalli. Isn't it cool?
> 
> This dress was picked by two people: LNtD, and Marshy. (lovenotestodeath, and marshmallowdeviant, respectively) So, here is what I'm going to do. You two can both prompt me, either for a chapter in this story, or a oneshot in the series, and I'll write you something. If it's a oneshot though, you'll have to give me a little time, because I want to finish this one first. :) 
> 
> Huge thanks to everyone who looked up all the fabulous dresses. This was so much fun, plus there were all sorts of cool dresses to use for other parts in the story. Woohoo!


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toga! Toga!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I think it's high time we all attended a party. YAY!
> 
> Also, it's pretty obvious what the next chapter is going to be. (bow chicka bow bow)
> 
> ***************************************************

“This party is seriously crazy,” Eros said, dropping down onto the pile of cushions Darcy was reclining on. 

“I know, right? Even Nick is having a good time,” she replied, picking up another chocolate covered fig and stuffing it in her mouth. “Mmmmmm. Dionysus really knows his shit when it comes to catering. Where is he, anyway?”

“Ummmmmm…” Her half-brother sat up a bit, squinting slightly as he perused the milling guests. “Over there with Tony. Are they doing a keg stand? With a wine skein?”

Darcy focused on where he was pointing and rolled her eyes. “Yup. I knew we were in for trouble when I introduced them earlier.”

Eros leaned around her and ripped a piece of bread off a large loaf, sopping it around in a plate of olive oil before taking a bite. “Who’s that guy over there talking to Athena?”

“Bruce Banner. They’re really hitting it off, aren’t they? Who knew?”

The two siblings watched for a minute as Bruce said something, and Athena threw back her head and laughed. 

“Huh,” Eros said. “Interesting.”

“I know. It’s weird, but it totally makes sense all at the same time. Kind of like Loki and me.” She looked over to where her consort was trying to extricate himself from a run-in with Aphrodite. “No offense, Eros, but if your mom keeps touching my man like that, I might have to kick her ass.”

He sighed. “She can’t help herself. Just ignore her. It’s what I do.”

Steve and Sif walked by, deep in conversation about the merits of metal shields versus wooden ones, and Darcy saw that speculative expression on the God of Love's face that had been their earlier.

“No. Absolutely not. Don’t even go there, Eros.”

He glanced at them again.

“I’m serious! Knock it off. The last thing I need is Sif at all my holiday parties making bitch-face at Loki. Steve needs a really nice, sweet girl like, um…” She looked around trying to find the right person. “...what about Euphrosyne? Isn’t she the Goddess of Joy? She’d be perfect. Here, give me those arrows...” She reached for the quiver that he’d tossed onto a nearby chaise, and Eros snatched it up before she could touch it.

“No way. These are not toys. You can just go around shooting them at people randomly.”

Darcy flopped back dramatically on the colorful array of pillows. “Fiiiiiiiiiiine. I won’t archerize people. God, you're a stick in the mud.”

“That’s not even a word. You know that right?”

“What isn’t a word?” Psyche asked, gracefully settling onto the chaise behind them. 

“Eros is being mean,” Darcy said, voice muffled by a pillow. 

“I am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“Are. Too.”

Psyche began to laugh. “Eros how you did not know this girl was your sister is incredible to me. Look at the two of you.”

“Are they arguing again?” Persephone arrived, hand in hand with a tall, pensive looking man dressed in a toga made of moody greys and blues. 

“Oooh,” Darcy exclaimed, quickly getting to her feet. “Is that him?”

Persephone ducked her head and blushed slightly. “Darcy, may I introduce my husband, Hades.”

Hades gazed at her with his piercing eyes, and then smiled. “How lovely to finally meet the charming new goddess. Persephone has told me so much about you.”

“No wonder she ran off and eloped with you,” Darcy enthused. “You’re like, Mount Olympus’ answer to Colonel Brandon.”

Hades looked confused. Psyche starting laughing again. Eros spotted a couple chatting on the other side of the clearing and scooped up his bow and arrows before heading after them. 

“Just what have you been saying to Hades, minn sváss? He looks utterly perplexed.” Loki had finally gotten away from Aphrodite and returned to their corner of the party.

She waved her hand nonchalantly. “Oh you know… just Jane Austen stuff,” she said by way of an explanation.

“Indeed.” Loki cocked an eyebrow at her. “Just how much of that bottle of wine have you enjoyed?”

“Not much," she replied indignantly. "Half. Well...maybe two thirds. Wait, which one is a third? Seriously though, I’m good. I mean, I would have said it even without the wine. Probably. Could I get you guys a chocolate covered fig?” she asked Hades and Persephone politely.

Even Hades was cracking a smile at that point. “We would love some, thank you.”

“Ha! See? Look at my excellent, non-drunken hostess skills, babe.” Darcy triumphantly plucked the dish of figs off the low table and presented it to God and Goddess of the Underworld.

Once they’d made their selections, Loki slipped his arm around her waist. “Please forgive me for stealing her away, but there is something I would like to show the Goddess of Merriment and Candor.”

“Pranks and Sass,” Darcy corrected. 

He just shook his head, smiling at her. “Come my love, I have a surprise for you.”

Persephone and Hades shared a knowing glance and immediately excused themselves to mingle. Psyche grinned, and gave both Darcy and Loki a peck on the cheek before floating off to find Eros. 

“What was that all about?” Darcy asked, allowing him to lead her through the party. 

“I wished to get you alone. There is something I would like to…”

Loki was interrupted by a highly inebriated Tony clapping him forcefully on the back. “Well! If it isn’t Mr. and Mrs. Odinson! Killer party guys. That Dionysus is one hell of a deity. Pepper and I are having him out to our place in Biàrritz.”

“Oh my God, Tony. You are completely plastered,” Darcy giggled. “I got immortalized, not _married_.” 

“Wait,” Stark replied, leaning on Loki’s shoulder and gesturing up into his face with the same hand he was holding his wine skein in. “You mean you didn’t tell her? Really?” He took a drink. “Oooh, this is gonna be good.”

“Tell me what? What is he babbling about? Why did he call me Mrs. Odinson? You know that’s not the way it works, Tony, right? Even if we were married, which we aren’t, I wouldn’t take Loki’s name. Because that would mean I was Odin’s son too, and that’s just weird.”

“That’s not what it says on the paperwork.” Tony winked at her.

“What paperwork?” She turned to Loki. “What the hell is he talking about?’

“As usual, Anthony, your timing is impeccable,” Loki said, voice full of irritation.

“Hey, I do what I can. Don't kill the messenger and all that. So where are you two off to?”

“Nowhere now,” Darcy interjected. “Loki, why does Tony think we’re married?”

Tony snickered. 

Loki sighed. “There is a very simple explanation. When you were hospitalized, there was no family or responsible party to oversee your care. Anthony had Pepper forge paperwork naming me as your husband and himself as your father. Without it, they would not even allow me in the the room, and I…” He went silent, muscle in his clenched jaw working. “I _needed_ to be near you.”

“Oh babe,” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist as a lump formed in her throat.

“You are not angry then?” he asked anxiously.

“Are you kidding?” She pulled her face away from Loki’s chest and smiled at him and Tony. “You did it to protect me. How could I be mad at that? It was seriously amazing of the two of you. And Pepper,” she added. “Although, Tony, my real dad might just kick your ass over it. Maybe. I’m never sure how he’s going to react to stuff. The man is an enigma.”

“Speak of the devil…” the God of Mischief said as he watched Ares working his way over to where Tony was standing. “I wish you luck, Anthony. Now, if you will excuse us, Darcy and I have somewhere to be.”

They left the slightly terrified looking Tony behind them as Loki steered them way from the party and into the trees.

“Mrs. Odinson, hm?” Darcy teased, grinning up at him. He looked away, almost as if he was… Wait. “Loki, are you _blushing_?”

“Certainly not.”

“You totally are! Just admit it. You _like_ the idea of me having your name. Hmm...Mrs. Loki Odinson,” she mused, still gazing slyly up at him.

He cut his eyes over at her. “It would not be your name. You were correct when you told Anthony that.”

“Yeah, but you still like it. I can tell.”

Loki stopped walking. “And if I do?”

“I...well, I mean… You know, it’s good.” She wondered if the smile on her face looked as ridiculous as she thought it might.

“Now you are the one who is blushing,” he asserted. 

Darcy gave his shoulder a little push. “That's not my fault. You just got all serious on me. In the woods. On Mount Olympus. Why are we in the woods anyway?”

He narrowed his eyes at her due to the sudden change in subject, but didn't push the issue. “I told you. There is something I wish you to see.”

“So this isn’t like, some sort of outdoor seduction attempt then?”

He smirked at her. “That too.”

“I knew it,” she replied smugly. “You can't keep your hands off me. It’s embarrassing, Loki. I’m always having to fend you off in public, and fake having headaches, and…” Her words trailed off into a peal of laughter as he grabbed her around the waist and threw her over his shoulder.

“I wish to break off our relationship. You are unmanageable and troublesome. Kindly return the dress I have made you.”

She giggled and swept his cape out of her way with her arm. “Your butt looks super-hot from this angle. Did you know that? Rawr, baby.”

“Fine. I will take you back,” he conceded. “But just this once. Do not think you will be able to flatter your way into my good graces a second time.”

“Whatever you arrogant Asgardian God of Mischief,” she retorted. “Did you see all those Greek hotties back there? I could totally do better. You know, maybe find a guy who doesn’t have a prince complex, or wear green all the time, or… Oh my God, did you just smack my ass???”

He cleared his throat, and Darcy could just imagine the innocent look on his face. “I do not know how that happened. My hand must have slipped.”

“Yeah, I bet it did. Just wait until you put me down. I’m gonna bust out my new goddess powers all over you.”

“Mmmm, is that a promise?”

“Yes. Totally. As soon as I figure out what they are. What do you think they are, anyway?”

“That is what we are going to find out,” he said. “I want to see what my little goddess can do as well.”

“Really?” she asked excitedly.

“Yes.” He set her back down on the ground and turned her around so she was facing a beautiful white temple that was shining in the moonlight. 

“Whoa, pretty.” She looked at the carved frescoes over the entrance in awe. “Who does this one belong to?”

Loki stroked his fingers lovingly over her cheek. “You, Darcy. It is yours.”

She was floored. “Mine? When did this happen? No one said I was getting a temple.”

“I expect Zeus wanted to surprise you. Construction on it was just completed yesterday. Shall we go inside?” 

She nodded and started up the wide, marble steps with him following just behind her. There were tall columns lining the sides, and square central room in the middle with a large, flat stone table sitting on a raised platform.

Darcy walked over to the table and and boosted herself up on top of it, patting the spot next to her. He easily slid up and joined her. 

“This is really mine. I’m a _goddess_ ,” she said breathlessly.

He looked just as ecstatic as she felt. “It is, and you are.”

“So,” she said, swinging her legs happily back and forth. “Powers. How does that work?”

“Everyone is different,” he responded. “Mine were inherent and instinctive, something I was born with. Yours are latent. They may have been there, as a result of your parentage, but they would have lain dormant until now. We have to locate them, bring them to the fore, so to speak. I have an idea of how to awaken them, if you would like to try it.”

“Yes. Absolutely, let’s do it.” She shifted on the flat surface of the table, drawing her legs up alongside of her so she was sitting opposite of him.

"Just try to relax, Darcy. Allow yourself to concentrate on how this feels, alright?" 

She nodded, and Loki leaned forward, taking both her hands and brushing his lips over her forehead gently. Then he whispered her full title against her skin. A massive rush of energy flooded her as he spoke, pulsing through her body.

She pulled back and stared at him, wide-eyed. “What did you just do?”

His face broke into a wide smile. “I invoked your name. Did it work?”

“It definitely did something. Say it again.”

He did, and the sensation welled up a second time, even stronger than before. She gasped as it rolled over her. “Wow. That was incredible. Like, seriously intense. What does invoking my name mean, anyway?”

Loki chuckled at her expression. “I am worshipping you, minn sváss.”

She swallowed hard. “You’re… I’m sorry. I think I need a minute.”

He reached over and tucked a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. “If it helps, this is not the first time I’ve done it. It is just the first time since you became divine.”

Darcy remained silent for a moment. Just trying to come to terms with all of it, the new person that she was, and all the changes there would be because of it. “Is this what happens to you every time I say your name? That sort of overwhelming, powerful...whatever that was?” She looked at him curiously.

His gaze suddenly turned shifty. “Not every time, no. There has to be a certain feeling behind it. You are generally fairly specific in your worship of me.”

It took her a second to get it, but she could see that Loki was fighting back a smirk and it all became very clear.

“Oh my God. Is this why you’re always asking me to say your name in bed? Loki!” Darcy started to laugh. “You are unbelievable.”

“Yes, but you love me regardless,” he replied, grinning at her.

“I do, but now that I know how this works, you are in serious trouble, Loki, God of Mischief and Lies.” She watched as his pupils dilated. “Ooooh, look at you. _Looooooki_ , God of Mischief….and Lies.”

He hissed, fingers tightening on the marble tabletop. “You are playing with fire, Darcy, Goddess of Merriment and Candor.”

There was that unbridled energy again, swirling like crazy through her veins. She desperately wanted to use it, but had no idea what to do. “How do I make this work?” she asked, holding her hands out in front of her and flexing her fingers. “It's like it needs an outlet, but I can’t find one.”

Loki moved swiftly so he was kneeling behind her, and then placed both hands just beneath her breastbone. “Visualize it, and then pull it all in until you have it focused just here." He pressed in lightly. "Do you have it?”

She sought out all the traces of magic flowing through her body and tugged on them until they felt like they were wrapped into a tight mass just under his hands. “I think so.” 

“Good. Now, find the thing you wish to do. See it in your mind’s eye. Make every detail as real as you can.”

“Got it.”

“Hold onto that. Do not release it.” He moved one of his hands over to her shoulder and followed the line of her arm down to her fingers, holding it outstretched and flush with his. “Now Darcy, let it go.”

She relinquished her hold, and the power whooshed down her arm and out through her fingertips. Moments later, a massive flash exploded over the clearing where the party was still going on, and showers of sparkling silver lights cascaded down from it, burning up in a brilliant display high above the revelers.

Darcy watched it in amazement. “Did I just do that?”

“Was it your intention to make fireworks?”

“Yep.”

“Then yes. You just did that,” he said, voice full of pride.

She whooped with delight. “ Yes!!!! Okay, what should I try next? Wait. Hold on. I’ve got it.” Darcy closed her eyes and concentrated as hard as she could. This time, instead of sending the energy out through her fingertips, she tried to push it out over her skin. Darcy could feel it tingling as it began to surround her, and then she felt Loki draw back in surprise.

She twisted around to look at him, and collapsed into giggles. “God, Loki. The look on your face!”

“I hope you do not expect me to kiss you looking like that,” he said, frowning at her. “Really Darcy, out of everyone we know, _Thor_ was your top choice for your first illusion spell?”

“Hey, he’s a very impressive...um…” She was hiccuping with laughter at this point, barely able to talk. “...specimen. All that muscular...blonde…manly...” 

His face became more and more disapproving the longer she went on, and she couldn’t concentrate on the illusion anymore, allowing it to disappear in a haze of purple light.

“I could always change into Sif you know,” he threatened, letting the shimmer of his own magic glow around him.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Channel my brother again and you’ll be stuck with her for a week.”

“Okay, you win. What about Tony? Can I be Tony?” She blinked innocently at him.

“I am not amused.”

“You are sucking all the fun out of Mount Olympus right now,” she teased, echoing what he had said to her on Asgard.

Loki smirked. “Really? Tell me, Darcy, how could I restore the fun to Olympus for you?” he inquired.

“Well, there is this one thing. In fact, I think it’s actually part of your duties as my consort.” She traced a finger over his leather clad knee.

“Oh?” He arched an eyebrow suggestively at her. “And what is that?”

“I thought maybe we could break in my new temple,” she said, rising up on her knees and slipping her arms around his neck.

“Mmm, minn sváss,” Loki replied, lips ghosting over hers. “I thought you would never ask.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody is about to get all possessive up in this temple. That's all I'm gonna say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what you guys? This is NSFW. *looks at chapter, looks back at readers...blinks innocently*
> 
> I thought about ending it here. But I'm not. You'll see why at the end. 
> 
> Do you all realize I've been writing what amounts to nearly a chapter a day for a month? (I really do write them daily. Usually in the early morning before my family wakes up and clamors for breakfast.) That is crazytown. There is no way it would have happened without all of you. I'm not sure if you all know this, but a large part of this story was written by suggestions in the comments. I should add you all as co-authors, I swear it. So many things became part of this story that were not in the original plan, and that is all because of the amazing people who have been reading and reviewing. There were originally no visiting Greeks. That was ALL you guys. Just think that over for a minute, and know how very, very awesome you all are. I created an entire second cast of characters just because some of you asked, "Yeah, but what if Hermes actually _did_ visit?" Thank you so much. I love you all, and wish to squish your faces and smooch you.
> 
> ********************************************************************

Marble tables weren’t exactly the most comfortable surfaces for doing _things_ on. Darcy realized this about thirty seconds into kissing Loki, when she had to keep shifting her legs to adjust the pressure on her knees.

“Maybe temple sex was better in theory,” she finally said, after breaking the kiss with a sigh.

“Or maybe,” Loki replied, sliding off the table and pulling her down to stand with him, “you should explore the rest of your temple before you rule it out.”

She bounced on her toes excitedly. “There’s more?”

“There’s a whole chamber behind this wall. Would you like to see it?”

“Does it have a bed?” she inquired coyly.

“It has something better.” He wove his fingers through hers and led her over to a narrow opening in the wall behind them that she hadn’t noticed before.

There was a thin set of double doors inside the frame, and Loki pushed them open before walking inside backwards, tugging her after him. The space wasn’t large, but it was beautiful. An oval bathing pool was set centrally in the marble floor, and several long reclining couches were placed up against the walls. There were lit candles and flowers throughout, and a few of them were even floating in the water. But the very best part was the tall bookcase on the far wall that held copies of all her favorite novels and an iPod dock.

“Well?” he asked, waiting for her response.

Darcy smiled hugely at him. “Were the books your idea?”

“I thought you might like a quiet spot to get away from time to time, and no one would bother you here. This place is sacred.”

“How is the iPod going to work with no electricity?” she asked, walking over and examining it.

Loki just rolled his eyes, came up behind her and switched it on. “I can teleport, make doubles, create corporeal things out of thin air, change my appearance at will, and move through different dimensions with ease. Do you really believe a lack of wiring would hinder me?”

Music flooded the chamber, and she leaned back against his chest, pulling his arms around so they framed her waist. “Mmm, magical boyfriends are so convenient.”

“I still hate when you call me that,” he replied, but she could hear the smile in his voice.

“Oh I know. You prefer Loki, God of Mischief and Lies.” She could feel the exact moment when the power from invoking his name hit him. 

“Clearly teaching you that was dangerous. I forgot what an incorrigible minx you are.”

“Mmm,” she agreed. “You are totally in trouble now.” 

Darcy caught one of his hands in hers, lifted it to her mouth and whispered his name over his knuckles. He groaned and yanked her closer, burying his head along the side of her neck.

“That works both ways, you know, _Darcy_ , Goddess of Merriment and Candor.”

The raw power filled her again, but this time there was an element to it that hadn’t been there before. She curved back into his embrace, baring more of her neck to him. He took full advantage of it, placing open mouthed kisses down her soft skin that ended with nipping bites over her pulse point. 

“Hello, Frosty,” she said affectionately, as she felt his temperature drop significantly.

He bit her just where her neck met her shoulder, careful not to press too hard with his fangs. “Hello, Goddess,” he murmured. 

“So blue in the temple, hm? Kinky.”

“Do you wish me to change back?”

“God no. Just don’t destroy my dress, you impulsive Jötunn trouble-maker.”

She could feel his chest rumble as he laughed. “I have been doing much better with that.”

“Yeah, but only because I made the no Frost Gianting until I’m already naked rule,” she teased. 

“Semantics,” he countered with a shrug, fingers beginning to work impatiently on the fastenings of her gown.

“Be. Gentle. I’m a big fan of the designer. In fact….” Darcy reached for her magic, pushing it all into a tight ball like he’d shown her, and then drew her hands up over her body, using it to make her dress disappear.

“Very good, minn sváss,” he said appreciatively behind her. “I knew you would be a fast learner.”

“Yeah well, I hope you can find it for me, because I have no idea where I just sent it,” she replied ruefully, and his chest rumbled again.

“I’m sure we will be able to locate it. You very likely just sent it home.”

Once the dress was gone, she was left only in her hair ornaments, jewelry and sandals. The nymphs hadn’t really gone in much for undergarments. Apparently there weren’t really popular on Mount Olympus. Something that Darcy found completely unsurprising considering how much nookie all the inhabitants seemed to be getting up to at any given time. Aside from a few notable exceptions, the entire population of Olympus was a pretty lusty bunch.

She and Loki fit in pretty well, actually, she thought with a smirk.

He had dropped to his knees in front of her, and was undoing the laces on one of her sandals. The small straps came free of her calves and he set the shoe aside before going to work on the other one. Once he had them both off, he traced his finger lightly over the faint marks they had left on her skin. 

“Yours are much prettier,” she said, cupping his face in her hand and rubbing her thumb over the sigils on his cheek. 

He relaxed into her touch, crimson eyes drifting closed. 

“You know, when I was lost,” she said, sliding her thumb over to caress his lips, “this is what brought me back. Your face. Just like this.”

A tremor ran through though him, and he opened his eyes on her. “What have I ever done to deserve you?”

“Psyche says it’s not about deserving, it’s about fate. She thinks everything has a place in some sort of ultimate plan we can’t see.”

Loki turned his head so he could kiss her palm. “And what do you think?” 

“I think maybe Plato had it right when he thought there were two halves of the same soul, and that the two separated soulmates spent their whole lives searching for each other. From the very first time I met you, you were pulling me in like a magnet. It was like I just _needed_ to be around you. Was it like that for you?”

“Yes.” He smiled at her. “But I fought it. I could not understand how one saucy Midgardian girl could possibly maintain such a hold over me. The lack of control I have around you is appalling. Whatever shall I do with you, my newly made immortal?”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Darcy said with a sexy wink. “Why don’t you stand up, and we can get you out of that armor.”

He obligingly stood, and she stopped him before he could magic away his clothes. 

“Let me?” she asked, reached for the buckles that held one of his long metal vambraces in place. 

He nodded, watching her intently as she unfastened each piece of his ceremonial armor and set it aside on a nearby chaise. By the time she got to the straps that held his cape in place, Loki was getting restless.

“How much longer do I have before you tackle me?” She grinned up at him, and he returned it, showing her a glimpse of fang.

“Not long.”

“So you’re saying I should let you get the rest?” Before she’d even finished speaking, his remaining clothes disappeared in a shimmer of green, and she giggled at his impatience. “That’s still my favorite trick.”

Loki wrapped his arms around her and Darcy gasped as his much cooler skin came in contact with hers. “Really? Shall I remedy that? I think it is high time you found a new favorite.”

“Oh yeah? That sounds an awful lot like a challenge, Frosty. Don’t make a bet your a…” 

He cut her off by covering her mouth with his own. It didn’t take her long to recover from her surprise and she wound her arms around his neck, letting him lift her off the ground to remedy their differences in height. 

She loved when he got like this, tension running like a current under his skin. They’d made love with him in his Jötunn form often since the first time, and he’d learned how to reign in the urge to dominate. It was always there, though, hovering just beneath his calm exterior. Darcy could feel it in the way he took control of the kiss, his tongue moving with far more fervency than skill.

She folded her legs around his waist, feeling his cock twitch where she’d just trapped it between them. One of her hands left his neck, and worked its way down his chest and abdomen until she could take him in her hand, stroking and squeezing as he growled against her lips.

“I want you in my mouth,” she whispered, rubbing her thumb over the sticky wetness at the tip.

“This was supposed to be about you,” he protested.

Darcy closed her hand over him and gave a rough stroke from base to head. “Then shouldn’t I get what I want?”

He growled again and she knew she’d just won. Still carrying her, he walked down the shallow steps into the bathing pool, and set her down in the warm water before lifting himself up to sit on the edge.

She traced her fingers over the raised markings on his thighs, and hard planes of his abs. He was straining in front of her, muscles taut all over. 

“Was it your intention to tease me to distraction?” he asked through clenched teeth.

“Nope,” she replied with a wicked smile, before taking him in hand and engulfing him in her mouth.

Loki sucked in a harsh intake of breath and his hips canted towards her. 

“Tell me how it feels,” she requested, using the flat of her tongue to swirl around the ridges just under the head.

He swallowed thickly. “Hot….wet…”

“Eloquent," she snickered, eyebrow quirked at him.

“Exquisite,” Loki replied, knuckles going white as he clenched his fists on his thighs.

“That’s more like my silver-tongued God of Mischief.” She licked over the slit at the top and he slammed a palm down on the marble floor.

“Darcy, I am not going to last.”

She glanced up at him, and shivered at the raw desire in his eyes. “Kinda the point, Loki.”

He leaned back on his hands, hips making short, jerky thrusting motions as he struggled not to buck into her mouth. “I ache to be inside you.”

“Technically…” She went down for a long stroke, and pulled back up. “...you are.”

“Darcy,” he snarled impatiently. “ _Please_.”

Oh that sneaky cheater. He knew what begging did to her. It was all over now.

She released him with a pop, and took a step back in the water, holding her arms out. “Okay Frosty, I’m all yours. Come get me.” 

He dropped into the pool in a blur of blue-grey speed, grasping her under the bottom and pivoting them so she was pressed up against the wall. Darcy was more than ready for him. Loki pulled his hips back and then drove into her in a single savage thrust.

She arched back in his arms as he set up a relentless, forceful rhythm. This, this right here was what she’d been waiting for. Any second now he was going to start with the space-viking and the…

“Mine,” he rasped, fingers digging into the skin over her hips.

There it was. Her body clenched around him in response. He was speaking again, totally in Old Norse but she knew exactly what he was saying simply because of the surge of power that flooded her as the words left his lips. 

Loki finished it with another half-growled profession of “ _Mine_.” His eyes radiated with tempestuous Jötunn dominance. 

Usually this was where she gave her customary response of ‘yours’. Usually. Except this time, with the flames of her own magic coursing through her, she found herself fisting her hand in his hair, and yanking back on his head to bare his throat to her.

“No. _MINE_ ” she declared, and then bit him. Hard.

Well. _That_ got a reaction. He buried his hand in her own hair, gold ornaments tumbling free and splashing into the water. Then he was all over her like an animal. Brutally kissing her mouth, her neck, licking and biting every inch of her skin that he could reach. All the while, he kept up the ferocious thrusting inside her body.

“God, Loki…yesssss…. Don’t you fucking stop. Don’t… _God_ , more!”

After that, speech got completely lost. They were making plenty of noise though. Most of it was pretty damn feral, and she was thankful that her temple was so remote. Anyone within a quarter-mile radius would totally have heard them despite the thick marble walls. 

They were feeding off each other, the sensation ricocheting higher and higher until she felt it start to crest. Darcy tightened around him, and he began to pulse inside her.

“Let go, min svass. I have you, let go,” he commanded.

Darcy's nails raked across his shoulder blades, her back bowed and hair loose and unfurling in the water. Loki pulled her back sharply, gave one final violent stroke, and she reached climax in a blinding surge of pleasure. He was right there with her, urging her on as his own all-consuming release claimed him.

It seemed to go on forever, and yet it wasn’t long enough. There was a part of her that strongly suspected even after a thousand years, she’d still crave this, need him just as badly and just as often. It was as integral to who they were as their immortality was, and they had forever to explore it. Darcy was completely overcome when the exultation of that hit her. He was hers. Forever.

Afterwards, he held them both supported with one arm braced on the side of pool. She had her head resting on Loki’s shoulder, body trembling with shivers that had nothing to do with his frigid skin. 

“Best. Fuck. Ever.”

He gave a low chuckle. “You say that every time.”

“In my defense, I mean it every time. But this time…. Seriously, Loki, I don’t even have words for that.”

“I somehow doubt that. You are nothing if not loquacious.”

She lifted her head to look at him, and his brow furrowed with concern.

“Darcy, are you crying? Did I hurt you, minn sváss?”

“What?” She swiped under her eyes with her fingertips and they came away wet. “Oh my God, I guess I am. Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to get all emotional on you.”

He lifted his hand and rubbed a thumb over her cheekbone, brushing away another stray tear. “No. Don’t apologize. They are beautiful. _You_ are beautiful. I love seeing you come undone.” 

She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him. “You’re my everything, you know that?”

“And you, Darcy, are my home.”

“The vessel where your heart resides?”

He nodded, gaze adoring. “Always.”

“We’re ridiculous, you know,” she said with a sniffly laugh. “Worse than Eros and Psyche.”

“I do not like to come in second in anything. You knew that even before we met,” he teased, eyes bright with amusement. 

“So, what’s next?”

“I think I shall take you to bed. You need sleep. It has been a long day for you, my lovely goddess.”

Darcy smoothed some loose strands of hair off his face. “And after that?”

He thought for a moment. “There is the small matter of an apple that needs to be resolved. I would see my brother as happy as I am.”

“Why does this sound like we’re about to get into a whole pile of mischief?” she asked with a grin.

Loki smirked. “Probably because we are.”

Her life was never, ever going to be boring. Not with him at the center of it. “Ek elska þik, babe.”

He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. “I love you too, Darcy. I love you too.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An apple a day...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Stuff happens. 
> 
> That was totally vague. Ummmm, I can't be less vague. Apples. How's that? ;)
> 
> ***************************************

Six heads popped up over the massive, iron fence that surrounded Iðunn’s apple orchard. They looked around cautiously for a moment and then disappeared again. 

“Two guards. You were right,” Darcy said to Loki, spreading a parchment map out over her knees.

“Of course I was right. I have done this before you know. In fact, I am the reason for the guards,” Loki scoffed.

She rolled her eyes. “No big surprise there. Try not to turn Iðunn into a nut this time, would you?”

“I had to do that to rescue her. There was no other choice. She needed to be more...portable.”

“Uhuh, I bet. You were just showing off, and you know it.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Really, my little goddess, if you insist on pointing that thing at me, I can think of several far more entertaining uses for it,” he said, cocking an eyebrow at her.

“Can you two not go ten minutes without innuendo?” Thor complained.

Loki and Darcy exchanged a smile. “Nope,” she replied. “We’re totally incapable of behaving in polite society. Sorry.”

“So,” Eros interrupted, leaning over the map, “what’s the plan?”

“Yes, I find I am quite enamored of covert missions. I wish to get started.” Psyche rose up on her knees and leaned over her husband to better view the parchment, and Darcy could see the small, round silhouette of her growing baby bump outlined by the moonlight.

“The baby has awakened your sense of adventure,” Eros said affectionately, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her snugly against him. 

“Ridiculous man. I have always had a sense of adventure. The baby has merely awakened my bladder.” She shifted uncomfortably. “Would it be possible to begin soon?”

“We will need a diversion,” Loki said, and nodded at Darcy.

“Batter up.” She stood and a wooden baseball bat appeared in her hand. 

He created a baseball out of thin air, and tossed it up in front of her. The silence was broken by a loud crack and then the ball went soaring over the heads of the confused guards to land with a rolling thud over a hundred feet away on the opposite side of the tree.

“Did you see that, babe? Total home run right there!” Darcy did a little victory dance.

“Yes minn sváss, your prowess is stunning, but as the one of the guards is now coming this way, I suggest we move to another location.”

“Oh right. Ready Team Science?”

“Absolutely,” Jane said, jumping to her feet with Psyche right next to her. 

Darcy grinned. Jane looked awesome in a catsuit. They all looked awesome in fact. No wonder Natasha wore them all the time. Catsuits rocked. She saw Loki checking her out and winked at him. 

The boys were wearing dark jeans and navy blue Team Hammer hoodies with the image of Mjölnir stitched on the back in red thread. It was a testament to the renewed closeness between the brothers that Loki hadn’t changed his to green. 

Eros looked especially cool with his wings spread out behind him. You didn’t see them much, he tended to keep his divine form for special occasions. The last time he’d gone formal was at Darcy’s ascension ceremony five months ago.

“Okay, so we’re going to go around to the right, and you guys go left, and we’ll meet up at the tree,” she whispered. “Who has the basket?”

Loki conjured it up and handed it to Jane. “Make sure you secure the lid once you get them inside.”

She took it and flashed him a smile. “Got it.”

The three guys began jogging off to the left, rapidly vanishing around the corner. Darcy led the girls off to the right. They were giggling slightly, bent low over the ground as they ran. She heard Psyche humming something under her breath, and realized it was the theme song to Mission Impossible. Well, that was irresistible. 

Within seconds, all three of them were humming it and pretending to talk into their collars. Jane even executed a pretty respectable forward roll that ended in her bouncing up with her hands clasped together in the shape of a gun. This was definitely going to go down in the history books as one of the best times ever. Darcy could already tell.

“What do you think the boys are doing right now?” Jane asked as she started to scale the fence. 

“Probably acting dreadfully serious,” Psyche replied, gracefully sailing over with her wings spread. 

“Right?” Darcy giggled. “Important mission is important,” she said in her version of a deep manly voice.

“You sound just like Thor. The other day, we were in this meeting with Fury, and…” Jane immediately stopped talking as the stillness was broken by the sound of nearby footsteps. 

The three girls ducked behind a nearby hedge, peeking out through the branches. One of Iðunn’s guards walked by, scary golden spear in his hand. 

“Shit,” Darcy whispered. “Okay, we’ve got to hurry. If we botch this, the guys will never let us live it down.”

“Not to mention the part where we get imprisoned in the dungeons of Asgard by Odin,” Jane asserted dryly.

“Oh, Loki said he’d probably just execute us,” Darcy replied offhandedly. “Stealing these apples is a serious offense.”

Psyche snorted. “How very comforting.”

They looked at each other and then collapsed in silent laughter. 

“Shhhhhh. You guys….” Jane waved at them to keep it down, eyes sparkling with mirth and other hand clamped over her mouth. “We need a new plan,” she hissed from between her fingers.

Darcy thought for a second. “Right. Here’s what we’re going to do. That guard dude went over that way, so basically, if we just keep to these hedges, we should be able to outrun him and make it to the tree before he gets there.” The other two nodded, and she started sprinting down behind the tall bushes with Jane and Psyche flanking her on either side.

Within a few minutes, they could see the top of the magic apple tree rising up in front of them. The hedge ended abruptly about six yards from the tree, which stood alone in a small clearing.

Darcy motioned furiously to a group of shadows standing on the opposite side of the open space, and moments later they heard the long, low hoot of an owl.

“That’s the signal,” Jane said.

“Oh my God, Jane. Is that Thor? I can see why you married him. The ability to make convincing bird calls is totally important when choosing a spouse,” Darcy teased, lips twitching.

The other girl bumped her shoulder good-naturedly. “Says the woman who is living with a guy that frequently turns blue and grows _fangs_.” 

“Hey, don’t knock the blue. Or the fangs. Mmm, fangs.” Darcy mimicked giant teeth with her fingers in front of her mouth, and the other two snickered. “Seriously though, he’s gorgeous when he goes Jötunn. I’d let Loki show you, but then you’d try to tackle him, and I’d have to fight you off, and it would ruin the entire dynamic of our friendship.”

“You know, sometimes Eros and I play the vampire and the maiden. It is quite satisfying,” Psyche said. “In fact...” She laid a protective hand over her little pot belly. “...I believe little Hedone is a direct result of one such encounter.”

“Listen, Psyche, I love that you and my brother are you know…” Darcy gestured vaguely to encompass the way Eros and Psyche were. “...but he’s still my brother. I don’t want to think of him chasing you around and making little faux-vampire babies with his cherubic man-parts.”

“Do not be silly, Darcy. There is nothing cherubic about my Eros. He is very well-en…”

Darcy clapped her hands over her ears. “Lalalalalalalalalalalalala. What? I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over my overwhelming need to not know what my brother’s penis is like.”

“Not that this conversation isn’t stimulating, but shouldn’t we be doing something?” Jane interjected.

“Oh yeah, right. Ummmmm… Jane, hoot back.”

“Excuse me?”

“Hoot back. Let them know we heard them.”

“I’ve never hooted before. What if i do it wrong?”

“Listen, I think it’s pretty self-explanatory. You just...you know...hoot.” Darcy shrugged. “The word is spelled just the way it sounds. I think you can figure it out.”

Jane cupped her hands around her mouth. “I feel ridiculous.”

“Oh my God, just do it,” Darcy replied in exasperation.

Before Jane could make an attempt, Psyche whistled in a perfect imitation of a whip-poor-will. The shortest of the three shadows broke off and they could see the outline of two wings lift up in greeting.

“Wow, Psyche, that was seriously impressive.” Darcy raised her eyebrows at the other goddess in awe.

Psyche preened a little bit. “I find it very useful in certain situations. Although I do not believe you would wish to hear about them. They involve Eros’ non-cherubic aspects.”

Jane looked completely relieved that she no longer had to hoot. “Here they come.”

The three girls ran out to join the guys under the tree. Eros and Psyche immediately took to the branches, while the other four stood guard at the bottom. 

“So, an owl, huh?” Darcy smirked at Loki.

He rolled his eyes. “I am working with complete amateurs. Do you know that the entire time we were making our way here, the two of them were pretending to be MI6? If I never hear the James Bond theme again it will be too soon.”

She pulled a sympathetic face. “I’m sorry babe. We were totally professional, right Jane?”

Jane nodded. “Completely. I’m considering leaving my field and becoming a larcenist permanently.”

Thor looked concerned. “Jane, surely you do not mean that. Your work is very important to you.”

She was saved the trouble of answering him by an apple landing with a thunk in her basket. 

“Score!” Darcy exclaimed, holding her hands up in a touchdown formation.

There was an interlude where fruit fell thick and fast from the tree, and the four of them chased around under it, trying to collect it as quickly as possible. Then Eros and Psyche dropped back to the ground, and the entire group raced for the fence.

Loki and Darcy waited on the inside as the other thieves made their way over it, and then he teleported them through. 

“That was way easier than I thought it was gonna be,” Darcy said to him.

His brow furrowed. “Yes. It was. I have never seen Iðunn’s orchard so poorly guarded.”

“Nor have I,” Thor agreed. “It does feel odd, does it not? Do you think something is amiss with the apples?”

Loki undid the clasp on Jane’s basket and plucked an apple out. “There is only one way to be sure.” He lifted it to his mouth and took a large bite.

They all waited with baited breath as he chewed and swallowed.

“That had better not kill you,” Darcy griped. “If you die from an apple after everything we’ve been through I will bring you back just to kill you myself.”

He abruptly fell over, body contorting horrifically, and then lay still.

Psyche gasped. Jane made a sound of horrified dismay. Thor’s face looked distinctly as if he could not believe this was happening again, and Eros seemed slightly suspicious.

Darcy nudged Loki in the ribs with her foot. “Knock it off. You’re freaking everyone out.”

One brilliant green eye cracked open. “Your lack of concern for my welfare is truly appalling.”

“I can see you breathing, Snow White. Besides, you pulled this same trick last week with that pomegranate at Persephone and Hades’ place.” She held her hand out and he took it, letting her tug him to his feet. “You guys will have to excuse him. He’s a total asshat sometimes.”

“That is not what you called me earlier. Five times. In the solar...and out on the colonnade if my recollection is correct.” He leaned closer to her and spoke in a lower tone. “I particularly enjoyed the way you screamed my name when…”

“No.” Eros held both his hands up. “That is my _sister_ , Loki. My baby sister. I don’t want the mental image.”

“See?” Darcy said, turning to Psyche. “I told you. We’re cool that it goes on, but seriously, we need zero details. Ever.”

Eros gave her a high-five. “Exactly.”

“Does this mean the apples are safe?” Jane asked. “We don’t have to go in there again, do we?”

“They are perfectly safe,” Loki replied, handing her the one he’d tested with a flourish. “You shall have a long and happy life with my brother.”

“Well? Go on.” Darcy poked Jane in the arm. “Take a bite.”

Jane looked around at all of them smiling excitedly. “Right now? Here? You really think I shouldn’t wait until we get back?”

Psyche glanced at Thor. “I believe your husband is eager for you to partake, Jane Foster.”

The God of Thunder cupped his hands around Jane’s, bringing the apple to her mouth. “Please, my love, there is no need to wait. Psyche is right. I would rather see you eat it now.”

“Okay then. Stand by, everyone, I’m going to do this.” She took a huge bite, and chewed. “Oh, that’s really, really good,” she said, swiping some juice away from the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand. “As far as apples go, this one is exceptional.”

Loki and Thor shared a quick sideways glance at each other, grinning. 

“What? Why are you two looking at each other like… Oh! Oh wow. That is really...incredibly…” Jane paused, blinked a few times in shock, and then stared up at them wide-eyed. “Is it like this every time?”

Thor pulled her close, mindful not to upset the basket. “It is. Finish your apple, my Jane, and I shall take you home.”

“What’s she talking about?” Darcy asked Loki in a whisper. 

“The apples cause a surge of life-force within the body. The more one eats, the stronger the feeling grows. I think we should get them back to Midgard, minn sváss. Your friend will be wanting her husband very shortly, and I would rather not witness it.”

“Me either. Where’d we park the longboat?”

“Just over there,” he inclined his head towards a thick copse of trees. 

“Awesome. Okay everyone…” She clapped her hands to get their attention. “The ferry to Midgard is leaving the dock. Everyone on board, pronto.”

The minute they were all standing on the deck, Jane threw her arms around Thor’s neck and started kissing him. He turned his back to afford them some privacy but it was far too little for the rest of the occupants. 

“Drive fast,” Darcy muttered to Loki, and Eros nodded in agreement.

Loki brought the ship into the air, and agilely piloted it into the hidden tunnel between dimensions. They darted back towards Earth with as much speed as he could possibly use and still keep the boat stable. By the time he’d docked it on Thor and Jane’s balcony, Jane was shamelessly wound around the God of Thunder, practically climbing him. 

“Out,” Loki demanded, and Darcy fought back a laugh. 

Thor simply scooped his wife up and jumped over the side, landing with a thump on the concrete surface. 

“Bye you guys! Make lots of Thunder-babies! Hedone will need someone to play with,” Darcy called over the stern as Loki swiftly piloted the ship away.

****************************************

Heimdall stood in his observatory, watching the branches of Yggdrasil as they spread out across the heavens above.

“Has she eaten the apple?” a weary voice asked.

The Guardian of Asgard turned to face the Allfather. “She has.”

Odin nodded. “Good. It is done then.” He shifted his focus to the silent guard standing at attention nearby. “Go and tell your men they may resume their duties. I do not wish to leave the apples unprotected any longer than necessary.”

“Yes my king,” the man responded, and smartly strode off, cape billowing behind him.

Heimdall resumed his watch.

“You believe I should tell them.” Odin lifted his face and gazed at the shining constellation that had once been his wife.

“I did not speak.” 

“No, but you were thinking it.”

The mighty head nodded thoughtfully. “It is true. Your children deserve to know their father is trying to atone for his failings.”

“Is it truly atonement if they are aware of it?” The Allfather shook his head. “They have found the happiness Frigga wished for them, not the futures I had planned. She was always so much wiser than I, able to see what I could not. I would have seen them both suffer for my manipulations, and look what it cost me. I am alone in my dotage.”

“All the more reason to tell them. Have you considered that Loki may forgive you if he knew that you were the one who sent the woman and child to Thor in Midgard?”

Odin chuckled. “A simple child’s toy, and it was able to restore the girl to him. How very apt. I am an old fool, Heimdall. Perhaps one day I will be an old fool who has been forgiven. The palace is far too quiet with no family living it its halls. Would that I had understood my folly sooner.”

“I would encourage you to speak to them.”

“Is that your advice as a seer?”

Heimdall stepped down from his dais and placed his hand on Odin’s stooped shoulder. “It is my advice as a father. And, if I may, I believe it is what my queen would have said, were she here.”

“Then it is advice well-given. I shall consider it, my friend.” Odin briefly clasped the other man’s upper arm in acknowledgement before turning to leave. “Keep watch over them, Heimdall. All of them.”

“As you wish, my king.” He returned to his place before the skies, eyes fixed on the sons of Odin and the ones they loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want fic recs. What are your favorite Tasertricks fics? Hit me up with something new to read, people. :D


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nutella and a distinct lack of birth control. (Well Cat? How's that for a summary?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SvenYves and Hannatude, I have combined your awesome prompts into one very NSFW chapter. I hope that is okay. :D (Hanna wanted Nutella, and Sven wanted a baby discussion)
> 
> ******************************************************

“Loki,” Darcy chided, voice full of laughter, “this will never work if you keep wiggling.”

“I do not wiggle,” he retorted. “And I do not see what the point of…” His mouth snapped shut as her hot tongue swept up his chest, licking away the traces of the sticky stuff she had just painted on his skin.

“Mmmmm, see? I told you this would be fun. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of using Nutella before.” 

She dipped two fingers into the small jar sitting next to her on the bed, and swiped it along his collarbone. Then she followed the path her fingers had just taken with her mouth.

His hands fisted in the sheets. “I cannot understand how you are able to talk me into these undignified, questionable... _Fuck_ , Darcy!”

Her eyes met his over the expanse of his chest as she dragged her tongue along the underside of his cock. “I love when I can get you to swear. It’s even better when you do it in space-viking though.”

“I will speak in any language you wish, as long as you keep doing that.” Loki could feel her smile around him as she enclosed him in her mouth.

For several minutes there were no words, just him coming apart as she continued what she was doing until completion. 

“I win,” she said, crawling over him and flopping down his chest.

He snorted. “You were ten seconds over.”

“Only because it took me so long to get the lid off the jar. It was totally unfair to start timing before I actually opened it. If you look at it that way, I was probably like...two minutes under time.”

“Five minutes is five minutes, Darcy. You have failed, and therefore…” Loki abruptly flipped them and she shrieked as he pinned her down under his body. “...you must pay the forfeit.”

“Oh help. Save me. I’m being attacked by a ravening Jötunn,” she teased, grinning up at him. Then she threw her arms up on the pillows in a gesture of surrender. “Come at me, Frosty. I’m ready for you.”

He wrapped his fingers around her wrists, holding them in place above her head, and growled against her clavicle, nipping the skin. She gasped as he moved up the column of her neck and line of her jaw, finally claiming her mouth with his own. 

“Part your legs for me, minx,” he said playfully. “I would hear you scream my name.”

She lifted her head and licked his bottom lip. “Part them yourself, troublemaker. This minx likes a challenge.”

Several minutes of very satisfying wrestling followed her statement. Darcy was much stronger since she had become a goddess, and there were a few times when she had bested him when he wasn’t in his Frost Giant body. However, this little battle of wills ended with her breathless and writhing, her legs locked around his hips. 

Just before entering her, he set the spell in place to prevent pregnancy.

Darcy promptly knocked it down.

Loki blinked. She hadn’t said anything. It was very possible she had no idea that it had happened. There were cases of her magic working instinctively before. The probability that it was accidental was high. He put the barrier back in place.

She knocked it down again.

The third time, she didn’t even give him a chance to fully perform the spell before she blocked it with one of her own. Loki gazed down into her face, searching for the meaning behind her actions.

“Darcy? Are you trying to tell me something, minn sváss?” He was trying desperately to hide the overwhelming hope he was feeling from showing too much in his voice.

For a moment she looked away, biting her lip, and then met his eyes. “Maybe.”

He phased back into his Æsir form. It was too difficult to keep his head around her when he was fully Jötunn, and he would need presence of mind for this conversation. Releasing her wrists, he brought his hands down to frame her face.

“If we do this, you will very likely conceive. You understand that, yes? Is that what you want?”

Darcy shifted underneath him, and Loki rolled so that she could push herself up in the bed. He quickly followed suit, joining her so they were both propped up along the headboard. She pulled one of his hands into her lap and began to play with his fingers.

After a few seconds of silence, he bumped her shoulder with his own. “I am waiting.”

“I know. I just…” She took a deep breath and let it out. “I spent the day with Psyche. She and Eros are doing the nursery. It’s super-pretty, all painted like a sunset with clouds, and they have this great mobile thing with little pegasi hanging from it. Anyway, they’re so, you know...happy. And she’s all excited about the bump. They’re having a _baby_. They made this whole new person that’s part of both of them.”

“A baby is more than nurseries, and mobiles, Darcy,” he said gently, squeezing her fingers where they were wrapped around his.

“Oh.” She looked up at him and smiled. “Yeah, I know. I was the nanny to an infant for a whole summer when I was eighteen. It was a ton of work, but I kind of loved it. Her name was Evie. I missed her when I went away to school. She was so tiny and cute with this big, toothless grin. I’m good with babies, you’ve just never seen it because we usually aren’t around any.”

Loki nodded. “I see. And you were disarming my spell because...?”

“We’re not married.”

His brow furrowed at her confusing answer. “No. We are not.”

“Right. And my father will probably kill us both, I mean, he doesn’t even like us living together...but, um, Loki, would you like to maybe stop trying not to have a baby with me?”

It took him a moment to unwind her convoluted sentence. Once he had, he could barely contain himself. “Darcy, are you asking to have my children?”

She gave him a lopsided, nervous grin. “I thought we could start with one. You know, see how that goes and then maybe have more...later.”

His eyes skipped back and forth on hers. “You understand any children I father have the potential to be Jötunn. I… They will be what I am, Darcy.”

She reached up and traced a finger over his lips. “I love what you are, Loki. You know that. Are you worried about it? You don’t think that maybe it would be hard for you to love them, do you? I mean, they’d be ours.”

“No,” he shook his head. “No, I would love any child of ours. Unconditionally. They would be foremost in my heart, just like their mother. Nothing could possibly alter that. Do you truly understand what you are offering me, minn sváss? Are you sure? You want a family. With me?”

“Well yeah. I had you made immortal, remember? That’s commitment, right there. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want all that with you.” 

Loki pulled her around so she was straddling his lap. “I have no objections to this, but you must understand, we were raised so differently. It was understood that once I took a…” He stopped, not sure what word to use. 

“Goddess?” she offered helpfully, and he chuckled.

“A prince is expected to get down to the business of creating an heir.”

“So, you’re saying that’s why you would want a baby with me? Because of how you were raised?” She frowned slightly.

“No, beautiful girl, I wish to create a child with you because the thought of us having our own family is immeasurably compelling. You have no idea what the image of you round with my child does to me.” He slid his hands down the curve of her waist and over her hips. 

“Then why does it sound like you’re trying to talk me out of it?”

He shook his head. “I’m not.”

Darcy quirked an eyebrow at him. “You sure about that?”

“Are _you_ sure? Truly sure?” he asked her earnestly.

“Your self-doubt would be endearing if it weren’t such a pain in the ass, you know that right?” she replied with a smile. “Loki, I’m positive. I want this.” She leaned down to whisper in his ear. “I want your baby. _Our_ baby.”

His eyes slid closed and the hands on her hips tightened, pulling her firmly down against the hard proof of his arousal. “You have me wound around your finger now, I shudder to think of what I will be like when you are carrying my babe.”

She grinned delightedly. “All systems are go then? Really?”

Loki rocked underneath her, and groaned as she slid along his length. “Does that feel like a no to you?”

“Yes!!!!” Darcy squealed, and dove on him, peppering his face with kisses. 

“You do realize it may not happen the first time? It is very likely, but not guaranteed.” He smiled at her, completely amused by her excitement.

“Actually...” She flushed. “...I may have kinda sorta done a thing…” 

He watched, puzzled, as she dug around under her pillow and triumphantly retrieved two small, circular objects. She took the larger of the two and lifted his hand, slipping it down over his wrist before putting the other one around her own. 

A brief examination showed it to be a bracelet made of braided wheat and other plants considered to promote fertility. “You have been to Demeter. When did you do this?”

“Oh you know,” she said, bright pink cheeks belying her nonchalance, “last week.”

“Last….” Loki stopped perusing the bracelet and gazed at her suspiciously. “How long have you been considering this?”

“The truth?”

“Please.” 

Darcy sighed. “Since Asgard. And I totally refuse to take the blame for that,” she quickly added. “You were the one who got all ‘let’s make babies’ in the longboat hanger thingy. It was like...once I started thinking about it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

He was stunned. “All those months?”

“Yeah, I was actually kind of hoping maybe you would have forgotten to do the thing when you were blue. You know, because you were so distracted.”

“Never,” Loki replied. “I would never do that without your permission, Jötunn or not.”

She cleared her throat. “Well, you have my permission now.”

“So I do.” He vaguely wondered how foolish the smile on his face was.

“This,” she said, looking at him almost bashfully, “is starting to get weird.”

Loki threw back his head and laughed. 

“Shut up,” she said, smacking his arm. “You know what I mean. There's been too much talking about it, and now sex will feel all planned and awkward.”

“Kiss me,” he demanded.

“What?”

“Kiss me, minn sváss. I promise to make it less ‘weird’.”

She did, and he put every ounce of skill he had into it, kissing her back so thoroughly that when she pulled away her eyes were dazed and unfocused.

“Better?”

“ _So_ much better.”

He lifted up so that he was in a kneeling position, and settled her back in his lap with her legs on either side of him. Then he slipped his hand between them and began to stroke her, not stopping until she was gasping with pleasure in his arms. Just before she came he took himself in hand and thrust up inside her, feeling her muscles as they fluttered and convulsed around him.

“Loki,” she moaned, starting to rise and and fall above him.

He sought out her eyes, letting the sensation of her heat and her skin against his wash over him. She leaned back, arching so she could take him deeper, and he felt an acute jolt of desire blaze through him. 

“Gorgeous,” he murmured, trailing open-mouthed kisses over her breasts. “ _My_ Darcy.”

She increased her pace, undulating her hips, and twining her fingers in his hair. “I want…”

“Yes?”

“God, Loki, I want to feel you come. Please.”

“Keep talking like that, and it won’t be long,” he growled back, body growing taut at her words.

“Don’t...don’t wait. Just, _fuck_ , I’m so close.” Darcy bent her head to kiss him, all messy and glorious, and fraught with need.

Loki’s whole world spiraled down into fragmented sensations. The feel of the woven bracelet around his wrist, her tongue hot and riotous in his mouth, the primal pull of her body where it was wrapped so tightly around his. 

He was breathtakingly aware of each of these things just before his release boiled up in a frenzy of all-consuming waves and he drove up into her, pulling her body sharply down onto his.

Darcy was crying out, her frame shaking in his arms. He held her until she stilled, and then gently rolled them so they were facing each other, side by side.

“Hey,” she said, bumping his nose with hers.

He smiled. “Good?”

“Very. So… Now we wait.”

Loki chuckled. “It will be a long six weeks if you plan on spending them here just waiting. Especially when there are far more enjoyable things we could be doing in the interim.”

“That’s true,” she replied, corners of her lips turning up. “We should probably do this as much as possible. Just to make sure.”

“Such a chore,” he teased. 

“I know. Poor us. We totally hate doing this. It’s the worst ever.”

“Indeed. I shall just have to endeavor to rise to the occasion.”

She drew back and stared at him. “Seriously, Loki? Seriously? Did you just make a sex pun?”

He grabbed her and pulled her up onto his chest. “I did. God of Mischief and Lies. Have we met?”

“There is nothing about bad puns in your title.”

“It’s in the small print.”

“Liar.”

“That,” he pointed out, “is in the large print.”

“I’m totally going to read the contract first next time,” she retorted, snuggling her head down on his shoulder with a yawn.

He laid awake for a long time after she’d fallen asleep. All his thoughts focused on the future, and the family they might become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, I have a terrible, horrible, dark secret.
> 
> And it is this:
> 
> I have never actually eaten Nutella. I KNOW!!!! How is this possible???? I feel like my entire life has been a lie. Please excuse me while I go sit in the corner and consider the sad, tragic waste of my existence.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fifteen wrongs totally make a right. Or a baby. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not a long chapter, however, it is literally made of cotton candy and pegasus glitter. So there's that. 
> 
> Also, I have now tried Nutella. Let's not even talk about how I only have half a jar left already. Or how I haven't actually put it on anything other than a spoon. I did share it with my kids, so you know, it could be worse. They stuck fruit in it, and assured me that Nutella on fruit is awesome. I might try that at some point. Maybe. My spoon is totally working for now. I can absolutely say that I would lick this off Loki.
> 
> ************************************************************

Darcy was not a happy camper. Six weeks had come and gone, and although her period was nowhere to be seen, every single pregnancy test she’d taken had come up negative.

She’d taken ten. 

Well, twelve. Fine. Fifteen. But technically they didn’t count because that was before she found the early indicator ones. Not that they indicated anything. 

Darcy sighed.

Maybe she was broken. She was so disappointed. Stupid Demeter and her stupid, pointless bracelets of non-helpfulness.

She stomped along the banks of the river that wound through Olympus, kicking pebbles out of her way. In fact, she was so intent on her impromptu pebble soccer that she didn’t notice Loki had teleported right in front of her and ran straight into him.

Despite throwing his arms out to catch her, Darcy still stumbled over his boots, and Loki practically had to lift her off the ground to keep her from face-planting on the grass. 

Once she’d recovered, she turned to face him feeling pretty sheepish. “Oh, hey babe. I totally didn’t see you there.”

“I had noticed,” he replied. “You seemed rather preoccupied. Would that have anything to do with the extensive collection of negative pregnancy tests you are currently housing in my wardrobe?”

Shit. So that was where she’d sent them. Darcy was hoping when she’d made them disappear that they had fallen into a void, or landed on Niflheim, or somewhere else remote. Switzerland, maybe. Clearly not.

“So, um...you found those, then. I was going to tell you. You know, when I figured out where you were.”

“I was in the next room, minn sváss,” he said dryly. 

“Oh. Right.” She kicked another small stone into the river, feeling totally dismal.

“You are upset about the results?” Loki asked, tone gentle.

Darcy buried her head in his chest. “Yes. Aren’t you?”

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “May I ask you a question? Other than these primitive Midgardian bits of plastic, do you have any other sign that our coupling was unfruitful?”

“No...but…” She rubbed her face against the comforting leather scent of him. “...fifteen tests, Loki. That’s pretty conclusive.”

“I disagree.”

“You what?”

“Darcy, do you know what those tests measure?” he inquired, ruffling a hand through her hair.

She shifted so she could see his face. “Pregnancy hormones?”

Loki smiled at her. “ _Human_ pregnancy hormones.”

“Yeah? So? I mean, I am a…” Oh. Oh! HA! Darcy gazed happily up at him. “I’m not human anymore.”

“No, goddess, you are not. In fact, I would say your DNA has been quite upgraded. Therefore I doubt a human pregnancy test would have any say in this matter.”

Excitement started bubbling up inside her. “So you think…”

“Yes, I do,” he replied firmly. “You have been warmer to my touch for days, your skin is more flushed than usual, and just this morning you became completely dizzy when you got out of our bed.”

“You noticed all that?”

“I notice everything about you. You know that, but…”

“But what?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and rose up on tiptoes so their faces were more or less level. “Go on. Say it.”

“Fine,” he said, smile widening. “I may have been paying particular attention to certain things. More so than I normally would.”

“I knew it,” she asserted smugly. “You’re worse than I am.”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Fifteen pregnancy tests?”

“Alright. Maybe not worse, but at least just as bad,” she conceeded, dropping back down. “Although, does this mean a regular OBGYN won’t work for me? I mean, none of their tests are going to come out right, are they?”

“No they would not, and I am also not fond of the idea of our child at the mercy of a Midgardian doctor. I witnessed their treatment of you, remember.” His face darkened at the recollection. 

“What are our options then? I can’t exactly go to Eir, and I’m not crazy about the idea of Asclepius getting all familiar with my ladyparts. God, I’m hungry. Are you hungry?”

He conjured up a pear and handed it to her. “I spoke with Psyche before I came looking for you. She is seeing her midwife shortly, and I requested that she visit our villa afterwards to meet you. If you do not approve, I will cancel it, but Psyche recommended her most highly.”

Darcy took a bite of the fruit, and then held it up for him. “No, that’s cool. I’ll meet her. We’ve got to start somewhere, right?”

Loki made a sound of agreement around his mouthful of pear. “Shall we go home? I know how you enjoy turning being late into an artform, but perhaps we should be on time for this particular appointment.”

“The only reason I’m late to things,” she countered, poking him in the chest, “is because my consort has a habit of stealing my clothes and pushing me up against random flat surfaces half the time when we try to leave the house.”

“How discourteous of me,” he smirked. “I will stop that immediately.”

“Don’t you dare. I love it when you make me late, and you know it.”

“Well," he said with a grin. "If that is the case, I suspect we have at least an hour before she arrives. I could draw us a bath, and…”

“Home,” she commanded, jumping up and wrapping herself around him. “Home, home, home.”

Loki was still chuckling as he teleported them back.

**An hour and fifteen minutes later…**

Eileithyia knelt before the fidgety goddess reclining on the chaise, and rested her hands on the woman’s still flat abdomen. Cool white magic flowed from her hands and delicately searched for signs of life. Within seconds, answering magic pulsed back, and the midwife smiled.

“There,” she said, reaching up to take Darcy’s hand and placing it under her own. “You feel that warmth? That is your babe.”

The young woman gasped, and her consort beamed at her. He was just reaching his own hand out to feel the child, when another fluttering aura of awareness reached out to touch Eileithyia’s own. Unlike the first, which announced itself boldly, this one was decidedly cooler to the touch, and almost shy in its approach. 

“Ah, I see this will be a busy household.” She gently slid Loki’s hand over, and waited.

His eyes flashed from Darcy’s stomach to the midwife in shock. “Is that...?”

“Yes.” She patted his hand reassuringly. “Twins. A good omen. You two have been very busy, hm? This one is a full day younger than his sister, at least.”

The girl made a half-choked sound of elation, “Oh my God, Loki! We totally made babies! Like, plural. Plural babies! I want to feel the other one!” She stretched her fingers towards his, and he moved her palm over so she could feel their son.

Eileithyia remained silent, giving them as much privacy as she could while still holding the connection between the small developing lives and their parents. 

“Oh!” Darcy exclaimed as she felt the chilly presence. “He’s Jötunn, isn’t he? Just like his gorgeous daddy.” Tears slipped down her cheeks, and Loki wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close and murmuring in her ear in a low tone.

As the midwife watched, the God of Mischief spread his long fingers out to cover both children. “Hello daughter,” he said, as the energetic little warm spirit brushed against his.

There was much about Eileithyia’s vocation which she loved, but this aspect was one of the most rewarding and joyful. She ran a thorough examination of the young goddess' body as the two parents focused on the children, and found all in order. 

“They are strong, healthy. I shall visit you twice monthly until your time nears, then we will schedule time weekly to check you and the babes. Here is a sheet of instructions and some things you should expect to happen.” The midwife set two pieces of parchment down on a nearby table. “I am always available should you have questions or concerns. Psyche will be a good resource as well. She is several months ahead of you, after all. Although no two pregnancies are the same. Do not judge yours by hers,” she cautioned.

Eileithyia gave them a few more moments with their children and then slowly withdrew her hands, allowing her magic to return in a way that wouldn’t be startling to the tiny babies. 

“There little ones, I leave you with your parents. Darcy, your temperature is elevated more than is strictly normal for a pregnancy. I believe it is due to the nature of your little son. Your body is compensating. I found nothing worrisome in it, but it will likely continue as he grows. Therefore, we shall monitor it, if only for the purpose of knowing what to expect in the future. And as for you…” She turned to Loki with a smile. “...there is no reason for relations between the two of you to cease simply because she is pregnant. It will even become beneficial as delivery draws closer. Love her, cherish her, and for Zeus’ sake, make sure she drinks plenty of water. No one ever remembers to do that.” Eileithyia shook her head.

The couple laughed. Loki immediately conjured up a glass of water and solemnly handed it to Darcy who just as solemnly took a sip, eyes dancing at the midwife over the rim of her cup. 

She looked at them with satisfaction. Her job here would be a good one.

********************************************

After the midwife left, Loki slid in behind Darcy on the chaise, long legs stretched out on either side of her as she lounged back along his chest. Their clasped hands rested low on her tummy where they’d felt their children earlier.

“This is so totally like you,” she said, rubbing her thumb over his.

He sneakily maneuvered it free so he could trap hers under it. “What is?”

“Anybody could make one baby. You had to make two. Even your sperm is all diva-like. I bet they wear helmets, and have like, superiority complexes and...” The rest of her sentence was lost in giggles as he curled the fingers of his free hand into her side, tickling her ribs.

“I am not a diva,” Loki replied, when he’d finally relented because she was getting breathless.

“Whatever. You so are. I bet you’re sitting there right now congratulating yourself on being so potent.”

“If you must know, I am sitting here right now wondering how much persuasion it would take to convince the mother of my children to go to bed with me at three in the afternoon.”

“Zero.”

“I’ll get the Nutella.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, look what LicieOIC made for me on tumblr!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> Isn't she ridiculously talented? Gah. I can't even. All that Hiddle hand-porn with the face touching. Maybe if we all make huge puppydog eyes at her, she will do Loki and Darcy too. (waggles eyebrows at Licie) I love her, people. She's awesome.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is small, circular, sparkly, and leads to a really big party?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really, really am going to answer yesterday's reviews. I promise. We had a guest here today, all day, and it meant hostessing my little butt off. I even shared my Nutella. (Look at me, totally growing as a person.)
> 
> In super-happy news, Hannatude has found her missing kitty. Hooray!!!
> 
> *************************************

They were back in New York to resign. Really it was more of a formality. They hadn’t actually been in the Shield offices since Darcy’s accident, and now that she was an actual goddess with all the perks that came with that, staying on at Shield just seemed silly. Especially with twins on the way. The Goddess of Pranks and Sass laid her hand over the nearly imperceptible bump under her clothes and smiled.

It wasn’t like they were quitting entirely. If something really crazy happened, Loki would always be available to help. Plus Darcy now had the entire army of Mount Olympus at her disposal. Sometimes being the daughter of Ares had its benefits.

And that was the other reason why they were back on Earth. Ares. They still hadn’t told him. She and Loki didn’t exactly _want_ to keep the news from him...but Darcy had no idea how he would react. For a man who had spent the better part of her life ignoring her, her biological father was completely unreasonable about her unmarried status with Loki. And he also had a tendency to be a bit, well, impulsive when it came to managing his anger. 

Ares might actually kill Loki for knocking up his daughter out of wedlock, something Darcy had told Loki just before they’d gotten busy making plural babies. She hadn’t realized at the time that Loki was paying attention when she said it. In retrospect, it was stupid of her to think that. He never missed a beat, ever.

Darcy glanced down at the dazzling ring that was now adorning the third finger of her left hand, and a giant thrill of excitement shot through her. Loki caught the direction her eyes had taken and his face lit up with a look of such satisfaction that it almost made her laugh. 

She remembered months ago when she pointed out how much he liked getting one of his shirts one her. That was _nothing_ to how he was acting now. The only surprising part was that the stones scattered across the gold surface didn’t spell out the word ‘Mine'.

Asking her to marry him, like everything else Loki did, was done in a big way. He was pretty much incapable of small gestures. She loved that about him, though. Besides, Darcy didn't think any girl had ever had a more original or amazing proposal.

She’d come back from visiting Hades and Persephone at their summer home, to find the villa she shared with Loki completely vacant. It would have worried her, had she not immediately found a door in the solar that had never been there before, with a page containing lines from her favorite Pablo Neruda poem written in Loki’s beautiful swirling script pinned to it.

_I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,_  
 _I love you straightforwardly without complexities or pride:_  
 _I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,_  
 _except in this form in which I am not, nor are you,_  
 _so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,_  
 _so close that your eyes close with my dreams._

_~*~ I await within. Come find me. ~*~_

She said he did things in a big way, right? When it came to Loki, this could either be something important, like he’d bought her the Taj Mahal and was waiting for her to come see it, or something small, like he’d gotten them ice cream in a flavor she hadn’t tried yet.

The door swung open easily and she stepped through it to find herself in Nick Fury’s empty office. Um, oookay. She turned around, and found a smooth, flat wall where the magical door had been. Then the real door to his office opened and Nick came through with Thor and a shackled Loki following behind him.

Darcy suddenly had an extreme feeling of déjà vu. It was only exacerbated by what happened next. 

“Ms. Lewis,” Fury said, motioning between herself and the smirking God of Mischief. “Meet your new partner, Loki of Asgard.”

Loki eyed her up and down in a completely licentious fashion. “Well, well, and here I thought my banishment to Midgard was going to be boring. Hello, darling.”

Darcy gasped. She _knew_ this! It was the first time she ever met Loki. So that meant that this was a Loki duplicate, and he’d set this whole thing up for some reason. Okay, knowing Loki, it was some kind of a game or puzzle. And since it was a memory and she was the only one in the room who was actually real… Oooh! It was a reenactment!

Which meant she had the next line. Right. What had she said to him? Darcy thought for a second, and then smiled.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the fucker who destroyed my favorite bookshop, along with half of midtown.”

“I was having a slow week,” he retorted nonchalantly, openly staring at her chest.

She crossed the room and stood toe to toe with him, glaring up into his face. “My eyes,” Darcy hissed, “are up here.”

“Indeed they are, and I am sure at some point, I will get to them.”

“Loki!” Thor gave him an angry shove. “Have some respect.”

Darcy held her hand up. “Don’t sweat it, Thunder-boy. I’ve got this.” She turned to his shackled brother. “I’ll take that apology anytime you're ready, you arrogant prick.”

Loki’s smirk grew. “For what? Admiring your frankly magnificent breasts?”

“No, asshole, for the giant robot of fiery death in New Mexico, your pointless little power play in New York, killing and injuring countless people who didn’t deserve it, and making my life beyond complicated for the past two years.” She paused for a moment. “And also for staring at my tits, because that’s just rude. You should at least buy me dinner first. Sushi works. I know this awesome place down on 45th.”

He made a choking sound somewhere between shock and amusement. “I’m sorry?”

Darcy grinned triumphantly and held her hand out. “Apology accepted.”

The God of Mischief and Lies looked down at her outstretched hand, and blinked in disbelief at the human girl who had just outsmarted him. He opened his mouth as if to say something, and shut it again without a word. Then he let out a massive, barking laugh. 

“Oh,” he said, finding her eyes at last and gazing admiringly into them, “I am going to enjoy working with you, Darcy Lewis.”

“Likewise,” she replied, and everyone in the room but the Loki double disappeared.

“Clever, clever girl,” he said, beaming at her. “You solved this puzzle quickly.”

“I learned from the best.” She winked. “Now, I think you owe me a doorway.”

“So I do.” He waved his still-shackled hands and a magical portal appeared on the far wall. “Off you go.”

Darcy strode across the room, turning to wave as she pulled open the door. She stepped through and found herself standing on the Golden Gate Bridge surrounded by lizard-people. 

What exactly was he up to bringing them back here? She only had a second to consider this when one of the lizards knocked her straight off the bridge with his tail.

Crap. This again. Darcy tumbled through the air, trying to remember what she’d done next. Fortunately for her, her first instinct was to call out his name, which was exactly what had happened the first time. Loki immediately appeared, wrapped his arms around her tightly, and teleported them both back up to the far side of the bridge. 

Just like before, Darcy was so relieved to have not fallen to her death that she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. He hesitated just a moment and then hugged her back, lifting her so her toes were barely touching the pavement. 

Also just like before, Darcy could feel him getting aroused. Really aroused. _Oh Loki_. They totally had it bad for each other, even then. 

“Hey trouble-maker,” she teased, just as she had before, “is that a glowstick of destiny in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

He ground himself hard against her hip. “I assure you, mortal, _that_ is pure, unadulterated Lo...”

There was the sound of a throat clearing behind them, and Tony’s voice interrupted loudly. “Do you two need a minute? I mean, I’m giving you points for style, because the Golden Gate Bridge is a pretty epic place for a fuck, but we’ve got a bit of a situation here.”

“Do shut up, Anthony,” Loki declared.

At the same time, Darcy snapped, “Get a hobby, perv.”

They both laughed, and everything faded away but Darcy and the Loki clone. 

She hopped down out of his arms and grinned. “Where’s my door?”

He lazily flicked his fingers, and it appeared on one of the bridge supports. “There you are, lovely. One step closer.”

Darcy quirked an eyebrow at him. “Is Paris next?”

He smiled and shrugged. “Only one way to find out.”

She tugged open the door and the scene changed again. It was their best prank, turning Nick’s office pink. Darcy started to giggle. She’d forgotten this was right after San Francisco. 

Loki was standing on the the other side of Nick’s desk, switching the blinds to fluffy, coral colored curtains with pom pom trim. Next to Darcy was a small bag that contained the candy dish and M&M’s. She lifted them out and set the dish square in the center of the desk, before pouring the candy inside. 

“Are those wretched looking confections as vile as they appear to be?” Loki inquired, studying the round, pastel pink candies in distaste. 

Darcy reached into the dish and held one out to him. “Only one way to find out.”

He grimaced. “No thank you.”

“Oooh, Loki Odinson, I hadn’t expected you to be a chicken. Scared of a tiny, harmless candy?” She popped the M&M into her own mouth and then rolled her eyes back, making exaggerated sounds of orgasmic delight. “You are totally missing out.”

“Fine,” he replied. “I shall try one. Although I hardly expect to find them as palatable as you obviously do.”

“I bet you will,” Darcy responded, and took another candy, lifted to her mouth and held it between her teeth. Then she grinned at him, daring him to try and take it.

His expression promptly switched to one of predatory glee, and he stalked around the desk, not stopping until he’d come within mere inches of her face. Then he inclined his head and took the M&M in his own teeth, lips ghosting over hers. Shivers coursed through her body.

Loki pulled back slightly and chewed, green eyes on hers the entire time. “Delicious.”

“Yeah,” she replied, feeling just as dazed as she had the first time. “Totally.”

The Loki double licked his lips, and tapped her on the nose. “You have earned your next door, beautiful girl.”

This time it _was_ Paris. Darcy stood on one side of Eiffel Tower observation deck, and Loki on the other, battling the gigantic blob monster as it shuddered its way up the metal structure. 

When it reached Loki, she had that same visceral reaction that filled her the first time. He was losing ground rapidly, and Darcy was not about to let the creature fucking touch him. She ran in front of her man, shrieking to get the attention of the gelatinous mass, and fired her taser straight into its body. 

It fell from the tower with a sickening plop that echoed all over Paris. Without pausing for a second, she rushed over to Loki and began to pat him down to make sure he was okay. He watched her in silence for a moment or two and then lunged, backing her up against the rail. 

Their first kiss was even better the second time around. It was greedy, and wild, and he totally didn’t waste a single second getting his tongue in her mouth. Damn, he was good. Tony showed up, again. And made comments, _again_.

And they both simultaneously flipped him off. Again.

The fifth room was his apartment with her in the oxford and him on the couch eating sushi. The sixth was wearing his helmet in Tony’s closet. Curled up in bed with him while he was sick the morning after she tased him was the seventh. Their whole relationship played out in living color through each succeeding doorway while she moved closer to wherever Loki was waiting. 

When she reached his bedroom in Asgard, the first time he had ever called her ‘minn sváss’ and told her he loved her, she got a lump in her throat. Directly after that was waking up in the hospital, and then there came the stolen moment in her temple the day she was made immortal.

The Jötunn Loki double in the temple gently led her towards the final door, which was way more elaborate than any of the previous ones. “Just one left, my little goddess.” He smiled lovingly at her. “Go ahead. I have been expecting for you.”

By now she was pretty sure it wasn’t ice cream. Or the Taj Mahal. This was Loki’s all-time most romantic, over the top gesture ever. Darcy had a pretty good idea of what was coming. Her eyes were starting to tear up even before she got through the door.

The last room was one in their villa they hadn’t started decorating yet. It was completely empty except for two, gorgeous carved wooden cradles, and Loki down on one knee between them, holding a ring box up in his hand.

Yeah, to say she totally sniffled her way through his proposal was an understatement. However, he got a little emotional too, so it was all good.

The ring was perfect. A sparkly, central diamond surrounded by delicate golden swirls with tiny emeralds and amethysts studding them to represent both their colors of magic. ‘Ek elska þik, minn sváss.’ was inscribed on the inside.

She said yes. 

He put the ring on her finger.

Then they had a _LOT_ of sex. Not in the nursery though, because that would have been weird.

Which brought her to the other reason they were in New York City. Loki and Darcy had some invitations they wanted to hand-deliver to a very special event they were throwing on October 31st.

The two of them were totally having a giant, crazy, Halloween masquerade wedding. On Mount Olympus. Dionysus was already planning the menu and the winelist. It was going to rock so flipping much, and Darcy couldn’t wait. 

The elevator up to Nick’s office at Shield seemed to take forever. She was practically vibrating with excitement by the time the doors slid open. The handover of their resignations went well. Fury did all the usual glaring and scary eyepatch faces, but she and Loki sailed through it. He even rsvp’d to their wedding on the spot. One down, six to go. 

Cap was easy to find. He had his own office, and was hanging out looking adorably all-American in a red henley and dark blue jeans. It was clear that he noticed the little bump, but true to form, he didn’t ask any indelicate questions. They handed the invitation over, and Steve congratulated them both with boyish enthusiasm.

Tony, of course, was a cat of a whole other color. But then again, when wasn’t he?

He caught them walking into the lobby of Stark Tower on his way to the doors and stopped, folding his arms over his chest. “If it isn’t Reindeer Games, and the hottest goddess on Mount Olympus. To what do I owe this honor?”

Darcy handed him the invitation, and he ripped it open, scanning it briefly before narrowing his eyes. She could feel Loki’s arm tightening around her waist as Stark scrutinized her thoughtfully. 

“So…” he finally said. “How big is the shotgun daddy Ares is holding on your boyfriend here, hm? Because I’m guessing it’s a goddamn cannon.”

“We have not told him yet, Anthony, and I would appreciate it if you kept this between us for the time being,” Loki answered, threat evident in his tone.

Tony smirked. “A wise plan. When’s the little reindeer due?” 

“Actually,” Darcy said, unable to keep the smile off her face, “it’s a reindeer _and_ a pegasus.”

“Reeeeeally.” Tony pursed his lips and nodded, looking totally impressed. “Can’t say I’m surprised with the way you two immortal energizer bunnies go at it. Good for you, you fucking stud.” He clapped Loki on the shoulder.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “He had help, you know.”

Stark snorted. “Yeah, I’m sure he did. Anyway, yes to the wedding. Pepper and I will both be there with bells on. Incidentally, is Dionysus catering again?”

“Totally,” she affirmed. “And Tony there’s some stuff I wanted to to talk to you about. Later, though.”

Loki stared at her. “Are you arranging a clandestine meeting with Anthony?”

“Yup. And no, I’m not going explain, and no, you may not come too. You’ll just have to trust me, babe.”

He sighed. “Fine. Do not keep her out too late, she needs her rest.” The last was directed at Tony.

“So, Tony, eight o’clock okay?” she asked, ignoring Loki’s hovering.

He checked the calendar on his phone. “Should be, let me just add it. Hey J.A.R.V.I.S., can you pencil in rampant pregnancy sex with Darcy Lewis at eight o’clock tonight?”

“In the interest of preserving your relationship with Ms. Potts, I have amended your appointment to ‘Meeting with Ms. Darcy Lewis, eight pm this evening’,” the AI read back.

Tony held up the phone to show her. “Done.”

“Awesome.” She grinned at him. “See you later then.”

“Up high, Pranks and Sass,” Stark said, and Darcy high-fived him on his way out the door.

“I feel sorry for Pepper Potts,” Loki announced dryly as they made their way to Thor and Jane’s place.

“Why?” Darcy asked, taking his hand and threading her fingers through his.

“Because I would not put it past Anthony to genetically engineer triplets just to best us,” he replied.

“Oh God, he would too. Just imagine it, multiple baby Tony Starks. Scary.”

“Terrifying,” he agreed.

Jane and Thor were ecstatic when they gave them the news. Jane cried. Thor knocked over the coffee table in his haste to hug Darcy, and congratulate his brother. Darcy felt the need to insist, yet again, that Loki hadn’t created the babies without her assistance. Although she wasn’t sure Thor actually got what she was saying. He was pretty busy getting his brother a beer and praising his virility.

Men.

She and Jane had an awesome time talking about baby stuff, and wedding stuff, and Darcy asked her to be her maid of honor. Jane accepted. 

Unfortunately, Clint, Natasha, and Banner were all out of town. Darcy was suspicious about where Banner really was. She made a mental note to stop by Athena’s when they got home. The two of them said they were just friends, but Darcy had seen Bruce doing what looked an awful lot like a walk of shame the other morning, plus he was _whistling_. Darcy had a sneaking suspicion that Athena no longer held the title of Mount Olympus’ reigning virgin goddess. 

They left the remaining invitations with Thor and Jane to deliver, and headed back to Stark Tower. It was a little strange to be back at Loki’s old apartment after all the time spent on Mount Olympus, but Darcy was tired, and she still had that meeting with Tony at eight.

They ate sushi on the couch, and made out during the commercial breaks. Darcy loved every minute of it. Now if she could only figure out a way to get the one guest at the wedding who probably mattered more than anyone else, everything would be perfect. 

She needed to talk to Tony.

And Heimdall.

It was going to be a busy night.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm just a skater grrl! -AKA- French fries with Heimdall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What, you thought Mount Olympus only had one messenger? Pft. ;)
> 
> ***********************************************************************************

The conversation with Tony went swimmingly. Once she’d assured him that he wouldn’t end up dead, he agreed on the spot. She knew he’d never be able to resist being part of the wedding of the century. The man was a consummate ham.

Now all she needed to do was talk to Heimdall, and that was a bit more complicated. If Loki heard the Bifrost, he’d know something was up. Technically, she could take the longboat and use the same secret passage between worlds that they had to get Jane her apples, but she wasn’t sure she’d be able to manage it without Loki. He was a brilliant pilot, and she had skills that were maybe one notch below Thor’s.

That meant setting something up at a neutral meeting area with the help of a third party who could travel between worlds with ease. Fortunately, Darcy knew just the right person for the job. Unfortunately, that person was Iris, and she was about as reliable as the rainbow she travelled on.

To say Iris was flaky was a total understatement. If Mount Olympus had a Luna Lovegood, it would be Iris. Although, that might have been unfair to Luna, because she always seemed to come through in the end. There was a reason why Darcy and Loki had hand-delivered their wedding invitations. Iris might have gotten distracted on the way to her destination and dropped them in ocean, or left them behind on a cloud, or God knows what.

Hermes may have been a shit, but at least he took his job seriously. Trusting Iris with the Mount Olympus mail system was like taking your letters, tossing them out a top story window, and hoping they blew where you needed them to go.

And she was Darcy’s best bet.

Bleh.

At least she was nice. Dense and flighty, but friendly.

Darcy slipped out onto the balcony at Tony’s penthouse and waited. Moments later, she could see a faint silvery thread spilling across the sky towards her, and Iris arrived, on a fucking skateboard, three feet from her on the balcony.

A _skateboard_. On a rainbow. Only Iris.

“Darcy!” she enthused, flipping the board up with her foot and catching it in her hand. “Are you ready to make the journey to Vanaheim? I have set the meeting up in a tavern in the town of…” Iris paused, brow furrowed.

Oh God. It was already starting. “Please don’t tell me you’ve forgotten where you asked Heimdall to meet me.”

“No, no. I would not say that I have forgotten...exactly. It is more that I have misplaced the memory. One moment please.” The Rainbow Goddess fluttered about for a moment, tapping her chin with a slender finger. Then she smiled at Darcy and pointed to her forehead. “Mind palace.”

Darcy groaned. She should’ve just asked Hel for help. Had she not been afraid that it might have cost her firstborn, she would have.

“How’s that whole mind palace thing going, Sherlock?” Darcy asked dryly, as Iris continued to bumble around the balcony thinking.

“Perfectly. See, I just tied my memory of your meeting place to the image of that giant statue of you in the square and so…”

“Wait,” Darcy said, catching Iris by the elbow to get her attention. “What statue of me?”

“Oh, you know, the one in Nelhalla that bears the inscription: Darcy Lewis, Goddess of Oral and Orgasms. Oooh, that’s it! Nelhalla! See? It was right there in my mind palace all along!” 

“There’s a statue of me in Nelhalla?” Darcy was going to kill Loki. Except she couldn't, because he wasn't allowed to know she'd been in Vanaheim. Dammit. 

“Yes. It is quite lovely. Whoever erected it must be very fond of you.” Iris smiled obliviously. “Well? Are you ready to leave?” She reached behind the rainbow and plucked a second skateboard out from somewhere, handing it off to Darcy.

The Goddess of Pranks and Sass sighed, and conjured herself up a helmet and knee pads. “Yeah, sure. Let’s do this.”

The trip to Vanaheim was mostly uneventful. Iris had a terrible tendency of getting bored and twisting the rainbow up into ramps and half-pipes, though. At least she smoothed them back out again behind her, so Darcy wasn’t forced to compete with in her some weird aerial version of the X Games. 

They ended up just in front of the tavern. Iris ollied her way off the rainbow, wheels landing with a rolling crash on the cobblestones. Darcy twisted sideways and pulled her own skateboard to a halt, grinding down the last few feet of the colorful arc.

Through one of the public house windows, she could see the towering Guardian of Asgard, waiting for her. He was dressed pretty casually, no giant gold helmet or blinding armor, just a simple blue tunic thing, and dark grey pants with black boots. He looked way more approachable that way, and she felt a little relieved. 

Her statue, on the other hand, was just as insanely ostentatious as one would expect for something Loki had made. Fortunately, the inscription written across the front was in English. Darcy hoped that the residents of Nelhalla couldn’t actually read it. Fingers crossed, they spoke space-viking.

She made her bike helmet and pads disappear, and switched her clothes into something more Asgardian. Iris was busy doing railslides on the base of her statue. Darcy decided it would be better if she just left her to it, and went inside to talk to Heimdall.

He watched as she approached, waiting patiently until she took her seat to speak. “Greetings, Darcy Lewis.”

“Hey Heimdall, long time no see. Although, technically I was trapped inside a ring last time, so I'm not sure that counts,” she replied, and glanced down at his plate of food. “Are those steak fries?”

He pushed the plate towards the center of the table and she took a fat wedge of potato, stuffing it in her mouth.

“Oh my God, these are ridiculous. Is that rosemary? I’m totally Yelping this place.” For a few seconds she was completely taken up with chewing and swallowing. “So, I’ve got some stuff to discuss with you about Loki’s dad,” she finally said.

“Indeed?” Heimdall lifted an eyebrow at her. “What concern do you have with my king?”

She snorted. Just who did he think he was playing here? “Listen, we both know that you have the inside scoop on pretty much everything that goes on under Yggdrasil. I suspect you’ve already guessed what I’m going to ask, so why don’t we skip the pretending that you haven’t and get right down to brass tacks.”

He smiled. “You are very direct.”

“So I’ve been told.” She took another fry and bit into it, groaning as the flavor exploded over her tongue. “These are totally pregnancy craving-worthy. Seriously. I wonder if could get the cook to come work at our place on Mount Olympus? Anyway, Odin. What’s his deal? Because I think he’s behind us getting the apples for Jane, and considering how he normally acts, that’s a little confusing.”

“Perceptive as well as direct, no wonder the Trickster likes you.”

“He more than likes me, and you are evading the question. Don’t think I didn’t notice that. Did Odin call his guards off and let us pick the apples or what?”

She could see that Heimdall was warring internally. Clearly he knew, but he was conflicted over sharing the information with her.

“Heimdall, I get that you serve him, and it’s your job to be loyal. I don’t have any intention of making trouble for you or Odin, I just think that if there’s a way to repair his relationship with Loki and Thor, we should at least try. Family is important. Trust me, it’s not easy to feel like a parent abandoned you. I’ve got no clue where my mother is, and haven’t since she dumped me off when I was six. Odin is right here in Asgard. Shouldn’t they have the chance to fix things?”

He remained silent a moment, golden eyes fixed intently on her. “I have been sworn to silence on these matters, and I cannot disobey a direct order from my king. Thus I am unable to _say_ if Odin assisted in procuring apples for Jane Foster.”

Darcy’s brow furrowed. She was missing something here. Heimdall knew why she wanted to meet him. He showed up. Why do that if he didn’t want to help? Then something occurred to her. He hadn’t said that he wouldn’t tell her if Odin was involved, he’d just said he couldn’t say it out loud. Okay, she could totally play this game.

“Heimdall, why don’t we try something, hm? I’ll ask you a question, and if the answer is yes, just remain silent. If it’s no, feel free to say no. That way, you aren’t telling me the things Odin did, and you can keep your promise. How’s that?”

“Very clever, Darcy Lewis. I accept.”

“Great. Let’s do this. And you are seriously welcome to these fries. Don’t let me eat them all, because I will, and then Iris will have to roll me home.” She gestured at the plate, and then glanced around the dimly lit tavern for a moment, marshaling her thoughts. “Okay, so Iðunn’s apples, did Odin call his guards off and let us get them for Jane?”

Heimdall, remained silent, but she could see the affirmation in his eyes.

“Cool. Was he watching when it happened?”

“ _I_ was watching when it happened,” the deep-voiced guardian replied.

“Right, but was he there with you?”

No response. That meant Odin was there, supervising the whole thing, but why? He’d called Jane a goat when he met her. Had he changed his mind about her?

“Does he know they eloped? Thor and Jane, I mean. Does he know Thor married Jane?”

Heimdall said nothing, just picked up one of the delicious steak fries and ate it.

“Oh my God, does he keep tabs on us? He does, doesn’t he?” she asked, feeling more than a little exasperated with the Allfather. 

Still nothing from the giant on the other side of the table, which meant she was completely spot on. What to ask next?

“Heimdall,” she began in a much quieter tone, “was he involved in getting me out of Helheim?”

The continued silence was deafening. Odin had helped both his sons’ women then. Why do this and not tell them? 

“Is he kind of being a dumbass martyr right now?”

Heimdall’s lips twitched, but he didn’t reply.

“That’s stupid. They _need_ to know this. He ought to tell them.”

“I agree,” he finally said. “Asgard has been without joy since my queen died and her sons were banished. What would you have me do?”

She held up a thick, cream-colored envelope and slid it across the table. ”I’d like for him to come to the wedding, but he needs to talk to his sons first. Odin can’t just sit here doing good deeds in secret from his throne in Asgard. It’s not enough, and it’s letting him get out of apologizing. I’m sorry, Heimdall, but you know I’m right. He gets to feel like he’s mending fences in his own way, without ever having to accept any blame. Odin made this mess. It started way back when he kidnapped Loki from Jötunheim and then lied to him his entire life about who he was. He raised his kids in competition with each other, and held Thor and Loki responsible for the fallout. That’s crap parenting. They have every right to hate him. The thing is, though, they don’t. Even Loki still calls himself Loki _Odinson_. The Allfather has a chance to make things right. He needs to do it.”

He took the envelope. “I shall speak with my king.”

“Awesome. I think we’re done here then. Thanks, Heimdall.” Darcy held her hand out, and he clasped it briefly before letting it go. She grabbed a couple more fries for the road, and then headed out to find Iris.

Ten seconds later, she was back in the tavern feeling like a total idiot.

“I don’t suppose you could give me a ride home,” she asked, and he started to laugh.

*********************************************

Odin stared a long time at the engraved invitation in his hand, and the handwritten note which had accompanied it. The girl was bold and impertinent, but then again, any woman who chose Loki would have to be.

She was also right. He needed to speak with his sons at last. The Allfather sat down at his desk and composed a reply, carefully applying his seal before handing it off to one of his pet ravens to be delivered. It was done. Perhaps now he would have the peace in his family that Frigga had wished. 

He was finally able to admit to himself that he wished it as well.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Return to Asgard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! It might be a day or two until the next chapter. My little guy starts kindergarten tomorrow!!! Exciting, right? Truthfully, I'm a little verklempt over it. I have no idea where the time went. How do they grow so fast? It is crazytown.
> 
> Also, LicieOIC made the most amazing, incredible, beautiful TaserTricks artwork, and I really, desperately want to share it, but I sort of want to use it for a particular chapter that is coming up...for reasons. You can all see it if you go on her tumblr page though. Or mine. Either work. Seriously though, guys, you should follow her. She's awesomely talented. Licie writes, and does art, and loves DW. She is one cool chick. :D
> 
> ********************************************

They were back in Asgard. She and Loki had arrived with an entire retinue of Olympians including her father and grandfather. Apparently, no one trusted Odin. Plus, Ares now knew she was pregnant and wasn’t about to let his daughter get thrown into some Asgardian prison cell while she was carrying his grandchild. 

_That_ had a been a conversation Darcy had no interest in reliving. Words had been said. Spears had been brandished. Ares learned that his little girl had more of his genes than he’d suspected. An agreement was reached, although both parties weren’t entirely thrilled with the results.

Once they returned to Mount Olympus, Darcy would move back in with her father until she and Loki were married. There was some sort of traditional wedding thing where the daughter makes a journey from her father’s home to her husband’s, and Ares was dead set on that happening. In return, the God of War would not kill Loki for, as he put it, stealing Darcy’s virtue, and Tony got to walk her down the aisle. 

Darcy sighed. It could be worse. Besides, Loki was planning on teleporting to her room at night, which would help. Ares would never know, and it wasn’t like Loki could get her anymore pregnant than she already was. 

Now all she had to contend with was working through the issues between the Allfather and his sons. Or, as she liked to call it, de-asshatting Odin. So far, it had been okay. Mostly.

They’d all arrived via Bifrost last night. Even Heimdall had looked impressed with the sheer size of the posse they’d brought with them. Tony, Clint, and Bruce had insisted on joining Team Hammer. Meanwhile, Team Mischief had been flanked by Athena, Ares, Zeus, Dionysus (who insisted on coming once he heard Tony would be there), Aphrodite (her royal smirkiness had a thing for Fandral, ew), and Ladon the dragon, because why not? Right? Why not a dragon on top of what might be the most volatile familial negotiations since the Borgia’s ruled Rome. 

Odin actually came out to greet them in the observatory rather than awaiting them in pomp and circumstance in his throne room. Darcy thought that was pretty smart of him. She didn’t doubt that both Odinson boys would have turned around and gone straight back home had they sensed even a smidgen of arrogance from their father.

It had been stiff, and formal, and Loki was totally sarcastic, but it hadn’t ended in a bloody free-for-all, so Darcy decided it went fairly well. They were now back in his rooms at the palace, waiting for dinner. 

She wasn’t exactly supposed to be in his rooms. At least, she assumed she wasn’t. Odin had put her up in a suite several doors down from Loki. It seemed that he shared the same beliefs as Ares when it came to unmarried couples. As if her growing bump wouldn’t announce to everyone what was up anyway.

So, she’d been put in her own rooms, and maybe thirty seconds later, Loki appeared, wrapped his arms around her, and teleported her straight back to his. He was on edge. Darcy could feel it in the tenseness of his muscles and see it in the wariness of his gaze. 

In an effort to distract him, she’d pulled out a bunch of books on baby naming that she’d brought with her, and they curled up in his bed together to look them over. The name search was… Well, let’s just say Darcy was glad they still had most of her pregnancy to pick one. To date, she hadn't been unable to find even one Norse-sounding name that didn’t make her wince. 

Loki, who was used to the space-viking-y words full of h’s and r’s, was mostly concerned with the meaning behind the names. They kept running into the problem of her liking the sound of something, and him not liking the meaning behind it. Plus, the name she originally liked for a boy had turned out to mean swamp. What sadistic person would even put that in a book for unsuspecting parents to choose? Seriously.

Greek names were a little better. Emphasis on ‘a little’. So she’d talked to Loki about some other choices, and they had gotten some books with Gaelic names and even one with Welsh as well. 

“What about Faolan?” she asked, head propped up on a pillow against his hip.

Loki leaned forward to read over her shoulder. “What is that? Irish?”

“Mmhm, it means ‘little wolf'.” She was giggling even as she got the words out. “Or we could go with Jórunn. It means ‘stallion’.”

He gave her a withering glance. “Keep that up, and I shall leave you at the altar.”

“No you won’t,” she replied. “Besides, it would be like an homage to Snorri, and we both know how much you like him.”

He cooly reached over and upended a cascade of pillows down on top of her. She pushed off the pillows and grinned at him, reaching up to catch the collar of his leather coat and pull him down for a kiss. The angle was awkward, and it only lasted a few seconds before Loki had to sit back up. 

“Maybe we ought to wait until we see them,” Darcy said, tossing the book across the bed. “We could pick any name, and then when they actually get here it might seem all wrong.”

“We could,” he agreed, setting his own book down on a nearby table. “It would certainly ensure that their names suited them.”

“You were named later, right? I mean, Odin had no idea what your real name was. He must have picked Loki.”

“Frigga chose my name. She sensed magic in me the first time she held me. Odin chose Thor’s name.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Well, that totally makes sense. I’m surprised he didn’t name him something even more manly. Was Butch Camaro taken?”

Loki shook his head. “Sometimes I cannot decide whether I wish I could understand the nonsensical things you say, or if it is better that they remain a mystery.”

“In this case,” she said with a smile, “you are totally missing out. Hey Loki, what did you look like when you were little?”

If he was surprised by her sudden change of subject, it didn’t show. In truth, he was probably used to it by now. 

“Would you like to see a miniature?” he inquired. “There are some over there in that enameled box on the bookshelves.”

Darcy hopped up and got the box, returning to snuggle next to him in the bed. She pried off the lid and lifted out the first small painting, which was set in an ornate silver frame. It showed a solemn young boy, maybe six years old, with wavy dark hair, and big, liquid green eyes. 

“You look so serious,” she said, tracing her finger along the edge of the frame. 

“I was a bit. When I was not working my fledgling magic to get into trouble, that is.” He took the portrait and set it to the side, handing her another one.

This one had a lovely woman smiling down at the small, fair-skinned baby in her lap.

“Is this your mother?” Darcy asked.

He gazed quietly at the picture for a moment. “Yes. That must have been done not long after Odin brought me to Asgard.”

She took his hand in hers and squeezed it. “I’m sorry I never got to meet her. I bet she was amazing.”

He nodded. “She was. Asgard will never be the same without her. She was like a vibrant branch of Yggdrasil contained in the body of a woman. The heart of the entire realm.”

Darcy studied the miniature for a few more seconds and then gently set it next to the other one she’d already seen.

The third painting was two of teenage boys, one strapping and blonde, the other one slender and raven-haired, standing out in front of a stone wall. Thor was holding Mjölnir loosely in one hand, and grinning congenially at the artist. Loki was smiling as well, but it had his usual, slightly cocky air of mischief about it. She got the impression that he’d totally been up to no good that day. Her assumption was reinforced by the current flash of amusement in his eyes as he looked at the picture with her.

“Do I even want to know?” She turned to face him, eyebrow quirked.

He cleared his throat. “Most likely not.”

“Uhuh. I thought so.” The Goddess of Pranks and Sass placed the painting next to the other two and reached for the last one.

“Oh,” she said, eyeing the little miniature with open admiration. “How old were you here?”

“It was not done that long ago. Perhaps a year before what was to be Thor’s coronation.”

She looked at him in shock. “Are you serious? You look so much younger. And your hair. I’ve never seen it so short.”

Loki shrugged. “I wore it cut shorter my entire life until I left Asgard. Do you like it?”

“It’s just so different. I mean, who is this guy? Look at his puppydog eyes. God, Loki, if I’d been your maid, I would have been all over you. Literally, I would have been up here to dust twice a day just to look at you.”

“Had you been my chambermaid, you never would have been allowed to go back downstairs once I’d seen you,” he responded, pulling her fingers up to his lips and brushing a kiss over her knuckles.

“You totally would have tumbled me,” she teased.

“Undoubtedly, constantly, and with reckless abandon,” he answered. 

Darcy laughed, and then looked back at the small portrait in her hands. “You look so innocent here. Hopeful.”

Loki took it from her and set it back in the box. “That was before I knew what I was, and what Odin had done. I cannot even describe what it felt like to believe I was a monster, something that should be feared and destroyed.”

“We’re never letting our son feel like that. Ever. He’s going to be surrounded with love and acceptance from the moment he’s born. They both will, and anyone who says differently will have to go through me.”

“We won’t live here, then. Prejudice against the Jötunn runs through Asgard like poison. I would not subject my children to that.”

“Maybe,” she pondered, “we just need to change their minds.”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “What are you suggesting?”

“Why don’t I go down to dinner on the arm of my gorgeous, frosty fiancé?”

“Let me understand you,” Loki said, pulling back to look at her. “You are asking me to attend a royal meal in my Jötunn form?”

“Why not? It’s who you are. There’s nothing wrong with it, and I love when you’re blue. Just...you know, try not to bite anyone or have your way with me on the table and we should be fine.” She grinned up at him.

A flash of crimson flickered through his green eyes. “What if I wish to bite _you_?”

“Sorry, you’ll have to save it for the bedroom. I'm serious though. Go blue for dinner. Let’s show everyone that there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Darcy encouraged. 

He hesitated.

“I’ll dress up as a chambermaid for you later,” she offered. “You can totally toss up my skirts and have me on the desk, or over the desk. I’m not picky.” The thread of red flashed in his irises again and Darcy knew she had him.

“The armchair.”

“What?”

He smiled salaciously. “I will have you over the armchair.”

“I knew I was going to win,” she replied smugly.

“You nearly always do.”

Darcy stretched up and kissed him. “Unless you do.”

“Yes,” he said, sliding his arms around her and pulling her into his lap. “Unless I do.”

For a few seconds there was silence as they were otherwise occupied, and then…

“Loki?”

“Hm?”

“Even when you win, I still win.”

He gave a low chuckle. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to give my husband credit for the Butch Camaro thing. That was actually on his list of potential baby names for our son.
> 
> He was kidding.
> 
> I hope, anyway.
> 
> For the record, my son calls himself Fire Lightningrock. Really. He is one cool little dude.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Blue Banquet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheeeee! Darcy has a little chat with Odin. About stuff...things. ;)
> 
> I played with the whole Midgardian years versus Asgardian years thing here. If you look it up, someone went to all the trouble of making a mathematical equation where you could determine (theoretically) how old Thor and Loki really are maturity-wise in Earth years. They probably went to a lot of time to do this, and I promptly looked at it...messed with it, and came up with my own ideas. So, if the person who did that is reading this story, I apologize in advance. Your math was awesome. Mine is questionable. What can I say? I'm a rebel. :D
> 
> ***************************************************************************

When Darcy swept into the banquet on Loki’s arm, the entire room went deathly still. The only thing that was missing was the sound of a needle scratching across a record, or possibly crickets and a tumbleweed. Either would have worked. 

She looked up at him and smiled, fingers tightening supportively around his wrist. He smiled back, but she could see the strain around his eyes. Darcy was counting on their friends to come through, and she wasn’t disappointed.

Thor was the first one on his feet. Without a moment’s hesitation, he strode across the room and clapped Loki on the shoulder. “Brother! Little sister! Come, your seats are with ours.”

Darcy had to take a deep breath just to keep from getting a little teary. Thor led them to his table, protective hand still on Loki’s shoulder, and defiant gaze traveling slowly over the assembled guests. 

Tony took the whole thing in stride, nodding from over his tankard and giving Loki a thumbs up. “Blue is a good look for you, Reindeer Games, and the eyes… Super-freaky, but they totally work. I’m a little disappointed that you don’t actually have horns, but all in all, four stars.”

Athena and Bruce smiled welcomingly, and Clint didn’t even bat an eye. Dionysus saluted them with his goblet, and Ares looked around the room fiercely, as if daring anyone to say a word against his future son-in-law. No one did.

They took their seats, and conversation slowly resumed in the room. Zeus was sitting next to Odin at the other end of the table, and Aphrodite was directly behind them with the Warriors Three and Sif. The Goddess of Love was totally holding court at the long trestle table, much to Sif’s annoyance.

Darcy couldn’t believe how grateful she was to Eros’ mother. An hour before dinner, Aphrodite had shown up at Loki’s room with a crew of attendants and one of the most gorgeous white dresses Darcy had ever seen. 

“I assumed you would be in here,” she said, lifting up the gown to show Darcy. “What sort of fool would think they could keep the two of you separated, hm? Ridiculous formalities. I have no use for them. Now come my dear, you will wish to look every inch the goddess tonight.”

Aphrodite bustled Darcy off to Loki’s massive bathroom and within half an hour had her completely dressed and coiffed. The dress was empire waisted, with floaty trailing skirts, and an almost obscenely high slit up the one side. 

“There.” She smiled in satisfaction as she tied in the final knot in the gold braid belt under Darcy’s bust. “We will accentuate your best assets, and the little ones all at once. You are beautiful, blooming. Let anyone speak against you and I shall claw their eyes out.”

Darcy didn't doubt she would do it, too. Aphrodite was catty as hell. Sitting with the Warriors Three had been a strategic move. It meant they have supporters at two key head tables. They glanced at each other and she leaned across the aisle to touch Darcy’s shoulder.

“I see why you keep him all to yourself. So very exotic, is he not? And those teeth! What they must feel like upon your neck. Delicious. Tell me Fandral.” She turned back to the warrior with a brilliant smile. “Do you perhaps hide a ravishing Jötunn god under that lovely golden skin of yours?”

Fandral actually dropped his fork with a clatter. “No, my lady, I am Asgardian.”

Aphrodite patted his hand sympathetically. “Such a pity. Ah well, we cannot all be as fortunate as the Goddess of Merriment and Candor. I shall have to make do with what is allotted to me.” 

Sif looked as if she’d accidentally eaten a lemon. It didn’t escape Aphrodite’s notice.

“Do take care, my dear, your jealousy is showing,” she said confidingly across the table to the younger woman.

Darcy had to take a quick sip of her drink just to hide her smile. Then she leaned closer to Loki and spoke quietly in his ear. “Just so you know, I’m totally not wearing panties.”

He choked on his ale, and she had to thump on his back a few times until he recovered.

“Brother, are you alright?” Thor inquired, forehead wrinkled with concern. 

Loki looked at Darcy who was grinning wickedly at him. “I am fine. Remind me to dismiss my chambermaid later. I have found someone else for the job.”

The God of Thunder looked completely confused, but seemed to know better than to ask. 

“So,” Banner said, looking at the two brothers, “when do you have your audience with Odin?”

“Oh yeah,” Tony added. “When is the sit down with Captain Eyepatch?”

“Tomorrow morning. He has asked us to go hunting with him,” Thor answered.

“Hunting? What, like an Asgardian safari?” Tony perked up. “Got room for Dionysus and me in that party?”

“I should like to attend as well,” Athena declared. “As perhaps would Ares.”

Darcy wondered what the sudden interest in chasing small fluffy animals around was, and then realized this was their friends circling the wagons. If anything went wrong, the two brothers would be protected. 

“Certainly you may join us,” Thor replied graciously. “Maybe we can even flush out a bilge snipe and have some real sport.”

“A bilge snipe?” Clint set what looked like a smoked turkey leg down so he could join the conversation. “What’s that?”

Loki's lips twitched. “Charming animal. Large, slavering, rather pungent odor…”

Both brothers started to laugh.

“Do you remember the time one got into the garden, and mother held it at bay with nothing more than a rake and righteous indignation?” Thor asked Loki. “We were terrified.”

“ _You_ were terrified,” Loki scoffed. “I recall her saying that Heimdall had to talk you out from under a bench afterwards.”

“Yes, well, at least I did not teleport into Álfheim. It took us two days to determine where you were. I still remember when the delegation of Ljósálfar arrived to bring you home. Father was nearly apoplectic.”

“You have no evidence that I went there for any other reason than I wished to visit,” Loki replied, reaching for the serving spoon in a dish of roasted vegetables.

Thor grinned at him. “Yes, I am sure that was all you had intended. The part where you screamed like a young maiden was just for show.”

Loki snorted. “I did not sound like a maiden.”

Tho made a loud squeaking wail and everyone at the table collapsed with mirth, including Loki. 

“How old were you two when this happened?” Darcy asked.

The God of Thunder thought for a moment. “I was seven, Loki was six. Well, the equivalent in Midgardian years anyway.”

“And the bilge snipe? What happened to it?” Athena inquired.

“Father and Heimdall dispatched it. Mother was furious, they got innards all over her herbs. She gave them such a dressing down,” Thor answered.

“Did she?” Loki asked. “Was she still holding the rake?”

“Indeed she was.” Thor shook his head in amusement at the memory. “There they were in all their armor, and mother brandishing the rake at them like it was a broadsword. I do not doubt that she could have handled the bilge snipe on her own. Even without the rake.”

“Now I’m sorry that I ended up in Álfheim," Loki mused. "Staying would have been worth it just to see that.”

“Did you mean to teleport so far?” Darcy asked.

He smiled at her. “No. I did not even realize I had used my powers until I found myself surrounded by a band of perplexed Ljósálfar in the midst of their palace courtyard.”

“What did you say?”

“He threw up,” Thor offered with a snort. “Teleportation can be hell on the stomach.”

“Ugh, yeah it is,” Darcy agreed. “He’s always having to do this anti-nausea spell for me.”

“Really?” Tony looked surprised. “I’ve never seen Loki look anything but bored after teleporting.”

Loki shrugged. “I have had over a thousand years to get used to the effects.”

“Yeah, granddad. We all know how old you two are,” Tony said dryly. “How does that work, anyway? Is Darcy like newborn to you?”

Thor and Loki exchanged a glance. “Not exactly.”

“So what is it then? Dog years?”

“Technically,’ Darcy inserted, “we’re about the same age. In fact, if you do that math, which is hella complicated and hurts my head, I’m actually older. Plus I’m a girl, and everyone knows girl years are like five to every boy year. I’m practically a cougar, right babe?” 

He grinned, fangs glinting in the late afternoon sunlight coming in through the windows. “Proof that _you_ are the one who corrupted _me_.”

Tony looked floored. Jane looked even more floored.

“Wait,” she said, setting her fork down on her plate. “How old were you when Thor was banished to Earth the first time?”

“In Asgardian years, or Midgardian equivalent?” Loki asked.

Jane’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Midgardian equivalent.”

“Oooh, can I tell her?” Darcy begged. “Please?”

“Go ahead,” he replied indulgently. “That way I will not be held responsible for whatever is about to unleashed on my brother.”

The Goddess of Pranks and Sass giggled. “She’s totally going to kill him, isn’t she? Anyway, Loki was something like what we would consider seventeen or eighteen when he sent the Destroyer down into New Mexico.”

“You were… I’m sorry. I need a minute.” Jane turned to Thor. “You’re a year and a half older than he is, right?”

He nodded rather sheepishly. “In essence.”

“So that means you were nineteen???” she screeched. “Nineteen??? Nineteen and I kissed you! You kissed me! We kissed. Oh my god, how old are you right now?”

“Jaaaane robbed the craaaadle,” Darcy sang softly, staring down at her plate and smirking.

Jane was silent for a moment and Darcy could actually see her attempting to work out the mathematical equation in her head. 

“Jane, this does not change the fact that I love you, or that I am truly more than a thousand years old. Regardless, I would have been closer to twenty-one when we first met. The math is not as simple as what Darcy has explained.” Thor attempted to sooth his shell-shocked wife.

“How dead do you think your brother is going to be in about five seconds?” Darcy asked Loki, taking a roasted mushroom off his plate and popping it into her mouth.

He speared another one on his fork and held it out to her. “That depends on whether he can outrun her. Shall we wager on it?”

“Hundred bucks says he never even makes it up from the table.” Tony began to get his wallet out.

“I’ll put two hundred on Thor,” Clint said, “but I bet he uses Mjölnir, and flies straight out that window.” He pointed to one of the long, open sets of french doors that lined the room and led to the gardens outside.

“I believe the outcome largely depends on whether he can reach his hammer before she can reach my sword,” Athena said with a chuckle, and set the gleaming weapon on the table.

“Is there to be bloodshed in my banquet hall?” a commanding voice questioned from behind them, and Darcy froze.

Odin. 

Loki stiffened all over, and set his goblet down with exact precision.

“Father,” Thor acknowledged. 

The God of Mischief and Lies said nothing. Darcy swiveled around in her seat so she could face the Allfather, fully prepared to enact a little bloodshed of her own if he so much as blinked at Loki being blue.

To his credit, he acted as if Loki attending a meal in his Jötunn form was an everyday occurrence.

“I was hoping that I might have a moment to speak with your betrothed, Loki, as she will not be attending the hunt with us tomorrow,” Odin requested.

“Alone, I am assuming?” Loki asked, face darkening.

Odin sighed. “I would prefer we were not overheard, yes. However, you have my word that nothing untoward shall befall her.”

Athena abruptly rose from the table and sheathed her sword. “I shall attend my niece while she speaks with you.”

The whole room immediately fixated on the tableau playing out between the imposing goddess and the Allfather. After a moment’s hesitation, he acquiesced. Darcy gave Loki’s knee a reassuring squeeze under the table and then stood up. Odin led the way out of the room, and she followed with Athena walking at her side.

They ended up outside in a side garden. Athena trailed just far enough behind that their conversation was private, but close enough to defend Darcy if she felt it was necessary. 

“I see it is your intention to make me a grandfather,” Odin said with little preamble.

“It was my _intention_ over two months ago when I tackled your son and asked to have his babies. Now it’s more of an inevitability,” Darcy replied, patting her little bump.

She caught a flash of green and gold out of the corner of her eye near some of the thicker shrubbery. Of course Loki had sent a double to keep an eye on her. She was sure Odin must have been aware of it as well, but he gave no indication of noticing.

“The boy is Jötunn?” he inquired.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “I see Heimdall tattled. But yeah, it looks like our daughter is like me, and our son is like Loki. Is that going to be a problem for you? Because whatever you’re hoping to achieve here is going to end right now if that’s the case. Nobody is going to tell me anything is wrong with Loki or my children. Especially you.”

Athena became more watchful the moment she heard the heat in Darcy’s voice, and Darcy held up a hand to stave her off and give Odin a chance to reply.

He met her stare with an unflinching gaze of his own. “You are as bold in person as you were in your missive to me.”

“I’m protective of my family,” she said. “Something I would expect a father to understand. Given your past actions, though, I’m not sure if you would.”

For a moment she saw a brief, irritated flash in his eyes, and then his shoulders sagged. “Sadly, there is no fault to be found in your assessment of me. I have made many mistakes with my children. Some of them were made to protect them, but many were the product of ambition and pride. Regardless, I love them, and wish to make amends.”

“For their sake, or for Frigga’s?” Darcy asked shrewdly. “Because while I think it’s admirable of you to want to honor your wife’s memory by sorting things out with your kids, she’s not here. They are. If you aren’t doing this for them, they might as well be dangling off the Bifrost again with Loki posed to fall.”

Odin’s expression was inscrutable. “You believe my motives to be insincere?”

“Are they?” she questioned.

“I will admit my initial need to repair the relationship between my sons and myself was born out of honoring their mother. However, that is no longer the case. Thor married, and I was not present. Loki is to be a father, and I have only met his betrothed now. It cuts me that this situation is of my own making. I would not be estranged from them any longer. My grandchildren should be welcome to find a home in Asgard as well as Mount Olympus or Midgard. I would have the kind of laughter I heard at the banquet this evening in my halls again.”

She nodded slowly. “You want your family back in the palace.”

“I do.”

“Even if that did happen, and I’m not saying it will, Loki and I have a home on Mount Olympus. I’m an Olympian goddess, and he’s accepted immortality with me. Staying here would be part time at best, and it would be nonexistent if we thought for one second that our children would be treated poorly due to their parentage,” Darcy asserted.

“I think your display this evening may go a long way to inform the court of your feelings towards Loki’s true nature,” Odin said wryly.

“It’s not a display,” Darcy retorted angrily. “That’s who Loki is. The fact that I accepted it, and you couldn’t to the point where you didn’t even tell him he was the Prince of Jötunheim until he accidentally found out a thousand years after you brought him here is sickening, Odin. Between that betrayal and the Stockholm Syndrome style brainwashing Thanos did when he found Loki all broken after his fall off the Bifrost, I’m surprised there was anything left of the boy Frigga raised at all. There is though. Otherwise he never would have saved Jane and Thor from Malekith. For the record, he thought helping them would save all the realms. I’m not sure if you knew that.”

Odin let her rail at him, not saying a single word in his defense. When she’d finally finished, Darcy was practically panting from her little tirade. 

“I feel that your words have been waiting a long time to be said,” the Allfather remarked. “Is your spleen sufficiently vented?” 

“If you’re asking whether or not it felt good to tell you off, then yes. It did,” she said, eyeing him warily in case he was about to flip out.

“Good. Then I shall take this opportunity to tell you what I intend to offer my sons tomorrow. I am old, and tired. It is time for me to step down. I would turn my crown over to Thor, and allow him and Jane to rule as Frigga and I once did. Loki will receive a complete pardon, and his place here shall be restored to him. It is clear that Thor and Loki have become close again. I doubt prejudice against the Jötunn race would tolerated under Thor’s rule.”

She was completely stunned. “You’re going to offer Thor the throne?”

“If he wishes it.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

Odin fixed her with a fierce gaze. “Do you have reason to believe he will refuse?”

“None,” she replied easily. “And more than that, I think he should take it. Plus, Jane would love having all the Asgardian science and technology at her fingertips, and she’d make an awesome queen. Maybe her emblem could be a goat.”

“Yet another thing I must apologize for, I see,” Odin responded, not missing her pointed comment. “She is more than worthy of my son.”

“Yeah she is. Jane rocks. And for the record, I’m not so bad either. Loki is a lucky man.”

The Allfather studied her intently for a moment. “It would seem that he is.”

“I’m lucky too. I love your son, Odin. This family is my priority. So keep that in mind, because if you hurt him again I am going on to be on your ass with the entire Olympian army at my back. Understood?”

To her surprise, the Allfather smiled. 

“You’re not imagining spearing me with Gungnir right now, are you?” she asked nervously.

He chuckled. “No. You remind me of someone who also fiercely protected her family. I believe she would have enjoyed knowing you, Darcy Lewis.”

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “From what Loki has told me, I think I would have really liked her too.”

“You would have,” he agreed. 

“Listen, I should probably get back before my friends start arranging search parties. They’re a little overprotective ever since the whole Helheim thing. I’m glad we got to talk, though. I hope tomorrow goes well. If Thor asks me, I’ll tell him I think he should take the job.”

Odin nodded, and she turned around and walked slowly back to the banquet hall, Athena by her side.

“He intends to make Thor king?” the other goddess asked, matching her stride.

“Yep, and he’s going to pardon Loki.”

“A wise decision. Are you happy with it?” 

“As long as Loki is, then I’m cool with it,” Darcy said. “It’s not like Odin could offer the throne to him after everything that happened, and I already know Loki would never take it.”

“No,” Athena replied with a sly smile. “The Trickster’s focus is no longer on ruling. He is quite taken with his current responsibilities.”

“Was that just your super-diplomatic way of saying that he’s too busy rocking my world to care about being King of Asgard?”

The Goddess of Wisdom’s smile widened. “You may infer what you wish.”

“You are totally my cool aunt, you know that right?” Darcy said, and Athena laughed. “Anyway, let’s get in there before Volstagg eats all the best food. I wouldn't put it past him to start begging at other tables, and I had my eye on that platter of turkey-ish stuff.”

“I believe it was pheasant.”

“Whatever, I’m totally going to eat it.”

They increased their pace. Darcy was already wondering how much Loki had heard through the double. They would have a lot to talk about after dinner. Plus there was the whole chambermaid thing. All in all, it was going to be a satisfying night. After pheasant though, because seriously, like she said to Athena, she was totally going to eat that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a total swirling vortex of doom moment this morning over something I read on tumblr, and Glo had to send me this to make it all better:  
> 
> 
> Anyway, I literally giggled and then blushed like a ridiculous little schoolgirl. So of course I had to share it with all of you, because dammit...just look at him.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody woke up happy (that means it is nsfw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split this chapter into two so everyone had something to read today. :D It has been a crazy week, and weekends tend to be busy for me, so I wanted you to have a chapter in case it took a day or two for the next one. Sorry I'm not updating as quickly. Things should be back to normal next week.
> 
> *****************************************************************

Darcy woke to the sound of horns, and what sounded like three hundred dogs baying just outside their window. She immediately yanked a pillow over her head and pulled the covers up on top of that.

“You've got to be kidding me. It's still dark out. What sort of psycho goes hunting at night?”

Long arms snaked around her waist and pulled her out from inside her impromptu cocoon. “That is what Odin considers a wake-up call. I will be expected for breakfast shortly with the rest of our party.”

She curved against him like a spoon, and was promptly met by her favorite part of waking up with Loki. “Mmm, hello there. Want me to make you late for breakfast?”

He groaned as she reached back and stroked him with her hand. “Please do.”

“Am I still a chambermaid?” she teased, noticing the shredded remains of what had been an apron a few hours earlier strewn across the floor.

“You,” he replied, causing her to make an inarticulate sound of pleasure as he aligned himself and thrust up inside her, “are a goddess, and I am worshiping you, _Darcy_.”

The sound of him invoking her name sent heady vibrations all over her skin. She arched her back to take him deeper and he rocked up into her in response.

It was quiet, sleepy. Soft white light began to fill the room while they moved together. Loki pressed his lips against her neck and she reached up and threaded her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. 

“Do you want me to touch you, minn sváss?” he asked, and she nodded.

His fingers skimmed down over the slight half-moon curvature of her belly and slipped between her thighs. 

“Loki…” she moaned as his fingertips set up a teasing, feather-light rhythm.

“Patience,” he coaxed, “we’re making me late, remember?”

“Let’s make you early instead,” she replied and Loki chuckled.

He increased his pressure, but continued to hold her at bay, bringing her just to the point of release and then shifting his fingers lower to trace around where they were joined.

After the third time of doing this Darcy grumbled, “Stop being such a fucking sadist.”

“Sadist am I? I ought to punish you for that, but as I am unable to deny you anything…” He resumed his attention to her clit. 

Loki’s fingers were lightly calloused from all the practice with his daggers, and Darcy could feel every minute contrast in texture as they rubbed over her sensitive flesh. 

“God… _God_! Please, just...just like that.” Her breathing was growing shallow, hips matching the rolling thrust of his.

“Talk to me,” he whispered. “I want to know what you are feeling.”

She trembled a little from the low, gravel of his voice so close to her ear. “You are so fucking good at this, Loki. _Fuck_...” Her fingers tightened in his hair.

“Inside, Darcy. What does it feel like inside?”

Her eyes closed as she tried to find enough coherent thought to describe it. “It’s like you're everywhere. So thick...and deep, and…” She gasped sharply as he gave a particularly forceful thrust. “Jesus Christ!”

“Who?” he asked, and in her mind’s eye she could totally see him smirking in amusement with one eyebrow quirked.

Darcy couldn’t help but smile. She knew just what he wanted. “ _Loki_ ,” she replied, putting everything she had into invoking his name.

It was obvious when it hit him, his fingers flexing over her briefly before roughly resuming their motions. She was lost in the sensation that was building between them, whimpering his name as he answered her with her own.

Loki dipped his head, nipping at the skin of her neck before brushing his lips over the shell of her ear. “Now, minn sváss,” he growled. “ _Come_.”

She had another second of balancing on the edge of release and then the next stroke of his fingers tipped her right over. It was like a frenzied buzz that grew and grew in intensity until she could feel it all the way down to her toes. He held her there, drawing out her orgasm as long as he could before seeking his own. 

The moment she began to still, Loki moved his hand, reaching down to catch her thigh and lift it up along his own. His strokes became urgent and fast, until his hips snapped up hard and she could feel him shuddering, mouth pressed to her shoulder as he climaxed inside her.

Darcy gave them both a minute to recover, and then rolled over to face him. She propped her head up with one hand and smiled. “I love this.”

He smiled back, cheeks still flushed and eyes dark with spent desire. “Which this?”

“Wrecking you,” she said. “You should see yourself right now. Post-fuck Loki is possibly the hottest thing on Earth. Or Asgard. Or anywhere else for that matter. But then again so is pre-fuck Loki and during-fuck Loki.”

“I am going to remember this the next time you point out that my ego is larger than most Midgardian countries,” he replied wryly.

She rolled her eyes. “Do you think they’re still serving breakfast?”

He glanced at the window to see how high the sun was, and then pushed himself up into a sitting position. “Yes. If we hurry, we may even get there before Volstagg eats all the bacon.”

“You have bacon in Asgard?” Darcy asked, totally impressed.

“I can assure you, minn sváss, bacon is universal. Even Muspelheim has bacon.”

“Okay,” she said, sliding off the bed. “Let’s go swim in that lake you call a bathtub, and then you can cart me off to breakfast.”

He joined her as she padded naked to the bathroom. A short time later they were both dressed and headed down to the dining hall. Halfway there she suddenly stopped, made a beeline for a nearby vase, and promptly deposited the crackers she’d eaten after taking her bath into it.

Loki wound his arms around her, gently supporting her until she was finished. This was why she wasn’t going on the hunt. The nausea wasn’t usually too bad if she kept her stomach busy with little meals, but the idea of spending several hours on a cantering horse was less than appealing. 

Finally she straightened up, and he pulled a soft square of cloth from somewhere in his coat so she could wipe her mouth. “Better?” he asked sympathetically.

“I hate you a little bit right now,” she replied. “I mean, I love you because you’re so nice about it and you always hold my hair or tell me it’s okay, but still, Loki, I think really bad things about you when I’m puking my guts out. Sorry about that.”

He laughed. “I believe that is probably to be expected. Although I fear what you will think of me when you are in labor.”

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ve already bought you earplugs for that. Ugh! One second.” She turned back to the vase, and he put his arms around her again.

This time Darcy finished feeling all clammy and woozy. She sagged back against him and rested her cheek on the solid planes of his chest. “I think it’s because I’m worrying about the whole hunting trip with Odin thing. My stomach is all over the place. Could you do that anti-vertigo spell? The whole damn hallway is spinning right now.”

Loki rested his hands on her temples and in moments the world around her stilled. She sighed happily. 

“Do you still want breakfast? We can return to the room if you wish.”

Darcy looked up into his concerned eyes and gave him a reassuring smile. “No. I’m good. You know how it is, anyway. Five minutes from now I’ll be eating everything in sight.”

“You are certain?”

“Yep. Totally.” She glanced surreptitiously up and down the hall and then flicked her fingers at the vase, causing both the receptacle and its contents to disappear.

He looked from the spot where the vase had been residing to Darcy. “Do you have any idea where you just sent that?”

“None. Let’s just hope it’s in Svartálfaheim and move on with our lives. I want some bacon.”

A few minutes later, they walked into the room where breakfast was being served and joined Thor and Jane at a nearby table. 

“What’s up Team Hammer? Oh my God, are those beignets? Asgard has bacon _and_ beignets? Why do you have beignets? Aren’t they French? Nevermind. Don’t care.” Darcy held her plate up and Thor tipped a few of the sweet rolls on it from the large serving tray.

She tore in the first beignet ravenously, and then caught Jane grinning at her in amusement.

“What? Wait until you’re pregnant, Boss-lady. Then you’ll see how it is. I’m feeding three people here,” she declared and Jane laughed. 

Other members of their party began drifting in, and soon the table was full of noisy chatter. Breakfast flew by. Before Darcy knew it, they were all standing in a large courtyard outside while a bunch of grooms led out the horses. 

“Are you sure you do not wish me to stay?” Loki asked. “I do not like leaving you alone in the palace.”

“I’m not alone. Jane is staying to talk to Eir about all the healing technology and Zeus is going to be here. Do you really think he’s going to let anything happen to me? Besides, I know you. You’ll plant some double around here to keep an eye on me the minute you guys head out the gates. Just know that if I find it, I’m totally going to make out with it.”

He smiled at her. “It will be a welcome distraction from the conversation with Odin.”

“You already know what he’s going to say, and he already knows you know. How bad could it be? And anyway, you’re currently estranged.” She shrugged. “Does it get worse than estranged?”

“Oh, try being imprisoned in the dungeons, or having your mouth sewn shut. Both of which my _father_ has seen fit to do to me in the past.”

“Babe, he so much as looks at you funny and shit is going to get very stabby around here. He knows that. We are going to be fine. Go sort things out, and I’ll find something to occupy me here.”

“The idea of you occupying yourself here is not exactly a reassuring one,” he said dryly.

“Would you stop hovering, and get on the horse already?” she retorted. 

“Kiss me first. Should I be felled by a wild beast I want the memory of you on my lips.”

“Oh my God, such drama." She rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Loki, when we get back to Earth I’m totally finding an agent for you. Then you can do something with all this Shakespearean angst other than wasting it on me.” 

He grinned at her. “Does that mean you won’t kiss me?”

“Of course not. Bring your lips over here, Hamlet. I’ll see what I can do to make the memory worthwhile. You know, should you get eaten by a rabbit or whatever you guys are going to be chasing around out there.”

By the time he finished kissing her, the rest of the hunting party was making all sorts of loud, appreciative noises and comments. Odin was stoic as usual, but Fandral looked pretty damn impressed. 

“Listen,” she whispered before she pulled away, “try to give him a chance, okay? I’m not saying to just blindly trust him, but if this were between you and one of our children, wouldn’t you at least want them to hear you out? Give him that much.”

Loki nodded, and she gave him another peck on the lips. 

“Thank you, babe. Now. Horse. Hunting. Go have man-talk. I’ll be here, mostly behaving myself.”

“I will return in time to eat with you this evening,” he said, mounting his horse.

“You had me at you and food,” she replied. 

“That isn’t the only way I plan on having you later,” he said over his shoulder as the horse started moving. 

“I’m totally not making a horse joke right now,” she called back. “I just want you to note my incredible restraint there.”

“I’m totally going to make a horse joke,” Tony inserted as they all rode off. “In fact, I’ve been compiling a list for just such an occasion.”

Darcy was still laughing and shaking her head as she walked back into the palace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we all need to look at Loki on a horse now. For reasons.
> 
>  
> 
> And here he is walking around in all his riding gear because...damn. DAMN. _Damn_.
> 
>  


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odin makes an offer. Tony makes some jokes. Thor is sorry he asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CATS!!!!! This story has over 20k hits!!!! *does happy dance of so much joy*  
> I'm floored, and humbled, and just... As Darcy would say, "Seriously, you guys, _seriously_..." I don't even know what to say. We're getting to the last few chapters here, and it's making me a little sad. I love hearing from you, and watching you read, and knowing that there are people out there who enjoy this weird little story. Thank you so much. You are all so incredibly awesome. :D
> 
> **********************************************************

Loki had never appreciated the hunt. Most of the court enjoyed the barbaric pleasure of running some unfortunate animal down until its demise. He, on the other hand, tended towards more refined pursuits. However, the whole point of this damned trip was to attempt a reconciliation with his putative father, and so here he was, bored out of his mind, _hunting_.

He was only doing it for Thor and Darcy. Mostly Thor, because he was certain that even though Darcy had encouraged him to keep an open mind, she had no love for Odin. His brother longed to have the family restored, and Thor had gone into Helheim for Darcy. Therefore Loki was making a concerted effort to at least attempt a discussion with the Allfather. 

They’d only been riding twenty-five minutes when Darcy found his double. In truth, _found_ hardly covered the extent of what she was doing with it at the moment. 

“I thought you said make-out,” he said under his breath. 

_Loki Odinson, you know full well that you are in total control of my charming new friend. Besides, he’s dressed just like you in your riding gear. Do you have any idea how hot that is?_ Her voice replied in his head. _Rawr, babe, how are you even **doing** that? I mean, seriously, that is some skill right there. You’re talking to me right now, and meanwhile his tongue is totally...mmmmmmm… Well, you know where his tongue is. You put it there._

Loki smirked. “Split consciousness. If you would just move forward slightly… There. You are so beautiful, minn sváss.”

_You can’t possibly….uhhhhnn…expect me to talk...right now._ This was followed by a variety of whimpers and gasps, and he was thoroughly appreciating the view of her in his mind's eye spread out on his bed with her skirts tumbled about her thighs. 

“It is a very odd sensation to be jealous of oneself,” he mused.

_Shut up. I’m trying to focus on the oral awesomeness. **FUCK!** Godammit, Loki! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuuuck!_

Oh, she was making that high pitched squeak that he loved. Now he really _was_ jealous of himself. He should have stayed back at the palace and dealt with Odin later, possibly in a week or so.

“Who are you talking to, brother?” Thor clucked at his horse and trotted over so that they were side by side.

“Darcy. She is amusing herself with my double.”

“Ah,” Thor nodded. “Are you showing her the palace grounds?”

Loki managed not to laugh, but it was truly a close thing. “She is exploring, yes.” He jerked in the saddle as Darcy tackled his clone and began ripping the laces on his trousers free.

Thor’s eyebrows drew together. “Is something wrong with your saddle?”

“Not at all. A midge must have bitten me,” Loki smoothly lied. Something _had_ bitten him, but it was quite a bit larger than a midge, with a warm, wet...engaging...mouth.

“Really? I have noticed no midges. Perhaps they are just more attracted to you.”

“Who’s attracted to Reindeer Games?” Tony asked, drawing up next to them. “Wait. Let me guess. Is it that Andalusian that Athena’s riding? I thought I saw it making eyes at you, you kinky fucker. Does Pranks and Sass know that the two of you were flirting? Right in front of your son, too. For shame.” He glanced at Odin riding Sleipnir and shook his head at Loki. “How the hell does that thing canter on eight legs anyway?”

Loki ignored him. It was far more pleasant to concentrate on making Darcy scream his name.

“What? No snappy comeback? Where's the prima donna we all know and love?" Stark narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Don't tell me. There's some other you getting busy with Darcy back at the Pipe Organ Chalet right now, isn't there?.”

“I thought you said she was exploring the grounds.” Thor’s expression was somewhere between amusement and discomfiture at knowing far too much about what was going on between his brother and future sister-in-law. 

“I think you will find that I said nothing regarding the grounds,” Loki replied with a sardonic smile. “She certainly is intrepidly exploring though.”

Thor frowned. “I am not sure whether I should congratulate you, or use my blade to cut off my ears.”

“Are you kidding me?” Tony interjected. “He’s having remote sex via clone while calmly carrying on a conversation with the two of us. He should definitely be congratulated. Not that I’m not slightly repulsed. Well...more intrigued than repulsed, really. Let’s say it’s a sixty/forty kind of thing.”

For a few seconds Loki was completely unable to answer, and then turned to them both with a grin. “Forgive me, my full attention was required elsewhere. Perhaps you could be taught, Anthony. It would certainly be amusing during meetings if you could make doubles. I suspect Nicholas would actually hurl himself from the helicarrier when he found out.”

“Loki,” Thor warned, “think about this. Do we really want multiple Anthony Starks roaming about?”

“Hey Beowulf, who invited you to this party, hm? Don’t you have things to hammer?” Tony glared at Thor.

They were interrupted by loud trumpeting, and raucous baying from the hounds. Thor immediately took his leave of them and rode to the front of the pack.

“They must have spotted some quarry,” Loki said to Tony. 

“So what now? We chase whatever it is down and kill it?”

“That is the general gist of it,” Loki replied in a bored tone. “I do not know why my father insisted on this farce rather than just speaking to us privately in the palace.”

Tony pursed his lips for a second and shrugged. “Fuck if I know. Father-son bonding? I wasn’t close to my dad, and Odin seems about as big a douche-canoe as he was.”

"I have just forgiven you for the Sleipnir comment," Loki said, and Tony snorted.

Further conversation became impossible as they spurred the horses into a gallop to keep up with the other riders in the party. As he had absolutely zero interest in being involved in the actual act of taking down their quarry, Loki returned most of his focus to his fiancé.

"My apologies, lovely girl. Anthony was speaking to me."

 _Talk to Odin yet?_ Darcy was poking through the books on his shelves while his double lounged nearby watching.

“That one is in runic,” he replied, as she pulled one from the shelf. “There is a section of books written in English about a third of the way down on the other wall.”

 _So that’s a no then._ She slid the book back on the shelf. _Find a small fluffy animal to destroy?_

“Indeed. They are in the midst of destroying it as we speak. This is so tedious. I would much rather be with you.”

_Aw, babe. You’re totally making me all melty right now. I was going to meet Zeus at the stable-thing where they’re keeping Ladon. Is my new buddy going to go invisible for that?_

“That is up to you. I can recall him when you reach Zeus if you wish.”

 _But you’d rather he stuck with me, right?_ Darcy reached up and brushed a loose strand of hair off his double’s forehead. For Loki, it was like she was looking straight into his face, and he smiled back at her.

“I apologize for being so overprotective, minn sváss. Staying in Asgard makes me uneasy, and you are far to precious to me to leave unguarded.”

 _Nope. Don’t apologize. I totally get it. If I could make a double, I’d absolutely have one tailing you right now. As it is, Athena totally has your back if things get dicey._ She patted the double on the chest. _Okay, I’m heading out. Time for stealth mode_

Loki made the double invisible and Darcy watched as it faded away.

 _I already miss your face._ Her tone was rueful.

He chuckled. “When I get back, you may have us both. How is that?”

_I love you._

“I am yours, little goddess. Now, go. Meet your grandfather. Try not to get into too much trouble before I return.”

Darcy blew a kiss towards the open window that faced the woods where he was, and left the room. Loki kept tabs on her through his double, but switched most of his attention back to the hunt. They were nearing whatever prey had been found at this point. He could tell by the excited baying of the dogs.

It was a large wild boar. He watched in distaste as the poor animal was dispatched, and then trussed to a pole to be carried back to the palace. In the end it was Odin who delivered the final blow, and Loki couldn’t help but feel some sympathy for the hapless boar. He knew all too well the pitiless, unforgiving look on the face of the Allfather. It was the same one he had worn when Loki had stood before him in chains.

One of his father's personal guards trotted up on his horse. "The King would speak with you." 

A guard. Of course the great Odin was far too high and mighty to approach his black-sheep child himself. Not when there was protocol to be observed. Loki was so very tired of all this endless pretense. The conversation with Odin was already a failure and it had not even begun. With a final look at the dead boar, Loki directed his horse over to where Odin was waiting on Sleipnir.

“Do you know on Midgard they still believe that creature is my son?” Loki asked with a derisive sound of disgust. “As if I would ever let you near a child of mine.”

Odin sighed. “I have not even spoken, and yet you are angry.”

“Forgive me, _father_ , but when I look upon your face, all I can hear are the words of the past.”

“The words I spoke were the truth,” Odin replied. “Hard as they were to say.”

“Oh yes, because the truth is so very important when your son is suspended above an abyss begging for your approval. How noble that you were honest instead of saying whatever you could to draw me back upon that bridge,” Loki spat. “When the life of your child hangs in the balance, you find whatever words will save them. The truth can wait. And if you could not do it for me, then at least you could have considered my mother. Tell me, what was her response to you killing me with your need for honesty? Was she _proud_ of you for taking the higher ground?"

Odin flinched. “Frigga loved you with the heart of a mother. I believe she hated me for some time after that, until she could see how grieved I was.” 

“Grieved?" Loki rolled his eyes. "For the infant you stole while murdering his people, and then lied to for a thousand years? The child you raised to be less than his brother, a mere pawn in your games of domination over Jötunheim. Did you ever care for me at all?”

“I loved you. I love you still. You are my son, Loki. I will always see you as such, despite what has happened between us.”

Loki gave a mocking laugh. “'Despite what has happened between us.' You _caused_ what has happened between us.”

The Allfather looked sharply at him. “You still accept no responsibility for your actions then?”

“I have made reparations for my actions, both in your dungeons and on Midgard. Is it not punishment enough that the result of my behavior left me without the only parent who truly understood me?" he asked bitterly. "Had I not been in that cell, I could have protected her. Had I not enticed Thor to go to Jötunheim, he may never have met Jane Foster, and Malekith would not have been here that day seeking the Aether." 

Loki stared despondently into the forest ahead of them. “You wish to know if I accept responsibility? There are days when I fairly choke on what my actions have wrought. Then I look at Darcy, who is the very heart of me, and know that I would not have met her were it not for my mistakes. Tell me, father, how do I weigh losing my mother against gaining my wife?”

"You do not, because you need not." Odin suddenly looked very tired. “Frigga’s death was my fault, not yours, Loki. My arrogance, and inability to see beyond my own machinations, took her from us. Included in that are my failures as a husband and father. I have much to seek forgiveness for, from both you and your brother.”

“You want my forgiveness? Am I to be afforded the same courtesy? Can you forgive the child whose birthright was to die?” Loki turned away, shaking his head.

“Would that I could take back those words. They were spoken in anger. I did not mean them, and have long regretted them.”

“How unfortunate then, that they have been the ones I remember with the most clarity. Not your words of caring, or praise, but those of condemnation. You have certainly taught me well as a parent. I have but to look at you, and do the opposite.”

For a few moments his father remained silent, and then… “I am sorry, Loki. For all of it.”

It was said so quietly and humbly Loki could not believe it had come from Odin. Part of him wanted so badly to believe it. To accept that his father truly meant what he said, but the lessons of the past had been brutal. He needed more time, more evidence that there was truth behind the words.

Loki turned to the older man, eyes stinging, and replied, “I do not know if I am ready to forgive you. I want to, but there is no trust there, Father, and I cannot say if there ever will be.”

A pained look crossed Odin's face. “Perhaps then, I could aspire to earn it, and for now we could enact a truce,” he offered. “I wish to be present at your wedding, and for the birth of my grandchildren. Will you at least grant me that?”

“And your end of this truce? What do I receive in exchange?” Loki asked.

“You are to be given a full pardon, and the freedom to resume your title and position within Asgard if you wish it. Although that is yours regardless of your decision. You are my son and a prince of this realm. I would see you restored as such,” Odin declared.

Loki searched his father's face for artifice and saw none. “What of Thor?”

“If he accepts, he will become king, and Jane, his queen. It is time that I passed on the throne to someone more worthy of it,” Odin said.

“I will counsel him to accept, then,” Loki asserted. “The position is rightfully his, and there is no one more fit to rule Asgard.”

“You will support him?” Odin asked, a slight hint of surprise in his voice.

“He is my brother,” was Loki's firm reply. “Whether or not I was born to be a king, it was never to be a king of this realm. I know that now. Truthfully, I have found life without the constraint of a crown hanging over my head to be quite fulfilling.” 

Loki smiled as he thought of Darcy waiting for him back at the palace. Their life on Mount Olympus was charmed indeed, and he would not trade it for a thousand kingdoms.

“You may got to her, if you wish, and answer me later,” Odin said, taking note of the expression on his youngest son's face. “She is very likely missing you as well, and we both know you have never cared for this type of sport.”

"I believe I shall." Loki started to spur his horse on, and then turned it back. For a brief time he said nothing, warring with himself, and finally held his hand out to his father. “I accept your truce.”

Odin clasped his forearm, and for a moment held steady, meeting his gaze. “Thank you, my son.”

Loki nodded once before breaking free to head back to Darcy. He had things to discuss, and a promise to keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, you guys, I am like...really, really, really sick right now. And it's keeping me from writing because the medicine I'm taking makes me all loopy, and weird and well...look at this note, right? Just look at it. I'm useless. 
> 
> I just got distracted for nearly five minutes by wondering if the thing on my wall was a nail or a spider. It was a nail, but that pretty much sums up my attention span at the moment. Right. So I've written half the next chapter, and tomorrow I will try to write more, and then on Wednesday I will look at it and make sure it is not all nonsense. It it's not, I'll post. Sorry about the delay. :(
> 
> In other news, I watched the ice bucket challenge thing today about fifty times. For science. Mmm.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint gets some dragon time, Darcy has a surprise for Loki, and someone should never have left his throne room unoccupied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I say anything else, I should tell you all that I'm completely sick and vile. That being said, if there are errors in this chapter, I blame the Sudafed, lack of sleep, and general death-like malaise I am dealing with. 
> 
> Hopefully, I won't be as awful tomorrow and we can find out what happened in the throne room. ;)
> 
> Now, on to serious business. Who here watched the ice-bucket challenge thing? Yep. Me too. I would say more about it, but it broke me. I can't even.
> 
> *******************************************************************

Darcy could hear the quiet footsteps of Loki’s double following behind her until she reached the large, grassy enclosure where Ladon was currently being housed. Zeus was standing near a low stone wall, watching Clint as he scratched the dragon behind his scaly forehead ridges.

“Who’s a good Smaugy, hm? You are. _You_ are a good Smaugy,” the archer said enthusiastically, and Ladon’s heavy tail thumped loudly on the packed dirt beneath him.

“Your friend is quite taken with my pet,” Zeus said in amusement. “He has been keeping him entertained for the past hour.”

Darcy shook her head, smiling at Barton’s affectionate display. “Who knew he was such a Tolkien geek, right? I would have pegged him for more of a dystopian zombie world/sci-fi fan myself, but he’s totally into old school fantasy stuff. Loki keeps wanting to tell him Narnia is real just to see his reaction, but I won’t let him. Clint would probably cry when he found out Loki was lying.”

Zeus chuckled and pitched an apple up into the air towards the dragon. Ladon hit it with a blast of flame, and then caught the roasted apple his mouth before swallowing it whole. 

“Should I greet your friend as well?” Zeus asked, eyeing the empty space behind her speculatively.

“How did you know?” Darcy asked.

“My dear, that young man would not have left you alone here had you been protected by the entire Olympian army. He would tear apart heaven and earth to keep you safe, and if I am not mistaken, the feeling is quite mutual. Which is why my daughter Athena has been assigned as his personal bodyguard on this little expedition today.”

“Is there anything you don’t know about?”

“Omniscient,” he replied tapping his temple. “For instance, your betrothed is having it out with that old fool as we speak.”

“Really?” Darcy bit her lip apprehensively. “How’s it going?”

“There has been no bloodshed, if that is what you are worried about,” Zeus replied. 

“So far so good then.” She hopped up on the stone wall and leaned back on her hands.

“They have much unresolved anger between them. Odin would do well to let his son say his peace, and so far it appears that he has. Which is more than I expected that pompous ass would do,” Zeus confided.

Darcy grinned at him. “Even if I had another grandfather, you would totally be my favorite, Z,” she said. “Hand me one of those apples.”

He tossed her one and she took a bite of it before lobbing it to Ladon. 

“So,” Darcy said around a mouthful of apple, “what’s new with you? Seduce any maidens lately?”

Zeus laughed. “No. Although there is a very buxom serving maid who has been flirting with me during meals.”

“Hera would totally go Lorena Bobbitt on you if she found out. She’s scary. Like, bunny boiler scary. How did you end up with her, anyway?” Darcy inquired curiously.

“I disguised myself as a cuckoo and seduced her.”

Darcy stared at him. “Nevermind. I don’t want to know.”

He just laughed again and threw his last apple to the dragon. They spent the next few minutes in silence. She was wondering what Loki was saying to Odin, and Zeus appeared to be reminiscing about being a cuckoo. Not that Darcy wanted to think about that too much. Or at all, really. Because...ew.

A bird was better than a bull though. Just the idea of a bull… She really needed to stop thinking about this immediately. She also needed to stop googling the Greek myths in her spare time, because she kept learning more things about the people she was related to that were completely freaky. Some of it made the stuff Snorri Sturluson had written about Loki look like a Disney movie.

For instance, Athena had been born out of Zeus’ head. Darcy chanced a quick glance at the top of his head and suppressed a shudder. Having a baby the regular way probably wasn’t much fun. Having _two_ the regular way would probably be less fun, but she’d take that over shoving a fully grown woman out of her skull any day 

Now she was thinking of the babies, which of course made her think of the their father, and what he was doing, and if the conversation with Odin was over. She didn’t think it would take very long unless the Allfather insisted on having it all out. Loki was still too angry for that. As nice as it would be to believe one little chat would fix everything, Darcy was realistic about it. There was a long way to go. She wasn’t sure either one of them would bend far enough to get there.

Which reminded her. There was something she wanted to see. Darcy said her goodbyes to Zeus and quietly made her way into the bowels of the palace. It was about a fifteen minute walk before she came to the dungeons. At first it seemed like the guard wasn’t going to let her through, but she managed to convince him.

A minute later she was standing in front of the cell Loki had been imprisoned in. The interior was spare, but neat and tidy, with some comfortable Asgardian furniture, a carefully made up cot lining one wall, and a stack of books in the corner. She could feel his magical imprint all over it. It was still cloaking something, even after all this time.

“You may not want to see this, Darcy. It was a dark time for me.” The double slowly assumed shape next to her, and she took his hand. 

“Show me,” she requested. “I need to know what it was like.”

The double nodded and brought their joined hands to the translucent wall. Just before her skin met the energy field, he combined their magic and sent a pulse over the room. For a brief moment she could see the truth. Scattered bits of broken furniture and pottery littered the floor. The bed was completely overturned, and bloody footprints were everywhere as if someone had spent hours pacing in anguish. Their color was dried to a deep brownish-plum, showing how long they had been there.

“Odin didn’t have the cell cleaned out? Why would he leave it like this?” She gazed in shock at the destroyed cell. 

The double’s eyes traveled over the ruined furniture. “He is unable to change it. I set wards in the room before I left.”

Darcy tugged their hands away, allowing the illusion to form over the room once more. “You wanted to remind him?”

“And myself.”

“Can you feel this where you are right now?" she asked, wrapping her arms around the double's waist and pulling him close. 

He bent his head and pressed his lips against her hair. “Yes.”

“Good,” Darcy said with satisfaction. "How soon will you be back? There’s something I want to show you. Jane told me about it earlier, and I’m waiting for you so we can do it together.”

“Not long. I should be able to meet you in the bailey in about twenty minutes.”

“Well then, I’m on my way.” She practically skipped back up the stairs, and there were several times when she could hear the double chuckling behind her. “Whatever, you know you’re just as excited to see me.”

“You are going to be late,” he said. “I can already see the palace.”

“You are underestimating my resourcefulness. And we both know what a mistake that is,” she replied, and ducked into a mostly unused corridor which wound down behind the kitchens and popped out just below the bailey in a herb garden.

“How did you know that was there?” he asked in amazement. 

She grinned. “Because, I’m a pregnant lady, and the two things a pregnant lady figures out immediately are how to get to the kitchen and bathroom. Although not necessarily in that order.”

There was no answer, and Darcy realized that he had recalled the double. A sure sign that he was close. Seconds later she heard hoof-beats rapidly approaching and then Loki appeared at the far side of the bailey. Loki tossed his reins to a waiting groom and slid off his horse, striding towards her. When he was close enough, he lifted her straight off the ground into his arms and kissed her.

He coaxed her legs around his hips, and she wound her arms around his neck, and there might have been some highly inappropriate grinding on both sides. Plus Loki was _growling_ which, hooray! They were probably scandalizing half the groundskeepers and stable hands but Darcy really didn’t care. He was back, and safe, and so far he wasn’t acting like it had all been a failure.

“How did it go?” she finally asked once he’d let her come up for air.

Loki furrowed his brow slightly. “We have a truce of sorts.”

She disentangled from where she was wrapped around him and he set her on the ground. “Explain.”

“He wishes to attend our wedding, and come to Olympus for the birth of our children. I am to be restored as a Prince of Asgard. Which, incidentally, will make you a princess. Princess Darcy.”

“It sounds ridiculous,” she pointed out. “No princesses are named Darcy. Not that I won’t love having the title, because you know I will. Oooh, do I get a crown?”

“Do you want a crown?”

Darcy looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. “You’re kidding, right? Do _you_ have a crown? Oh my God, I bet you do! How come I’ve never seen it?” Then her whole face lit up. “We could totally have crown sex. CROWN SEX! Like helmet sex, only we won’t put holes in the walls! Is it in your room? Let’s go find it.”

She began pulling him into the palace, and he followed with a look of extreme amusement on his face. “Darcy, where were you planning on having this crown sex?”

“The coliseum maybe? No. Wait. Odin is still out hunting fluffy animals, right? Which means his throne is totally unoccupied.”

Now Loki looked highly intrigued. “We might get executed.”

“Yeah, but it would be so totally worth it. Besides, just make us invisible,” she suggested.

“I cannot. The throne room is warded against that type of magic.”

Darcy thought for a moment. “How many guards?”

“Since it is, as you pointed out, unoccupied, there would only be two,” he answered. 

“We could totally take them. Let’s do this.”

“I thought you had something to show me?” he asked, chuckling at her enthusiasm.

Darcy was torn between what she wanted to show him, and the idea of doing naughty things in the throne room. In the end, the thing she wanted to show him won out. 

“Just so you know, we are totally going to get your crown after this.”

She led the way to Eir’s infirmary, and Loki followed. When they got there, Eir smiled serenely.

“I have been expecting you,” she said. 

“Sorry if we made you wait,” Darcy replied. “I wasn’t really sure when the whole hunting thing would be over.”

Eir shook her head. “Not at all. Please.” She patted one of the long, low tables and Darcy slid up on top of it. “Now, just try to remain still and we shall see what we can see.”

She pulled up a glowing outline of Darcy’s body a foot or so above her in the air, and began using a small round disk-like object to manipulate the image. “Here,” she said, “watch this spot.” Her hand made a circular movement down low on the outline’s abdomen.

Two tiny, curled up shapes appeared. One was just a bit larger, with a warm golden glow for a heat signature. The other was cool blue tones. As Loki and Darcy watched, two small heartbeats could be seen. The babies were somewhat fuzzy, with the energy sort of fizzing around as Eir adjusted the disk, but Darcy thought they were absolutely beautiful.

“Let me see if I am able to increase the magnification,” Eir was saying, and she did a few complicated things with her fingers that caused the view of the babies to zoom in. “There. See? Those are their eyes, and just here are the arms and the little legs drawn up over their bellies.”

“May I?” Loki asked, reaching towards the images with a look of awe on his face.

“Of course,” Eir replied.

He reached into the energy field and it dissipated like swirling golden sparks before coalescing back into the image of their children. When it was completely reformed it looked like Loki was cradling their little daughter in his hand.

“Look at you, daddy,” Darcy said.

“Look at _her_ ,” he replied, completely taken with the small form cupped in his palm.

The Loki carefully moved his hand so it looked like he stroked a finger over the boy twin. The shape wavered and reformed instantly. 

“Have you considered maintaining your true form for the birth?” Eir inquired as Loki withdrew his arm from the energy field. 

“Why?” Darcy asked looking from the healer to Loki.

“I believe she is referring to my instinctive magic,” he answered. “If our son has the same type, he may alter his appearance as I did when Odin first held me.”

“And if you were in your Jötunn form he wouldn’t?”

“There would be less of a chance of it.”

“Then that’s what you should do,” Darcy said firmly. “I don’t want him to ever think he needs to hide what he is.”

Eir began to power down the energy field, and Darcy sat up on the table. 

“You would want a Frost Giant in your delivery room?” Loki asked her teasingly, eyebrow cocked.

Darcy hopped off the table, and then leaned up so she could whisper in his ear. “I want a Frost Giant _all_ the time. And for the record, I’ve been wet for you since you got off that horse, Loki, Prince of Asgard.”

She watched, totally smug, as his pupils dilated wildly. 

“You are playing with fire,” he said to her in a low tone, nodding goodbye to Eir, and steering Darcy out of the room. 

“I’d rather play with ice,” she murmured back. “And I seem recall you saying something about _both_ earlier. Was that all talk, or are you going to do something about it?”

“ _We_ are going to to the castle treasury to get my crown, and then I am taking a certain little goddess to the throne room, where I am going to teach her a very valuable lesson about accusing me of being ‘all talk’,” he promised.

Her knees almost went out from under her. “Will this invalidate your truce?”

He grinned. “Only if we get caught. We will have to be very, very quiet.”

“God,” she said.

“Yes.” he replied.

“If we pull this off, we should get medals.”

“Darcy, if we pull this off, I will get you whatever you want.”

She paused and then gave him a positively wicked smile.

"Come on, Frosty, let's go get your crown."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me, or does Hiddles totally look like Flynn Rider here? 
> 
>  
> 
> This is what happens when my daughter is watching Tangled while I'm looking for Hiddle-gifs and taking copious amounts of cold medicine.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy finds a new use for an old throne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount that this is NSFW is epic. You have been warned. (like, seriously you guys, the whole chapter is smut)
> 
> Oh, and here is the crown: 
> 
> Starlan found it for us, isn't she awesome? :D
> 
> *********************************************************************

When Darcy suggested the using Odin’s throne for naughty things she somehow assumed Loki would be the one sitting on it. Mostly because, well...he was Loki. She absolutely adored him, but he total megalomaniac tendencies. In fact, she kinda loved that about him. Hence, given half the chance to ahem, _rule_ on the throne of Asgard, she figured he’d be all over it.

Boy was she wrong.

It actually took three Lokis to pull off the coup on Odin's Tacky Chair of Golden Ostentation. One invisible double outside the doors to the throne room to keep an eye on the guards, one visible double leaning over the right arm of the throne to keep her mouth occupied, and the real Loki. He was kneeling at Darcy's feet, her ankle in his hand, trailing his lips up her calf.

They had completely gotten his crown from the treasury, and Jesus Christ, it might even be hotter than the helmet. She looked down at him again, all princely and on his knees in front of her, and nearly melted. 

Loki lifted one of her legs up onto the left arm of the throne, holding the other one steady with his hand as he worked his way up her thigh with his mouth. She was trying desperately to remain quiet. Except he was already teasing her with his fingers, and the double was matching the slow strokes with the movement of his tongue in her mouth. Which didn't really help the not making noise situation.

They were so going to get caught. They were so going to get caught...they were so going to… She gasped loudly as he gave a fleeting lick over her clit on his way to her other thigh.

The double slipped his hand inside the bodice of her gown, and palmed her breast. He rolled her nipple between his fingers, and then switched to the other side.

Meanwhile Loki seemed intent on cataloging every curve and dip of her lower body. He’d just moved from her thigh to the small bump below her belly button, each kiss and nip of his teeth making her writhe with need.

Fistfuls of the double’s shirt were clenched in Darcy’s hands while she just tried to hang on, not cry out, not give them all away. She broke away from the double just long enough to see Loki gazing up at her, the green of his irises almost swallowed up in black. As she watched, he bent his head and did something positively wicked with his tongue that had her arching back against the carved gold surface of the throne. 

“Come back to me, minn sváss,” the double murmured, tipping her chin towards him with two fingers. He licked her bottom lip and then sucked on it, before covering her mouth with his own again.

Loki was no longer teasing. He was using one hand to hold her open to him, as his tongue stroked firmly over her clit. It wasn’t long before she was making little half-choked moans, hips rocking helplessly.

The double slid his hand down her body until he was touching her slick folds as well. She could feel Loki’s tongue tracing her flesh around the double’s fingertips. Her whole body went taut in response, orgasm coming on so quickly that it took her completely by surprise. When he heard her sharp intake of breath, the double pressed his lips back to hers, taking her cries of pleasure into his own mouth and muffling them. 

She was just beginning to come back down when Loki abruptly stood, scooped her up in his arms, and teleported straight to his bedroom.

“What?” Darcy asked, as he dropped her with a bounce on his bed. “Were the guards coming?”

“Listen,” Loki replied.

There was loud trumpeting and then the sounds of hooves could be heard outside his window. 

“Oh my God," she giggled. "How close were we to getting caught by Odin?”

A mischievous smile spread over his face. “Very.”

“Look at you, troublemaker. You totally loved it." She flopped back on the pillows and smiled. "Crown sex was the most fun ever.”

“Was?” he asked, prowling up the bed and on top of her. “I was not aware that we were done.”

She gulped. “Um, did I say we were? Because I’m positive I didn’t mean that.”

“Are you?” Loki had the expression on his face that usually meant in about three seconds her panties were going to end up in another dimension.

Except she wasn’t wearing any. Convenient.

His voice broke into her thoughts regarding her lack of undergarments. “Give me your hand.”

“Um, what?” Darcy was genuinely confused. He’d said something. She was sure of it. It was just that she was really busy right now being epically, and rather incoherently, turned on. 

“Your _hand_ , Darcy,” he repeated and she obediently put it in his.

He placed it flat on his chest and slowly slid it down the length of his torso, and under the front of his leather tunic, so it was cupping his straining length through his pants. By the time she could feel him under her palm, Darcy’s lungs were scrabbling for air.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Loki," she stuttered, eyes huge.

"Yes. Quite." He leaned down and began to kiss his way over her jaw. 

"So...um... Do have like a plan to deal with that, because I have a few ideas if you don't."

Loki gave her the most sinful smile she'd ever seen. “In just a moment I am going to soundproof this room,” he said, voice all sex and gravel. “Then I am going to rip this dress off of you. And once I have, I am going to do things to you that ensure anytime you see this crown in the future, Darcy Lewis, you are going to get wet. Is that acceptable?”

She was actually _shaking_ with lust. “Yep.”

“Good,” he replied, and then leaned down to say softly in her ear, “Brace yourself, minn sváss, because I have been desperate to be inside you for hours, and I find that I am completely out of patience.”

There was really nothing to say to that, right? At least Darcy couldn’t think of anything, and anyway, Loki was making good on the promise to rip her dress off. So it wasn’t like he expected a reply.

Once the sad, shredded remnants that had been her dress had fluttered to his floor, she could see Loki glancing around the room speculatively. Finally it seemed he’d come to a decision, and wrapped a long arm around her waist, lifting her up and spinning her around. He set her down in a kneeling position so she was facing the headboard, and then lifted each of her hands so they were resting on top of it.

“You,” he said, lips tracing a path down her spine, “are going to want to hold on. Because I...” Lips moving back up her spine. “...am not going to be gentle.”

Darcy immediately adjusted her grip, heart pounding. He didn’t even bother to magic his clothes away. One of this hands joined hers on the headboard, and she could hear him undoing his laces and pushing his tunic out of the way with the other. 

His warm breath ghosted over her shoulder and she shivered. She was aching for him, whole body wound tight. Then she could feel the swollen head of his cock pressed against her entrance.

“Please…” she begged.

Loki deliberately set his other hand next to hers on the headboard. “Arch your back, Darcy.”

She did and he canted his hips so he slid just barely inside her. Then he pulled back and pushed forward again, still not allowing himself to go more than an inch or so inside.

Darcy’s nails were digging into the wood of the headboard, and she moved her pinky over and curled it around his index finger. That seemed to set something loose inside him. His next thrust was forceful and deep, and soon the entire bed was shuddering with the pounding rhythm of his body against hers. 

Her legs were turning to jello, and she had just vaguely wondered if she’d be able to walk later, when he took one of her hands in his and guided it down between her legs. 

“Loki,” she whimpered.

“I know, minn sváss,” he said with a breathless chuckle. “I want it as badly as you do.”

He began to rub their joined fingers against her clit in small, tight circles. Each tiny circuit causing the tension inside her to skyrocket. Loki pushed the palms of their hands flat on her pelvis, tilting her further back towards him and on his very next thrust her body went wild. 

Darcy bucked up hard into their fingers, nearly unable to keep her grip on the headboard as her climax swept through her. 

“Fuck… _Darcy_ ,” he groaned, and she could hear the carved wood cracking under his hand.

Those were the last English words Loki said for nearly a minute. There was plenty of space-viking though. Really filthy space-viking. Her favorite kind. 

Once he had stilled, she looked over her shoulder, grinned at him, and said, “I’ve totally ruined you for Asgardian chicks, haven’t I?”

He stared at her for just a second, and then collapsed over her back in laughter. “Yes. I suppose you are stuck with me.”

“Bummer,” she replied, somehow managing to keep a straight face.

“Mmm,” Loki agreed. “We will just have to make the best of it. Would it be too forward to ask you to marry me?”

“I don’t know,” she said, frowning slightly. “You seem like a really nice guy and all, but there’s this blue dude I’m totally into.”

He tugged her back into his arms and kissed her neck where it met her shoulder. “I love you.”

She sighed contentedly and snuggled against his chest. “Loki? Can we go home? The best part of Asgard is your bedroom, and I think we just broke the bed.”

“We leave tomorrow evening. I thought perhaps you might like to see Vanaheim in the morning. It is where my mother grew up.”

“Oh yeah,” she said slyly. “Let’s totally do that. Maybe we could visit Nelhalla.”

He froze.

“I heard they’ve got this very unusual statue,” she continued, lips starting to twitch. “I was hoping you could show it to me.”

“On second thought, Álfheim is lovely this time of year,” he said innocently.

“Oh no, let’s go see where your mother grew up.” She twisted in his arms so she could see his face.

His eyes were wary. “How much trouble am I in?”

She grinned at him. “All of it. I’ll give you a ten second head start to teleport to safety though.”

Loki looked appraisingly at her naked form and then shook his head. “I think I will stay and take my punishment.”

“You sure? I plan on making your work for it.” Darcy reached under her pillow and held up her hand, a set of Asgardian shackles dangling from her fingers.

He glanced from the shackles to her face and licked his lips. “Unequivocally.”

“Will they miss us at dinner?”

“Do you truly care?”

“Nope.”

“Well then, little goddess, stop worrying about it and come make me penitent.” 

And she totally did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I feel like I need to share this with all of you...because...reasons....
> 
>  


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daily (and nightly) nonsense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to write the wedding today and this happened.
> 
> It was supposed to be safe for work. Um. *glances at chapter and looks up sheepishly* It's not. But sometime in the next three days will be the wedding, yay!!!!
> 
> Also, omg people, this is chapter 40! (holy cats!!!!)
> 
> ***************************************************

Weddings on Mount Olympus were a really big deal. Darcy was almost losing her mind over the planning for the three day affair, with all its involved, traditional requirements. Plus, she was a very unhappy camper over her current living arrangements. She rolled over in her Loki-less bed at her father’s house, and blew her bangs off her forehead in annoyance. 

It made no sense that Ares was forcing this stupid pretense of propriety on her. Everyone already knew she and Loki had been going at it like rabbits for months, and she had the double pregnancy to prove it. Apparently though, it was super-important to him that his little girl made this symbolic journey from her father's house to the home of her husband, and he wasn’t budging on it. 

Plus he had sort of threatened Loki’s life when they told him she was pregnant. Ares was scary. And fast. Darcy had never seen anyone get the best of Loki before, and she had to hold a spear on her own father’s throat just to take back control of the conversation. But then again, when someone has the guy you love on the floor with a sword pressed against his chest you do what you have to do.

So they agreed that she would move into Ares’ villa until the wedding, and he let Loki up off the floor. On the bright side, Loki found watching his future wife coming to his defense with a deadly weapon completely arousing, and the minute he got her home lots of awesome sexytimes happened. They didn’t even make it upstairs. Darcy was totally saving those memories up for right after the babies were born, because according to her midwife, she was going to have six weeks of downtime. Six. Weeks. She wondered if by the end of it, whether she and Loki might both be insane enough to consider a second attempt at world domination.

Ugh, it was so hot in her room. Her body had upped its temperature to compensate for her chilly little Jötunn tadpole. As a result, Darcy was too hot most of the time lately. She couldn’t ask Loki to do a spell to fix it, because it was a physiological necessity. The warmth kept her and said tadpole’s sister safe against his constant blizzard-like conditions. It was all very complicated, and Darcy didn’t fully grasp how it worked, but it _did_ work, and that was the important part.

At least she was a goddess with a womb of steel. Humans didn’t do very well with Frost Giant pregnancies. The babies were strong, and frigid, and crazy big. A human woman had very little chance of surviving that kind of pregnancy.

The size of the baby had been a bit of a concern even for them at first. Fortunately, their frosty tadpole was growing at the same rate as a regular Olympian or Asgardian baby. According to Loki, he was very small for a Jötunn too, which was probably why Laufey had left him abandoned in the first place. The idea of Loki being small always made her giggle. Seriously, there was nothing _small_ about her fiancé. 

Where was her baby-daddy, anyway? He usually teleported into her room the second he saw the lights go out in the house. She’d barely seen him all day because she was in this long, tedious meeting over seating arrangements, while he was out having a Manly Day of All the Testosterone with Thor and Tony, and the rest of his guy friends. It was in lieu of a bachelor party, because Loki had flat out refused to have one, much to Tony's chagrin. She had no idea what they were actually doing, but figured that it probably involved war-games, or blowing stuff up, or something else that included chest-bumping.

Actually he was really late. She slid out of bed and went to window, trying to see if there were any lights on over at their place. Nothing. Darcy frowned. She was just turning back to the bed when a pair of arms curved around her waist, hands meeting over her baby bump.

“I was starting to worry,” she said, relaxing into his embrace.

Loki nuzzled his face against her hair. “I’m sorry, minn svass. It went later than I thought it would.”

He sounded tired and pained. Why did he sound tired and pained? Darcy wriggled around in his arms so she could look up at him and gasped. “Loki! Oh my God! What happened to your face?!”

“I believe this is the point where I say, ‘You should see the other guy.' Is it not?” he said with a rather sheepish grin.

“Loki.” Her lips pressed together in concern as she reached up to touch the bruising surrounding a scary-looking cut on his cheekbone. “Why is your mouth puffy? Do you have a split lip too? What the hell were guys _doing _?"__

“Tony thought we would enjoy shooting small balls of paint at each other with an automatic weapon." He grinned. "I shot Nicholas in the head."

When she didn't respond, he tried again. "Truly, Darcy, it looks much worse than it is. By morning, it will be as if it never happened.”

She picked up one of his hands and examined the healing cuts on his knuckles. The other one was just as bad. Then she noticed how stiffly he was holding himself and her eyes narrowed.

“Take your shirt off,” Darcy demanded.

“Is that really…”

“Shirt off. Now.”

He hesitated. “I’d really rather not.”

“Why?” she asked angrily. “Because you don’t want to show me whatever it is that you’re hiding from me?”

Loki sighed again and magicked his shirt away. There was a white bandage wrapped tightly around his chest. She waved at him to get on with it, and he carefully unwound the bandage, wincing every so often. When it was finally off, she could see the ugly, mottled bruising covering his ribs on the right side.

“Are your ribs broken???” she asked, trying to keep the shock out of her voice.

“Just three,” he answered. “They should also be fine by morning.”

Darcy reached out and gingerly touched the discolored skin. “You got this playing _paintball_?”

“No. Thor struck me with Mjölnir.”

Her jaw dropped.

“It was accidental,” Loki quickly assured her. “He had no intention of striking me. Bruce had a small incident after a paintball hit him. It was rapidly escalating, and there were civilians nearby. So I stepped in to distract him, which was effective, but perhaps not the wisest decision. Thor had apparently already thrown Mjölnir in an effort to stop him, and I teleported to the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Just let me understand here." Darcy said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Bruce's big bad alter-ego took a swing at you, Thor clobbered you with Mew-Mew, and this was all supposed to be fun?”

“More or less,” Loki replied.

“Did you forget about the last time you tangled with Banner?" She threw her hands up in the air. "He put you through a _floor_ , Loki.”

“As I said, a distraction was needed, and I was able to reach him first. You know that I heal quickly. By tomorrow morning all will be well. There has been no permanent harm done, minn sváss, and it would have been so much worse had he turned his aggression on one of the mortals also on the course. We couldn't let that happen.”

Darcy looked away, biting her lip as her eyes started to prickle with tears. “Yeah I know. I just don’t like seeing you hurt.”

“What can I do to fix this?” he said, cupping her face in his hands in consternation. 

She pushed his hands away, and scrubbed at her eyes. "I don't know, maybe come home to me in one piece after a few hours out with the guys?" she snapped.

"I am in one piece," Loki responded mildly. "Granted, it is a slightly battered piece, but I am here, with you, safe."

Breaking away from his gaze, Darcy folded her arms over her chest and huffed in irritation. Loki stepped in front of her and took her hand, resting it over his heart so she could feel the steady beating.

"Look at me, Darcy." He waited until her eyes swiveled back up to his face. "You have seen me with worse after a Shield mission. In fact, you have _dressed_ worse and laughed about it. So tell me, why has this affected you so?"

He was right. She'd bandaged far nastier injuries for him, and there was that one time where she had to help Thor to reset Loki's dislocated shoulder that still made her slightly nauseous when she thought of it. This wasn't like her. Stupid baby hormones. 

“You're right. I _know_ you're right, but there's nothing I can do about it. It’s not me, it’s the pregnancy talking. I mean, you know I can barely see a puppy on TV without completely falling apart lately, and then you show up here all beat up and… Stop looking at me like I'm being completely irrational. I'm not irrational. I'm totally, totally rational, and tough, and not some girly, emotional....” Darcy could see him fighting back a smile. “Shut up.”

“I do not recall saying anything,” he replied, still trying not to smile.

“Yeah, but you are totally thinking it.”

They stood there looking at each other for moment, and then both began to laugh.

“I’m sorry. I’m not really mad,” she said. "It's just been a really long day. I _hate_ doing 300 seating arrangements. And then I find out you played hero and offered yourself up as a punching bag for Banner. It's a lot for a girl to deal with."

Loki tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear. “I know.”

“I still think what you did was stupid. Even if it was incredibly brave and heroic, and I'm totally proud of your for protecting a bunch of innocent people.”

“I know.” 

“You actually look kind of sexy all roughed up from being one of the good guys,” she said, gently running her thumb over the cut on his lip.

He gave her a wink and a lopsided smile. “I know.” 

She snorted. “God, you’re an ass.”

Loki started to open his mouth, eyes glinting with humor, and she put her finger over his lips.

“Don’t say it. We both know it. You don’t need to confirm it.” Her eyes roved over his injuries again and she sighed. "I wish I could do something to make it heal faster."

He chuckled and nipped the tip of her finger. “Is there not a charming Midgardian custom of kissing a thing to make it better?”

Sneaky. He was well aware that the fastest way to be forgiven was to appeal to her lust for him.

"I remember a time when you used to sneer at Midgardian customs," Darcy said.

"Yes," Loki replied, "but that was before I fell in love with one, and realized I had been a complete idiot."

Her heart lurched. That silvery-tongued bastard. He was totally getting kissed now. Not that she minded. Darcy took his face in her hands and stood up on tiptoe so she could kiss the cut on his his cheek. Then she feathered another one over the hurt place on his mouth.

“I can get to your chest better if you lie down,” she said, and he complied.

Darcy carefully climbed onto the bed next him, and leaned down so she could gently press her lips to the bruising on his chest. Working from the top, she made sure to cover every inch of discoloration. Finally she took each one of his hands in hers and kissed his injured knuckles one by one. By the time she finished, his green eyes were dark with desire.

“Broken ribs, Loki,” she reminded him.

He shifted on the bed in frustration and grumbled, “I am going to drop a piano on Thor the next time I see him.”

“You know,” Darcy said, "Just because you're out of commission, it doesn't mean I am.”

Loki’s head lifted off the pillow slightly. “What is your devious mind up to, Darcy?”

She moved so she was kneeling between his legs, and began to unlace his pants. “Instead of explaining, why don't I just give you a practical demonstration?”

“Valhalla hjálpa mér, þessi kona verður dauði af mér,” he said under his breath as she took him in her hand.

Darcy grinned at him. “Whatever. You love it. Besides, I wasn't the one throwing magical hammers at you today, so it's hardly fair to say I'm the one who's going to be the death of you.”

His eyes widened. "You understood that?"

"I may not speak all-tongue, but I _do_ have Google translate, and you say that all the time. Now,” she said, placing her palm down flat on the uninjured side of his chest, “try to hold still, and we’ll see how well this kissing it better thing really works.”

He muttered something else that she couldn’t make out, but Darcy could see him watching her intently as she swept her hair out of the way and lowered her mouth onto him.

She kept her pace slow, alternating between licking and teasing the head of his cock, and closing her lips around him so she could go down with long, sensual strokes. One of her hands was wrapped around the base of erection, and the other one remained on his chest, limiting his movements. 

Soon the room was filled with the sound of Loki’s ragged breathing, and his hips were making shallow thrusting motions.

Darcy glanced up at him and caught his eyes on her. “You good?” She flattened her tongue and ran it over the slit at the tip.

His eyelashes fluttered shut for a second and opened. “Yes.” The word was tight and clipped, and the husky, almost breathless sound of his voice sent a bolt of heat through her.

Loki moved the hand on his right side over so it was covering hers, and she lifted her fingers to thread them through his.

“Ready for the big finish?” she asked, and he gave a short, gasping laugh and nodded. “Good, because I’m about to do that thing you like. And I plan on doing it until I completely wreck you.”

Darcy did the thing.

“ _Ríða_ ,” he groaned, and dropped his head back on the pillow.

She did the thing again and the grip Loki had on her hand increased to just shy of painful. The third time she did the thing with a swirl at the end. His neck arched up as he hauled in a breath and tensed.

The fourth time she did the thing with a swirl and a tiny bit of teeth, and it was all over. He came with a sharp, staccato gasp, his hand wrapped tightly around hers. Darcy let his hips dictate the movement, and just held him and swallowed until he was finished. Then she gave him one final, long lick, and sat up with a grin.

“How was the practical demonstration?” she asked, trying not to sound too smug.

Loki licked his lips. “Enlightening.”

“And your ribs?”

“Darcy, at this moment, they are the furthest thing from my mind,” he responded. 

She leaned down and kissed his stomach. “My work here is done.”

“I do not like it being one-sided. Lie down, minn sváss, I wish to return the favor.”

“Nope. Can’t let you do that. You might hurt your ribs.”

“Who said anything about my ribs?” he asked, flexing his long, talented fingers at her. 

“I love how you think.”

He pulled her down so her face was just above his, and looked her straight in the eye.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Ever find a gif so ridiculously appropriate that you can't even deal with how perfect it is?**  
> 


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Dionysus are not the droids Nick's looking for... -AKA- WEDDING ON MOUNT OLYMPUS!!!!!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys... Can I take a minute to talk about how much trouble this chapter gave me? I have five...FIVE...different abandoned weddings. No lie. Five whole versions that did not get posted before this one made the cut. There were tears over it, and I'm not a weepy kinda girl. 
> 
> I truly don't know what happened. For some reason I could not make the wedding in my head show up in this story until sometime this afternoon when it all sort of came together. I'm so, so sorry about the delay.
> 
> If you want to see pictures of what everyone wore, and what the party looked like in my head, I'll post them in the end notes. In case anyone is wondering, I found the vows on The Knot and then tweaked them. (And sadly, I can't find who drew the Loki art with the mask. If anyone figures it out, let me know.)
> 
> Alrighty people, here are your official invitations to the Odinson-Lewis Wedding of Awesome. Go. Have a good time. (stay away from the green punch, Dionysus and Tony were over there pouring something in it and giggling) :D
> 
> Also...it's not really safe for work. You've been warned.
> 
> ********************************************************************

“You sure you wanna do this, Pranks and Sass? Steve’s still single, and he’s a very pretty man.” Tony Stark nodded out the window towards where Captain America was strolling down the aisle to find his seat.

Darcy looked up at Tony and laughed. “Loki’s prettier.”

Tony pursed his lips. “Not prettier than me.”

“You’ve got Pepper.”

“Valid point.”

They continued to watch out the window as more guests arrived, dressed in various costumes and masquerade masks. 

“Is that Clint dressed as Legolas? In a _wig_?” She asked incredulously as the archer walked by hand in hand with Natasha who was dressed as Maleficent.

Stark leaned around her to see. “Yep. I wonder if Tasha has any idea that he technically got her to dress as a dragon.”

“She’ll kill him if she finds out.”

“Unless they’re into that. You never know,” Tony said with a shrug and Darcy giggled.

“What’s Pepper? I can’t see her,” Darcy asked.

Tony looked at her like she was crazy, and gestured towards his Han Solo costume with his blaster. “Are you seriously asking me that? She's my other half.”

“What, you talked her into coming as Chewbacca? That's commitment right there. Although she _is_ taller than you, so I guess I could see it.” 

“Ha. Ha. No, smartass. She’s Princess Leia.”

“Slave or buns?” 

“Buns,” he replied, looking slightly disgruntled. “I got her slave, but she wouldn’t wear it out of the house.”

Before Darcy could respond, Jane came bustling up with Psyche and Persephone right behind her. They were all wearing matching Rococo-style gowns in different colors with short skirts, and deconstructed net and satin roses sewn onto them. 

“Everyone is seated, and Loki has taken his place up front,” Psyche said.

Darcy leaned forward to peek out the window, and Jane darted in front of her.

“No,” her friend declared, pulling the curtains shut behind her. “Absolutely not. I didn’t spend all day keeping the two of you apart so he can see you now before you actually start walking down the aisle.”

It had been an insane three days. Ares had gotten his way, and that morning he’d walked her over to the home she shared with Loki and officially handed his daughter over to the God of Mischief and Lies. There had been less threatening of Loki’s life than Darcy had expected. Of course, Ares had no idea that her future husband had been sneaking into her room every night. Thank God for soundproofing spells.

Anyway, all the lengthy celebrations had culminated in this moment right here. Darcy was standing by her front door, with Tony and her bridesmaids, waiting to marry Loki. 

She couldn’t believe it. 

It was real though, and she bounced excitedly on her toes in her Vivienne Westwood gown. The lavender fabric of the full skirt shimmered and swung back and forth like a bell over her celadon green silk shoes. Her dress was Rococo-style as well, and she had a pair of delicate, gold tipped angel wings fanning out behind her shoulder blades. She reached up to make sure the simple golden circlet on her head was straight, and Jane batted her hands away.

“It’s fine. Stop messing with it. You look gorgeous, Darce.” 

“Yeah?” 

Jane tucked a stray lock of hair back up into Darcy’s loose updo. “Yes. You do. He’s going to be blown away. Just wait.”

“I believe that is our cue,” Persephone pointed out as the Trumpet Voluntary began to play.

Psyche started to giggle. “I cannot believe we are doing this. Hera is going to be horrified.”

“She’ll have to get over it,” Darcy replied. “It’s my party and I’ll rock if I want to.”

“Are we ready to get this show on the road?” Tony asked, offering Darcy his arm. “I didn’t dress up like Han Solo, and come all the way to Mount Olympus just to hang out in your foyer. Not that it isn’t a lovely foyer.”

The girls lined up with Darcy at the back on Tony’s arm, and Persephone tapped lightly on the door. Dionysus flung it open, and they all started to walk. 

Darcy couldn’t see Loki yet, because of all the guests standing up and leaning around to get a better look at the bridal party. She waited until the bridesmaids were about halfway up the aisle and then turned to Tony.

“Can you see Apollo?” she whispered.

He reached up like he was talking into a earpiece. “I see the target, Mrs Moneypenny. Shall I give the signal?”

She tried really hard not to snort. Snorting would have been bad in a wedding gown. “Yeah, 007, give the signal.”

Tony gave the signal.

Trumpet Voluntary abruptly stopped. For about three seconds the guests looked utterly confused and then very loudly, from somewhere over behind Apollo, came the sounds of Everything Is Awesome.

She could actually hear Loki laughing over the music. 

“I still think we should have gone with You Shook Me All Night Long,” Tony said, bumping hips with her.

Darcy clapped her hands and did a little shimmy. “Whatever, you’re just mad that I used it for my wedding, and you can’t suggest it as the theme song for the Avengers Initiative to Nick.”

“I hate when you’re right, Pranks and Sass. Dip!” he exclaimed and expertly ducked her sideways. “There’s your boy.” He jerked his head towards the front and Darcy could see Loki. Finally.

Jane was right. He totally looked blown away. And completely amused. But mostly blown away.

 _Hey, babe!_ she mouthed, giving him a wave. He grinned at her, shaking his head.

Jane had the first five rows dancing at this point. Psyche and Persephone had split up and were working on getting the rest moving. By the midpoint of the song, pretty much everyone was getting down.

Even Odin seemed to be finding the humor in it. Hera clearly did not. Oh well. She was the only one. The most shocking part was that Athena had gotten Bruce to dance. Darcy wasn’t sure what blew her mind more. The fact that Bruce had moves, or that Athena was dancing. 

She turned her focus back on Loki and felt the biggest, most ridiculous smile spread across her face. He was so gorgeous in his formal armor and crown. 

Tony looked at her, and smirked. “Go get him, tiger.”

That was all the permission she needed. Darcy ran up the rest of the aisle, and just before she reached him, jumped into his arms. Loki lifted her up in the air and held her above him with her hands on his shoulders, and then brought her back down for a kiss.

“You do realize we are going about this completely backwards, minn sváss,” he murmured, slanting his mouth over hers.

“Do you care?” Darcy nipped his bottom lip.

The arms around her tightened. “Not remotely.”

All around them guests started whistling and making catcalls. Thor finally had to lean in and tap Loki’s shoulder.

“I believe it is time to start the ceremony, brother,” he said, smiling broadly at them.

They broke apart laughing, and Loki gently lowered her back down to the ground. 

People took their seats, and Eros stepped forward.

“Loki and Darcy asked me to officiate their wedding, and it’s my great honor to do so. I’m told they’ve written their own vows, so I’m going to shut up now and let them get on with it, because I’m sure that’s why you’re all here. Well, that and the party afterwards.”

Loud cheers erupted from Dionysus, Tony, and Clint. Pepper practically had to sit on Tony to get him back in his seat. 

She and Loki had spent a long time writing the vows. Mostly because they kept getting distracted by…other things. However, she was pretty damn proud of them. They really did have the best vows ever.

Darcy handed her bouquet to Jane, and then turned to face Loki and smiled. 

“Loki, I promise to love, cherish and be faithful to you.  
I will be your loyal partner in parenthood,  
Your greatest ally in conflict,  
Your companion in adventure,  
Your consolation in disappointment,  
Your champion in triumph,  
And your accomplice in mischief, especially in the bedroom where I am going to rock your world forever.  
This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things.”

Loki’s vows were exactly the same, except for the very end, where he said, “And your accomplice in mischief, especially in the bedroom, where I fully intend to make you scream my name tonight and all the nights hereafter.  
This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things.”

“May I have the rings, please?” Eros asked Thor, and God of Thunder stepped forward and set the rings in his hand. 

Eros handed the first ring to Loki, and he took Darcy’s hand, placing the ring on her finger. “Ek elska þik ey, Darcy.”

Darcy took the other ring, and slipped it onto his finger. “Ek elska þik ey, Loki.”

Then Eros pronounced them married and they got to her favorite part of the ceremony.

She reached up and grabbed the straps that held Loki’s cape in place, using them to pull his face down to hers. He slid his arms under her back and dipped her until she was almost parallel to the floor while everyone clapped and whistled again. Then he pulled her back up, and they stood, facing all their guests. 

Eros beamed around at everyone and said, “I now present to you the God and Goddess of Mischief, Lies, Pranks, and Sass!”

She took Loki’s arm, and they swept down the aisle to the Star Wars Theme.

He just gave her a look.

“What? It’s a good song. Just be glad I didn’t go with Thor’s suggestion. He wanted Flight of the Valkyries. Tony thought this was more appropriate.”

“I suppose I should be relieved it is not the Imperial March,” he said resignedly. 

Darcy flashed him a grin. “Don't worry, babe. I made him and Dionysus promise no supervillain music tonight.”

They’d finally made it past the rows of guests at this point and back to the house. Loki pulled their front door open, and tugged her inside, kicking it shut behind him. Then he spun her around and pinned her against it, lips trailing down her neck.

“You look so beautiful, minn sváss.”

“I can’t even handle how hot you are in the crown,” Darcy said, directing his mouth back to hers. “How much time do we have?”

“Not enough,” he groaned as she rolled her hips up against his.

She made a frustrated sound. “We’ll be really fast.”

Loki pulled away and rested his forehead on hers, both of them panting a little. “They will all be expecting us at the reception shortly. If not, I would have you up against this wall with your skirt thrown over your back right now.”

“That’s not exactly helping,” Darcy pointed out with another roll of her hips, and he growled. 

“Continue teasing me like that and you run the risk of me taking you on the head table during the reception. I assure you, Darcy, I am very close to having no qualms with that. How about you?”

“Maybe we’ll find a convenient pillar to duck behind or something.”

Loki laughed. “Come, little goddess,” he said, taking her hand. “Let’s go greet our guests.”

He plucked both their masks from where they were hanging near the door and helped Darcy tie hers on. It was delicate gold filigree with glittering crystals and white ribbons. His was also gold, and shaped just like his helmet with sides that came down to frame his cheekbones and two horns curling up over back.

Dionysus had offered up his temple for the reception, and it was completely decorated like a fancy French ballroom. Gilt furniture was lining the walls, and crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling. By the time Loki and Darcy arrived, all their guests were milling around the room, eating hors d'oeuvres, and drinking champagne. 

After all the wrangling over seating charts, Darcy had finally put her foot down and insisted the reception be informal. So aside from one long table reserved for the wedding party, all the other guests could choose their seats at one of the small, intimate tables around the room, or mingle. 

They made a slow circuit of the room, thanking everyone for coming, and making conversation. Jane saw to it that Darcy was eating, and Loki made sure she wasn’t getting too tired. 

Finally they’d spoken with every guest and Loki sprawled over his seat at their table, pulling her into his lap.  
  
“Have I told you yet how sexy you look?” she asked, running a finger along the edge of his mask. “It’s like you, but not you. Kind of like you’re a stranger.”

“Is it? Well then, let me see if I can remind you of who I am.” 

His hand slid down from where it was resting on hip until it covered her knee. The he began surreptitiously pulling her skirt up with slow, sure movements.

“Loki,” she warned, glancing around the room, “there are people everywhere.”

“Yes. There are.” His fingers were on her bare knee now and starting to move up the inside of her thigh. “Tell me to stop, Darcy,” Loki whispered, lips brushing the curve of her ear.

A shiver went through her at his words and she gripped his other hand in hers, but remained silent.

Fingertips skated higher, the metal vambrace on his forearm cool on her heated skin under her dress. “Part your legs,” he requested in a low voice.

Darcy let out a small, shuddering breath. “God, Loki, what if someone sees?”

“There is a table in front of us, and a wall at our back. I promise you, our guests will remain blissfully ignorant. Now part your legs, minn sváss,” he commanded. “I wish to pleasure my _wife_.”

That was pretty much the end of her arguments. She leaned back against his chest, hoping anyone watching them would just assume she was tired. He shifted his legs under hers, using one of his knees hooked under hers to hold her open to him as his fingers brushed over her at last. 

His movements were almost indolent. One long finger circling her entrance before sliding inside. She rocked her hips forward slightly, and he curled it up against her over and over in calm, unhurried motions. Her hips undulated again, and he used their joined hands to pin them back down.

She whimpered. “Fuck. I don't think I can hold still. Loki, we're totally going to get caught with your hand up my dress.”

“Look at me.”

Darcy lifted her head from his shoulder and met his eyes. His pupils were huge and dark, and the desire there made her choke back a gasp.

“We are not going to get caught. I have you, and I won’t let that happen.” He rubbed the pad of his thumb over her clit, and slid another finger inside her to join the first one. “Eyes on me, Darcy. I want to see it when you come undone.”

Her legs started to tremble. His wrist was the only part of his arm moving, and she could feel the broad bones of it touching either side of her thighs as his fingers continued caressing her slick folds.

The deliberate, measured touches were maddening. Her arousal just kept building, until she was breathless with it. There was no way they were going to hide this. Darcy could already feel the waves of her orgasm starting to hit her, and in a second she was going to be absolutely helpless to stop her reaction. 

He saw it in her eyes just as it began. Suddenly, from all over the room came the sound of spoons clinking against glasses. Their friends looked up, and began tapping their own champagne flutes, chanting to them to kiss.

Just as Darcy went over the edge, Loki leaned in and claimed her mouth, pulling his hand free from hers so he could cup her jaw. His fingers never stopped, and his lips covered hers, muffling her cries when she came apart in his arms.

Everyone cheered, completely oblivious to what was really going on. He coaxed her through it, fingers stroking more and more gently until finally going still. She relaxed, and Loki pulled away to press his lips tenderly to her forehead.

“Well?” he asked teasingly. “Have I ceased to be a stranger, or do you need more reminding of who I am?”

“You’re Loki,” she answered. “You’re dangerous, and you’re complicated, and you’re mischief incarnate.”

“Is that all?”

“No. You’re also amazing, and loving, and perfect, and _mine_.”

“Mmm,” he said. “I certainly am.”

“So, how bad do you want me right now?” Darcy grinned at him.

“See for yourself.” He wrapped his arms around her hips to pull her firmly against his lap and she could feel him pressing up into her through their layers of clothes. 

She bit her lip as a bolt of heat zipped through her. “I’m not sleeping tonight, am I?”

“Absolutely not.”

“There’s going to be a whole lot of you saying ‘mine’, isn’t there?”

He growled lightly and pulled her down tighter. “Yes.”

Darcy held her hand up and snapped her fingers. “Check please.”

Loki laughed. “We haven’t cut the cake.”

“Well that’s not my fault. You had your hand up my skirt. It made it kind of hard to focus,” she pointed out.

“It definitely made it _hard_ ,” he responded with a smirk, and she rolled her eyes.

“References to the monster in your pants will get you everywhere, babe. Except right now, because...cake.”

“Did you just choose dessert over me?”

“Are you cocking your eyebrow at me under that mask? I distinctly feel an eyebrow.” She tried to sneak a finger under it to check. “Anyway, yes, cake. And I’m not choosing it over you. You were the one who said we needed to cut it. You chose cake. I wanted sex.”

“I have changed my mind,” he asserted. “Let Anthony cut the cake. He craves the attention anyway. Perhaps he could feed it to Dionysus.”

Darcy glanced over where the two men were deep in conversation by the bar, furtively watching Director Fury. Dionysus was dressed as Luke Skywalker, complete with a lightsaber, and a Yoda doll under his arm. “I’m not sure they’re drunk enough yet. Tony isn't pretending to shoot Nick with the blaster….and...nevermind. Now he is.”

Loki followed her line of sight and smiled in a semi-scary way. 

She smacked his arm. “You’re totally thinking of making that blaster functional, aren't you? I can’t take you anywhere.”

“On the contrary, Darcy, you have always been able to lead me anywhere.” He picked up the hand that wore his ring, and kissed it. 

“Stop making me melt, and come deal with the cake. The sooner we get it out of the way, the sooner I can get you out of those pants.”

That got him moving, and a few minutes later they were both facing each other, each armed with a small piece of cake. He fed hers to her, and the she held up his, mischievous smile on her face.

“Darcy, do not even think of it,” he said as she started to giggle.

“Think of what?” his wife replied innocently. “I’m just holding this piece of cake for you. You know, so you can take a bite.”

He watched her warily as he leaned forward and opened his mouth. Just as he was about to eat it, she pulled it out of his reach.

“Oops, you missed,” she said, eyes sparkling with merriment. “Try again.”

“Darcy.”

“Seriously. I’ll totally behave this time.”

He made a second attempt, and she jerked it away at the last second. 

“Oh my God, that is so weird,” she said, looking at the bite of cake in mock confusion. “What is wrong with this cake? I think it’s broken.”

Loki fixed her in his gaze, and started to advance in a predatory manner.

“Um, what are you doing?” she asked, backing up around the table.

“Getting my cake,” he replied, continuing to stalk her.

She bumped into a chair and pushed it out of her way, still walking backwards. “And when you get it, then what?”

He grinned. “You are about to find out.”

“What?” Darcy tripped backwards over another chair, and he pounced.

She ended up supported by him, with his arm under her back, and the fingers of his free hand locked around her wrist. Loki gave her a look of pure smug triumph, and then dipped his head over her hand, drawing the piece of cake into his mouth and sucking her fingers on his way back up. 

He gave them a final lick, and leaned over her, running his tongue over his lips. “Delicious.”

The rest of the night was kind of a blur. There was dancing, and more cake, and Athena caught the bouquet. The parts Darcy really remembered best were the parts that came after once they’d walked back together to their own home under a star-filled sky.

Loki was as good as his word. Neither one of them got any sleep until the sun was rising over the Demeter’s olive grove. He said ‘mine’ more times than she could count, but she was saying it right back. So it was all good.

When they finally did go to sleep, it was with her head resting on his chest, and his arms holding her close. His crown was hanging over the bedpost along with her wings. The last thought Darcy had before she went to sleep was how very awesome her life really was. Oh, and that nobody knew it, but he’d totally taken _her_ last name. Loki Odinson-Lewis. How fucking hot was that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> **ALL! THE! WEDDING!!!!!!**  
> 


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Painting the nursery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by:  
>  and 
> 
> *************************************************

By the time Christmas rolled around, Darcy’s little bump was becoming a bit unwieldy. It wasn’t huge, but it was big enough that she could fold baby clothes on it, which is what she was currently doing. 

“Look at these,” she exclaimed, holding up a pair of newborn socks. “Look how tiny! I can’t believe how tiny they are.”

Loki turned from where he was painting the wall and smiled. “You have said that about every pair of socks.”

“Yeah, I know, but seriously, look how cute these things are.” Darcy put the socks on her fingers and made them walk up her round tummy. “Our babies are going to _wear_ these, Loki. On their little baby feet.”

He put the paintbrush down and walked to where she was standing by the tall dresser in the corner. Then he slid the socks off her fingers and held them in his palm for a moment before setting them in the open drawer. His arms wrapped around her waist, and he ground his knuckles into the small of her back while she stretched against him.

“Mmm, don’t stop. That feels so good,” she said, pressing her face into his chest as he rubbed her lower back.

“You should lie down. You have been on your feet for the past hour,” Loki suggested, pushing his thumbs down hard as he rubbed across her hips.

She made sound of protest. “I like watching you paint. You’re so good at this, Loki. How come you never told me how good you were at this?” Darcy gestured towards the vibrant, twisting olive trees he’d painted across the wall, and looked up at him so her chin was resting just below his clavicle.

“I am merely working from the print you found,” he replied. 

“Babe, you’ve re-created a Van Gogh on the nursery wall. Stop being so modest. That’s a big deal.” She snuggled closer in his arms. 

Seconds later there was a hard push from one side of her belly as their little boy made his presence known. 

Loki looked down in shock. “Did you feel that?”

“Well yeah, of course. I feel it from the inside. He’s really wiggly today, and… Oh my GOD! _You_ felt it?”

Her husband nodded, still staring dumbly down at her stomach. The baby kicked again, and Loki’s jaw dropped. “You said ‘he’, how do you know which one it is?”

“Because he’s cold. I can always tell which one is moving.” Darcy tugged on one of his arms free from around her back until she could catch his hand, and put her palm down flat on top of it. Sliding it over to where they’d felt the baby move, she pushed in. “Now, just wait. He’s sneaky. Sometimes you think he’s finished and then he follows up with a whole bunch of….there! Feel that?”

A little flurry of kicks came from under her skin, each one thudding against Loki’s palm in rapid succession. A delighted smile spread over his face. “He's so strong.”

“Right?” Darcy moved his hand slightly and pushed in again, and baby immediately responded by pushing back. “His sister is too. I felt her first, but I think that’s because she’s bigger.”

She heard him swallow hard, and then he said, “Gods, minn sváss, you are carrying my children.”

Darcy looked up from where she’d been watching their joined hands and was struck by the deep emotion on his face. She completely understood what he was feeling. No matter how many times she’d been to her midwife appointments and had been able to sense the babies through Eileithyia’s magic, the first time they moved had made it all real to her. She was suddenly not just watching from the outside in anymore. They twins became a tangible presence in her life.

Loki had just forged that same connection to the babies. Darcy could see it, and was flooded with a wave of affection and love for him. 

“Sit down,” she said, motioning towards the rocking chair that was standing just beside them. 

The chair creaked slightly as Loki sat down and stretched his long legs out in front of him. Darcy stepped between his knees and took both his hands in hers, settling each one on her bump. 

“Okay, now I think she’s sleeping, but I’ll see if we can wake her up.” She bounced up and down on her toes and then held her arms over her head, moving from side to side.

Loki’s lips curled up in amusement at her antics. “Does that truly work?”

“Sometimes. Other times it lulls them to sleep when I’m moving around. Ever see pregnant ladies swaying back and forth? I do it sometimes when one of them has been kicking a lot and I need a break. The motion settles them down.” Darcy took the heel of her hand and pushed in hard on the spot she thought her daughter was occupying. 

At first there was no reaction, so she did it again. This time the baby stretched out full length, and a small lump could be seen pushing outwards for a second beneath her shirt.

“Is that her?” Loki quickly slid his fingers forward to cover where the lump had been.

“Yep. Push in just like I did.”

He flexed his fingers against her stomach and the baby rolled lazily under them. Darcy giggled at his expression. 

“It’s weird, right? Like she’s swimming or something. Which I guess she kinda is,” she surmised. “Anyway, that’s our little girl right there, saying hello to her daddy.”

He was silent, just rubbing his thumbs over the curve of her belly in repeating arcs. 

“What’s on your mind, troublemaker?” Darcy asked.

“I was thinking that in April, I shall be able to say hello back,” he said with a smile.

She beamed back. “We both will. I can’t wait. April is taking forever to get here.”

“Always so impatient,” Loki replied. 

“Says the man who teleported into Eros and Psyche’s house last week just to bring his wife home because, and I quote, ‘The journey would be far too tiring for my little goddess in her condition,’.” She affected his accent as best she could while trying for a deep, Loki voice.

He frowned. “I was being chivalrous.”

“Loki, they live next door.”

“You have to walk through both gardens, it is further than you think.”

“Uhuh. And the fact that you promptly made our clothes disappear and did totally wicked things to me on the kitchen counter had nothing to do with it, right? That just occurred to you _after_ you abruptly interrupted me cooing over my new nephew, made the flimsiest excuse for leaving ever, and teleported us back home.”

“I am wounded by your lack of faith in my motives,” he said in an offended tone.

“And I find you trying to pretend that you didn’t just show up and whisk me away home because you didn’t want to wait any longer to bend me over the center island hilarious.”

He started to smirk. “Fine. I will concede your point. However, it was your own fault, minn sváss.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “How exactly was it my fault?”

“Because…” He stood up, and pulled her into his arms. “...you are so beautiful carrying my babes, I simply cannot help myself.”

“That,” Darcy declared, "is totally cheating, and you know it."

The small smirk turned into a massive one. “Yes, but you love me for it.”

“Get back to painting, Michelangelo,” she said, rolling her eyes at him.

He picked up one of the brushes and handed it to her. “Help me?”

She took the brush and painted a swirling stroke of green onto the nearest tree. “You do realize that both of us holding paintbrushes can only lead to trouble, right?”

“Darcy,” he said, using his own brush to paint a fancy letter L across the front of her shirt, “I am counting on it.”

She decided that pretty much meant war. There was a lot of nonsense following his little artistic flourish. They did eventually get the nursery painted. Loki even conjured up a spell for the ceiling that made it light up with sparkling constellations at night. Darcy was in love with how it turned out. She left the L on her shirt.

He left the D on his.

The rest of the paint they washed off. It took an hour. Well, really, it took five minutes, but they were in the bath for an hour. He was completely serious about how beautiful he thought she was carrying his children, and proved it to her. Twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some nursery stuff. :D  
> 


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arrival in Asgard for Thor's coronation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roxanne requested smut. Since I have a little um...problem...where I have a hard time _not_ putting smut in every chapter, this worked out well. This will probably be the last sexytime in this story, for reasons. (those reasons are pink and blue and are rolling up on their due date) 
> 
> That also means this is the second to last chapter. At least I think it is. As of right now. There might be an epilogue. We'll have to see what happens. 
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter is for you, Roxanne. :D
> 
> *******************************************************************

Darcy was sitting in one of the windowseats in the palace library at Asgard, scrolling through her iPod labor playlist. She’d just added Blitzkrieg Bop and was debating on Rainin’ Babies by the Flaming Lips. Just a few feet away Clint sat with his feet up on a desk, and a book of Asgardian warfare upside down in his hands. 

Tony strolled in and wandered towards her. “Hey Tons of Fun, where’s Elsa? Polishing his ice palace?”

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” Barton held his hand up for Tony to high-five as he walked by.

“You two are complete asshats. You know that, right?” she said, rolling her eyes at them. “What do you want, Tony?”

“What? I can’t just stop by for a casual chat with my favorite daughter?”

Darcy snorted. 

“Has anyone told you that you’ve gotten mean lately?” he sniffed, acting totally wounded. “I thought we were _friends_ , Tons of Fun.”

She dropped her iPad onto the cushion next to her with a sigh. “Fine, Tony. What did you want to casually chat about?”

“Oh you know...the usual,” he replied nonchalantly. “The weather, the upcoming coronation...where they keep the longboats.”

“I knew it!” she proclaimed. “No longboats. Not after what happened last time.”

Clint looked up over his book. “Why? What happened last time?”

“Tony and Dionysus got a longboat stuck up the nose of the big Odin statue out by the Observatory,” Darcy told him. 

“Hey! There’s no proof that it was us,” Tony objected. “Anyone could have done that.”

She folded her arms over her chest. “Oh really? And then spray-painted ‘The Allfather Bites’ across the forehead?”

Barton started laughing.

Stark pursed his lips and gave an innocent shrug. “Look, I maintain that it could have been anyone. You have to admit it’s a pretty widespread sentiment.”

“It also said ‘Tony and Dionysus were here’ under the left ear,” she pointed out dryly.

He narrowed his eyes at her. “We were framed.”

“No. You were drunk. Hence, no longboat for you,” Darcy said.

“No longboats for who?” Pepper asked, coming in through the doors that led to the balcony. “Oh God, is this about the incident last time with the spray paint?”

“Tony wants to take a longboat out,” Clint said helpfully.

“No,” Pepper replied. “Absolutely not. It took us five hours and two quarts of high-octane paint remover to get your little message off the statue before Odin saw it last time.”

“See?” Darcy said. “No longboat.”

“What if I go out with Fandral?” Tony asked.

“No!” Pepper and Darcy shouted at the same time.

“Who’s going out with Fandral?” 

Darcy looked up to see Bruce walking into the library. “Tony wants to go out on a longboat with Fandral,” she explained.

Banner shook his head. “What, after that whole statue thing in January? Yeah. I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Thanks,” Tony replied acerbically. “I appreciate the vote of confidence, Bruce.”

“Why are all you people in the library, anyway?” Darcy asked. 

“Just trying to keep Tony out of trouble,” Pepper said. “It’s my full-time occupation.”

“I was reading up on my steampunk viking battle techniques,” Barton offered.

Tony made a sound of derision. “No you aren’t. You’re hiding from Natasha. What’s up with you two? Lovers spat? She won’t wear the dragon wings and bring the flame thrower to bed?”

“Tony!” Pepper glared at him. “Just ignore him Clint. He’s missing that critical filter that civilized people normally have between their brain and their mouth.” 

“That is probably the most succinct explanation for Anthony’s behavior that I have ever heard,” Loki said, appearing in the window seat opposite Darcy, reclining with one knee bent and the other leg stretched out in front of him.

Stark gaped. “Has he been here this whole time?”

“Yep,” Darcy said, scrolling through her iPod again.

“You _knew_ he was there?”

“Yep.”

“Does he just hang out invisible often?”

Darcy looked at him over her iPod. “Yep.”

“Well that’s not creepy at all,” Bruce interjected.

“This is just getting weird,” Darcy said. “It’s like some real life version of the Breakfast Club. Any minute now Odin is going to walk in here and ask if we heard a ruckus.”

“What ruckus?” Thor inquired, striding into the room, and everyone but him and Loki started to crack up.

“Do you have any idea what is causing such mirth?” he asked Loki.

Loki shook his head. “None.”

Bruce managed to get himself together long enough to ask, “Could you describe the ruckus?”, and all of them collapsed with laughter again.

Finally Darcy had wound down to random hiccups and giggles. She slid off the windowseat and held her hand out to Loki. “Come on Bender, let’s go make out in a supply closet.”

It was clear he still had no idea what she was talking about, but took her hand anyway. They walked slowly back to his room. Mostly because that was the only speed Darcy was running on anymore. She was two weeks away from her due date, and felt like her body was set permanently on ‘lumber’.

“Are you sure you do not wish me to teleport us?” Loki asked, watching her carefully for signs of stress.

She squeezed his hand reassuringly. “No babe, I’m good. It helps to walk. I’ve been having Braxton Hicks off and on all day. At least they stopped and I can breathe again.”

“You’re certain they are Braxton Hicks? Have you timed them?”

“Loki, stop worrying. These babies are not coming today. I told them they were not allowed to show up until after the coronation, and I used my mommy voice. They totally respect the mommy voice.”

A few minutes later she was standing in front of the big mirror in his bathing room while he drew them a bath, looking at her massive bump. She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and saw Loki reflected as he lounged in the doorway watching her. 

“Hey there, sexy,” Darcy said. 

“Hello.” He straightened up and headed over to her. “Admiring how lovely you are?”

“Am I lovely?” she asked. “I’m feeling kind of...not.”

Fingers swept her hair off her shoulder and lips brushed over her neck. “You are utterly bewitching” he said, his voice a low purr in her ear.

“Tony calls me Tons of Fun.”

“Anthony is an ass. You are a gorgeous, sensual creature. Shall I show you?” Loki slid the straps of her dress down her shoulders, and the neckline dipped precariously.

Darcy watched in the mirror as he undid the ribbons that laced the dress together on the sides, pulling them free and letting them flutter to the ground. The fabric slid down over the swell of her tummy and fell to pool at her feet. He turned her so she was reflected sideways in the glass.

“I love this,” Loki said, hand languorously trailing down the length of her spine. “Look how the curve of your back echoes the curve of your belly. Tell me that is not beautiful.” His other hand traced circles over the thin skin of her abdomen.

The hands moved now, coming up to cup her breasts. He shifted so he was standing behind her and she leaned back into him. 

“I love this as well, your breasts, full and heavy in my hands.” His thumbs stroked gently over the sensitive nipples, making her breath quicken. “Do you have any idea how arousing they are?”

One hand remained, fingers lightly teasing her breasts, as the other one skimmed down the curvature of her belly and hip to caress her lower. “And here, so very delicate. Like silk, but hot, and slick, and eager for my touch.”

She gave a shaky little moan, body undulating in his arms.

“You are lush, delectable. My lovely little goddess,” he murmured, lips working their way over the line of her jaw. His gaze met hers in the reflective glass surface, and he pulled back on her hip enough that she could see his fingers stroking her through the lime-colored lace of her boyshorts.

“Loki,” she whispered, reaching up to wind her fingers in the hair at the back of his neck. 

He growled at the wanton sound of her voice, and rocked his body against her in a slow grind. “Touch me, minn sváss.”

She reached back to undo the laces on his pants and her fingers met only Loki. Glancing in the mirror she saw he’d made his clothes disappear while she was distracted.

“That is still my favorite trick,” Darcy said, wrapping her hand around him and sliding it up and down his shaft.

“What you are doing right now is one of mine,” he replied thickly, thrusting into her hand.

Her thumb swiped over the top, slipping wetly over the liquid gathered there and around the ridge at the base of the head. Loki made a low rumble of pleasure and pushed harder though her fingers. Darcy pressed her clit against the heel of his palm as he continued to stroke her inside. 

“God, I want you so bad.” she said. “How do you always do this to me?” She laughed. It was breathy and quick, and finished in a moan. 

He chuckled. “You are not the only one, Darcy. Had we been alone in the library this morning, I would have had you on the desk with my tongue trapped between your thighs.”

“You have a desk. A big one. It’s in the other room.”

“I also have a bathing pool, and our bath is ready. Come with me?” He hooked his thumbs into her boyshorts and pushed them off her legs. Then he took her hand and led her into the water.

Loki sat down on the lowest of the shallow steps, and situated her so that she was straddling his lap. He leaned back on his elbows, and smiled provocatively at her. “I am at your mercy, minn sváss.”

“You know what would be hot?” she asked, tracing a finger over his clavicle. 

“Tell me.”

“If you were _really_ at my mercy.”

“Mmmm,” he said. “Like this?”

Silver chains appeared, connected to rings on the sides of the bath. They snaked across the water and fastened themselves to shackles around his wrists. Another one shimmered into existence behind him and connected to a collar around his neck.

She felt a jolt of lust rush through her, sudden and sharp. “God, Loki. _God_.”

He stretched up towards her, stopped short by his chains dragging over the stone steps. “Is this what you wanted?”

Darcy placed her palms flat on the step behind his hips and leaned down so she could lick his lips. “Can Frosty come out to play too?” she whispered.

An answering smile pressed against her mouth, and moments later she felt the telltale cold of him shifting into his Jötunn form. She pushed up with her arms so she could see his face. His crimson eyes watched her intently, and his lips parted in a teasing smirk. 

“I love seeing you like this,” she said, running her fingertips over the sigils on his chest and making him hiss. 

Loki’s hands settled on her hips, the cold of his fingers and metal around his wrists an erotic contrast with the heat of the water. She could feel him, hard and ready, nudging her thigh under the water. It only took a small shift to move herself so he was positioned where she wanted him, and then she lowered herself on him.

As always, his temperature and the raised ridges along his cock made her gasp with pleasure. He had much the same reaction to her, the warmth of her body causing his jaw to go slack and his eyes to close for a second. She lifted up and dropped down again, taking him deep. 

Each movement of their bodies caused the chains that bound him to scrape on the stones, and ring out with a muted metallic clashing. Loki let her dominate the pace, matching her rhythm and allowing his hands to roam over her curves. 

She finally took his wrists and pinned them both down on the top edge of the bath, using them as leverage to ride him harder. He was bucking up into her, meeting each roll of her hips with a fierce thrust of his own. Darcy felt her orgasm starting to quake through her and ground down viciously on him. She cried out, arching until her hair touched the water, and his answering growl echoed off the rafters. The chains snapped tight as Loki bowed against her, body caught up in the throes of his own release. 

She was completely lost in a swirl of ice and heat, sensation and reaction. It seemed to course back and forth between them both until she collapsed, spent, over his chest.

A short time later Darcy lay curled up in their bed with him propped up on one elbow next to her. Her blue eyes gazed up into his green ones and she grinned.

"That was awesome. You were all restrained, and sexy, and Jötunn."

He smiled mischievously at her. "Minx. Next time I shall be the one doing the restraining. I intend to make you beg." 

"Bring it, troublemaker, I love when you hold me down and make me scream." She broke into a wide yawn, covering her mouth with her hand. "But can you do it after my nap? All that dominating a Frost Giant wore me out."

"Of course." Loki kissed her lingeringly once on the mouth, and then brushed his lips over her forehead. "Rest, minn sváss, I will make you scream when you wake."


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had intended this to be the last chapter, but it's not. 
> 
> It's also dedicated to LNtD and Marshy. They won the dress contest and asked for Taserbabies. Here you go, you amazing girls, you. Babies. One with red hair. 
> 
> Also, Hanna...you have an in-story shout out. It is officially canon. James threw the baby shower. :D :D :D
> 
> ****************************************************************

Darcy woke up on the morning of Thor’s coronation with an odd, unsettled feeling. She chalked it up to eating too much at the feast the night before. Even Volstagg had seemed impressed with how much she’d been able to pack in. She just reminded everyone that keeping enough sustenance in her body for two Olympians and a Jötunn was a serious business. And then asked them to pass the chocolate trifle, because seriously. Chocolate trifle.

Now though, she felt like maybe that second helping of pickled vegetable-thingy might have been a bad idea. Or maybe she just really, really had to pee, which was kind of par for the course lately. Carefully disentangling herself from Loki’s arms, Darcy snuck into the bathroom to take care of business.

Once she’d returned and had a large glass of water from the carafe on the bedside table, she started to feel better. Today was totally exciting. Thor was going to be crowned King of Asgard, and Jane was going to be crowned Queen. Plus she had a fabulous dress, and Loki was going to be all sexy and formal in his helmet.

She slid back under the covers, and looked at her gorgeous husband. He was always so pretty when he slept. His expression was smooth and serene, with a slight smile on his lips. As she watched, his eyes fluttered open, and the smile grew into something heart-wrenchingly relieved, and sweet.

Loki had told her once in a moment of unguarded emotion that some mornings he woke up still expecting to be in a cell, alone and grieving. He was was afraid that their life was a dream he had conjured up, because part of him still doubted if he deserved any of it due to his past. The idea that he still thought he deserved to be imprisoned broke her heart. 

Being in Asgard didn’t help. So Darcy did her very best to be there when he woke up, and stuck by him like a little pregnant burr the entire time. She knew memories were going to get stirred up from the last attempted coronation, and all the insanity that had come from that mess. Her whole focus was on being there for Loki today. Besides, what were the odds that things would get crazy again? 

It would all be fine. This time tomorrow they would be headed home to spend their final two weeks before the babies were born relaxing. She still had to put the gifts from her baby shower away. Darcy had to stifle a laugh when she thought of it. The cupcakes, and the streamers, and the look on her friend James’ face when she walked in after Thor’s rainstorm of doom. Best. Baby Shower. Ever.

Her memories of the shower were interrupted by two long arms tugging her into a warm embrace. Loki arranged her against his chest, snagging a pillow to tuck under her back so she was supported. She rested her hand on his chest, and then slowly moved it in a wide arc down over his stomach, smiling when she felt the muscles flutter and jump under her palm.

“Continue that, and this will quickly turn into you being tied to the bed with a roused god between your legs,” he drawled lazily.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” she replied, sliding her hand under the covers and making something else jump. 

************************Half an hour later**************************

“I like that position. The one where your legs are folded under my hips. And the double was a nice touch.” Darcy looked from one Loki to the other, and the double smiled at her as he untied her wrists. “I want to learn how to make doubles.”

Her husband kissed her cheek. “If we were not expected for breakfast, I would teach you. Unfortunately, we are late as it is.” He waved his hand and the double disappeared. “Any moment now Odin will be sending servants to fetch us down.”

“Raincheck then,” she said with a small sigh of disappointment. “Anyway, yay breakfast!”

Loki teleported them downstairs to save her the walk, and they settled in at one of the long trestle tables with their friends.

Tony looked up from his spot halfway down the table. “Morning, Reindeer Games, Mrs. Reindeer Games. Nice of you to finally join us.”

“We’d have been here sooner, but we were having awesome pregnancy sex,” Darcy replied, reaching for a large platter of eggs in some sort of sauce.

“Really?” he inquired, buttering a piece of toast. “Does he wear the antlers for that, or do you go business casual?” 

Clint choked on his waffle, and Tasha had to pound on his back.

Darcy shrugged. “It all depends. Sometimes I wear them.”

Poor Barton started coughing even harder, and Steve had an expression on his face that made Darcy wonder if he were quite as wholesome and innocent as he appeared.

“Jane wears my wings,” Thor said, flashing them a brilliant smile.

Darcy blinked in amazement. “Really?” She was completely impressed.

“Oh yes. I have even given her a replica of Mjölnir. I very much enjoy when she puts on my helm, and we pretend she is Thora, Queen of the…” Thor abruptly straightened up in his seat and his mouth snapped shut. Darcy strongly suspected that Jane had kicked him.

The entire table had gone silent, just staring at them as Jane blushed bright red. 

“Queen of the what?” Darcy asked, unable to help herself.

The astrophysicist looked down at her plate and muttered, “Valkyries, okay? Queen of the Valkyries. And I _really_ don’t want to talk about this.”

“Hey, don’t sweat it She-Ra, we’re all adults here. What you and Beowulf do in the bedroom is your business,” Tony grinned at her. 

Loki’s eyes flicked back and forth between his brother and his sister-in-law. He seemed more disturbed than anyone else. 

Darcy patted his knee sympathetically. “Try not to visualize it, babe.”

“Too late,” he responded under his breath. 

She leaned up so her lips were close to his ear and whispered, “Just picture me on my knees doing that swirly thing you like instead, and eat your eggs.”

He dropped his fork.

“See? I knew that would work. Anyway, we’ve still got that appointment with Eir and Eileithyia in an hour, so we need to get moving here.”

Loki had insisted on Darcy’s midwife accompanying them to the coronation. Nothing she said about the due date not being for two weeks would sway him. Fortunately, Eileithyia immediately hit if off with Eir and the two healers had bustled off to the infirmary together, discussing their medical techniques.

The rest of breakfast was pretty uneventful. The appointment went well too. She was only a couple more centimeters dilated than she had been the week before. Meh. Apparently cervixes had nothing better to do than hang out being boring until the babies arrived.

The best part was being able to see them in Eir’s magic table of awesome. The twins looked sorta cramped and smooshed. Their daughter was sucking her thumb, obscuring most of her face. Her brother was curled up facing her, so all they saw was his little backside. Still, it was a very cute backside, something she pointed out to everyone in the room.

Then they had a big event in the coliseum to celebrate the coronation, which took up the entire afternoon. Darcy couldn’t help but remember that time she and Loki had gotten up to all kinds of mischief on his ornate throne in that very arena. He seemed to be thinking of it too, because he kept giving her these very heated glances whenever she looked his way. 

Afterwards he insisted that she rest before the actual coronation. Darcy acquiesced. That weird, unsettled feeling from earlier had come back, and she was having more annoying Braxton Hicks contractions. She snuggled into a nest of pillows on the bed, and he sat next to her reading a book. It wasn’t long before she was lulled to sleep by the stillness of the room and quiet page turning.

Darcy woke up feeling decidedly uncomfortable. Her stomach was off, and the Braxton Hicks were driving her bonkers. She drank some water and took a bath in the hopes of stopping them, but no dice. Finally she got dressed, trying to keep her discomfort from Loki. He’d be worrying through the whole coronation if he knew she felt sick.

It briefly crossed her mind that she might be in labor and she immediately dismissed it. Labor had to feel worse than this. This was just sort of tight, and slightly irritating. The twins weren’t due for two weeks. She was not about to be one of those false-alarm girls, who thought every little twitch meant the babies were on their way.

It wasn’t until they were already standing up on the dais, watching Odin name Thor Asgard’s new monarch, that Darcy really started to wonder if maybe it _was_ labor. She switched her weight from foot to foot, wishing she could walk around. 

Loki shifted his attention from the spectacle by the throne to his antsy wife, and set a gentle hand on her lower back. “Are you ill?” he inquired in a low tone.

“No. I’m good. My back hurts a little,” she replied, knowing he would accept that. And anyway, it was totally true.

She felt a tingling sensation of magic from where his hand was touching her back, and then a soothing warmth flooded her sore muscles. It really helped, and Darcy gave a small sigh of relief.

It didn’t stop the tightening in her abdomen though, and by the time the Thor was finally crowned, Darcy was past the point of wanting it it be over. Everyone knelt to the new King of Asgard, and then Loki led her out on his arm. They joined everyone else at the ridiculously huge feast. 

They’d just gotten seated when a contraction hit her like a eighteen wheeler, and she gasped as the whole room faded while it lasted. Crap. She excused herself, saying she needed to get some air, and walked out onto the nearby balcony.

“I told you two that you had to wait until after the coronation,” Darcy said sternly to her stomach. “I used mommy-voice! You are supposed to respect mommy-voice!”

“I have found that babes have very little respect for our wishes when it comes to being born,” a calm and slightly amused voice said, and Darcy turned to find Odin standing next to her.

“They can’t do this right now,” Darcy argued. “They have two weeks left. I’m not ready.”

“As I recall, Frigga said much the same thing when Thor arrived six days early. It did not stop him either.”

Another contraction hit her and she clutched for the marble railing, face crumpling in pain. Instead of the cool stone, her hand met a strong, sure grip. She squeezed as hard as she could, just trying to focus on anything besides the way it hurt. As it ebbed, she released her tight hold on his fingers.

“There now. Breathe. You did very well, but I think perhaps we ought to get you to the healers. I would rather my grandchildren were not born on a balcony in front of six hundred guests.”

She gave a small laugh. “Do you think they can tell?”

“No,” he said, with a chuckle of his own. “Although they may be wondering why we are holding hands. My son certainly appears to be.”

Darcy looked up to see Loki rapidly heading their way, frown of concern etched on his face. 

“Babe,” she said as he got closer, “don’t panic…”

That was all the further she got before the next wave of pain. This time it came with a strange, sharp feeling of pressure that ended with a rush of liquid down her legs. Loki’s stunned eyes traveled from her face, to the puddle at her feet, and then back to her face.

“...but I think my water just broke,” she finished. “Shit. This hurts more than I thought it would. Can we please go home now?”

Her husband still appeared to be utterly gobsmacked. 

“I’m in labor,” Darcy advised him helpfully. “Like, right now. And I would like to go home.”

Loki swallowed. “Darcy, we cannot go home. You are in labor.”

Okay, he was clearly not hearing her. Darcy tried again. “Are we having a language barrier problem? We have a birth plan _at home_. I need to go there. We have no plan for Asgard. I can’t have the babies here.” 

Odin set his hand gently on Loki’s shoulder. “You need to get her up to your rooms. I will have Eir and Eileithyia sent to you.”

Darcy stamped her foot. “NO! Look, we’re going to have little chat here about feminism, and my rights as a woman to have these babies in my own home and...aaaaaaargh!”

Contractions were the absolute devil. She had no intention of having any more. Ever.

Loki looked down at her, jaw set, and promptly scooped her up into his arms. “Send the healers,” he said over his shoulder to Odin, and teleported them up to their rooms.

Seconds later an army of healers led by Eir and Eileithyia came bustling in, stripped the bed, and covered it with layers of sterile, white linens. Loki carefully set her down in the middle and the two senior healers went to work.

“I’m not having any more contractions,” Darcy told them as they got her out of her ruined dress and into a soft white chemise-looking thing.

“They have stopped?” Eileithyia asked in confusion.

“No. I’m just not having any more. They suck.”

The two healers shared a knowing smile. “I see,” Eir said. “A wise decision.”

Darcy’s wise decision was shot to shit ten seconds later. Loki watched her, completely helpless to know what to do, as she whimpered in pain. The midwife and the healer snapped into action, taking Darcy’s hands and coaxing her through it.

“We will start timing from this one,” Eileithyia said.

“I love you, Loki, but I kind of want you to die right now,” Darcy ground out through clenched teeth.

“She doesn’t really mean it,” Eir said comfortingly. “Go, hold her. She needs you.”

He slid onto the bed next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Tell me what you need.”

“Loki,” she said, eyes full of tears, “I can’t do this. We don’t have any of our stuff, and my music isn’t on, and I’m not at home. Can we just wait, and do this in two weeks like we’re supposed to? Please?”

“Listen to me, little goddess, you _can_ do this. I know you can. I am right here with you. And we have your music. Watch.” He snapped his fingers and the first song from her labor playlist filled the room.

She sniffled. “Are you doing that?”

“Of course I am.” He wiped the tears off her face. “You needed your music. What else may I do for you?”

“That warm thing that you did during the coronation? Can you do that again? It really helped.”

“Oh, I can do better than that,” he assured her, and moved so that she was sitting back against his chest with his legs on either side of her. “Now just relax. Let me hold you.” He settled his hands on either side of her belly and curling tendrils of heat began to seep into her skin and muscle. 

On the next contraction she laced her fingers in his, and he talked her through it. They continue like that as her labor wore on. Her in his arms, and Loki quietly encouraging her. He told her all sorts of things to distract her. All about his childhood in Asgard, and how he felt the first time he saw her, and all the times he wanted to drag her into the nearest supply closet at Shield and have his way with her before they’d gotten together. If Eir and Eileithyia were scandalized by the conversation they didn’t let on. 

There came a time when the contractions were so close together and intense that he just held her in silence while she was in their grip. Darcy even slept a little between them at one point. The healers said that was all normal, and that she was getting very close to delivery and would need her strength.

He never left her side. Not once. Even after she called him a string of names that would have made Tony blush.

The healers worked quietly around them, only interrupting to check Darcy or the babies. All three patients were doing just fine. 

After what seemed like an interminable amount of hours to Darcy, there was a strong shift in what the contractions felt like. They went from pain to push. It was just that fast. 

She pushed with every ounce of her being. 

Hillevi Frigga was born first. She had her mother’s lips and her father’s cheekbones. Her head was covered in an auburn fuzz that looked suspiciously like it might turn out to be curly. Evi was very, very loud. 

They laid her in Darcy’s arms, and the first time she heard her mother’s voice, she immediately quieted. There was a beautiful moment of stillness, where the baby gazed up into the faces of her parents with just as much wonder as they were projecting down at her.

“Hello, beautiful Hillevi,” Loki said, as her tiny fingers curled around one of his large ones. 

Five minutes later her brother made his way into the world. He was born at 12:01 am on April first.

Kári Hemming was quieter than his sister. He had sigils just like Loki’s, but his skin was a fairer shade of blue. There was a thick thatch of coal-black hair on his head, sticking up all over. As his crimson eyes found his mother’s face, he started to change his skin tone to match hers. Then he saw his Jötunn father smiling down at him, and Kári paused mid-transformation. 

Darcy held her breath as father and son regarded each other. Loki reached down and cupped Kári’s little face in his hand, and the moment he touched him, blue washed back over they baby’s skin.

Darcy thought he was gorgeous. She totally started to cry.

Eileithyia carefully tucked Evi into Darcy’s other arm, and wrapped a blanket snugly around the babies and their mother. Then she and Eir stepped back to let the new family have some time together. 

“She has red hair,” Loki marveled, touching the silky fluff on his daughter’s head. 

Darcy smiled up at him. “I know! Isn't she pretty? She’s so pretty. Look, he totally has your chin. And your eyebrows.”

“My little north wind,” Loki said, gently lifting Kári out of her arms and cradling him against his chest. “Falleg sonur minn.”

The baby’s mouth opened in a round 'o' as he yawned, and they both laughed. 

“I can’t believe they’re here. We _made_ these babies, Loki. You’re a daddy.”

Loki looked from his children to his wife, then he returned his son to her and took her face in his hands. “Thank you.” He kissed her forehead. “Thank you.” Two more kisses, one on each cheek. “Thank you.” A final kiss, tender and adoring on her lips. 

“Come cuddle with us?” she asked.

He lifted a corner of the blanket free and slipped in next to the three of them, transferring Hillevi from Darcy’s arms to his own. She sighed contentedly and snuggled into his side. 

After they had spent some time just counting fingers and toes, Darcy fed the babies, and then both twins were tucked into Loki’s old cradle to sleep. She curled close to the side of the bed where she could see them, with Loki spooned up behind her. Darcy's last memory before exhaustion claimed her was watching him leaning over her shoulder, completely absorbed in the sight of their sleeping children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few weeks ago, LicieOIC made me this most amazing Tasertricks art. And her explanation on tumblr was that Loki is looking down at the faces of his children while Darcy watches and smiles. How completely amazing is it? She's insanely talented, and I was dying to share it with you, but had to wait for this chapter. (that was super hard)
> 
>  
> 
> Just in case anyone was wondering, Kári is the name of the Norse God who personifies the North Wind. He was also one of the original Jötunns. (According to google, anyway. Let's all squint and pretend google is always right.) Hemming means Shapeshifter, which I thought was pretty apt for a baby who has the same magic powers as his daddy. Oh, and the thing Loki says to Kári? It's Icelandic (I used a lot of that for what Darcy calls space-viking) and it means 'My beautiful son.'
> 
> Hillevi was suggested by LNtD, and it stuck with me the entire time I was writing. It means 'Safe in Battle'. I thought that worked well for a little girl with a strong personality whose grandfather was the God of War. Her middle name is pretty self-explanatory. ;)


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting the babies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did everybody have a super awesome Labor Day weekend? (well, the people that celebrate Labor Day, anyway) We had a picnic, and my friend Rachel brought snicker salad. Look. I need to take a moment to wax eloquent about snicker salad.
> 
> It is amazing. Basically, you take fruit, cool whip, vanilla pudding, and snickers bars and you mix them all up. Then you bring it to my house, where I eat it. 
> 
> And here is the best part. We watched Tom Hiddleston do adorable things in youtube videos while we ate the snicker salad. I know. It was madness. 
> 
> Anyway, here is your chapter. The next one is the last one. Sigh. (for real this time, and that is totally bumming me out)
> 
> ***********************************************************

The next day Loki and Darcy were getting the babies ready to meet their friends. Loki currently had Evi wrapped in a large towel, and was gingerly rubbing a wet cloth over her curly hair. She was watching him with the curious, deep-blueberry colored eyes of a newborn. 

He finished with her hair, pulled up a corner of the towel to keep her head warm, and moved to one of her little hands. His daughter managed to work her wrist free of his grasp, and waved her arm triumphantly.

“This,” he said, looking sternly at her, “is not getting things done, Princess Hillevi. We will be receiving guests. Do you not wish to look your best?”

The baby gnawed thoughtfully on her fist, but didn’t reply.

Loki leaned down and affected a confidential tone. “If you do not let me wash that arm, I will not let you come with me the next time I attempt world domination.”

Darcy smiled from her spot on the bed where she was feeding their son. “No taking over the world you two. At least not before we have lunch.”

“Ignore her. Your mother has never taken over the world, she has no idea how much fun it is.” Loki removed Hillevi’s hand from her mouth and cleaned it, and then ran the cloth up her arm before switching to the other side. 

The Goddess of Pranks and Sass just shook her head and returned her attention to her little boy. Kári was in Æsir form at the moment. He tended to switch back and forth at will. Since the healers assured her that it wasn’t stressful for the baby, Darcy didn’t worry too much about it. 

He looked just like Loki. She couldn’t believe how much. Kári’s eyes were even the same brilliant green as his father’s. Loki said that was part of the instinctive magic, and that first time he’d seen Loki not in his Jötunn form, the baby had simply mimicked what he saw. 

Those eyes were closed right now, black lashes curling on his little cheeks. She gently stroked a finger over his delicate eyebrows and his forehead wrinkled up for a second before smoothing out again. 

Darcy couldn’t believe how much she loved him. She couldn’t even explain it. The twins had suddenly become the most important beings in her entire world. She snuggled Kári closer and kissed the top of his head, reveling in the new baby smell.

Loki had finished bathing Hillevi and was working on getting her dressed. He looked at the small pile of clothing on the table next to her, and then at the squirming infant, before magicking them on her.

“Cheater,” Darcy said, settling the now sleeping Kári in the cradle by the bed. “I dressed him the old-fashioned way.”

“Yes, and it took you twenty minutes. This is much more efficient.”

“You mean much more like _cheating_ ,” she said dryly. “And don’t think I didn't see you change a diaper like that earlier, because I totally did.”

They were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. Loki handed Hillevi to Darcy and went to answer it. After a few seconds of quiet conversation in the doorway, he stepped back and an entire phalanx of people trooped into the room. 

“Hey guys,” Darcy said, waving from the bed. 

“Hello, little sister, I hear you have given me a niece and a nephew. What a truly magnificent gift for my coronation,” Thor said beaming down at her.

“Yeah, she totally stole your thunder there, Beowulf. Get it? Thunder? Because you’re the God of Thunder.” Tony looked around as everyone groaned. “What? Geez, tough audience.”

“I’m leaving you at home next time,” Pepper said, giving him a look. “Hi Darcy, please excuse him. He’s an idiot.”

“I’m your idiot,” Tony pointed out.

The tall redhead sighed. “I know. Anyway, congratulations you two! So exciting!”

“Thank you,” Darcy replied, smiling. 

Jane was hovering over the cradle where Kári lay sleeping. “Oh my _God_ , Darce! Look at him!” she whispered, covering her mouth with one hand and flapping the other one next to her face. “I think I might cry.”

The baby stretched, and all the women in the room cooed. Even Natasha, who was standing behind Jane and leaning over her shoulder.

“May I?” Pepper asked, gesturing towards Hillevi.

Darcy nodded and Pepper carefully took Evi from her, securely cradling her in her arms. Jane and Tasha crowded around her, making the sorts of noises people do at a brand new baby.

“Who’s a beautiful girl? Hm?” Pepper said, rocking the baby gently in her arms. “You are! You’re a beautiful girl!”

Thor turned his thousand watt smile on Pepper. “You look very natural with a baby, Pepper. Anthony! You and Pepper ought to have one of your own!”

Tony looked positively hunted. “You first, Beowulf.”

“Actually,” Thor replied, wrapping his arm around Janes shoulders, “we have some…”

Jane shook her head furiously.

Darcy immediately sat up in the bed. “What? Oh my God, you guys. WHAT?”

Loki, who had been watching like a hawk as Pepper held his daughter, turned his attention to his brother.

Jane was staring up at Thor and they were both smiling like loons. “We were going to _wait_ to tell you. You know, since this is kind of your moment and all.” It was clear Jane was directing her words at her husband, but her exasperation was lost in his expression of deep joy.

“My Jane is with child,” he told them, smiling at his queen like she was the only woman all the Nine Realms.

Darcy whooped. 

“Et tu Brute?” Tony said, with an expression that implied everyone was conspiring to betray him.

Jane immediately turned green and made a beeline for the bathroom.

“It gets better!” Darcy called after her happily. “I’ll buy you some saltines.” 

“If I were you,” Loki said, clapping Thor on the back, “I would go hold her hair. Unless you wish to spend the entirety of her pregnancy sleeping in a spare bedroom.”

Thor blinked and then nodded, quickly following Jane into the other room.

“Loki always held my hair,” Darcy declared, smiling up at the father of her children. “Didn’t you, babe? And I threw up like, all the time.” 

He walked over to the side of the bed and kissed the top of her head. “It was my privilege.”

“Really? Really, Reindeer Games? Your _privilege_?” Tony said. “Who are you people, and why are you doing this to me?”

Their laughter woke up Kári, who let out a furious wail. Loki scooped him up and soothed him, walking across the room and speaking softly to his little son. The baby continued to fuss.

“You’re going to have to do the thing, babe,” Darcy said. “He’s probably too hot.”

“What thing?” Banner asked. He’d been watching quietly from his spot by the door.

“It’s a Jötunn thing,” Darcy said with a shrug. “He gets too hot and then Loki… Well...you’ll see.”

Loki turned his back on them and seconds later the baby stopped fussing. Thor and Jane chose that moment to walk back out of the bathroom. Darcy held her breath. She could see the lines of tension running through Loki’s shoulders and back. He still wasn’t entirely comfortable with other people seeing him in his true form. 

Thor was silent for a moment and then held his hands out. “May I hold my nephew?”

Loki hesitated briefly, and then gingerly placed his small, blue son in his brother’s arms. “You must support his head, and place your other hand just here,” he said.

Thor adjusted his hold, and lifted the baby up close on his chest. Loki couldn’t seem to step away. He just stood there, nearly toe to toe with his brother, scarlet eyes apprehensive.

The God of Thunder gazed steadily at the baby, “I am your uncle, Kári Lokison, and this lovely woman is your Aunt Jane.” He looked at Loki, and then a huge grin broke across his face. “We must get this child a hammer.”

“Over my dead body,” Loki replied. “Any oaf can swing a hammer.”

“Do not listen to him,” Thor said conspiratorially to the baby. “Hammers are lordly weapons, unlike daggers. Your Uncle Thor shall teach you how to use one.”

Loki snorted and rolled his eyes. “Your Uncle Thor is delusional.”

Darcy felt a wave of relief roll over her. The two men continued to banter.

“I still think blue is a good look for him,” Tony said. 

“Me too,” she replied, admiring her Frost Giant husband as he laughed with his brother.

Their friends visited a little while longer, and then left to give them a peace and quiet with the newborns. Darcy was just drifting off, when she felt Loki slide into the bed beside her and pull her into his arms. She curled up in his embrace, and he tucked the blanket around them. 

“I’m so happy,” she mumbled sleepily. “Are you happy, Loki?”

The God of Mischief looked at his children sleeping next to them, and then at his wife, safe in his arms. He pressed a contented kiss to her forehead, and simply said, “Completely.”


	46. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life after babies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys...
> 
> This is the last chapter. I can't even. Writing this story has been the most fun I have ever had with a fic. So much of that is because of all the awesome people reviewing who encouraged me, and sent me bunnies/prompts, and were just amazing in general.
> 
>  
> 
> **All The Thank You. All of it.**
> 
>  
> 
> I love this ship. I'm so glad I stumbled upon it three months ago. How they have not worked out why these characters need to meet immediately in any of the Thor or Avenger movies is beyond me. Mischief and Tasers 4-evah.
> 
> I can't believe this story is over. I will need so much snicker salad and Nutella to get over it, that I might end up with diabetes. On a happy note, I've got a whole other Tasertricks story in the works, and I've just posted the first chapter. You can read it here: [Captivated](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2245620/chapters/4927443)
> 
> ************************************************************

**********Sixteen Years Later**********

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. You go left, and I’ll cover you from behind the fort. We’ve got this, Kári, because your dad is totally expecting us to come from the right.” Darcy sneaked a look over the top of the snow pile in front of them. She could just barely see Loki and Hillevi peeking around the side of their own stronghold, which was decorated with green and gold banners.

“What about the Starks?” Kári asked, army-crawling over to the the far side of the fort and checking on the other family hunkered down in their own trench across the clearing. “They’ll have a clear shot at me.”

“Nope, your Uncle Thor and cousin Freya are going to hold them off until you get close enough to take Fort Mischief,” she assured him, reaching up to adjust the purple flag with the letters P&S written on it in curling script. “We are so going to win. All you have to do is get their flag, and get back here. Piece of cake. Ready?”

Her son grinned at her, and snowball formed in his outstretched palm. “Ready.”

“Awesome. Three...two...one..GO!” Darcy watched as he darted around the side of the fort, throwing snowballs at Team Mischief as quickly as he could form them. She began grabbing the ones piled up in front of her and lobbing them over his head, laughing as they hit Loki and Hillevi in a flurry of muffled thuds. 

Kári sprinted across the clearing, deftly avoiding the barrage of snowy artillery landing all around him. Darcy whooped with triumphant laughter as he snatched the green flag from Fort Mischief and bolted back towards her. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!!!! Team Pranks and Sass rules!!! Team Mischief drools!!!!” she shouted, jumping up and down in excitement. 

“ _Who_ drools?” a smug, drawling voice asked from just behind her. 

Darcy watched, feeling like a total idiot, as the Loki in in the fort with Hillevi disappeared. How had she not guessed? Of course the Loki in the fort was a double, set there to distract her while the _real_ Loki snuck through the trees behind her to take her by surprise. 

“Shit,” she said succinctly, as she slowly turned around.

“Hello, minn sváss." Loki was smiling slyly, and holding a giant handful of snow in one hand.

“So um...I don’t suppose I could surrender?” she asked, backing away from him with her hands out in front of her. “Request political asylum?”

He took a step towards her, slowly shaking his head. “No.”

“Right. Well then…bye!” Darcy teleported to the other side of the clearing with him in hot pursuit.

What followed was a breakneck chase through the woods with her scarcely managing to stay half a step in front of her fast-moving husband. She had just appeared in front of a frozen pond, and was deciding where to go next, when Loki tackled her to the ground, long body smashing her flat in the snow.

He quickly moved up her frame, using his knees to hold her down so he could shove the handful of snow down the front of her fluffy parka. 

“Oh my God! _COLD_!” she shrieked, flailing in an effort to shake him loose.

He merely grabbed another handful and rubbed it into her hair. She fought furiously to get an arm free. The minute she did, Darcy scooped up her own handful of snow and got him right in the face with it. Loki immediately grabbed her wrists, holding them in one hand so he could wipe the snow out of his eyes. 

“You will pay for that insult, Midgardian strumpet,” he threatened teasingly, and Darcy burst out laughing.

“Really? _Midgardian strumpet_? What does that make you, Frosty?”

Loki smiled down at her, slowly shifting so his body was stretched over hers, and his mouth was hovering close enough that she could feel his breath on her lips. “Lucky.”

Darcy briefly wondered if snow sex would be worth the frostbite as Loki closed the distance between them and kissed her. Yeah, it would totally be worth it. She was just starting to decide how to best get their clothes out of the equation, when she heard the sound of someone clearing their throat nearby.

They both looked up to see the other participants of the snow war standing around them in a ragged half-circle.

“Ew you guys. Seriously?” Hillevi remarked. “God, this is so embarrassing.”

Darcy flopped back in the snow with a groan, and covered her face with her mittens. “Tell me again why we wanted to have children?”

“I have asked myself that every day since they became teenagers,” Loki replied. “We must have been mad.”

“Mmm,” she agreed, and then leaned up to whisper in his ear, “Want to make another one?”

Loki’s pupils immediately dilated. “Absolutely.”

“I’ll meet you at our place in New York in fifteen minutes,” she said softly, and winked at him before teleporting down to Earth.

When she arrived at the apartment, Darcy began stripping off her winter clothes, leaving a trail of them following her into the bathroom. She turned on the shower, and set her trusty old iPod into the dock that was still sitting on vanity. Thirty seconds later Add It Up was echoing off the travertine walls.

She slipped into the shower and waited for Loki. It didn’t take long.

“Is impromptu bathroom cabaret something you indulge in often?” he asked, watching her sing along to the music as she ran a soapy sponge over her body.

Darcy grinned at him and put her hand on her hip. “Is walking in on your guests while they’re showering something you indulge in often?”

“No,” Loki said, clothes disappearing as he walked forward to pin her against the tile wall. “Just. One.”

*************They totally lived happily ever after.*************** ******

Kári married Amelia Stark, the daughter of Tony and Pepper. Loki is still lamenting the fact that he will be stuck with Anthony for the rest of eternity, because Dionysus requested immortality for Amelia’s parents as soon as the engagement was announced. He ended up being adept with a spear, just like his mother. Amelia and Kári are expecting their first child in the fall.

Hillevi has secretly been seeing Persephone and Hades’ son, Leo. Darcy knows all about it, but so far has managed to keep Loki from finding out.

Athena and Bruce are still together. They have no children, and thoroughly enjoy their life together, splitting their time between Olympus and Earth.

Natasha and Clint eventually quit S.H.I.E.L.D. and moved to Vanaheim where they raise dragons. Clint names most of them Smaug.

Steve Rogers and Sif are officially dating. Eros swears he had nothing to do with it. Darcy is sure he’s lying but can’t prove it.

Thor and Jane are beloved by all their subjects. Their daughter Freya looks just like her grandmother, and has her magic. She also has a hammer.

Almost nine months to the day of their tryst in the shower, Loki and Darcy welcomed a baby boy into their family. He was born with wings like his Uncle Eros, and a head full of golden curls like his Uncle Apollo. They named him Tayte, which means happy. He lived up to his name, with a friendly, magnetic personality that draws people in. He also inherited his father’s talents for piloting the longboats, and mischief.

Loki and Odin never did resume a father and son relationship. There was just too much betrayal and hurt for Loki to look past. Darcy supported him in that as she did in everything else. They are still ridiculously in love. Darcy suspects they always will be. So does Loki. They continue to sneak off to her temple to do completely naughty things in the back room every chance they get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? You thought you were going to escape without sexy gifs? Pft. People, don't you know me at all?  
> 


End file.
